Curtis girl grows up
by sjwmaw
Summary: A Curtis sister-fic. Rebecca Grace is the 12 year old younger sister of Darry, Soda and Pony. Takes place after the events of the book. She is growing up and pushing the boundaries as she becomes a teenager. How will Darry and her other brothers cope with her growing up and deal with her teenage rebellion?
1. Chapter 1 - Introduction

Chapter 1

**Introduction**

My name is Rebecca Grace and I have just turned 12. Unlike 2 of my brothers I have quite an ordinary name, that's because I'm named after my 2 Grandmas. I have long auburn hair and green eyes like my brother Ponyboy. I am mostlyknown as Becky or Bex, except when I am in trouble. I am meant to be bright, like Pony and I skipped a grade like him, but I don't really like school. My best friend Tara lives a couple of blocks away. She is fun, kind and generous but more of a rebel than me. She lives with her Mum and older sister Samantha, who is 16. Lucky her, I would love to have just one sister!

I am fairly shy, but not so much around the gang who I have grown up with. I love listening to music, especially The Kinks, but I also have a soft spot for Elvis, like my Mom did. Most of all I love to dance! I am also short like my mom at around 5 feet, unlike Darry and Soda who top 6ft and even Pony is now heading that way too. I try to make up for it with my cheeky personality. I love my family more than anything and I know they feel the same.

I get on ok with Pony who's 14, though he and I are very different. He loves nothing more than peace and quiet and a book, whereas I love constant music and chatter. I get on well with Soda, who's 17, like everyone does. I am close to him, but not as close and he and Pony are. He is sweet to me and still likes to treat me like his baby sister, even though I am no baby any more. I think he wants me to stay little and cute forever and finds it hard to see me growing and becoming a teenager.

Darry is 20 and he used to spoil me too before our parents died, but now he is trying to be more like a parent with me and he thinks he has to be tough with me sometimes. I don't necessarily agree about that! He doesn't always get me, but I think he likes my enthusiasm for life, which I share with Soda.

It's been 10 months since our parents' death and 2 since the death of Johnny and Dally. Life is still difficult. Pony is just starting to be more like himself again, but still finds it harder to concentrate than before and misses Johnny more than anything, I know. Strangely I really miss Dally. He had a soft spot for me, despite his claim to hate kids. He could be scary if I got sassy with him but he mostly enjoyed teasing me and I liked it too.

Steve and I get along fine. I'm not such a threat to him as Pony, so he tends to be less snippy with me. I sometimes go to the DX after school and hang out with Soda and Steve if Darry lets me.

My favourite member of the gang has to be Two-Bit. He always has time for me and despite his drinking and constant joking he is really sweet and caring. He would do anything for any of us.

All the boys are like an extended family to me, so I have more than my fair share of big brothers trying to boss me around and control my life! The only one I really have to listen to though is Darry and sometimes Soda, but that doesn't stop them all trying to get their share of the job. I am the youngest, the smallest and the only girl, which they seem to think makes it their job to protect me and keep me out of trouble. Again, I don't necessarily agree with this view of things. I am getting more rebellious as I approach my teenage years and I sometimes feel stifled by the guys always keeping an eye on me and stopping me pushing the boundaries. I have had a lot more arguments with them all, especially Darry, in the last couple of months and I think he is starting to realise raising his sister may be even harder than he thought. I try to be good, but nobody can be good all the time and I do need to experience things in life for myself sometimes, Darry wouldn't agree with me on that, he thinks it's enough to be told something is not good and that I don't need to try it first to find out! Poor Darry, I do love him and he is good to me, but as my stand-in parent, he's the one who is going to have to deal with my rebellion if and when it happens. I just hope we can both survive it.


	2. Chapter 2 - Permission Granted

Chapter 2:

**Permission granted**

"Time to get up!" hollered Darry. I lay still and pulled the covers right over my head, hoping he would just go away, but of course he didn't. "Come on Becky, it's 7.00, you'll be late for school if you don't get up now."

I groaned and grumbled out "Ok Darry, I'm awake." I pulled the covers down off my face "See?!"

Darry looked at me sternly and shook his head "Sorry Kiddo, I've heard that one before, I need to see you out of bed or you'll just turn over and go back to sleep."

I groaned again and threw the cover aside, putting my feet on the floor and sitting up. "Happy now?" I pouted.

"Yep, now go get in the bathroom before Soda and Pony take all the hot water." He grinned at me.

I nodded and went off to the bathroom taking my clothes with me to change into after my shower. I had learnt the hard way not to walk around in a towel - I had been teased, jeered at and insulted enough by my brother's friends to not want a repeat of that.

Once I was ready I wandered into the kitchen where Darry was flipping some pancakes to add to the pile already on the table. I grabbed one and smothered it with syrup adding some banana. I shared my brothers' sweet tooth, but thankfully not their appetite, managing only one pancake to their four or five, or else I would be 5 feet wide as well as tall!

"Darry, did you think any more about me going to the dance on Friday?" I had asked Darry at the weekend about going to a dance with Tara at the high school. Tara was still in Junior High and in my grade, so only a year older than me, but her sister had invited Tara and me along with her.

"I don't know Becky, I think you're a little young to be going to a dance with high school kids, you're only just 12." I huffed in annoyance and disappointment. "And don't huff at me, that ain't gonna make me change my mind."

"What is?" I asked hopefully.

"I'll talk to Pony and see if he'll go along with you. If he will then you can go, but you have to be home by 10.00 if you do."

"10.00?!" I said incredulously. Pony was allowed out till midnight and Soda seemed to be able to come and go as he pleased. Why did I have to be back so early?

"It's that or nothing Kiddo, so don't push it."

I pouted as I dug my fork into the sticky pancake.

"Morning Bex!" Soda breezed in dressed for work, except for his bare feet and ruffled my hair.

"Hey!" I complained smoothing it down again.

"What's got your goat this morning?" he grinned

"Nothing," I grunted back, not in the mood to explain Darry's unreasonable rules and risk Darry saying I couldn't go altogether.

"Hey Pony" Soda said cheerfully as Pony shuffled into the kitchen flopping down in a chair and helping himself to a stack of pancakes before smothering them with chocolate sauce and syrup.

"Pony, that's enough sauce, you'll give yourself Diabetes at this rate!" Darry admonished.

Pony rolled his eyes and tucked in.

"Pony are you thinking of going to the school dance on Friday?" Pony looked at Darry like he'd just asked if he had been to the moon.

"No" he said plainly

"Please will you go Pony?" I pleaded with him. He stared at me with a confused look on his face, wondering why it had anything to do with me. "Tara has invited me along but Darry will only let me go if you go along. I really want to go, you know how much I love to dance – Please Pony."

Ponyboy looked almost sick at the prospect. It was his idea of torture going to that kind of social event and he was not one for dancing either.

"No way Bex, I ain't going to the dance. Ask Soda, he might go with you."

"Are you allowed at a high school dance?" I turned to Soda

"Yeah, as long as I go with Two-Bit or some other high school student they'll let me in. I don't mind going with you Bex, but only if I can bring Sarah along."

I rolled my eyes. Sarah was Soda's latest obsession. She was the first girl he had dated since Sandy and he had not learnt from his past mistakes as he was falling head over heels for her. She seemed nice enough, but I couldn't help feeling protective of him after how much he got hurt by Sandy.

"Well that's the offer, take it or leave it." Soda retorted, annoyed by my eye-roll.

"Is that ok Darry?" I asked eagerly.

"I guess so," Darry reluctantly agreed "Same rules apply though, back by 10.00 – got that Soda?"

"Aye, aye Captain." Soda grinned crazily and saluted, bringing a smile to Darry's face.

"Thanks Soda." I grinned and jumped up to give him a kiss before rushing off to brush my teeth. I couldn't believe that Darry had actually agreed to let me go to the dance. I had expected a flat out 'no', but having Soda and Sarah along would be fine. Anyway, I wasn't planning on doing anything that I wasn't happy for Soda to see, just dancing the night away and Soda was used to my crazy dance moves.

"Becky!" Darry yelled "Tara and Two-Bit are here, get a move on if you don't want to walk to school."

"Coming!" I yelled back, quickly rinsing my mouth before grabbing my bag and racing to the door.

"Bye Darry, bye Soda!"

"Bye Honey, bye Pone" Soda replied

"Bye Becky, bye Pony, be good, work hard!" Darry had to add.

"Morning Bexster" Two-Bit grinned, "Why are you looking so pleased with yourself?" although he could guess since Soda had just asked if he could go along to the dance with him to keep an eye on Becky. We all clambered into his car, Pony in the front and me in the back with Tara.

"Darry said I can go to the dance on Friday!" I exclaimed bouncing in my seat.

"Hey watch the upholstery." Joked Two-Bit "It's very delicate you know, can't take too much of your bouncing like that!"

"Are you sure about that Two-Bit" sassed Tara "I hear it gets plenty of bouncing action on Friday and Saturday nights."

"Tara!" I groaned turning red

Tara and Two-Bit just grinned even wider. "You heard right darlin' "he said

"So Darry's letting you come!" Tara exclaimed "I can't believe old Grinch is letting you out for some fun."

I couldn't help smiling, but said "Don't be mean Tara, he ain't all bad, he just worries is all. Anyway there's a condition, which is that Soda has to come along with us and he's gonna bring Sarah too…"

"Well, that's all fine and dandy. They'll be too preoccupied to worry about what you're up to." Tara grinned.

Two-Bit's grin faded though "You ain't planning on being up to anything anyway are you Bexster?" he raised his eyebrows at me in the mirror and I rolled my eyes at him.

"Not that it's any of your business, Two-Bit, but all I plan to do is dance my butt off!"

"Ah, but it is my business what you're up to Becky, cos you're my honorary baby sister and I need to make sure you stay on the straight and narrow, see?"

"Don't you think I have enough real brothers to take care of that?" I sassed back, annoyed at the way he felt able to boss me around.

"Nope, never enough" he grinned back waggling his eyebrows. I had to return his grin. It was nearly impossible to stay mad at Two-Bit. He dropped us outside the Junior High and then sped off with Pony, beeping the horn.

"I swear he gets crazier every day. " I laughed to Tara.

"Yeah." She raised her eyebrows.


	3. Chapter 3 - In trouble

Chapter 3

**In trouble**

Once we had registered we trudged off to our first class, which was history with Mr Smith. He is nice enough as teachers go, but sooo boring and I find it hard to focus in his class. Finally the bell rang and Tara and I got swept along to our next class by the throng of students in the corridor. English, which is my least favourite subject, with my least favourite teacher; Miss Haswell. Miss Haswell had a problem with greasers, even ones like me, who really didn't cause any trouble. Fortunately we were on time, so she couldn't pick on us for that.

There were 4 other greaser girls in our class apart from Tara and me. We weren't really friends but we got along ok with them. They all hung out as a group and were apparently working on their greaser reps, as they were often getting themselves into trouble for one thing or another. If I did half the stuff they did Darry would skin me.

Caroline, or Caro, was the leader of the group. She already dressed like a greaser chick, with short skirts and shirts unbuttoned down low. She wore as much make-up as she could get away with, but was often being told to wash it off by the teachers. It wasn't really allowed in Junior High. She had an older sister, Beverly, who was 16 and had just had a baby. So, she seemed to be heading the same way. The other girls in the group were similar, but Susie, Melanie and Trish definitely followed Caro's lead.

Today Miss Haswell had it in for Caro. First she told her to get rid of her gum and go wash her make-up off. When she got back from the bathroom Caro made some passing comment to Trish and Miss Haswell made both of them remain standing for the rest of the lesson. I kept my head down as she was obviously on the war path today, but sadly I didn't manage to remain under the radar.

Tara threw a paper wad at my head while Miss Haswell's back was turned, writing on the board. When I opened the note up I couldn't help sniggering as she had done a very apt caricature of Miss Haswell as a witch on a broomstick. Tara was really good at drawing.

"Would you mind sharing with the class what is so amusing Miss Curtis?" Miss Haswell snapped immediately. I swear she had eyes in the back of her head or something.

"Sorry Miss Haswell, it was nothing" I said meekly

"Bring me that piece of paper" she demanded.

Reluctantly I slid my chair back and took her the drawing. I did think about trying to swap the paper for another one, but didn't have time or the appropriate bit of paper. I knew I was in for it. When Miss Haswell saw the picture she went bright red before tearing it in half.

"So you think this is the way to spend your time in English Class Miss Curtis?"

I looked down at the floor. I hated being in trouble and being the focus of the attention of all my fellow students.

"No Miss Haswell, sorry Maam" I mumbled.

"I want you to go and stand outside the classroom and you can come back after school tomorrow for detention to make up your time. Miss Caroline Brook and Miss Patricia Jones will be joining you."

I knew there was no point in arguing with her, but Caro didn't feel the same.

"What?!" she exclaimed "That ain't fair, we did nothing wrong."

I had to admit, she was right about that.

"Ok, Miss Brook, you can go and join Miss Curtis in the hallway now." She pointed to the door.

I shuffled out and Caro stomped out behind me. She was fuming.

"I hate that witch, she has so got it in for me."

I couldn't help giggling at the witch image. Caro looked at me like I was crazy.

"That's what the paper was, a cartoon Tara drew of Miss Haswell as a witch, it was pretty good." I explained and Caro laughed too.

"I wish I could have seen that."

Miss Haswell poked her head around the door. "No talking you two and stand against the wall!" she barked.

Caro rolled her eyes and we both repositioned ourselves with our backs against the wall as Miss Haswell closed the door.

As I thought about the detention and getting Darry to sign the slip tonight I didn't feel remotely like giggling anymore. He was not going to find it at all amusing and was going to be furious with me. I had only had detention once before and that had been nothing to do with me, the whole class got in trouble because no-one would own up to writing cuss words all over the blackboard. Darry had still yelled at me then though, going on about my permanent record and social services. This time he was going to blow his top. I sighed.

"At least we get out of her class." Caro whispered, obviously not bothered about being in trouble.

"Will you get in trouble at home for the detention?" I whispered back.

"Hell no, I get at least one a week. My sister just signs them off for me and my Mom wouldn't care anyway."

"My brother Darry's gonna skin me for sure." I muttered.

"Really? He's that strict? I thought you could get away with anything without your folks around."

I cringed at the reminder of Mom and Dad. They weren't around and they never would be again. Mom would have skinned me too if she had been though.

"Nah, he's always on my case about staying out of trouble and doing good in school. Social services could split us all up if they think he's not doing a good job."

"Man that sucks." Caro said

"Yeah."

"Hey, you and Tara wanna hang out with us at lunch today? We're just hanging out on the bleachers next to the high school football field – that way we can smoke without being seen and we get to check out some of the senior boys who hang out there too."

I shrugged "Sure." I was interested to see what went on with the greasers that hung out there. They were way cooler than me and Tara, so I didn't want to pass up the opportunity of being seen with them, even if I was a bit nervous about it. I knew Tara wouldn't be though. She was tougher than me and not at all shy, so she was good to have around! She made my life more interesting and got me doing much more stuff than I would naturally do. Besides, it was good of Caro to invite us and she seemed nice enough, though I knew I wouldn't want to get on her bad side.

Once the bell finally rang for lunch, Miss Haswell handed us our detention slips to bring back the next day, I shoved mine in my bag, my stomach turning over as I thought about Darry again.

"Hey." Said Tara, who was waiting for me outside the classroom. "Sorry I got you in trouble Bex."

"Don't worry about it, it wasn't your fault." I reassured her. "Miss Haswell was really on the war path today, I'm sure I would eventually have got into trouble for something!"

Tara grimaced "I know, but I should have shown you the picture after class. I know Darry is gonna be mad about your detention."

I groaned "Don't remind me!"

"Ya coming?" Caro called.

Tara looked at me questioningly. "Caro asked if we wanted to join them for lunch on the bleachers, do you wanna?"

I knew she would not pass up the chance to be seen with the in-crowd or to check out the boys. She was much more into boys than me. I was too shy and didn't feel the need for any kind of boyfriend yet. I had got put up a year a couple of grades back so I was a year younger than all my class mates and only just embarking on teenagehood and all it entailed. Tara was really jealous of me always being around the guys in the gang and my brothers. I told her it wasn't as swell as it sounded.


	4. Chapter 4 - Caught out hanging out

Chapter 4

**Caught out hanging out**

We followed on behind Caro and her friends across the Junior High campus and up onto the high school bleachers. There was already a small crowd of high school greasers there. A couple of them called out 'Hi' to Caro and the others, who were obviously regulars there. We sat on the bleachers to the left of the group and Caro and Trish immediately lit up a cigarette. I took out my sandwiches, which Darry had packed for me that morning and took a bite; Peanut butter and jelly again. Still I liked it well enough.

"Can I have one of those?" asked Tara. I was about to hand her a sandwich when I realised she was talking to Trish, sitting next to her, and not to me and she was bumming a cigarette from her. Tara had smoked before, though she didn't do it often, so I wasn't that surprised. Trish offered her the pack and then offered one to me. I hesitated. I had never tried smoking, mostly because Darry and Soda had warned me not to start and threatened me with all sorts of punishments if they ever found out I had. Pony smoked like a chimney of course and they had given up trying to get him to stop, but they hadn't given up on me yet! Still, I was curious and I did want to try. It didn't mean I would then carry on.

Before I changed my mind I took one and held it between my lips as Trish leant forward and lit it for me. I inhaled deeply and coughed and spluttered as the smoke hit my lungs and throat. The group of girls laughed.

"You ain't smoked before have you?" Caro remarked.

I shook my head, going red. I didn't want them to think I was a baby, especially as I was younger than all of them. Tara said gently, "Just inhale more softly and then blow the smoke out." I tried it that way and it was better, but I wasn't sure if I really liked it.

I carried on chatting and smoking then a voice broke into the conversation, which sent a little shiver down my spine.

"Hey Bex, is that you? Are you smoking?!" it was Ponyboy. He had obviously just arrived with Steve and Two-Bit to join the greaser crew. I hadn't even thought they would be here. As far as I knew they usually hung out outside the diner at lunchtime.

"Hey Pony." I tried to sound innocent and held the cigarette down by my side. "I was just holding it for someone else." I jabbered.

Two-Bit laughed out loud and Steve grinned in a sly way. "I saw you with it in your mouth Rebecca." Pony said. I knew he was annoyed with me as he never used my full name otherwise.

"Well, I was just trying it ok? Don't tell Darry or Soda will you?" I pleaded looking at Two-Bit and Steve as well. "You smoke all the time Pony, it ain't fair if you rat on me for this."

"Yeah, but I ain't 12 and I ain't a girl. Don't go copying my bad habits."

"I'm not gonna Pony. I told you, I was just trying it and I'm not sure if I like it much anyway." Although it was starting to grow on me, as it had a strangely soothing effect on my nerves. "You guys aren't gonna tell on me are you?"

Two-Bit ruffled my hair and grinned "Nah Bexster, I ain't gonna tell, but don't let me see you doing it again or I will." He warned.

"I might tell." Steve said nastily. That was just the kind of thing Dally would have said, just to wind me up and keep me on my toes. I shot Steve a daggers look.

"You wouldn't."

"He won't and I won't either." Pony said "but don't do it anymore, ok Bex? It's not a good thing to get into."

The group of girls had been staring on through all of this, surprised at the over-reaction of my brother and his friends.

"Aren't you gonna introduce us?" asked Caro cockily.

"Sure, this is my brother, Ponyboy and this is Two-Bit and Steve. Guys this is Caro, Trish, Susie and Melanie and you already know Tara of course."

"Hey girls" drawled Two-Bit.

Steve looked totally uninterested in a bunch of Junior High girls, but Two-Bit never passed up the opportunity for a bit of fun and flirting with some good looking girls, even though they were far too young for him and he had no intention of taking it any further. Pony just looked uncomfortable and didn't get involved. He certainly wasn't interested in a group of my friends and had no interest in girls much yet in general. He was too focused on his writing and movies and books.

"So are y'all in Bex's class?" Two-Bit asked

"That's right." Said Caro "Ain't you a bit old to be in high school?" She didn't beat about the bush!

"Heck no, I plan to stay at least another year." Two-Bit drawled "Those teachers would miss me too much if I just upped and graduated." He grinned.

"Sure." I muttered rolling my eyes.

"If you're gonna sass me Bexster, I may have to tell Darry about your little habit." He threatened. I knew he was only kidding though and poked my tongue out at him.

"Come over here a minute Becky." Pony called me to one side.

"Yeah?" I looked up at him wondering what he had to say.

"Since when have you been hanging round with these greaser girls?"

"I am a greaser Pone, remember?"

"Yeah, but not like Caro and her little gang. They're trouble, you know that. I think you oughta stay away from them if you know what's good for you."

"It's okay Pony, I know and I ain't itching to get into a heap of trouble and get the state down on our backs, not to mention Darry. Caro's alright really and I ain't really talked to her till today…"

"Yeah well maybe you should steer clear from now on. She's always up to something and you're better than that."

"Thanks for caring Pony, but I'm not stupid. She can't make me do anything I don't want to and I won't let her get me in trouble, ok?"

To be honest I was feeling a bit annoyed that even Pony was now trying to tell me what to do. Did no-one think I was capable of thinking for myself?

"Well, don't say I didn't warn you." Pony retorted.

"I won't!" I snapped back. I went back over to Tara and we gathered up our stuff to head back to class. Lunch was nearly over and I didn't want to get a tardy slip on top of my detention slip!

"See ya later Pony, see ya Two-Bit, Steve."

"Bye Bex" they chorused.

"I'll pick you up outside the gym as usual, don't be late Bexster."Two-Bit yelled after me.

"I won't!"

"Jeez, those guys sure got you on a short leash don't they?" Melanie remarked.

"Yeah, I can't believe what a big deal they made out of you smoking a cigarette, it's not like it was dope or something." Susie remarked.

"Welcome to my life. They're nothing compared to my eldest brother Darry or even Soda, my next eldest. I tell you I can't get away with anything!"

"Well, I think it's kinda nice the way they all look out for you and protect you Bex." Tara pointed out.

"I guess, but it would be nice to have room to breathe occasionally."

"It would drive me insane if my sister was like that." Caro scoffed. "No-one gives a damn what I get up to, which is a good thing as they'd be working overtime trying to keep tabs on me!" she grinned.

I laughed along with the other girls in the group, but I was feeling annoyed and frustrated with my brothers and the gang for making me feel so small and so hemmed in. As much as I did love them all.

The afternoon passed without further incident and I even managed to forget about my impending doom when we had a great gymnastics session in gym class. I love gymnastics and am pretty good at it. I was thinking of trying out for the gymnastics squad next semester.


	5. Chapter 5 - Facing the music

Chapter 5

**Facing the music**

Two-Bit picked up Pony and me and dropped us home. I went straight in and started on my homework, knowing it would be the first thing Darry asked me about when he came through the door. I wanted to get him in as good a mood as possible before asking him to sign the detention slip.

I sailed through my math and science homework, but was making slow progress in English. We had to write a poem about the sea and I had no clue where to start. I threw my pen down in frustration and decided to have a break and see about making something for dinner instead. I knew that would please Darry.

I found some meatballs in the freezer and put them in some warm water to defrost while I made some pasta sauce and put the water on to boil for the spaghetti. Soda and Darry should be back home any time now and they would be very happy to be able to eat as soon as they walked through the door.

"I'm home!" yelled Soda 10 minutes later, slamming the screen door behind him. I heard the familiar thud of his shoes as they went flying, landing somewhere in the living room as he threw them off his feet.

"Hi Soda!" I called back "I'm in the kitchen."

"How was school Bex?" Soda came up behind me to see what I was cooking and gave me a squeeze.

"It was ok," I muttered, not wanting to dwell on that too much.

"Smells good Bex, I'm starving!"

"What a surprise!" I sassed back

"Hey cheeky, I'd watch it if I were you or I may launch a tickle attack!"

"Ok, ok- not while I'm cooking!"

Soda grinned and gave my side one poke, just as a warning. I yelped and dropped the spoon into the sauce.

"Soda!" I groaned.

"Whoops! Sorry Becky." He said sheepishly as I fished the spoon out and wiped it off.

"Hey guys!" said Darry arriving home. "Thanks for cooking Becky, that's such a help. Smells delicious too."

"Hi Darry" I smiled back.

"Did you get your homework done?" he asked, as expected.

"Most of it, I just need to do my English."

"Saved the worst till last, huh?" Darry raised his eyebrows. I shrugged and grinned back.

"Well, you'd better get back onto that after dinner."

"Sure Darry." I sighed.

"Is Pony in his room?"

"Yeah, I think so. Can you tell him dinner's ready? I just need to dish up."

We all sat down to dinner, chatting back and forth about our days.

"I saw Bex at lunchtime today." Pony commented in passing. I glared at him to warn him not to say anything about what he had seen me doing. I don't know why he had to bring it up at all.

"Really? How come?"

"Oh, I was having lunch on the bleachers at the High School with a bunch of friends." I commented innocently.

"Yeah, you know, Beverly Brook's little sister and her friends." Pony said meaningfully.

"Beverly Brook? Ain't she the one who had to quit school to have a baby last semester?" asked Soda

"That's her. Her younger sister Caroline is in Becky's class. She's a lot like her sister…" Pony commented.

I glared at him. I knew he was trying to stir things up for me. He didn't like me hanging around with them so he was trying to get Soda and Darry to back him up.

"Doesn't sound like the sort of girls you normally hang out with Becky, is she a good friend?"

"No, it's no big deal Darry. She's not really a close friend, just someone in my English class. She's not that bad anyway, Pony, you don't have to be so judgemental."

"I ain't being judgemental!" Pony retorted. "She's always in trouble."

Darry looked concerned now. "What kind of trouble?"

"Oh, you know, skipping school, flirting with the wrong kind of guys, wearing too much make-up and not enough clothes, smoking.." Pony glanced right at me at this point and I glared back, "..drinking and so on."

"Becky she sounds like the sort of friend you can do without. Maybe you should avoid having lunch with her again. I don't want you getting dragged down. You're better than that."

"She's not gonna drag me down Darry. I have got a mind of my own you know? I don't just do things because other people do, I do know right from wrong!" I snapped.

"Don't get sassy Rebecca, I know you know right from wrong, but you can sometimes find yourself in the wrong place at the wrong time and things just happen. It sounds like you could get mixed up in all sorts of things if you spend too much time with this Caroline, so I'm advising you to keep your distance."

I looked down at the table, fuming at Pony and at Darry for being so on my case about this. Did none of them trust me?

"Rebecca, did you hear me?" Darry snapped, expecting an answer from me.

"Yes sir" I mumbled.

"Good."

"I'm going to finish my homework." I said putting my plate by the sink and stomping off to my room. I wanted to slam the door, but didn't want Darry to come and yell at me for that too. I still had to broach the subject of the detention and didn't know how to find the right moment. After an hour or so trying to cobble together a nautical poem, I decided it was good enough, or at least it would have to be.

I could hear the tv on in the living room, which meant probably Soda and maybe Pony were watching something. Darry was most likely dealing with bills at the kitchen table. I decided to bite the bullet and go get him to sign the slip. With some trepidation I padded into the kitchen. As I expected, Darry was at the table with piles of post in front of him and a slight frown on his face.

"Darry." I ventured.

He looked up at me. "Yes Becky, is it important? I'm kind of in the middle of stuff here." He sounded tired.

"Erm, I just need you to sign something."

"Hand it over then."

I handed him the slip, secretly hoping he would be too preoccupied to notice what it was and would just absent mindedly sign it, but of course, no such luck.

"A detention slip?!" he exclaimed. "Why the heck have you got a detention Rebecca?" He did not sound happy, to say the least.

"Sorry Darry, it was just a silly thing and Miss Haswell was in a bad mood and out to get any greaser she could, I didn't mean…."

"I don't want to hear your sorry excuses young lady, what was the detention for?" he yelled.

I jumped at the sudden volume and felt tears coming into my eyes. I always cried when people yelled at me, it was a stupid weakness but I couldn't seem to control it.

"I was laughing at a drawing that Tara did and Miss Haswell called me up to show it to her." I stopped there, hoping that I wouldn't need to elaborate about the exact subject of the drawing.

"A drawing? So what was the drawing of exactly?" Darry demanded.

"It was a picture of Miss Haswell as a witch." I mumbled and looked down at the floor.

"You know better than to be disrespectful to your teachers like that young lady." Darry said sternly.

I nodded, but thought how unfair it was that she was allowed to be nasty to us and we couldn't do anything back to her – that just didn't seem right. The tears were rolling down my cheeks by now, I hated being in trouble.

"And there's no use crying, you brought this all on yourself. Consider yourself grounded for the rest of the week. That means you come straight home from school and you stay in your room till dinner, understood?"

I nodded through my tears. "Understood?!" Darry repeated more loudly, expecting a verbal response from me.

"Yes." I said

"I don't want to hear about you getting into any more trouble like this at school. This kind of thing could get back to social services and we can't afford that to happen can we? Any more of this and next time I will skin your behind, you got me?"

I blinked in surprise. He wouldn't really do that would he? He had threatened Pony with it before, but as far as I knew hadn't followed it through. I sure didn't want to put it to the test though. I knew Darry would have a heavy hand and it would also be humiliating.

"Yes Darry." I squeaked and stood waiting in case he hadn't finished.

"Go on, off to bed now, if you've finished that English?"

"Yeah, I have."

"Good, sleep well then Becky."

"Night Darry." I scuttled off to my room. I knew he would be mad, but I didn't think he would threaten to tan my hide. My stomach turned over at the very thought of it. I got ready for bed and was just about to turn my light off when Soda knocked on my door.

"Hey Becky, what was all that about?" He asked

"I got a detention is all." I replied, hoping Soda would agree with me that Darry had been over the top in his response.

"That's not like you Bex." He said sounding disappointed.

That almost made me cry again. I hated to disappoint Soda. I looked down at my hands, feeling ashamed at letting my brothers down.

"Pony just told me you were smoking today, that's not like you either." He said sitting down on my bed.

'Thanks Ponyboy!' I thought. I should have guessed he wouldn't be able to resist telling Sodapop. They told each other everything. At least he hadn't told Darry.

"It was just to try, I won't do it again Soda. Please don't tell Darry."

"I won't Becky, but I'm sorry you did it.

"You smoke sometimes Soda, it can't be so bad."

"That's different, I'm older and I don't often do it. You're too young and it's not a good habit to get into."

"I ain't getting into a habit. I told you Soda, it's the first time I ever tried it, I was just curious."

"Well, curiosity killed the cat! I hope you ain't gonna try it again." He said in his best trying-to-be-stern voice.

"I'm not Soda, I didn't even like it."

"Good. Well, settle down and try and get some sleep now." He said gently stroking my hair and kissing the top of my head.

"Night Soda, I love you."

"Love you too, Bex." He smiled back, shutting the door on his way out.


	6. Chapter 6 - The ban and the plan

Chapter 6

**The ban and the plan**

The next morning I was rudely awakened in typical Soda fashion with him jumping on top of me and jabbing his fingers in my sides, my most sensitive tickle spots. I yelped and started squeaking and laughing. "Stop Soda, stop! I'm awake!" He carried on mercilessly until I warned him I had to pee and he knew he'd better let me up.

"Honestly Soda, I hope you don't treat Sarah like this, it's now how a girl wants to wake up in the morning you know." I jumped out of bed now he had released me and ran to relieve myself before hopping in the shower, leaving Soda laughing.

Once I was dressed I ventured into the kitchen, not sure if Darry would still be mad at me about the detention or not.

"Morning Darry." I said sitting at the table.

"Morning Becky, did you sleep ok?"

"Yeah, not bad, until Soda attacked me this morning."

Darry laughed, knowing Soda's usual tactics for getting me up.

"Well, maybe you ought to get an alarm clock and get up before he has the chance to come in and torture you." He suggested.

"Yeah, maybe. Uhh, Darry, did you sign that slip?" His face dropped remembering the trouble I got into the day before.

"Yeah, it's here on the side." He said gruffly.

"Erm…will somebody be able to pick me up after? I won't be finished till about 4.30."

"I'll ask Two-Bit if he can hang around or maybe Soda will have finished his shift by then, we'll work something out."

"Sorry to cause so much trouble Dar." I _was_ sorry. I hadn't meant to get in trouble and I didn't want to be a burden to my brothers, who already did so much and worked so hard. Darry just nodded.

Soda came in and plopped down on the chair next to me, grabbing some bacon and scooping a heap of scrambled eggs onto his plate. I did the same.

"Hey, Soda, did you ask Sarah yet about the dance on Friday?" I asked him. Before Sodapop could answer Darry jumped in.

"There ain't no need for him to go now is there Becky? Cos you ain't going, you're grounded remember?"

My mouth dropped open. I couldn't believe that Darry was not letting me go to the dance. I never went out and he knew how much I had been looking forward to it. I really hadn't expected that to be part of my grounding.

"But Darry, that's not fair!" I squeaked in outrage.

"I told you, you're grounded for a week and that means till Sunday, which includes Friday, so I'm afraid you'll be missing out on the dance this time round."

I felt so angry I was scared to speak in case I said something I would regret. Instead, I jumped up from the table and stomped off to my room slamming the door behind me.

"Less of the attitude!" I heard Darry shout after me. I could hear Soda talking to Darry and hoped he was trying to persuade him to change his mind. I paced around my room, throwing a hairbrush down on the dresser and kicking the dirty clothes on my floor. I was so disappointed and thought Darry was being completely unreasonable. All this over one detention?! He was crazy. Mom and Dad wouldn't have overreacted like this, I bet. Well, maybe Mom would have but Dad would probably have talked her round to changing her mind. How I wished they were here. Tears welled up in my eyes at the thought of them and at the injustice of it all. I longed to just have them back with me.

Eventually, I wiped my eyes, grabbed my bag and huffed out to the porch to wait for my ride. Ponyboy wandered out to the porch after me.

"What's up Bex?" he asked, oblivious to what had gone on earlier that morning between Darry and me.

"Just Darry being a jerk as usual." I retorted sharply. "Just cos I got a detention yesterday he's grounded me and won't let me go to the dance on Friday."

"There'll be other dances." Pony said glibly. I jumped up angrily.

"You don't get it! I never go out or do anything cos I'm the 'baby'. I finally got Darry to agree to me going somewhere and now it's been snatched away from me. It's all so unfair. I hate Darry!"

"You don't hate him, you're just mad at him. Sorry you can't go to your dance. Just try not to get into any more trouble at school and Darry will let you go to the next one." Pony said, trying to make me feel better, but it didn't work.

Two-Bit pulled up in his car, late as usual.

"Hop in you two, we'd better get going." He yelled

"Bye Soda, bye Darry!" Ponyboy shouted.

"Bye Soda!" I called, pointedly refusing to say goodbye to Darry. I was really mad at him and wanted him to know it. I knew it was water off a duck's back though. Darry and Soda both called out goodbye and we sped off with Two-bit.

"I can't believe what an ass Darry is being." I grumbled to Tara.

Two-Bit raised his eyebrows and I could tell he was curious to know what had got me so hacked off.

"Why, what's he done now?" asked Tara

"He's said I can't go to the dance since I'm grounded because of that detention I got."

"No way! That sucks."

"You got a detention Bexster? Well, that's gotta be a first." Two-bit remarked.

"Shutup Two-bit! It ain't a joke and actually, this is not my first detention, I had one before." I snapped back, proving Two-Bit's point without meaning to.

"Well, that told me." Two-Bit joked in mock offense and Pony laughed.

"Let's talk about it later." Tara said to me in a low voice. "I have an idea."

"What are you two whispering about?" Two-bit wanted to know.

"Nothing, are you still going to the dance if you ain't got to spy on Bex anymore?" Tara asked him.

"Nah, I think I'll probably hang out with the guys if I've lost my bodyguard job for the night."

I just huffed. I was really cranky and it was gonna take a lot to get me out of my mood. Two-bit dropped us off and we raced to our first class, which was math, to avoid being late. At recess Tara brought up the subject of the dance again.

"I think there's a way you can still go to the dance Bex."

"What do you mean? I can't go, Darry will be in on Friday night and he won't let me out anyway cos I'm grounded."

"But, if you just fake a headache and go to bed early you can easily sneak out your window. You can run over to my place and get dolled up there, then just sneak back in your window after the dance. Darry ain't gonna check on you is he?"

I shrugged, mulling the idea over. It could work, but was it worth the risk of getting caught?

"I s'pose I could put a pillow or something in my bed, so if he does look in he'll think I'm there…it could work, but if he finds out, I'm dead!"

"Well, we'll have to make sure he doesn't find out, won't we?"

My mood was finally lifting. I could still go to the dance and stuff Darry's stupid punishment! That would show him.


	7. Chapter 7 - The dance

Chapter 7

**The dance**

On Friday night after dinner all the gang was there hanging out as usual. I had started working on my deception as soon as I got in from school, feigning a headache and going to lie down. In fact, I was actually packing my dance clothes and opening my window, ready for a quick exit later. So at about 7.00 I told Darry I was still feeling rough and so was going to bed. He looked concerned and put his hand on my forehead.

"Do you have a fever?"

I shook my head "No, just tired and my head aches."

"Ok Baby, sleep is probably the best thing. I hope you feel better, come and get me if you need anything."

"Ok". Why did he have to be so nice to me? Now I felt awful lying to him when he was being so caring. I really wanted to go to the dance, but now I was almost about to change my mind as it felt wrong to be going behind Darry's back. Then I thought about Tara waiting for me and the excitement of going to my first dance and my desire to go out and have fun won over my guilt. I went to the bathroom and brushed my teeth and carried out my normal bedtime routine before shouting a 'goodnight' to the guys in the living room.

Once in my room I stuffed a couple of pillows down the middle of my bed and squished them around a bit so they looked person shaped. I often slept with my head right under the covers, so they were used to just seeing a lump in the bed and no sign of human life protruding. I threw my backpack out the window and quietly jumped out after it. I left through the hole in the fence at the back of the house and ran the 2 blocks to Tara's house. She opened the door excitedly.

"Bex! You made it. Did Darry suspect anything?"

"No, he thinks I'm sick and went to bed early."

"Great! Let's get ready."

We went into Tara's room and I put on the dress I had. It was green with polka dots and I put on some black pumps with it, my only shoes other than my sneakers. Tara had on a short red dress with some black heels she had inherited from her sister. She looked a lot more grown up than I did. Tara offered to do my hair and make-up and I let her, as I have no idea about these things. She put my hair up in a high pony tail and then proceeded to smear my face with all sorts of creams and lotions! When she had finished I looked in the mirror and barely recognised my face. I looked older and even quite pretty, though I probably would have put a bit less make-up on if I was doing it. Tara did herself up and then we were ready to go.

Her sister Samantha had arranged a lift for us all with her boyfriend Todd. When we got there Sam told us to behave, not to drink the punch as it was bound to be spiked and not to leave the building without her. We agreed and then went our separate ways. The Kinks 'You really got me' was playing in the school hall, which was decorated in gold and purple balloons, the school colours.

"Let's dance!" I shouted to Tara over the music. She grinned at me and we got straight onto the dance floor. We stayed there for a good 30 minutes dancing non-stop until a slow song came on and we went to find a drink. I downed 3 glasses of lemonade I was so thirsty and Tara tried some of the punch, despite her sister's warning.

"Tara!" I warned her.

"What? It tastes fine to me, I don't think it is spiked. So…" she said changing the subject. "spot any talent worth dancing with?" Her eyes surveyed the room. "Look, there's Ben Hanson, he's that big football star, quite a catch so I've heard. I can see why, he's so hot!"

I looked over at the boy she was pointing out. He was tall, broad and blonde with bright blue eyes. I shrugged.

"He's not really my type, if I have a type. I prefer dark and lean."

"What about his friend then, that one next to him?"

Next to Ben stood a tall boy with short dark hair and grey/blue eyes. He was not as stocky as his friend but not a string-bean either. 'Yes', I thought, 'he's more like it!'

"Yeah, not bad. Anyway, we are out of their league Tara. They are not going to even notice 2 junior high girls when they can probably have their pick of any of the senior girls! Besides, I came here to dance, not to slobber over boys. Come on, this is a good one."

'The Twist' had come on and Tara followed me back to the dance floor. Before we knew it the last song was being announced and it was 10.30! The melody of 'Love me Tender', Elvis of course, flooded into the hall, the perfect end to a perfect evening I thought to myself as I made my way back to the chairs at the edge. I felt a tap on my shoulder and turned round to see the tall, dark sophomore that Tara and I had been discussing earlier on.

"Hi, do you wanna dance?" he asked. My heart was pounding and I couldn't believe he was actually asking me out of all the girls there to dance with him. I swallowed nervously and stammered out

"Er, yeah, thanks." As he took me by the hand and lead me back to the dance floor, He pulled me into him and put one hand round my shoulder and the other round my waist as we swayed to the music. It felt nice to be held like that and I closed my eyes, resting my head against his chest and enjoying the moment.

"I'm Matt" he said quietly into my ear.

"Hi, I'm Becky."

"Are you at the high school? I haven't seen you around before."

"No, I'm still in junior high."

"Really? How old are you?"

My heart sank as I thought how he would change his mind about dancing with me when he found out I was so much younger.

"I'm 12, but I graduate next year as I got put up a grade."

"Oh, so you're smart _and_ pretty."

I blushed, it was corny, but it was nice to have a boy like me and tell me I was pretty, especially one like him.

"So, how old are you Matt?"

"I'm 15"

"You might know my brother Ponyboy then? I think he's in the same grade as you?"

"Yeah, I know Ponyboy, he's smart too and quiet. He's in my English class. So you're a Curtis?"

"Uh huh." I agreed, wondering if he thought that was a good or a bad thing. "Listen, don't mention to my brother about seeing me here will ya? I wasn't meant to come cos I'm grounded. I sneaked out of my bedroom window, so my brothers think I'm tucked up in bed."

Matt laughed softly "Oh, so you're smart, pretty and rebellious!"

"I guess." I laughed

"Don't worry, I won't mention it to Ponyboy, your secret's safe with me, as long as you promise to meet me for lunch one day next week. I can take you to the diner for a coke and we can talk some more. I'd like to get to know you better."

"Really?!" I was surprised.

"Yeah, really, so how about it?"

"Ok, why don't you pick me up on Monday, 12.30 outside the gym?

"It's a date."

I blushed and smiled. The song finished and we moved apart, but he still held onto my hand.

"It was a pleasure to meet you Becky." He kissed my hand.

"And you." I blushed "see you on Monday.." I smiled as he walked off. My hear t was thumping and I was on a high. I couldn't believe that I had a 'sort of' date with Matt on Monday. He was really cute and seemed like a real gentleman. I was starting to see the attraction of boys now! Tara came up to me grinning from ear to ear.

"I can't believe Matt Carter asked you for a dance! He is sooo hot, do you like him?"

"Yeah, I think so." I grinned back. "He seems a really sweet guy. I'm meeting him for lunch on Monday at school."

"Becky Curtis, you have a date?! You who tells me you are not interested in boys have a date with one of the hottest guys in the high school!"

"It's not really a date, he's just taking me out for lunch so we can talk some more."

Tara raised her eyebrows "That is a date in my book and I bet there won't just be talking!"

My stomach flipped with fear and excitement. Did I want there to be more? What would it be like to kiss Matt? I wouldn't mind finding out.

Tara snapped me out of my daydream. "Come on lover girl, we gotta go and meet Sam and Todd at the entrance."

"Stop it!" I admonished her for her teasing. Tara and I whispered in the back of the car all the way home. Tara quizzing me about every detail of our conversation and where he put his hands.


	8. Chapter 8 - Facing the consequences

**_I hope this doesn't offend anyone. I figured this kind of thing was more normal in the 60s and it's hopefully not too much!_**

Chapter 8

**Facing the consequences**

They dropped me off at the back of my place so I could go back in the same way I came out. It was 11.00 and I thought my brothers must already be in bed as it looked quiet and dark, but when I went to my bedroom window I found it closed.

"Damn!" I thought, Darry must have shut it when he went to bed. I still didn't think I was found out, but I always was the optimist! I quietly crept around to the front of the house and my heart sank as I saw the living room lights were still on. I crept up the porch steps and could see Darry and Soda both still up. Darry was sitting in Dad's old chair and Soda stretched out on the sofa, both apparently watching something on tv.

I hesitated. What should I do? Did they know I had been out, so had shut the window to catch me coming in, or did they think I was tucked up safely in bed and they just hadn't turned in yet? As soon as I walked through that door they would know, if they didn't already, that I had been out. Worse I was still in my dance clothes and smothered in make-up, so I couldn't even make up some story and claim I had just been for a walk or something. I was debating whether to wait for Darry and Soda to go off to bed or try and find another open window, when my foot stepped on the creaky board on the porch. Immediately Darry looked up and was on his feet. He had seen me so now I had no choice but to go in and face the music.

My stomach churning and my heart pounding I pushed the door open to face a fuming Darry. His face was pinched with anger and his eyes were burning.

"Rebecca Grace Curtis, you have some explaining to do, where the heck have you been?!" he yelled.

I trembled and looked down at my feet, biting my lip nervously. I didn't know how to answer. I knew I was in deep trouble and couldn't see a way to make it any better.

"Answer me!" Darry demanded, coming over to me and grabbing my chin to pull my eyes up to meet his. By now tears were forming in my eyes.

"I'm sorry." I stammered. "I'm sorry Darry, I went to the dance."

Darry let go of my chin and started pacing as he always did when he was angry. I glanced over at Soda who was still sitting on the sofa, but watching intently in case he had to intervene. He gave me a disappointed look and that made the tears really start to flow. Darry started ranting then.

"You went to the dance after I explicitly told you you were not allowed to go? You were grounded!"

I shook as his voice grew louder and he pointed his finger at me.

"I can't believe you lied to my face about being sick and then sneaked out of your window and tried to fool us with pillows in your bed! Did you really think we wouldn't realise you were gone? I came in to check on you because you were unwell and found you gone. How do you think that made me feel? Huh?"

I shook my head, did he want an answer or was he still ranting?

"What if something had happened to you Becky?" Soda said more softly. "We didn't know where you were or who you were with. You really scared us, you had us so worried."

I knew they were right. I knew they had every reason to be furious with me, but that didn't make me feel any less miserable at all the yelling and admonishments.

"Do you have anything at all to say for yourself young lady?" Darry demanded

I shook my head. "Just, I'm sorry Darry, Soda. I didn't think about how worried you'd be, I just wanted to go to the dance, that's all."

Darry let out an angry grunt of frustration. "I can't talk to you anymore this evening Rebecca, I'm too angry. I can't even bear to look at you. Go to bed and we will discuss your punishment in the morning."

I went quickly without making eye contact with either of my brothers and threw myself down on my bed sobbing. What an awful end to a wonderful evening. I knew I was to blame and deep down I had known that I would probably get found out, but I hadn't wanted to think about the consequences there would be. I was just desperate to go to the dance and be grown up for once. I cried myself to sleep while listening to Darry and Soda's murmuring voices in the living room. I imagined Sodapop trying to calm things down and maybe put forward my side of things. At least I hoped so.

Surprisingly, I slept quite well. All that crying must have worn me out. I woke and glanced at the clock, 9.00. It was Saturday so only Soda had to be up for work and Darry wasn't working today as his current job had finished early. My stomach turned over as I remembered getting caught last night and how angry Darry had been. I wasn't sure if I was even allowed to go out of my room, as Darry had sent me in there last night. Maybe he wanted me to wait for him to come and get me? After a few minutes the decision was made for me as I really needed to use the bathroom. So I ventured out of my room and along to the bathroom. I thought while I was there I may as well take a shower, then at least Darry couldn't be mad at me for staying in bed too long on top of everything else.

I went back to my room and was in a quandary again once I was dressed. Should I go have breakfast or wait to be fetched? I could hear Darry (I knew it would be him not Ponyboy, as he always slept as late as he could at the weekend) in the kitchen and decided to be brave and face him. I padded out to the kitchen in my bare feet and coughed so that Darry knew I was there.

"Morning Darry." I said quietly. Darry turned to face me and I could see he was still furious with me about the night before, no surprise there. His face was stern, his lips were pinched and he stared at me coldly.

"Go to your room and wait for me there." He commanded. An icy chill went down my spine. 'Wait for me there'? Wait for what? I remembered Daddy saying that to Soda on several occasions and it was never a good thing. I swallowed and whispered.

"Ok Darry."

I trudged back to my room, my legs feeling like lead. I was so nervous about what Darry was going to do that I could not sit still. I paced up and down then tried to sit on my bed, but my knees were jiggling and my fingers were drumming. After what seemed like and eternity Darry finally knocked on my door.

"Come in." I said, my voice shaking. My eyes met his and then I had to look down. I hated to see him look at me so coldly. He shut the door behind him.

"We need to talk about last night." He said bluntly. "I cannot tell you how disappointed I am that you not only wilfully disobeyed me by going out when you were grounded, you also purposely tried to deceive me by pretending to be sick and by putting pillows in your bed so we'd think you were still there. Not only that, but you put yourself in danger going off by yourself at night. Anything could have happened to you and if it had we wouldn't have known where to look because we didn't know where you were. I can't believe that you would behave so thoughtlessly and irresponsibly. Do you care so little about what I say?" he yelled the last question. I shook my head wordlessly.

"What?!"

"No, Darry, I do care about what you say."

"So, why did you go against what I said and go to the dance? How can I ever trust you again?"

"I'm sorry, I won't do anything like this again, I promise. I was just so mad at you for grounding me and stopping me going to the dance. I wanted to feel grown up for once and go out like you guys all do."

"Yeah, well you obviously still have a lot of growing up to do if this is how you behave and you still have an awful lot to learn before you can call yourself grown up. I am going to teach you a lesson so you won't think to do anything like this ever again." He sat down on the bed next to me and I had a horrible feeling what was coming next.

"Believe me, I don't like having to do this Rebecca, but you leave me no choice. I tried just talking to you and grounding you, but it didn't seem to get through, well maybe this will."

"No, Darry. Please don't. I promise I have learnt my lesson, please."

"It's what Dad would have done Becky, he did it many times to me and to Soda and once to Pony even. Now, lay across my lap." He said gruffly.

I couldn't believe this was happening. I never thought Darry would really do this. Maybe I did deserve it, but he was my brother, not my Dad, it just felt humiliating. I know part of his job was to punish me when I did wrong, but I couldn't bear this.

"Don't do this Darry." I pleaded with tears rolling down my cheeks. "I'm too old for this anyway." I tried.

"No you're not, last time Dad did this to me, I was 16. Come on Becky, either you lie across my lap yourself or I'll drag you there."

Reluctantly I crawled across his legs and pushed my face into the bed. I braced myself, but was still shocked to feel a hard swat on my backside.

"Ow!" I yelped, instinctively moving my hand to cover myself there. Darry pushed it back down then brought his hand down again. I yelped a second time, boy he sure could hit hard. I didn't know how many hits I could take. His hand came down 10 more times, by which time I was sobbing and my butt was stinging like crazy.

"You disobey me or lie to me again Rebecca and you will get more of the same." Darry warned. He pushed me back of his lap and I just lay there face down, bawling. He rubbed my back and I jerked away from him. I was too angry with him for what he'd just done to take any comfort from him right then.

"I hope I don't ever have to do that again, I really do, but I will if I have to, if it's what it takes to keep you safe and to teach you right from wrong, like Mom and Dad would have wanted. Now, let's move on from this kiddo. You are grounded for another week and let that be and end of it."

I didn't answer him and he sighed before leaving the room and closing the door behind him. I cried straight out for another 10 minutes until all my tears were gone. I rolled over and sat on my bed, wincing at the pain in my butt. He really hurt me. I just didn't know how to feel about what just happened. Darry was my brother, but he was my guardian too and I did have to follow his rules. He was doing things the way Dad had done them, so what else could I expect? I had blatantly disobeyed him and had lied to him, so he had a right to be angry and to punish me. I knew if I wanted to stay in this house and not go to some kids' home I had to accept his authority. But, I hated every minute of him spanking me, it just felt so wrong. I couldn't stay mad at him forever if I was gonna stay in this family though, so I had to suck it up and take it like a greaser girl. From now on I was gonna do as I was told, cos I sure didn't want to ever go through that again! Darry knocked on my door again. I tensed up, what now?

"Breakfast Becky." He called gently.

I thought about just ignoring him or refusing to go, but I wanted all the bad feeling to be gone. I wanted to be on good terms with Darry again, as good as we could be. So, I got up and went to the kitchen. I noticed Darry had put a cushion on my chair to make me less uncomfortable. I looked up and caught his eye, he smiled softly at me.

"I know it hurts, the cushion may help a bit." He said gently.

"What's wrong with your butt?" Pony laughed coming in at the end of the conversation and being totally oblivious to what had just gone on. How he slept through the yelling, the spanking and the crying I will never know. I blushed at Pony's question, not quite knowing how to answer. Darry answered for me.

"Becky got in trouble last night and I had to punish her, that's all you need to know."

Pony looked at me with wide eyes, then back at Darry. "You spanked her?!" he asked.

I grew even redder and looked down at my plate.

"I just did what Dad would have done. Now can we drop the subject and have some breakfast?"

Pony nodded slowly, though I could tell he was thinking hard. He, like me, had never thought Darry would actually follow through with his threats to tan his hide, but now he had to think again and it made him nervous. We ate breakfast practically in silence despite Darry's efforts to introduce some normal conversation.

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_**Thank you so much to the 3 people who have reviewed and for those who are following the story. I hope you like it and hope to keep going with it a bit longer.**_


	9. Chapter 9 - Confined and embarrassed

Chapter 9

**Confined and embarrassed**

I spent most of the day in my room reading, doing a bit of homework (on Darry's orders) and killing time, as I wasn't allowed out. A few times I found my mind wandering to my dance with Matt and I couldn't keep the smile off my face as I remembered how sweet he had been and as I thought about our lunch date on Monday. I couldn't decide if I was more nervous or excited.

When Soda came back from work early afternoon Darry obviously told him what had happened that morning and how he had punished me. I knew Soda would not be sure that it was the right thing for Darry to do, but I also knew he would back Darry up, as he always did. I heard him and Darry talking in the living room and then Soda came and knocked on my door then pushed it open without waiting for an answer, as per usual!

"Hi Bex, how are you doing?" he asked gently.

"Ok." I said looking up from my math book.

"Darry told me that he…you know….that he gave you a whooping this morning."

I nodded and my cheeks flushed red again at the memory of it.

"Sorry Bex, I guess he just didn't know what else to do. You have been pushing the boundaries a lot lately and I guess he felt the need to reinforce them a bit." He paused and said anxiously. "He didn't hurt ya too bad did he?"

"Well, I guess it could have been worse. He only used his hand. It's pretty sore though." I answered trying to be conciliatory to Soda, fair to Darry and honest at the same time.

"I know." He grinned. "I still remember what it felt like the times Dad did it to me. I guess it worked though, look how great I turned out." He grinned trying to lighten the mood. I couldn't help but grin back. Soda was always so sweet and caring. I was lucky to have a brother like him.

"I guess I oughta get on with this math or Darry won't be happy. He wants to check it over when I'm done."

"Well just ask if ya need any help." He quipped and I laughed, knowing how much Soda had hated math when he was at school.

"Sure thing!" I answered as Soda went back to the living room.

After I finished my math I handed it to Darry and then went out onto the porch to have a break. I was going stir crazy in my room all day and would have loved to just go for a walk or go visit Tara, but of course I wasn't allowed. Pony was outside having a cigarette.

"Hey Pony."

"Hey Bex, how's your confinement going so far?"

"It stinks. I'm going crazy being cooped up here all day."

"So, how was the dance?" he asked. I blushed at my rebellious behaviour the night before.

"Well, it was really good actually, but I won't be doing that again in a hurry, not without Darry's permission."

"He really gave you a whooping huh? I thought it was all threats."

"I guess you never did anything bad enough to make him do it to you. Last night I guess I did."

"Sorry Bex, it must have been awful."

"Pretty bad, yeah, but I guess I did deserve it. I made him and Soda really scared running off like that and I knew it was the wrong thing to do."

"Sounds like you've forgiven Darry then? I don't know if I could forgive him that quick if he did that to me."

I shrugged. I loved Darry and I wasn't going to let this spoil our relationship by holding a grudge against him. It was pointless anyway as he was in charge and could run things how he wanted. Sure, I had been angry when he did it, but I had to put it behind me now. I know he did it for the right reasons, not out of spite or because he wanted to hurt me.

"So, who'd you dance with?" Pony asked.

"Oh, mostly Tara." I debated whether to mention Matt or not but could not stop myself from telling somebody. "and I had one dance with a guy in your grade…Matt Carter."

"You danced with Matt Carter?"

"Yeah, he asked me to dance with him the last dance of the evening. He seemed like a sweet guy."

"I guess he's ok for a soc. "Pony said, damning him with faint praise. "He didn't try and touch you or anything did he?" Pony asked, suddenly going all protective brother on me.

"Nah, I told you he was sweet." I decided I wouldn't tell him about our lunch date, as Pony didn't seem so keen on me fraternising with a 'soc'. I didn't see Matt that way though. He obviously didn't have a problem with greasers or he wouldn't be trying to spend time with me, would he?

"Well good. You're too young to be hanging out with 15 year old boys anyhow."

"Says who?"

"Says me and I'm sure Darry and Soda would agree."

"Agree with what?" asked Soda as he came out of the screen door onto the porch.

"Nothing." I said shooting Pony a warning look, which he chose to ignore in true Pony style and just went right on.

"That Becky is too young to be hanging around with sophomore boys."

"Too right!" Soda replied emphatically. "Why, who you been spending time with?" he eyed me suspiciously.

"No-one." I snapped back, but Pony was on a roll and felt the need to share all the details with Soda.

"She was dancing with some soc in my grade last night, Matt Carter."

"It was just a dance." I said in my defence.

"Did he try it on with you Becky?" Soda asked seriously.

"No, he was a perfect gentleman, don't worry."

"See, that's another reason you shouldn't have gone off to the dance like you did. There was no-one there to chaperone you like there shoulda been. If I'd been there I coulda made sure that Soc didn't get anywhere near you."

I was getting angry now. Why were they so down on Matt, just cos he's a Soc? It was just a dance and that was all, why did Soda and Pony have to be so negative about it all?

"Yeah, well then I'm glad you weren't there." I snapped back in annoyance.

Soda looked at me angrily "Rebecca!" he warned. He rarely used my full name, so I knew I had made him mad.

"Sorry." I muttered. "but it was only one dance, that's all."

"You're much too young to be thinking about boys and all that." Soda stated.

"I'm not 'thinking about boys'. I just had a nice dance with a sweet guy who asked me, that's all."

"So now he's a sweet guy?" Soda raised his eyebrows.

I rolled my eyes. I knew I couldn't expect to have a reasonable conversation about this with any of my older brothers. They were blinded by their primal urge to protect their baby sister! Never mind the fact that I am not a baby anymore and I am growing up.

"Never mind." I dismissed the subject.

"Well I guess as he's in High School and you're still in Junior High you won't be seeing him again anyway." Soda said with some satisfaction.

I didn't reply. Pony looked at me suspiciously. I'm sure he suspected that there was something more to it, but he didn't probe this time.

"Can I have a drag of your cigarette?" I asked Pony. I was only joking because I knew neither Soda or Pony would let me of course, but it was a good distraction!

"No!" Pony and Soda both answered together.

I laughed. "Only kidding." I reassured them.

Soda slapped me gently up the side of my head. "Not funny!" he said, but he was smiling.

"Ow!" I complained.

"Serves you right." Soda laughed.

"Becky!" Darry called from inside. I went back in and Darry handed me back my math book.

"Not bad, you got 3 wrong. I've circled them, go and re-do them then show me again."

"Ok Darry." I said wearily. I went to my room and quickly redid the sums then brought the book back to Darry, who looked them over and smiled.

"Much better." He said. "Do you have any other homework?" I shook my head. "Ok well why don't you go and tidy your room up a bit?" Darry suggested.

"Darry!" I whined. "I've been in there all day, do I have to?"

"Yeah, you do and maybe while you're in there you can spend some time thinking about why."

I resisted the temptation to roll my eyes at Darry then and stomped off to my room. I picked up all my dirty laundry and put it in the basket, then stacked my books, which were strewn all over the floor. I even gave my dresser a dust, but I had done everything I could think of by then. I went back out into the living room.

Steve and Two-Bit were there now and were playing Poker along with Pony and Soda. Darry was reading the newspaper in Dad's armchair. I sidled in and sat on the couch, hoping Darry would not take any notice of me. I watched the boys playing Poker and laughed at their silly antics, trying to cheat and look at each other's cards. I laughed out loud as I saw Two-Bit trying to get a card out of his sock without anyone noticing, but being totally obvious about it.

"Er, Rebecca." Darry spoke, finally noticing my presence. "What are you doing out here?"

I looked at Darry with surprise. I had almost forgotten for a moment that I wasn't meant to be out here.

"I finished tidying my room." I said as I felt everyone's eyes on me. Two-Bit and Steve didn't know what had gone on the night before or that morning. They were obviously wondering why I was being confined to my room.

"What ya been up to this time Bexster?" Two-Bit grinned. "Stealing hubcaps?" he cackled at his own joke. I rolled my eyes and stuck my tongue out at him.

"Go on." Darry said, ignoring Two-Bit's question. "Back in your room, I'll call you when it's dinner time."

"Can't I help make dinner?" I offered. "I don't have anything to do in my room, I'm so bored." I whined.

"Well, you shoulda thought of that before sneaking out last night. You had enough fun at the dance to make up for a week in your room hopefully."

"The kid's sneaking out to meet up with boys already." Steve sneered. I blushed, thinking he was more right than he knew.

"Shut up Steve!" Darry snapped.

"Count yourself lucky Bexster." Two-Bit said to me. "If I'd sneaked out when I was your age I wouldn't have been able to sit down for a week." Soda and Pony looked at each other, then at me and I blushed even redder. Two-Bit noticed the strange reaction of Soda and Pony and my red face, then his jaw dropped as he realised I had received a whooping after all.

"No kidding!" he commented "Darry skinned your butt hey?"

"Two-bit, one more word and I will throw you out." Darry warned in a menacing tone.

I almost felt like crying with the shame of Two-Bit and Steve knowing I got a whooping and I was actually happy to get out of there, away from everyone, and back to my room. I heard Two-bit cackling in my wake. I lay on my bed and with nothing better to do I actually fell asleep and was woken by Ponyboy calling me to dinner.

I cautiously emerged from my room fervently praying that Steve and Two-bit would have left by now, but no such luck. Both of them were sitting at the table tucking into the chicken and rice that Darry had made.

"C'mon Becky, we called you 10 times, the food is getting cold." Darry complained.

"Sorry." I muttered "I fell asleep, there was nothing else to do."

Darry just raised his eyebrows at me, daring me to even think about whining about being grounded. I quickly looked away, saying nothing and dished myself up some chicken and rice. I noticed Two-bit grinning at me amidst all the usual rowdy chatter between all the guys. I glared at him. He seemed to think it was funny that Darry had spanked me. I didn't see the joke myself.

"Don't be so embarrassed Bexster. When I was your age I had to spend half my life standing up my butt was so blistered." His comment actually did make me feel slightly better, though I didn't need him to bring the subject up again. It was good to know that I was not the only one who had been punished that way. Steve, Pony and Soda laughed at Two-bit's comment. Darry just looked at me with sympathetic eyes. I knew he thought he had done the right thing by spanking me, but I also knew he hadn't done it in order to embarrass me in front of the whole gang and that he hadn't intended for everyone to tease me about it.

"Alright, that's enough you guys. End of subject. Anyone mentions it again and they get kicked out."

"Does that include me?" sassed Pony, who obviously quite liked the idea of being allowed out for the evening.

"….or sent to their room." Darry added glaring at Pony.

Pony just grinned and looked down at his plate.

"I'm outta here anyway." Said Steve who had finished eating. "Evie's meeting me at the Dingo, ya comin' Soda?"

"Is that alright Dar?" he asked

"I guess so, but make sure you're back by 12.00."

"Sure thing!" Soda grinned. "Let's go pick up Sarah on the way." He said to Steve, slapping him on the back.

"I gotta split too." Two-bit stood up. "My ma's gotta work tonight and I have to babysit Karen. Thanks for dinner Dar."

Darry nodded "Any time Two-bit, you know that."

Pony looked fed up, he would have liked to join Soda and Steve, but knew with the 2 girls involved that he would not be welcome. Since Johnny and Dally died he was spending more and more time at home, but not by choice. He needed to meet a girl or find some other guys to buddy around with. I was used to always being home, even when I wasn't grounded. Darry never let me go out in the evenings, saying it was too dangerous and I was too young. He did occasionally let me go out with Soda or Pony to the movies or go hang out at Tara's house with her.

I finished up eating and was about to traipse back to my room when Darry called me back.

"Not so fast little lady, you can do up the dishes."

"What? That ain't fair, it's Soda's turn."

"Yeah, well Soda ain't here and you were just complaining about being bored so it will give you something to do won't it?"

I glared at Darry before stomping to the sink and starting in on the dishes. Pony must have felt sorry for me because he offered to dry. I smiled gratefully at him. Once the dishes were done I thought I may as well get ready for bed as I wasn't allowed to watch tv or do anything else except stay in my room and read and I had read all the books in my room already after all the hours I spent in there this weekend.

"Night!" I called as I went into my room and shut the door. I was actually pretty tired and I slept deeply not waking up till Darry hollered that breakfast was ready at 10.00 the next morning.

That Sunday was the slowest on record! I had to stay in my room and was beside myself with boredom. Darry sure knew how to make a punishment hurt. I knew other people who had been grounded but they could still be out of their rooms and watch tv even. But, not so with Darry. He was real strict about making it as unfun as possible and believe me it was!

I was glad when it was finally evening and I could go to bed again. At least I had school tomorrow and I had almost forgotten, of course tomorrow was my lunch date with Matt. I felt a frisson of excitement as I remembered. I went to sleep with a big smile on my face.


	10. Chapter 10 - Lunch date

Chapter 10

**Lunch date**

Having gone to bed early the night before I woke up at 6.00 on Monday morning. I showered and dressed and was in the kitchen starting to make scrambled eggs and bacon by the time Darry got up.

"You're up bright and early this morning." He remarked. "Normally we have to prise you out of bed!"

I smiled "I just woke up early, so I thought I'd get up, not be in a rush for once."

"Aaaaah!" Darry sighed wistfully, "If only you could think like that every morning."

"Do you wanna make the coffee Dar, I'm not very good at that."

"Sure Bex." Soda came out of the bathroom wrapped in a towel and Darry called out to him "Soda! Make sure Pony is up will ya. Tell him to get a move on or he'll miss out on breakfast."

"Sure!" said Soda rushing into his and Pony's room.

"You look very nice today." Darry remarked. I was wearing my newest pair of capri pants, which were navy blue and a pale blue shirt, tied at the waist. I had done my hair in 2 braids. I wanted to look good for the lunch date, but hadn't expected Darry to take any notice of what I was wearing. " Is there a special occasion?"

"No." I blushed "I just put on the first thing I found."

"Ok, well you look real nice and your hair is pretty too like that."

"Thanks Darry." I smiled, still blushing at the compliment and giving Darry a hug around his shoulders as he sat at the table. He could be sweet when he tried.

Soda bowled into the kitchen then and joined us at the table, tucking in to eggs, bacon and toast.

"Where's Pony?"

"In the shower, don't worry Dar, he'll be ready on time."

"Well, he's only got 15 minutes before his ride will be here."

"Don't sweat it Darry, he's quick."

Soda was proved right when 5 minutes later Pony strolled into the kitchen fully dressed and ready for breakfast. He sat down and helped himself to eggs and bacon. I was ready with time to spare for once and sat on the couch daydreaming about today's lunch date, while the boys rushed about in the usual morning chaos. I was aroused from my thoughts by a loud beeping from Two-bit's car.

"Pony your ride is here!" Darry yelled.

"Bye Becky, have a good day, work hard."

"I always do." I answered smiling.

"Uh huh, oh and don't forget you're to come straight home from after school and stay in your room."

"Ok Darry, I got it." I sighed.

"See ya later Becky-Boo." Soda tried to cheer me up, using the name that Dad had sometimes called me.

Tara was eager to talk to me once I got in the car. Two-bit had let on already that I had been found out on Friday night and told her about Darry's punishment. I was half thankful for that, at least I didn't have to tell her about it myself.

"Hey Bex. Two-bit told me you got in big trouble on Friday night. I can't believe they found out and I really can't believe that Darry gave you a whooping! Poor you."

"Well, it wasn't the greatest way to end the evening, getting yelled at by Darry and I don't even want to talk about the other thing. All I'll say is I'm gonna be on my best behaviour from now on, cos I never want a repeat of that."

Tara squeezed my hand sympathetically. "Still it wasn't all bad, huh?" She said in a low voice. I know she was referring to Matt of course! I couldn't help but grin.

"You could say that. I hope he turns up. What if he was just trying to wind up a greaser girl? Or what if he just plain forgets?" I whispered back, suddenly all my fears and insecurities about the date were pouring out.

"Don't be dumb Bex, of course he'll turn up and of course he meant it."

I smiled at her, grateful for her reassurance, but not entirely convinced that she could be so definite about that.

"Stop worrying about nothing."

"Hey you two, stop plotting back there." Two-bit interrupted. "Aren't you in enough trouble already Bexster, without planning another evil deed?"

"We ain't planning anything Two-bit, we just don't always want our whole conversation overheard by a loud-mouth greaser, that's all." I was being rude, but I knew Two-bit could take it, he dished enough of it out.

"Ouch, that hurt Bexster, I'm deeply wounded." He held his hand over his heart and I laughed.

"Thanks for the lift Two-bit, bye Pone!" I called as we arrived at school and clambered out.

"See ya Bex."

"Be good girls!" Two-bit yelled and sped off as usual.

That morning it was very hard to concentrate, but I had to force myself as there's no way I wanted to risk getting into trouble at school and getting another detention. I didn't want to even think about what Darry would do to me if I did!

Finally it was lunchtime and I had never felt so nervous. My stomach was doing somersaults and I could not keep still. I felt nauseous. If this was what going on a date felt like maybe it was overrated! Tara walked with me to the gym where Matt and I had agreed to meet and gave my hand a squeeze as we saw him pull up in a red Stingray with another dark-haired boy in the driver's seat.

"Have fun Becky! Don't do anything I wouldn't do." She smiled walking off, not wanting to stay around and be a third wheel. I glared at her, not appreciating the joke in my nervous state.

"Hi Becky" Matt smiled getting out of the car. He looked very handsome in black chinos and a green plaid shirt. "I'm glad you're here, I thought you may have changed your mind and not turn up." He confessed.

I laughed "Funny you should say that, I thought the same thing."

"Sorry, I don't have my licence yet, so my friend Mark is giving us a lift. I turn 16 in a month, then we won't need a chauffeur anymore!" He opened the rear door for me, ever the gentleman and I hopped in, he got in next to me at the other side.

"Hi." Mark turned and smiled at me from the front seat.

I said hi back, feeling a bit self-conscious at being accompanied on our date.

"I thought we'd just go to Jay's, if that's ok?" asked Matt

"Sure, sounds good." I said

Jay's was the soc hang out, so I hadn't ever been inside. I was surprised he wanted to be seen with me there, but he didn't seem to be worried about it.

"It's the closest place so it gives us more time together before we have to head back." He explained. I smiled contentedly, happy that he was keen to spend as much time as possible with me.

It was only a 5 minute ride and when we got there, to my relief, Mark went off to sit with a group of friends and left us alone. We found a quiet table in the corner.

"So, what do you fancy?" he said looking at the menu.

'You' I thought to myself, but of course I didn't say it, just blushed at my outrageous thoughts. This was not like me.

"What are you having?" I asked instead.

"Double cheeseburger, fries and a chocolate milkshake."

"Ok, I'll have cheeseburger and fries too and a pepsi."

He gave our order to the waitress and then reached out across the table to take my hand.

"I'm so glad you agreed to meet me today Becky."

"Me too." I blushed.

"I know we don't really know each other very well, but I'd like to get to know you. You're so pretty and smart and I can just tell you're an interesting person."

"Well, thanks for the compliment, but I don't know if I am."

"Sure you are. Tell me about your family. I know what happened with your parents, that must have been awful?"

"It was." I agreed.

"So, you live with your brothers now? What's that like?"

"Well, I miss Mom and Dad all the time of course and wish they were still here, but I'm really lucky to have my brothers. Darry, my eldest brother, he's 20. He was going to go off to college, had a football scholarship and everything and was saving the extra money so he could go, before it all happened. Now, he's mine and Soda and Pony's guardian and he's had to give that all up just to keep us together. He's a real good guardian too. I mean he's real strict and makes sure Pony and me work hard in school, makes sure we're safe and keeping out of trouble. He works so hard and Soda too. He dropped out to work at the DX station full-time, but he hated school anyway and loves cars, so that suits him just fine. Still he works hard and takes it real serious providing for us and all. Even Pony looks out for me too. So, if Mom and Dad had to die at least I've got my brothers who love me and look after me, which is more than some people have."

Mat squeezed my hand, he had been listening intently and sympathetically through my whole spiel and it made it so easy to tell him everything about my home life. "I can tell you guys really love each other from the way you talk about them. That's special, not all families are like that."

I smiled at him, he was right my family was special and I was glad he understood it and how important we were to each other.

"What about you Matt? What's your family like?"

"My parents are great, but I don't know if I meet up to their expectations. My older brother, Andy, he's a big basketball start and he's gone off to college in Indiana now. He's living the dream, well my Dad's dream anyway. I'm not like him though. I do ok in school and I quite enjoy playing sports but I'm not good enough to be in any A team and I don't really have a passion for it anyway."

"What is your passion?" I asked.

"Well, don't tell anyone else this, my dream would be to be a professional musician. I play guitar and piano and I love to sing and write songs, but Mom and Dad just see it as a nice hobby, not something I should be dedicating my life to. So I don't know what I'll end up doing. I guess I'll go to college and end up being a lawyer or something, like my Dad."

"That's sad if you have a dream and you're not allowed to follow it. Can't you convince your parents?"

"I haven't managed to yet, but I'm working on it!" he grinned trying to lighten the mood as the food arrived.

"This is so good!" I exclaimed swallowing my first mouthful of burger.

"Yeah, Jay's has the best burgers in Tulsa so I'm told. It's so nice to be with a girl who likes her food. There's nothing worse than a date who sits there picking at a piece of lettuce, scared that it will make her gain weight. It puts me off my food!"

I laughed "Well, there's no worries on that count. I love to eat, not as much as my brothers all do, but I do like my food."

"So, did you have fun at the dance on Friday?" Matt asked

"Yeah, I loved it, especially my dance with you." I blushed and looked down. I couldn't believe I just said that. I was normally too shy to talk so candidly with people, but it seemed like today my mouth was engaging before my brain. I hoped I wouldn't scare him off by sounding too keen.

"That was my favourite part too." Matt squeezed my hand across the table and looked into my eyes, reassuring me that I needn't feel embarrassed at what I said. His gaze made my tummy flip and he stroked the back of my hand with his thumb.

"So, your brothers didn't want you to go to the dance?" he asked.

"No, well Darry said I could go, but then I got a detention and he grounded me and said I wasn't allowed to. My best friend Tara and I hatched a plan so I could sneak out and go, but as it turned out I got found out anyway."

"Oh no! You were discovered?"

"Yeah, Darry was madder than I have ever seen him and Soda was mad too. I felt awful for making them worry. I shouldn't have gone."

"Well, I for one am glad you did."

"Yeah, when you look at it that way, it did have it's good points." I smiled.

"Did Darry ground you again?"

I felt my cheeks redden again as I thought about whether to tell him about how Darry had punished me. I didn't want to lie to him and wanted to be open and honest with him like he had been with me about his music.

"Well, actually, he gave me a whooping and he also grounded me for another week."

"Oh man, poor you. Does he do that often?" he sounded concerned.

"No, this was the first time ever and it wasn't that bad. Well it hurt but I'm not scarred for life or anything. He only did what my Daddy would have done." I defended Darry, not wanting Matt to think badly of him. "I guess I deserved it for lying to him and disobeying him and I have been kind of pushing things recently."

Matt nodded "My parents only ever yell at me or ignore me when I do stuff. I don't know which is worse."

"Well, I have to say Darry never ignores me. I sometimes wish he did, but I can't get away with anything!" I smiled.

"Well, I guess I'd better make sure to keep on Darry's good side, since he can decide if we spend any time together or not."

"Yeah, I don't think he'd approve of us altogether. He thinks I'm still a baby. I don't know how he'd feel if he knew we had met like this today." That wasn't strictly true, I did know, he would go crazy.

"Well, maybe we should break it to him gradually. I could get to know your brothers maybe, before we introduce the idea of 'us'."

I couldn't help but grin. He was talking as if we were an item, I felt like we were good together too, but I was surprised he was thinking of us that way and not just as some casual date.

"Sorry" he apologised. "I'm probably making assumptions about you and us. I would really like to see you again and spend lots of time with you, but I understand if you don't feel the same or want to take things more slowly. I just feel I can be myself with you and that doesn't happen with many people."

"I feel the same way Matt." I admitted. "I love talking to you and really want to spend more time with you too. We need to work on a way for you to meet my brothers properly so they can get to know you and don't see you as a threat. What about Pony, do you see much of him at school?"

"Well, he's in a couple of my classes and I'm in the B track team, so we sometimes train with the A team, which he's in."

"So, maybe Pony and you could hang out or something?"

"Maybe…"

Mark came over to the table and pointed at his watch.

"Oh heck, look at the time! We need to get you back to school. I don't want you getting into trouble on my account."

He paid the bill, refusing my offer of money saying it was him who had invited me. We pulled up back outside the gym and Mark turned the engine off and subtly got out of the car to give us a bit of privacy.

"Thanks Matt." I said, not quite knowing if I was meant to kiss him or something.

He put his arm across the back of the seat and gently stroked my cheek.

"Thanks for a lovely date Becky. Do you mind if I kiss you?"

I shook my head, my heart pounding as he leant forward. I closed my eyes as he gave me one gentle kiss on my lips.

"I'll call you." He said

"No, I'll call you. If you call and my brothers pick up I don't know how things will go down. I'll try and call you later tonight, ok?"

"Ok, bye Becky." Mark climbed back in as I climbed out and I smiled and waved as the car drove off. I was on cloud 9. I felt like laughing and screaming and dancing all at the same time. I couldn't believe he liked me so much or how nice he was, how easy he was to talk to, how handsome and just, well…perfect it seemed. My only niggling worry was my brothers. I knew they would not be happy about this – he was 15 going on 16 and a soc. Two big no-nos! Well, we'd have to work on them, but for now I had to get back to class. I didn't know how I was gonna concentrate that afternoon. I couldn't wait to tell Tara all about it!


	11. Chapter 11 - Girly gossip and subterfuge

_**Sorry, this chapter is a bit empty of plot, it's just a fill in and I'm not sure yet where I'm going with the Bex and Matt relationship….so keep reading, hopefully it will get better!**_

Chapter 11

**Girly gossip and subterfuge**

The period after lunch I had Chemistry and Tara was not in my class for that, so I had to bite my tongue until the last period, which was English with the infamous Miss Haswell. I waited outside the class for Tara to arrive and she came hurrying along just as the bell went, so we didn't have a chance to talk properly. I couldn't risk another run in with Miss Haswell, so I daren't try and chat or pass a note to Tara. While Miss Haswell's back was turned Tara tapped me on the back.

"How was it?" She mouthed as I turned around.

I grinned and gave her a thumbs up and she returned my grin, then I forced myself to turn back around and face the board. The end of school could not come quick enough. We filed out of the classroom and as soon as we were in the corridor Tara was plying me for information.

"So, spill the beans, how did it go?" she demanded. We were talking as we walked, making our way to the parking lot to meet Two-bit and Pony.

"It was awesome. He is such a great guy, so open and warm and we just seem to click, you know?"

"Oh yeah?" Tara said suggestively, raising her eyebrows.

"Not like that." I slapped her arm. "Well, maybe a bit, but just he's so easy to talk to and he's such a great listener. We talked all lunch break and it felt really natural.

"So, did you kiss him?!" I blushed, giving away the answer. "I knew it!" Tara practically jumped up and down. "You kissed him – on the lips?"

"Yeah."

"Tongues?"

"Uhhh, yuck Tara, do you always have to lower the tone? No, no tongues."

"Maybe next time." She nudged me. "Did you make another date?"

"No, but I'm gonna call him tonight, if I find the right moment and he wants to see me again. He seems to really like me."

"Of course he does."

"There's just one problem…"

"Your brothers." Tara said.

I nodded. "They are not going to like this one bit."

"So, what are you gonna do, keep it a secret from them or what?"

"Well, for now I guess, but the idea is to maybe let them get to know Matt without knowing that we're 'together' and once they trust him introduce the idea of us going out…"

"Uh huh, I hope you can make it work."

"Me too. We have to! I can't not see him anymore and I can't keep it from my brothers forever."

"Shhh! There's Ponyboy." We had reached Two-bit's car and Pony was leaning against the bonnet smoking a cigarette.

"Hey Tara, Hey Bex." He called.

"Hey Pony. Is Two-bit running late or something?"

"Nah, he's just otherwise engaged." Pony nodded his head towards the other side of the parking lot where Two-bit was chatting up two pretty blonde girls.

I rolled my eyes. "Typical!"

"You manage to stay out of trouble today, you two?"

"Of course."

"What about you?" asked Tara.

"Yeah, only just though. I managed to avoid getting into a fight in study hall. Actually, Matt Carter that guy you danced with at the dance, he helped me out."

"See, I told you he was a nice guy."

"Well, actually you told me he was sweet. I can't comment on that, but he does seem to be a good guy and he sure helped me out today. If not I would have ended up in a fight and sent to the principle's office and Darry would have had a cow."

"See, not all socs are bad then."

"Maybe." Pony didn't want to commit himself to that.

"Come on y'all, let's get outta here!" Two-bit yelled, jumping into the driver's seat of his old heap.

"_We_ were all waiting for_ you_ Casanova." Quipped Tara.

"Well, it was worth your wait, I got a phone number out of it."

"How is that good for us?" I asked.

"A happy driver is a good driver, everyone knows that."

I smiled at Two-bit's craziness.

"You're obviously not happy that often then." Pony remarked earning a slap up the side of his head from Two-bit.

"Watch it young Curtis or you'll be walking home." Pony just laughed.

Two-bit dropped Tara off first. "Do you wanna come round and do your homework at my place?" she asked me.

"Sorry, I'm grounded, remember? Maybe I'll try and persuade Darry to let you come study at my place tomorrow. I can tell him we're doing a project together or something."

"Rebecca Curtis, you are getting very devious in your old age." Two-bit commented.

"Well, maybe I learnt it all from you." I sassed back.

I waved to Tara as Two-bit pulled away and we headed to our place. I didn't have that much homework that night, so I finished it all before Darry even got home. I then lay on my bed listening to the radio and playing and replaying my time with Matt. I was jolted out of my happy daydream by Soda knocking on my door and yelling that dinner was ready.

"Hey Bex, how was your day?" Soda asked as I walked into the kitchen.

"Pretty good." I smiled. That was definitely an understatement, but I couldn't very well tell him was amazing without telling him why! "Who cooked?" I asked.

"Me" Soda said proudly.

I groaned. "Oh man, is it something normal or one of your experiments?"

"Sadly, I wasn't allowed to improvise tonight, it's just a regular pot roast. I hope you are not being rude about my cooking Missy."

"Never!" I feigned innocence.

"Good, just cos I'm an original cook. One of these days I'll be discovered and become a world famous chef, just watch this space." Soda joked.

"I won't hold my breath." Said Pony and we laughed.

Soda squeezed the back of Pony's neck making him raise his shoulders, he hated that!

"Ok, cut it out Soda, I'm sorry!"

"You guys are all crazy!" Darry remarked coming in from the bathroom where he had just been taking a quick shower after work.

"Pony, Becky, you got homework?"

"Done it all." I said smugly, earning a glare from Ponyboy.

"I got some math left to do." Pony grudgingly admitted.

"Make sure you get straight onto that after dinner then."

We all tucked into the chicken and chatted happily back and forth.

"Darry?" I asked.

"Yeah?" he sounded cautious, knowing she was about to ask a favour.

"Tara and I have got to work on this history project about Abraham Lincoln together. Is it ok if she comes to study with me tomorrow after school?" It amazed me how easily I could lie sometimes. Pony, who knew of course that it wasn't true just raised his eyebrows but carried on eating.

"Well, you're meant to be grounded Becky. You shouldn't be having friends over."

"But, it's for her school work." Soda took up for me. "She needs to get together with Tara to work on that project, don't she?" I smiled gratefully at him.

"Well, okay." Darry answered, "But just for an hour or so."

"Thanks Dar." I tried not to grin too broadly. It would be nice to have some company after what seemed like an eternity of being confined to my room.

My next challenge for that evening was going to be how to make a phone call to Matt without being overheard. That was not going to be easy. But it seemed luck was on my side. Darry announced that he had to go to the grocery store to top up on food and Soda asked for a lift to Sarah's house, so that would just leave me and Pony for an hour or so. As long as Pony stayed in his room working on his homework I should be able to use the phone without him really noticing, if I sat at the far end of the sofa and didn't talk too loudly.

"Pony, make sure you work on that math while I'm out and I'll check on it when I get back." Pony rolled his eyes but went off to his room obediently. "And Becky, you have to stay in your room remember?"

"How could I forget Dar?" I sassed.

"Watch it little girl, don't get mouthy."

"Sorry, see ya later Dar." I turned and went off to my room, yelling goodbye to Soda, who was out on the porch.

Once I was certain that the truck was gone and that Pony was safely ensconced in his room, I ventured out into the living room, clutching the piece of paper with Matt's number scrawled on it. I dialled nervously, hoping he would pick up.

"Hello?" came a deep voice.

"Hi, can I speak to Matt please?"

"Becky, is that you? It's me, Matt."

"Hi." I said suddenly feeling shy.

"You managed to call without any trouble then?"

"Darry and Soda have just gone out and Pony's in his room doing homework, so I don't have long to chat."

"What are you doing this evening?"

"Just killing time really, I'm not allowed out of my room and I've finished all my homework, so I guess I'll go and read or listen to the radio after this. Maybe I need to take up knitting or something if I'm going to keep on being grounded."

Matt chuckled "Can I put in a request for a bobble hat please?" He joked.

"What are you up to this evening?"

"I've got a ton of homework left to do, so that's my fun night planned out – at least I have your call to cheer me up."

I laughed, "Hey, Pony told me you helped him out in Study Hall today?"

"Oh yeah, a bunch of idiots were picking on him and trying to wind him up, friends of Bob Sheldon's I think, so I got them to back off before it got too serious."

"Well, he appreciated it. That was a good start in the 'befriend my brothers masterplan'!"

It was his turn to laugh. "Yeah, I guess it was, I hadn't thought of it like that. So, before you have to rush off, when can I see you again?"

"Well, it will have to be at lunchtime again, like today, as I'm still not allowed out, not till after the weekend and then I have to have a pretty good reason."

"Isn't seeing me a good enough reason?"

"For me yeah, but not for Darry, in fact he may think that was a pretty bad reason!"

"Shall I pick you up on Thursday then? Same time, same place?"

"Ok, that sounds fine."

"It's a long time till Thursday though, do you think you'll get the chance to call again before then?"

"I hope so, I'll try my best, but I lucked out tonight with Darry and Soda both heading out and Pony preoccupied. It doesn't always happen that way."

"No, well see what you can do!"

"I will." Suddenly Ponyboy appeared in the living room. "Ok Tara, I've gotta go." I babbled.

"Tara?" Matt sounded confused "Oh, I get it, you've got company."

"Yeah, that's right. So I'll see you at school tomorrow then."

"Take care Becky, call me if you can."

"Will do, bye!"

Pony looked at me strangely. "What are you doing calling Tara?"

"I didn't, she called me, didn't you hear the phone ringing?"

"No." Pony looked puzzled.

"Strange, well she wanted to know if Darry said yes about the studying together thing." This lying was getting too easy, though I could tell my cheeks were red, which would have given me away if Pony had cared to notice.

"You better get back in your room before Darry gets home."

"Yeah, I know, I'm going." I grouched, annoyed at Pony for bossing me around.

"Only trying to stop you getting into more trouble."

"Yeah, yeah. Done your homework?" I asked sarcastically. If he was gonna play at being Darry then two could play at that game. He rolled his eyes at me.

"None of your business." He snapped.

"Only trying to stop you getting into trouble." I used his words back at him and went off to my room.

Twenty minutes later Darry came back to find me lying on my bed listening to Elvis on the radio.

"Don't you have anything better to do?" he asked.

"I've already done everything Darry, there's only so much I _can _do if I have to stay in my room all the time."

"Watch your tone Rebecca. You're being very mouthy tonight and I don't like it. Be careful or I will find you plenty of chores to stop you getting bored."

I bit my tongue, wanting to answer back, but thinking better of it. Darry went out and went to hassle Ponyboy instead. I heard him yelling at Pony to get on and finish his math, which he still hadn't done. At least someone else was getting yelled at for once!

That week at school went by really slowly until Thursday. It had been great to have Tara round on Tuesday after school. We did do our homework together, just not the fictional Abraham Lincoln project, but we also managed to fit in plenty of gossip! Darry asked to see the project but I claimed that Tara had taken it home with her. Hopefully he wouldn't remember to ask about it again.

Thursday's lunch date with Matt was great, just as good as the first one. I hadn't managed to call him in between because Darry or one of my other brothers was always around in the living room. So, we had plenty to talk about. This time we had an even longer kiss and Matt had his arm around me in the back seat the whole journey to and from school. It felt so nice. We arranged to meet again on Monday and try to talk on the phone at the weekend if possible. I was really falling for Matt and wished we could be together more often. I wished even more that I didn't have to do all this behind my brothers' backs. Surely it was only a matter of time before they realised something was going or before I was caught out. So far, so good though and I hoped it stayed that way.


	12. Chapter 12 - Party plans, teenage moods

_This chapter came out of wanting to include something about Becky's experience of being a teenager, and not just about her relationship with Matt and discovering boys. So, all the mood swings, uncertainties and the changes of growing up and with only her brothers to guide her through it._

Chapter 12

**Party plans, teenage moods and growing up**

Our lunch meetings carried on for the next couple of weeks. In my moments of insecurity, I wondered if Matt was eventually going to get bored with me and go for one of the many 10th grade girls, who would have happily taken my place. Not that he ever gave me any reason to think like that, in fact he seemed to like me as much as I liked him, but I just couldn't believe my luck. I lived for those lunch times with him. I'm sure Tara must have been sick of me talking about how wonderful Matt was, but she seemed to enjoy sharing my excitement over it all. Much to Tara's joy our kissing had now advanced to tongues and it was better than I thought. I was looking forward to Matt's birthday the following week, then we would no longer need a chauffeur to accompany us all the time. I felt rather self-conscious kissing in front of Mark, or whichever friend it was who was driving that day.

Much to my pleasure Pony and Matt had started hanging out together sometimes at school. Matt was planning to have a small party for his upcoming birthday and planned to invite Ponyboy along. He was also going to suggest to him that he bring his sister and her friend along, but I wasn't sure if Pony would take the bait on that. I was finally off restrictions and allowed back out in the land of the living, or at least the living room! Even so, I wasn't sure that Darry would trust me to go to a high school party, even with Pony to watch my every move. As it turned out support would come from an unexpected quarter for me.

It was Friday evening and I had just wandered out into the living room, having finished most of my homework. Soda was there on the couch with Sarah cuddled up next to him and Pony was sitting in the armchair. They were watching some Western on TV.

"Hi Becky." Sarah greeted me. She was always really friendly to me, but I was usually pretty cautious in returning it, as I was still pretty protective of Soda.

"Hi Sarah, how are you? Haven't seen you around here for a while."

"No, well Soda usually has to come to my place cos my folks get me to babysit my brother all the time. He's 10 so he could probably look after himself, but they insist on my staying with him."

"Yeah, well I'm 12 and Darry still seems to think I need a babysitter, so I feel your pain there."

Soda raised his eyebrows at me. "C'mon Bex, you know Darry only wants to do what's best for you and keep you safe. You'll always be our baby sister, even when you're old and grey like Darry."

I laughed "Don't let Darry hear you say that."

"Say what?" Darry asked as he wandered in, putting his tool belt down by the door.

"Nothing." Said Soda.

"Soda, was just saying you were old and grey." I said grinning, earning myself a glare from Soda.

"Just joking Darry." Soda quickly defended himself. "What I really meant to say was, you are wise beyond your years."

"Yeah, Little Buddy, wise enough to know that you are talking bull. You better watch it or you won't get to be old and grey yourself."

Soda just grinned, knowing Darry wasn't really mad at him. Darry went off into his room to change. Just then the phone rang. I picked up as I was the closest and my heart fluttered as I heard a familiar voice on the other end of the line.

"Hello?"

"Hi Bex, it's me Matt."

"Oh, hi!" I tried to tone it down as I knew I had an audience.

"Yeah, I'm just calling to ask Ponyboy about my party, remember?"

"Yeah, I do, Pony's right here, I'll get him for you." I moved the phone away from my ear. "Pony, it's Matt Carter for you."

Pony looked surprised and came and took the phone from me. I sat down on the couch listening intently to the conversation, but pretending not to be interested. Pony's side of the conversation only gave so much away.

"Hi Matt…Oh that sounds good, thanks for asking me. I'll need to check with my brother Darry, but I think it will be ok…..Really?...I'm not sure she'll be allowed, but I'll ask…..ok I'll let you know on Monday at school. Thanks Matt, have a good evening."

"What was all that about?" asked Soda.

"Oh, just a friend from school, Matt Carter, he's having a party for his birthday next Saturday and was inviting me along. He also said to bring Bex and Tara along."

"Really? I asked, trying to sound surprised. "That's real nice of him. I'd love to go and I'm sure Tara would too."

"Hang on a minute, Bex. I don't know if Darry is really gonna be happy to let you go to some 10th grader's party. We've never even met this Matt Carter guy. Why's he want to invite you and Tara to his party?" Soda said.

"Maybe he's just being friendly." I suggested irritably.

Sarah piped up "I know Matt Carter, he's a really nice guy. His big brother and my big brother Simon are friends, they were at school together and our parents are friends too."

"You know him?" Soda asked Sarah.

"Yeah, he's a sweet guy, he's not gonna get Pony and Becky into trouble."

"Why are Pony and Becky gonna get into trouble?" Darry asked walking in on the conversation, having finished getting washed.

"We're not getting into trouble." Pony said with some irritation at Darry's paranoia. "Matt, a friend of mine from school just asked me to his birthday party next Saturday and invited Bex and Tara along too. Sarah was just saying she knows Matt and that he's a good guy and won't get us into any trouble."

"A high school party?" Darry asked sceptically.

"Well, it's not really like that, it ain't gonna be wild. It's just Matt's friends, I think even his parents will be there."

"Can I go please Darry? It sounds like it'll be fun and Pony will be there." I pleaded.

"I haven't said he can go yet and I still don't see why this guy is inviting you and Tara."

"He's just being nice Dar. He's met Bex and Tara before." Pony explained.

"Really?"

"Yeah, just around, you know." I said quickly, not wanting to mention where we first met and remind Darry about the dance!

"Well, ok, you can both go, but Pony, you need to look after Becky and you both need to be back by 10.00."

"Oh Darry, it's a Saturday night. It ain't fair if Pony has to leave early just cos of me. Can't we stay till midnight?"

"No way. 11.00 and that's my final word."

"Ok Darry, thanks." I conceded before he changed his mind. I couldn't help but smile and my heart jumped. Finally I could spend some time with Matt away from school and feel a bit more like a normal couple, though with Pony around we'd have to be careful of course. I was grateful to Pony that he had put my case forward for once. I had thought he may be against me and Tara going too.

I was suddenly full of nervous energy and needed to walk it off "Can I walk over to Tara's quickly and ask her about it?" I asked Darry.

"You'll see her at school on Monday you can ask her then." Darry answered. "Or give her a call."

"Oh please Darry, I really feel like a walk. I'll be real quick. I'll be back in time for dinner."

"Becky, I'm not going to argue with you about this. It's starting to get dark already and you know how I feel about you walking around this neighbourhood alone, especially at night. It just ain't safe."

I felt completely frustrated. I was desperate to get out, even for 10 minutes. I felt like I might scream otherwise. I was so excited about the prospect of going to Matt's party and I just felt a burning desire to talk to Tara about it. She was the only one I _could_ talk to. It seemed like all Darry did was say no and stop me from doing things. Deep down I knew he was only doing his job to protect me, but I didn't feel like being reasonable right then. All I felt was frustrated and mad about it.

"Darry I'm not a baby anymore you know? I am capable of walking 2 blocks without getting lost or jumped or getting killed crossing the road. I do know to look both ways and not take candy from strangers." My anger was coming out as sarcasm. I knew Darry wouldn't like it, but I just couldn't shut myself up.

"Rebecca Grace, that's enough of your lip! I don't want to discuss this anymore. I said you are not going now and that is final." He raised his voice.

"Arghhh!" I screamed and slammed my fist down on the back of the couch in frustration. Soda and Pony both looked at me wide-eyed. I rarely got this mad and rarely dared to answer Darry back. I felt out of control though and I just couldn't stop now that I had started. "Why do you always get to have the last word? It ain't fair! I have as much right to an opinion as you do."

"I ain't stopping you from giving your opinion Rebecca, I'm just saying I don't agree with it and as your guardian I'm afraid I do have the final say, like Mom and Dad did with me and Soda. And right now I would like you to go to your room and cool off if you know what's good for you, before I change my mind about letting you go to that party. I don't know what's got into you this evening, but you need to calm down and stop taking your anger out on the furniture."

I had no useful come back, so all I could say was "Fine!" and I stormed off to my room. I had to agree with Darry, I didn't know what had got into me that evening either! It's not even that I cared so much about going round to Tara's to tell her about Matt's party. I knew I could see her the next day or even try to call her later on. I just got carried away on a wave of frustration and let it take over me. Maybe it was hormones. I hadn't started my period yet, but in health class we had talked about how that time of the month could make you cranky and emotional. Maybe I was finally becoming a woman. I wanted to go to the bathroom to check, but didn't dare to go out through the living room when Darry had sent me to my room. I would just have to wait and check later.

I heard Darry and Soda discussing me from my room.

"What has got into her tonight? It ain't like her to overreact like that." Darry said.

"I don't know Dar, she's just becoming a teenager is probably all. We've got more of this to come I'm sure." Soda replied.

"Do you want me to talk to her?" asked Sarah. "Maybe it's girl stuff."

'No thanks' I thought to myself. How humiliating that would be, no! If I was going to discuss 'girl stuff' with anyone it would be Tara and not Soda's girlfriend. Thankfully Soda knew me well enough to say,

"That's sweet of you Sarah, but I don't think she would take it well." Too right I wouldn't!

I got tired of trying to hear the conversation in the living room and went back to my homework. I couldn't avoid the English assignment any longer. We had to write an essay about our earliest memory. I think mine was when I was 3 years old and it must have been summer because the whole family had gone to the lake for the day. Soda, who would have been 8 and Darry, who would have been 11, were swinging on a rope from a tree next to the lake and landing in the water. I really wanted to have a turn, but Daddy said Pony and I were too little and we should go play hide and seek instead.

I was so angry about not being allowed to go on the rope swing that I hid myself away inside a hollow log and pulled some branches in after me. I hid so well that nobody could find me and I was cross so I decided not to answer. My parents and Darry, Soda and Pony were looking everywhere and calling my name frantically. It was just a clever game to me, I didn't understand how much I scared my parents. Daddy even jumped in the lake and started poking around with a stick in case I had fallen in and drowned. I only came out of the log when my Mom started crying and only then cos I was hungry. Daddy was furious when he realised I had been hiding the whole time and not answered. That's the first time I remember him spanking me. Just 3 swats on my butt, but I was so shocked that I just couldn't stop crying and Mom had to lie with me that night to get me to sleep. Daddy felt bad to have made me so upset, but by the next morning I was over it.

There was no way I was gonna share that memory with Miss Haswell. I would just have to make something up. I had written a couple of paragraphs on some lame story about going to feed the ducks with my Mom, when Soda knocked on the door.

"Come in." I said.

"Are you feeling a bit better?" he asked cautiously.

I sighed feeling melancholy "I guess so. Sorry about before. I just get angry sometimes about being babied by everyone."

It suddenly struck me that I hadn't changed that much since I was 3 years old. I was angry then about being treated like a baby and I was still angry about the same thing now I was 12! I didn't know if that was a bad reflection on me having a chip on my shoulder about being the youngest or if it was a bad reflection on my family always seeing me as the baby.

"It's ok Bex, I understand. Maybe you should apologise to Darry though. I think you scared him a bit."

"I scared myself a bit actually." I commented and Soda laughed.

"Come on Baby….I mean Becky." He hesitated to call me baby after my complaint about being babied. He grabbed my hand and pulled me towards the door. "Let's go eat dinner."

I actually wasn't feeling too great. My stomach was aching and I just felt generally off.

"Ok, but I really don't feel good. I might not be able to eat much."

"You getting sick honey?" Soda sounded concerned.

"I dunno. Just feel rough and my stomach aches."

"Becky's not feeling too good, Darry." Soda reported as we went into the kitchen. Darry looked worried and came over putting his hand on my forehead.

"I don't think you have a fever."

"No, I'm not that bad, but my stomach's hurting and I feel pretty rotten."

"Are you gonna eat something or do you wanna go lie down?" Darry asked me.

"Is it ok if I just go lie down? I don't think I can face dinner."

"Ok Sweetie." Darry agreed "I'll come and check on you in a bit." I wondered if he told me that so I wouldn't be tempted to climb out of my window like the last time I went to bed sick! I was suddenly ashamed remembering that and thinking about my behaviour towards Darry earlier.

"Sorry about before Darry. I didn't mean to sass you like that."

Darry smiled at me "I appreciate that Bex, it sure wasn't like you. Now, go lie down, I hope you feel better."

I went to the bathroom first, to see if this really was 'it' and my period had finally arrived, but was disappointed to find that there was nothing there. So, maybe I couldn't blame my mood on the hormones after all.

I got changed for bed and despite my achy stomach fell asleep almost straight away, not even waking when Darry came in to check on me. In the middle of the night I woke up with worse stomach cramps and made my way to the bathroom. When I sat down I noticed there was a dark stain in my underwear. So I had been right. This was it, my period had finally come. Tara had had hers for two years now, so I could finally tell her I had mine too.

I was less excited at the prospect of having to tell Darry. In fact, quite the opposite. I would have to though as I had no pads and I would need to ask him to take me to the drugstore to get some. Oh, how I wished Mom were here. It was so hard to go through this without her and embarrassing to have to talk to my brother about it. A couple of tears ran down my cheeks and I brushed them angrily away, there was no point in crying about it. I folded up a wad of toilet paper and put it in my underwear for now, until I could talk to Darry in the morning. I hoped that would be enough. I slept fitfully after that, feeling anxious and still getting stomach cramps. Sometimes I hated growing up.


	13. Chapter 13 - Brotherly love, friendly

Chapter 13

**Brotherly love, friendly advice and cleaning**

When I woke up the next morning it was already 9.00. My immediate thought was to check my underwear to make sure I hadn't bled all over the place. I sighed with relief when I saw I hadn't. I made my way to the bathroom, showered and dressed, putting another wad of paper in my underwear to keep me going until I could get something proper to use.

Soda was already out at work and I could hear Pony shifting around in his room, probably about to get up. Darry was in the living room, relaxing for once and reading the newspaper.

"Morning Darry!" I called.

"Morning Becky, how did you sleep? You were out for the count when I went in to check on you."

"Well, I didn't sleep great actually. Can I talk to you about something?" I asked nervously.

Darry put his paper down and looked at me properly.

"Is something wrong? Are you still feeling sick?" He looked anxious.

"No, not really. Erm, it's just kinda embarrassing."

"Whatever it is Becky, you can tell me. I ain't gonna laugh at ya or anything." He said gently.

I loved Darry at that moment, he could be so sweet and caring. I knew I could tell him and we may both be a bit embarrassed but he wouldn't make me feel awkward or laugh at my expense. I imagined trying to tell the same thing to Two-Bit or Steve, they would both find it highly amusing and would be totally insensitive about it. I was glad Darry was my brother not them. I moved over and sat on the couch and came right out with it, not knowing how else to put it.

"Darry, I got my period and I need to go to the drugstore, I don't have any, you know, stuff." I saw his eyes grow bigger and his face turned slightly pink, but he acted calm and just said,

"I'm sorry Mom's not here for you for this Bex. I know it must be hard for you. At least that explains your bad stomach last night and your bad mood." He smiled slightly.

I smiled back "I guess."

"Do you need any aspirin or anything?"

"No, I feel better, I just need to get some pads or something." I blushed looking down. Darry came over and sat next to me on the couch. He put his arm around me and gave me a sideways hug. I leant my head against his chest. I was so glad to have him there for this if I couldn't have Mom.

"Do you need to go right now to the drugstore or do you want some breakfast first?"

"I think I'll be ok to have some breakfast." I replied, but I was reluctant to move and pull away from his hug. He squeezed me one more time and then stood up, pulling me after him.

"Come on, there's some bacon and eggs already made on the table."

"Thanks Dar." And I didn't just mean for breakfast. He pushed me down onto a chair in the kitchen and got me a plate of food. He was being so sweet.

"Thanks Darry, I can still make myself breakfast you know?"

"I know, but maybe you deserve a little bit of looking after today."

I smiled broadly at him "You know, you are so like Daddy sometimes, he would be real proud of you and how you take such good care of us."

Darry smiled back at the compliment. "Thanks Becky, I appreciate that. I do try my best, but I know I don't always get it right."

"Well, you do most of the time. Daddy didn't always get it right either I'll bet."

"When did you get to be so wise, baby sister?"

I shrugged. "I guess one of us round here needs to be."

"Watch it or I might change my mind about treating you nice today."

After breakfast Darry yelled to Pony that we were going to the drugstore and we went off in the truck. I went into the store by myself, though Darry did offer to come with me. I got what I needed and then went straight to the customer bathroom to sort myself out.

"Darry?" I asked when I got back in the truck. "Can you drop me off at Tara's?"

"Ok, but you need to be back in time for dinner so you can do a bit of homework afterwards."

"Thanks Dar, I've nearly finished my homework though."

"Glad to hear it. Me or Soda or someone will pick you up at 5.00."

"I can walk back Darry, it's only 2 blocks."

"We already had this conversation last night Becky. One of us will pick you up." Darry said firmly.

"Ok." Darry dropped me off outside Tara's place and I knocked on her door, waving to tell Darry it was ok for him to go as Tara answered the door.

"Hey Bex, good to see ya, come on in!"

"Hey Tara, I've got so much to talk to you about."

"Let's go to my room then, it's more private."

We sat on her bed and I told her all about my mood swings last night and waking up with my period in the middle of the night. I also told her how sweet Darry had been. She was pleased for me that I finally got my period, as she knew I was desperate to start, since all my friends had already – the downside of being the youngest in my grade. I then told her about Matt's call the night before and his invitation to the party next Saturday.

"Do you think your Mom will let you go? You can tell her Ponyboy will be there to look after us."

"Yeah, I'm sure she'll be cool about it. She usually trusts me. I can't believe that Darry actually said 'yes' to a high school party. He must be getting soft in his old age."

I laughed. "I wish! I think he was reassured by the fact that Sarah knows Matt's family and said they were really nice and also the fact that Ponyboy is coming. In fact Pony also stuck up for me for once."

"So, do you think you and Matt will get any alone time with Pony around?" Tara waggled her eyebrows.

I blushed and said "Well, I sure hope so. This will be the first time we've seen each other outside of school hours, it would be a shame to waste it!"

"I hope his friend Carl is coming, he's really cute."

"Hey, it'd be cool if you got together with Carl – we could double date! That's if I ever get to go on a date of course. I'm sure Carl will be there, he's one of Matt's best friends."

"What are you getting Matt for his birthday?"

"Oh, don't remind me! I'm finding it hard to think what to get. I don't exactly have a lot of money and I want it to be something personal, not just a record or something."

"Well, you know him pretty well by now. You just need to think of a gift that means something to the both of you but doesn't cost the earth!"

"Well, I did think about giving him some 'i.o.u's', ya know? Like promises of things I would do for him when he wants to cash them in!"

"What kind of things?" Tara raised her eyebrows.

"Get your mind out of the gutter Tara Mason! I don't mean anything like that. I was thinking more of things like – 'a picnic at the lake' or 'a backrub' or 'a date at the movies'….I don't know. What do you think?"

"That doesn't seem too bad of an idea. It's sweet and it doesn't cost anything. Here I've got some index cards right here, we could start on them now…"

So, Tara and I spent the rest of the morning trying to come up with some good promises for me to give to Matt. We had 10 good ones by lunchtime and we grabbed ourselves some grilled cheese and talked about what we were going to wear for the party. Tara was convinced the less the better if she was gonna catch Carl's eye, but I was trying to convince her to go the more sophisticated route and wear something smarter and maybe warmer. It was still winter after all!

After lunch we lay side by side on her bed just chatting and singing along to the radio.

"Has Matt tried to go further than first base with you yet?" Tara asked.

I sat up in surprise. "No!" I exclaimed. "I ain't ready yet for more than just kissing and Matt is not pressuring me to go further. I'm really happy with how things are right now."

"I know, but he is nearly 16 and he might decide he wants more at some point." Tara warned.

"He's not like that." I protested.

"All boys are like that." Tara said knowingly. "I just think you at least need to talk about it, so you know what he's thinking."

I rolled my eyes and was beginning to feel annoyed. Why did Tara have to say that and make me doubt my relationship with Matt? What if she was right and he wanted more, but I couldn't give it to him so he went elsewhere? I never thought our age gap was a problem, but I could see how it could be if Matt was ready to go to the next level when I just wasn't ready to contemplate that. I suddenly felt down and insecure and no longer optimistic about Matt and my relationship.

Tara could tell I was upset. "I'm sorry Bex, I didn't mean to get you down. Just ignore what I said. If Matt isn't pressuring you then you don't need to worry. He's a good guy and he really likes you, so maybe he is just happy to wait. You are definitely worth it." She nudged me and smiled.

I tried to smile back at her but could only manage a half-hearted grimace.

"Ignore me Becky, what do I know about your situation? I don't even have a boyfriend and I don't know Matt that well, so I could be completely wrong. Look at Ponyboy, he's a good guy like Matt. I bet if he found a girl he liked then he would wait forever if she wanted him to, Matt is like Pony. Just the guys I have dated are more like Steve and I know he wouldn't wait around for long"

That made sense. Matt and Pony were similar, both sensitive and gentle, not like the average guy and I knew what Tara said was right, if he ever met a girl Pony would wait for her for as long as it took if he loved her. It wasn't all about the sex for him and it wasn't for Matt either, at least I didn't think so.

There was a loud beeping from outside at just before 5.00, so I knew my ride was here. It was Soda who grinned and waved from the truck as I came out of Tara's door. I gave her a hug.

"See you Monday Tara, or come round tomorrow afternoon if you're free."

"Bye Bex, hopefully see you tomorrow."

"Hey Becky-Boo, had a good time?" Soda asked gently. I knew straight away that Darry must have told him about my period and he was trying to be extra nice.

I blushed "Yeah, good thanks. I guess Darry told you then."

"Told me what?" He tried to act innocent.

"Soda! You know what."

He admitted defeat then. "Yeah, he told me. Are you feeling ok?"

"Yeah fine. I'm not ill you know, it's just one of those things us girls have to go through. I'm gonna have to get used to it aren't I?"

"I guess so." Soda said, putting his arm across my shoulders and giving me a squeeze for a second before putting his hand back on the steering wheel. "I guess we're going to have to get used to your moods too, either that or avoid you once a month!" he grinned and I slapped him on the arm.

I was feeling somewhat preoccupied about what Tara had said. I guessed she was right and it would be a good idea to talk to Matt about us and how he felt things were going. Just because I felt happy with where we were at doesn't mean he did. I vowed to myself to bring it up with him on Monday when we met for lunch.

When we got back home Pony, Steve and Two-bit were all there playing Poker and Darry was in the kitchen getting dinner ready. Pony looked up from the game.

"Hey Bex, how are you doing? Come sit down on the couch." So, he had been told too. Thanks Darry! Well, I guess at least my brothers were being kind and caring about it. I knew Darry had probably warned them not to tease me and embarrass me about it, but they were really being too nice. It felt wrong not to be ignored or teased or picked on.

"I'm fine Pony, I think I'll go finish up my homework in my room."

"What's wrong with you Bexster, you sick or something? Why are you being so nice to her Pony?" Two-bit asked.

"Can't I be nice to my little sister Two-bit?"

"Well, yeah you can, but it ain't normal. It's very suspicious."

I smacked Two-bit on the back of the head as I went past, but wasn't quick enough to escape to my room before he jumped up and pinned me down. This was a common occurrence so he was surprised when Soda yelled at him,

"Lay off her Two-bit, don't be so rough."

Two-bit let go of me, but looked confused "You pregnant or something Becky?" he joked and I turned bright red. Soda grabbed him in a headlock "Take that back Two-bit, that's my baby sister you are talking about."

"Ok, ok, I'm sorry, I take it back. You guys are all acting weird though and I will get to the bottom of it. Becky will get ideas above her station if you keep on treating her like she's breakable. She'll start wanting room-service and foot rubs next, just you wait and see."

"Yeah, actually Two-bit can you bring me a Pepsi to my room, I'm feeling thirsty." I teased, I was glad he hadn't cottoned on to the real reason for Soda and Pony's behaviour. I knew he would tease me relentlessly.

"See what I mean?" Two-bit grinned. "Get it yourself you lazy bum!"

"There's only one lazy bum around here. When's the last time you did a stroke of work, Two-bit?" Steve sneered.

I went off to my room, leaving the boys to their childish banter and cards. I tried to finish off that English so I could rest after dinner. I did a good enough job on it and then went out in the living room to be met by Darry yelling for me,

"Bex! Dinner!...Oh" he said as I practically bumped into him coming down the corridor.

I laughed. "What was that Darry, I didn't quite catch it?"

"Very funny! Come and eat, it's your favourite, chicken tacos." and he put his hand on my back to guide me into the kitchen.

I stuffed myself, I was feeling ravenous and it really was my favourite. I love Mexican food. After dinner I lounged on the couch feeling full and watching Mister Ed. Pony was working in his room and Soda had gone out with Steve and Two-bit.

"Becky, ain't you got homework to finish?" Darry asked coming into the living room.

"Nope, I did it all."

"You sure?"

"Yes Darry, I did the last bit when I got back from Tara's."

"Good. So, tomorrow we need to pick up around here a bit. The guys from social services are due sometime next week for their check up and this place is looking like a bomb-site."

"It ain't that bad Darry." I groaned thinking about what a fun day tomorrow would be. Darry would be in bossy and efficient mode making us scrub every last inch of the house till it gleamed. All for a bunch of people who would probably turn their noses up at our worn and scruffy furniture, which no amount of cleaning could disguise. As far as I was concerned they should take us as we were and realise that we were all doing fine, whether or not our couch had worn arms and our rug had holes scuffed into it. What mattered was that we were all working hard, keeping out of trouble and Darry was looking after us all just fine. Thinking of them always put me in a bad mood, even without the added annoyance of having to clean.

"Not in your eyes, but in theirs it is and we need to care about what they think if we all want to stay here together, got it?" Darry said sternly, knowing I was about to start whinging.

"Got it." I grouched back.

As predicted the next day Darry forced us all to scrub and clean for hours on end. I got the living room, Soda got the kitchen, Pony his and Soda's bedroom, which was probably the biggest job as it was always the messiest room in the house and Darry did the bathroom and picked up the other bedrooms. We worked all morning and after lunch we did another hour before we all flopped. I was just lying on my bed reading when Tara arrived. Even though I was exhausted I was glad to have her company and we just chilled out in my room. We always seemed to find a lot to chat about, mostly gossip about other kids at school or Tara's latest crush. But we did also talk about more serious stuff sometimes. She was really good at listening to my moans about Social Services or my brothers or whatever else was on my mind, while I listened to her complaints about her Mom's latest boyfriend or her sister not letting her borrow her clothes. I was grateful for her friendship and it was nice to have a close girlfriend, being surrounded by too much testosterone most of the time.

I went to bed early that night with lots of thoughts swirling round in my mind. It had been a significant weekend. I was glad to have gone through the rite of passage of getting my period, but after 3 days of it it was already getting old and I wasn't looking forward to have to go through this every month for years to come. Be careful what you wish for, as my Dad always used to say! I was also thinking about what I would say to Matt tomorrow and about just seeing him again, which always brought a smile to my face.


	14. Chapter 14 - Rule and reassurance

**_Sorry that we still haven't got to the party in this chapter. There were various things I needed to cover, some preparing the way for future events and it just got too long to include the party as well. I promise it is coming in the next chapter._**

Chapter 14

Rule and reassurance

Monday morning at school our homeroom teacher, Mr Hargreaves, handed us all out a letter from the principal, which prompted a whole series of groans. The letter announced a new school policy about students leaving the premises during lunch break. Up till now students in 7th and 8th grade were allowed to leave at lunchtime and go off the school campus for lunch. Apparently there had been too many complaints from local residents and shopkeepers about students misbehaving and some students were just not bothering to show back up for school in the afternoon. So, the new rule was now that only students whose parent or guardian signed a permission slip taking responsibility for the child's behaviour off the school grounds, would be allowed off the school premises during lunch.

As you can imagine this was not a popular idea amongst us students. I was hoping against hope that I would be able to get Darry to sign a slip for me, but I had a feeling he would not see any reason to do so and would rather I was safely ensconced in school than off somewhere else at lunchtime. This of course would put the kibosh on my meeting Matt for lunch anymore. We would have to find some other way of getting together.

On the way to our next class Tara and I walked along with Caro and her friends.

"Can you believe this crap?" I asked, waving the letter in my hand. "What a stupid rule!"

"Yeah, Mr Roberts loves coming up with new ways to make his students lives more miserable. There's nothing he likes better than spoiling our fun." Griped Caro.

"I bet your Mom will sign for you won't she?" Tara asked her.

"Yeah, but it ain't much use if none of my friends are allowed out."

"I'm sure Darry will love this new rule – he ain't gonna be in any rush to sign a slip for me to go out. It really stinks!"

"I don't get how they will know who is in or out anyway." Tara pointed out.

"I don't know, but I'm sure they've thought of a way, It's becoming more and more like a prison here every day." Trish muttered angrily. She knew her Mom and Dad weren't gonna give permission, they would be happy to avoid her getting into more trouble with Caro by keeping her in school. 'Oh well' I thought to myself. I'm still gonna go and meet Matt today, even if it may be our last lunch date for a while.

Tara waved me off later that day as I climbed into the back of Mark's car and sat down next to Matt. Matt gave me a gentle kiss on the lips and then I proceeded to tell him about Principal Robert's latest edict. Matt was as annoyed about it as I was.

"Well, if you're not allowed out of school then we'll just have to meet at school instead won't we?" he said.

"Do you think so?"

"Yeah, the rule only says you aren't allowed out, it doesn't say anything about people coming to visit at lunchtime. We can always meet on the playing field or in the parking lot. That's if you want to?"

"Well, of course I want to!" I exclaimed grinning. "I just hadn't thought of that."

"Well, it takes a genius to figure these things out you know?" Matt joked, earning a slap on the thigh from me.

We went to Jay's and I had my usual Cheeseburger, which I had become addicted to over the past few weeks. We chatted about school and home, Matt's song writing and all the usual stuff then I decided to bite the bullet and ask what I had been planning to since my discussion with Tara.

"So, Matt?" I began nervously.

"Yes Sweetie." He looked me in the eye, sensing my tone had turned serious.

"There's something I need to ask you about and I want you to be totally honest with me."

"Ok, of course I will." He said cautiously.

"Well, I'm really happy with how things are between us and how far we've gone in our relationship, ya know, making out and all." I blushed violently at this point, but I just had to ask him. "I'm not really ready to go any further though. You know I really like you and being with you, but I am only 12 going on 13 and I know you're that bit older and maybe it's not enough for you. Maybe you'd like to be doing more, but I'm just not ready for that. I just wanted to give you the chance to say how you feel about it and to move on if it's not gonna work for you."

"What? Why would I want to move on from you Becky? You're all I need and I don't care if we don't ever do more than kissing. I just like being with you and talking and having fun with you. Not that I don't enjoy kissing you or don't feel that way about you. I do, but I don't want to do anything that would make you scared or uncomfortable and I know you are younger than me. I'm honestly not expecting anything else from you." He protested.

"I'm sorry Matt, I didn't mean to upset you."

"No Bex, I'm not upset with you. I'm glad you brought it up if it's been worrying you, but don't worry about it anymore ok? I want to be with you, not anybody else and I'm happy with how things are between us as long as you are happy."

I smiled at Matt feeling relief wash over me. I felt so lucky to have met such an amazing guy. I couldn't have asked for more reassurance than he had just given me and I felt confident about our relationship again.

"You are so good to me." I said quietly.

"You're good to me too, don't forget! You make me very happy."

"You too." I replied squeezing his hand across the table.

Our goodbye kiss that day was the best one ever. I just felt so loved and special. I hoped I made Matt feel that way too.

"Shall we meet by the scoreboard at the back of the playing field on Wednesday then? I know it's a bit cold for a picnic but we'll manage." Matt said.

"Sounds like a good plan, ok. Bye Matt." I blew him a kiss and walked off to class feeling much more hopeful than I had at the start of lunch. I was reassured about our relationship and that we had found a way to meet in spite of the stupid new rule. I would still see if Darry would sign though. It was worth a try.

When Darry got home from work that night he seemed in a pretty good mood so I didn't hesitate to ask him over dinner about signing the permission slip.

"So, Darry." I asked, spooning some tuna and pasta onto my plate. "Can you sign something for school for me?" I started off vague in the vain hope that he might sign without needing to know more. Of course that would never happen!

He looked at me sharply "Not another detention I hope, Becky?"

"No, it's nothing like that. I love the way you always assume the worst!"

"I've learnt to assume the worst, that way I'm pleasantly surprised when it's not."

"Well, thanks for the vote of confidence, Dar." I said and Pony laughed whilst Darry just ignored my sarcasm.

"So, what have I gotta sign?"

"Principal Roberts has changed the rules about 8th graders going off the school premises at lunchtime. So I need you to sign a slip to say I'm allowed out during lunch."

"Well, why do you need to go out of school during lunch? When do you ever do that? You always eat at school don't you? I don't see the need to sign any permission slip, I'd rather you didn't go off out of school anyway. At least if you're there I know you're safe and I know where you are."

"Oh, but Darry, it's just for in case I need to, ya know? Can't you just sign it and then the option's there if I need it." I pleaded.

"I'm with Darry on this one Bex. You don't need to go out of school during lunch. You're too young to be wandering around town on your own and there's nowhere to go anyway without a car."

I huffed in irritation and folded my arms across my chest, even Soda was against me now.

"What if I wanted to meet Pony or Two-bit for lunch or something?" I pouted, clutching at straws now, trying to think of a good reason for Darry to sign. Of course, I never met them for lunch and it had never crossed my mind to do so.

Soda raised his eyebrows and smirked. "When do you ever meet Pony or Two-bit for lunch?"

"Well, I haven't yet, but now I couldn't even if I wanted to because Darry won't sign that slip."

"Sorry Bex, I still ain't signing. If there is some good reason you need to go somewhere at lunchtime I will sign a slip then or write a letter, but I ain't doing it now and I don't see why you're getting so het up about it."

Well, I had guessed that would be Darry's response to this whole thing but I was still annoyed. I bet everyone else's parents were signing and I'd been the only one stuck at school the whole time. I huffed again and banged my spoon down on the table.

"And you can stop huffing and banging around, little girl, or you can go to your room for the rest of the evening."

I bit my lip to stop myself from answering back and I just carried on eating silently. Soda tried to lighten the atmosphere by starting a new conversation about some funny incident that had happened at work, but I wasn't in the mood to join in or be cheered up, so I stayed silent for the rest of dinner.

It was my turn to do the dishes and once I had finished I went and flopped on the couch next to Soda, who was looking at some car magazine. Darry appeared as if from nowhere and told me to go finish my homework. I rolled my eyes and shuffled off to my room, resisting the very strong urge to slam the door extremely hard.

I didn't feel like doing homework so instead I looked through my wardrobe trying to decide on an outfit for Matt's party on Saturday. I couldn't decide between a pale green mini dress which Tara had recently passed onto me when she outgrew it, or some jeans and a shirt. I didn't know how dressed up people would be. I knew Tara would tell me to wear the dress if she were here. Oh well, I would just have to decide on the spur of the moment on Saturday.

Darry knocked on my door and before I could sit at my desk and pretend I had been doing homework all along, he walked in. His face dropped when he found me standing there with the bed covered in outfits.

"What the heck are you doing Becky? What kind of homework is this?"

I looked down to avoid his angry gaze and muttered "Sorry Darry, I was just trying to decide what to wear on Saturday."

"Well Kiddo, you won't be going on Saturday if you are behind on your homework, so I suggest you stop with the fashion parade and get down to some work."

I moved over to my desk and slumped down into the chair, picking up my history textbook and glancing back at Darry, who was still watching me.

"Are you gonna stand and watch me?" I sassed.

"Maybe you oughta come and do it at the kitchen table as you can't be trusted to do it in here."

"I'm doing it Darry, you don't have to keep nagging me."

"Watch your tone, Rebecca. I'm coming back in 30 minutes to see how much you've done."

"Ok" I mumbled.

By the time Darry came back I had finished my history and was halfway through my only other homework, which was math.

"I'm nearly done Dar."

"Good girl, that's more like it." I cringed at the 'good girl', it always made me feel like I was about 4 when he called me that. "Bring the math out for me to check when you're done."

"Sure, thanks Darry." Darry had always been real good at math, so I actually did appreciate him checking it over and catching my mistakes before I handed it in. I sighed with relief as I finished the last problem then handed my book to Darry in the living room and joined Pony on the couch. He was watching some quiz show. It was already 9.30.

"Pretty good Becky." Darry smiled as he handed the math back to me. "Only one wrong."

"Thanks, I'll go put it right in a minute."

"Ok you two, another 30 minutes then you'd better turn in."

"Sure" Pony and I both answered. I stretched out on the couch and put my feet in Pony's lap, anticipating a complaint from him, but he didn't push them off and just rested his left hand on my ankle. It was nice when Pony showed me a bit of affection, as he mostly just seemed to see me as an irritation. Before I knew it I had dozed off on the couch and Darry was shaking me awake.

"Come on Bex, go get ready for bed." I dragged myself up and got ready in a half-awake daze, then thankfully slipped into bed.

Luckily Wednesday was quite a mild day for November, around 55 F, so meeting outside for lunch with Matt didn't involve freezing our toes off. It wouldn't be long though before having lunch outside would just be impossible, unless we wanted to get hypothermia! Matt was there waiting under the scoreboard when I arrived and there was nobody else around, which was perfect. We ate our lunch, peanut butter and jelly for me again and ham and cheese for Matt. We chatted mostly about Matt's party. He had invited around 20 people and had ordered a load of Mexican food to be delivered. His parents were going out for the evening, but would be back by midnight so the party wouldn't be going on late. They had said he could order some beer for the occasion, but not a whole lot, so it would hopefully not get too out of hand.

I couldn't imagine Darry ever letting Pony or I order beer for a party at our house when we were turning 16! There was usually beer around at our place. Darry drunk the odd one in the evening after work, usually after Pony and I were in bed. Steve drank and Two-bit of course always seemed to have a beer in his hand. But everyone was under strict instructions never to offer any to Pony and me, under pain of death! Pony had gotten drunk once, a few months after Mom and Dad died and Darry had gone crazy. He'd never done it again, as far as I knew. I was curious to try drinking at some point, but not bothered enough to do anything about it just yet.

The one advantage of not being in the diner for lunch was that Matt and I had a lot more making out time, since there was nobody around to see us. We did a lot of kissing and Matt's hands stroked up and down my back and touched my face and hair. I mirrored his gestures and after one particularly long make out session we were both pretty breathless. For the first time I could see the temptation to go further, but I knew we shouldn't. Matt obviously felt the same, as he shifted back from me slightly and sighed. "Bex, you are something else! I think it's gonna be difficult not to get carried away if we meet here too often. Maybe next time we should meet in the parking lot where there are more people around."

I smiled. "Yeah, it's hard to stop ain't it?"

Matt reached over and stroked my cheek. "You're telling me, but we've gotta be sensible. We don't wanna do anything in the heat of the moment that either of us regrets later. I don't want us to move faster than we should just cos we have the opportunity to!"

"I know. We'd better head back anyway, before we're late for class." I said reluctantly.

We were just having one last goodbye kiss when we were interrupted.

"Becky Curtis! I never would have thought it!" We quickly pulled apart. It was Caro, Trish, Melanie and Susie.

I blushed and smiled. "Er, hi guys. This is my friend Matt."

"Yeah right, your 'friend'" Caro scoffed.

Matt coughed nervously. "Bex, I'd better be going. You gonna be ok?"

"Yeah, I'll walk back with these guys. See ya Saturday."

Matt gave me one last peck on the cheek and squeezed my hand, then he set off across the playing field towards the high school.

"Well, you're a dark horse Becky!" said Susie laughing.

"Yeah, with a soc as well. How did you manage to pick him up?" Trish sneered.

"We met at the high school dance in September."

"You mean, you've been seeing him for 2 months and managed to keep it quiet?" asked Melanie.

I shrugged. "My brothers don't know about it, so we don't advertise it."

"Well, I'm impressed, Matt Carter is quite a catch. His brother Andy is some big basketball star ain't he?" Caro asked. "My sister used to have a thing for him."

"Yeah. Don't say anything about this to anyone else will ya? The only one who knows here is Tara. The less people who know the better. Less chance of it getting back to my brothers that way."

"Sure, we won't tell anyone." Caro assured me. "Right guys?" The other girls nodded.

It would actually be quite nice to have a few more people who knew about Matt and me. Tara could be spared the burden of being the only one I could offload to! I knew they wouldn't tell anyone, at least not my brothers or their friends, so that was all that mattered.


	15. Chapter 15 - The visit and the party

Chapter 15

**The Visit and The Party**

The rest of the week went by fairly uneventfully. Just the usual school, homework and crazy guys causing chaos round our house. Tara and I hung out with Caro and the others more often now at school, though I rarely went to the bleachers with them in case Pony, Steve and Two-bit were there. Pony had a thing about them being trouble so I knew he'd report back to Darry if he saw me with them and Darry would not be happy, having warned me to stay clear. I didn't see the problem. They were fun to be around and usually had some funny story to tell about stuff they got up to out of school. I had no desire to get involved with anything illegal or dangerous, but it was still fun to hear about it!

On Friday evening the lady from social services finally came for our 6 monthly visit. We had a day's notice so when she arrived at 5.00 the house and all of us were clean and tidy. Mrs Parsons was a small, thin lady with a disdainful look permanently fixed on her face, even when she was trying to smile.

"I'll take a look around the house first." She said in her snooty voice, having refused Darry's offer of a drink. I sat on the couch feeling cross and nervous. I hated these visits, we all did. They brought to the surface our underlying fear of our family being split up, which was the threat hanging over us if we somehow weren't measuring up. I watched with anger as she turned her nose up at the contents of our fridge and peered into every nook and cranny.

"Everything seems to be clean." She sounded almost reluctant to admit it. "But the whole place could do with a lick of paint."

I saw Darry flinch at her comment. He did very well at hiding his anger at this intrusion, but it wasn't easy when someone was criticising your home and your running of it in the case of Darry. Pony, Soda and I were all sat in a row on the couch ready for the next part, which was 'the chat'. She asked us all sorts of questions about school, grades, friends, Soda's and Darry's work, basically everything and anything.

"So, I see you are growing up into a beautiful young lady Rebecca." She said to me, but somehow making it sound like a bad thing. "Do you have a boyfriend?"

What I really wanted to say to her was 'mind your own business you old hag'. Instead I stammered "I don't see wh…"

Darry interrupted me with a hard stare and answered for me. "She's only 12 Mrs Parsons, she doesn't have boyfriends yet."

Well, at least that way I didn't have to lie to her. I hoped she didn't read anything into my blush.

"Well you are going to have your work cut out Darrel. She is going to have all the boys after her in a year or two."

I rolled my eyes and Darry glared at me again. I honestly didn't mean to be rude, but really she was the most annoying person.

"I'm sure we can handle it." Darry answered tersely.

Finally she got up to leave telling us she would be back in 6 months for the next check. I breathed a sigh of relief as the screen door shut behind her. Darry turned round to me pointing his finger.

"You were walking a fine line there young lady." He said sternly.

"What?" I asked innocently.

"You know what; rolling your eyes at her and not answering her questions politely. You know better that to be rude to her."

"I wasn't rude, but you have to admit Darry, she is obnoxious."

Soda grinned "She's right Darry."

"Yeah, that still don't make it alright to get on her bad side. Next time you better smarten up your attitude Rebecca." He stalked off and Soda squeezed his arm around my shoulders affectionately.

"She was right about one thing, you are beautiful and we are gonna have to keep an eye on you once boys are on the scene."

"Soda!" I protested. Thankfully he didn't know that it was a bit too late for that.

Finally Saturday night came around. Darry was gonna drop Pony, Tara and me off at Matt's place and Soda would pick us up. Of course Matt lived on the other side of town in a very nice neighbourhood. He wasn't the richest of the rich socs, but his family were definitely wealthy. I had never seen his house, but I knew it had 5 bedrooms, a huge garden and an apartment attached to the kitchen where their Mexican maid lived. So all in all a very different lifestyle to what my family were used to.

I was feeling a bit nervous about the party, but mostly excited. Tara came round beforehand to help me with my make-up. She persuaded me to go for the mini-dress of course and I wore it with my black pumps. Once I was showered and dressed Tara started in on my make-up.

"Not so much as you put on for the dance Tara. Darry and Soda will have a fit and tell me to wipe it right off!"

Tara laughed "Ok, I'll tone it down a bit this time."

When she was done I checked myself in the mirror. I was pleased with my hair, which was flowing down to my shoulders in soft waves, as I'd put it in curlers that afternoon, much to Two-Bit's amusement. The make-up was was just enough to look pretty without looking like one of the greasy girls who hung around Soda at the DX every weekend. The dress was cute and the colour matched my eyes. It was a little on the short side, but that was the fashion.

"You look gorgeous Bex. Matt will love it!"

I smiled "Thanks Tara. What would I do without you? You look gorgeous too. That dress is so cool!" She was wearing a black and white check mini-dress and her hair was held back by a black hair band. She looked like Petula Clarke or Mary Quant, but with long black hair!

Pony hollered that it was time to go and I grabbed Matt's birthday present and Tara and I went out into the living room. Of course everyone was there as usual for a Saturday evening.

Two-Bit whistled "Well, who are these 2 gorgeous ladies and do y'all need a date for the night?"

"Shutup Two-Bit, we're not that desperate." I answered.

"Ahh, rejected again Two-Bit." Steve put his arm round him with a smirk.

"Becky, don't you think that skirt's a bit short?" Soda asked with a frown.

"I've seen Sarah wearing skirts much shorter than this one Soda and you don't seem to mind" I commented.

" She's got a point." Said Two-Bit.

"Sarah ain't 12 and neither am I."

"Oh, come on Soda, this is fine. It covers everything it needs to." I didn't want to have to go and get changed after having spent so long choosing this outfit. Darry wandered in from the kitchen having overheard the conversation.

"Leave her be Soda. She looks cute and she ain't indecent."

I was surprised at Darry taking my side on this, but very pleased.

"Ok you guys have fun and be good. Steve and I will pick you up at 11.00, ok?"

"Thanks Soda." Said Pony.

"Bye!"

We followed Darry out to the truck and Pony sat in the truck bed while Tara and I squished into the front with Darry.

"You girls stick with Pony tonight, ok? Remember Bex, no drinking and if anyone gets fresh with you you tell Pony straight away or you knee them in the crotch, ok?"

I laughed at Darry's instructions. "I ain't kidding Bex. These are 10th graders, not junior high kids and they might try to take advantage of you. You too Tara. You need to be careful. I don't know why I even agreed to you going."

"Cos you're a kind and thoughtful big brother who loves his little sister and wants her to enjoy life?"

"Maybe something like that." Darry grinned. "Like I said, stick with Ponyboy. He'll look after you both, ya hear?"

"Loud and clear Darry. Don't worry we'll be fine."

"Well, this Matt kid sure ain't short of money by the looks of his house. It's a damn mansion!"

"Yeah well, you can't judge a guy on that, he can't help having money, Darry."

"Sure, just be careful ok?" We had stopped by the curb at the end of Matt's driveway and Pony had jumped out of the back of the truck. "You too Pony." Darry spoke to him through the window. "No drinking and any sign of trouble you call home and I'll pick you up early ok? You keep an eye on Bex and Tara."

"Sure Darry, everything will be fine, don't you worry. Matt is a decent guy and his folks will even be around for some of the time anyway. See ya Darry, relax."

"I can't relax with you guys all out at a high school party. This is bad for my nerves I tell ya."

Pony and I laughed. "Go home and enjoy the peace and quiet Dar."

"Sure. Bye guys have fun, but not too much!" Darry said and then finally drove off.

Matt opened the door and greeted us with a big smile.

"Hi guys, great to see you, come on in and grab yourselves a drink."

"Happy Birthday Matt!" said Pony.

"Thanks Ponyboy. Go on into the kitchen." Matt ushered Pony and Tara in and while their backs were to us he winked at me, gave my hand a quick squeeze and gave me a peck on the cheek, whispering in my ear "You look beautiful."

I blushed and grinned at him. I hoped Pony knew some other people here or there would be no chance to be alone with Matt all evening. Tara grabbed a beer and Pony and I both took a Pepsi. Neither of us wanted to face the wrath of Darry for drinking! Matt's friend, Carl wandered into the kitchen and Tara wasted no time in chatting to him. Soon they were deep in conversation so Pony and I went through to the living room to see what was going on and who else was there. Matt had gone to answer the door again.

The room was huge with 3 couches around the edge and a huge rug in the middle, as well as lots of expensive looking paintings on the walls and ornaments on the shelves. There were about 7 or 8 people sitting chatting and a couple of them dancing to the Beatles track which was playing. Pony wrinkled his nose up at the music. He hated the Beatles almost as much as he hated Hank Williams. I didn't mind them.

A tall blonde girl with brown eyes wandered over to say 'Hi'. She obviously knew Ponyboy.

"Hi Ponyboy, it's great you could come. Is this your date?"

"No!" Pony exclaimed in horror. Alright, I thought, you don't have to sound quite so disgusted at the idea someone may think I was your date! "This is my little sister, Becky."

"Oh, hi Becky, I'm Deborah, good to meet you."

"You too."

"Pony's in my English class." She explained.

"Oh I see."

Pony and Deborah carried on chatting about people and events I knew nothing about, so I thought I'd leave them to it and seek out Matt to give him his present. I found him in another room, but this one had beanbags and a tv and record player and was some kind of den.

"Hey Bex." Matt greeted me and put his arm round my shoulders. "Come and meet some of my friends. This is Eddie, this is James and this is Lara."

"Hi." I said shyly and they all said 'hi' back.

"This is Becky. She's a good friend of mine." Matt explained with his arm still securely around me and I blushed thinking of how good a friend. "She's Ponyboy's sister." They all nodded, pleased to make a connection about who the heck I was.

"So do you go to our school? I don't remember seeing you around before." Asked Lara, sounding somewhat annoyed for some reason.

"Nah, I'm in the 8th grade, so I'll be at the high school next year." Lara was staring at me rather coldly and I felt distinctly uncomfortable under her gaze and wondered what her problem was. She looked like the archetypal soc to me, so maybe she just didn't like greasers like me and Pony.

"Excuse us." Said Matt. "I'm just going to give Becky a tour of the house." I was relieved to get out of there as he led me through to some kind of games room, with a big pool table in the middle. I was surprised to find Pony in there playing pool with Deborah and 2 other guys. He raised his hand to acknowledge me, but then carried on focusing on the game. I was pleased that he hadn't followed Darry's instructions to the letter and kept Tara and me in full sight at all times.

I nudged Matt "Hey, while Pony's busy shall we go and sit on the porch for a bit and I can give you your present."

Matt smiled "Sounds like a good plan, you shouldn't have got me anything though, really."

"I wanted to and anyway it ain't much. I don't really have any money so it either had to be something free or something stolen!"

We had made our way out onto the large porch at the back of the house which overlooked the long lawn, dotted with flowers and some large fruit trees at the end. Matt raised his eyebrows. "Which did you opt for?"

"Free." I grinned. "I didn't think Darry would be too pleased if I got hauled in for shop lifting a present for my boyfriend who he doesn't even know about."

"I see your point. Free does sound like the better option. Here, let's sit." He guided me over to a swing seat on the left-hand side of the porch. I offered him the small package containing the index cards.

"I'm sorry it's not a proper present." I apologised.

"It's from you Bex, so it's already my favourite present and I bet it will be anyway, cos I bet nobody put as much thought into their present as you have. You're one of the few people who really knows me after all." He peeled off the tissue paper and smiled as he looked through the cards.

"This is so sweet and thoughtful Bex. Thank you."

"Do you really like it?"

"Of course I do. So do I get to cash these in whenever I want or are there rules?"

"Well some of them require a bit of planning and I may have to limit you to one a week, as I don't know if I will be able to get out more often than that anyway!"

"This is my favourite." He said picking out one of the cards. " 'A make-out session in the location of your choice (within reason!).' I think I'd like to cash that one in right here and right now." He grinned impishly.

"Ok, as long as no-one is going to come and catch us out here."

"Nah, no-one will be coming out here. It's too cold for that. That's why I need you to warm me up."

"So corny!" I exclaimed smiling "But ok."

He leaned in towards me and we held each other close as our lips locked and we began kissing. I closed my eyes and just enjoyed the sensation of his lips on mine and his hand on my waist, while the other one held the side of my face. Neither of us noticed the arrival of someone on the porch until he spoke.

"Becky! Is that you?"

My stomach flipped as I realised Ponyboy was there on the porch and had been looking right at us kissing.

"Pony!" was all I could say as Matt turned around to look at him.

"Matt!" Pony exclaimed this time. "What….?" Pony couldn't seem to be able to string a sentence together he was so surprised at what he had seen. "What the heck are you doing kissing my sister?" he found his words at last and moved threateningly towards Matt, who was now standing up.

"Ponyboy, I'm sorry you had to find us like that…." Matt began.

"So am I!" said Pony "Becky, are you alright? He didn't force himself on you or something did he?"

I shook my head finding I was at a loss for words too.

"What's going on here Becky? You're saying you wanted Matt to ….do that? You are in such big trouble when I tell Darry about this."

"No Pony, you can't do that. Please."

"I gotta tell him that you were kissing some guy at the party. Have you been drinking Bex? is that it? This ain't like you Becky. And you Matt. I thought you were a decent guy. I never thought you'd take advantage of my little sister." Pony grabbed the front of Matt's shirt.

"Ponyboy, let him go. Listen, he ain't taking advantage of me. We are kinda together. We have been since the dance. Remember, I told you we had that dance together, well we kinda hit it off and we have been spending time together since then."

"How have you managed that without anyone knowing about it?"

" We've been meeting at lunchtime at school." I admitted.

"What do you want with my sister Matt? She's only 12 years old ya know? Why would you wanna date her above anybody else?"

Thanks Ponyboy, way to make me feel special, I thought.

"Well for one she's beautiful." Pony made a disgusted face. "She's funny, she's sensitive, she's a great listener, she's…."

"Alright, alright, I get it. You think she's wonderful!" Pony said sarcastically.

"Basically." Said Matt "I'm sorry to have had to keep this quiet Ponyboy, but we knew that Darry and Soda and you would probably not approve and try to stop us seeing each other and we couldn't let that happen."

"We just get on so well Pony, we get each other. You know as well as I do that Matt is a decent guy and he ain't gonna take advantage of me. He's been nothing but sweet and kind to me, but I know that Darry won't be interested to hear about any of that. He'll just hear '16 year old boy' and go crazy about it. If you tell him he'll kill me and I'll never be allowed out again for the rest of my life. But most importantly I will be miserable if I can't be with Matt." Despite myself I found I was crying.

Pony was actually listening, to his credit and his anger was dying down. "Matt I know you're a good guy, but I'm still not comfortable with you touching my little sister."

"I'm 12 Pony, not 6. I am old enough to have a boyfriend."

"I'm not sure Darry would agree, or Soda come to that."

"I know." I admitted looking down and wiping the tears from my cheeks as I felt despair at the situation.

"Ok." Said Pony eventually. "I won't tell, but I want you to tell me when and where you are meeting so I can make sure you're safe Bex."

I couldn't believe he was being so understanding. I had just assumed our luck had run out and this would be the end of Matt and me. If Pony was willing to keep quiet then I was definitely willing to keep him informed about my whereabouts if that would give him peace of mind.

"Ok." I agreed.

"And Matt, if you ever do anything to hurt my sister in any way, you will have me, my brothers and the rest of the gang to deal with."

Matt nodded. "I understand. I wouldn't do anything to hurt Becky, she's the best thing that's ever happened to me."

I smiled. "Thanks Ponyboy. I really appreciate you keeping this quiet – thank you!" I put my arms around him and gave him a hug. He pushed me off.

"Alright, alright, don't go overboard." He wasn't used to getting hugs from me and it made him uncomfortable. "The first sign of any trouble though Becky and I will spill the beans." I didn't know what he meant by trouble, but I was happy to agree to anything he said at that moment.

"What did you come out here for anyway Pony?"

"I just wanted a smoke, mind if I do?"

"No, go ahead." Said Matt.

"Ponyboy, thanks for being so reasonable about this. I promise I will look after Becky and treat her as she deserves."

Pony nodded and sucked on his cigarette, still uncomfortable with talking about the whole girl/boy thing and especially when it involved his little sister.

The rest of the party Matt and I stayed together, but not alone. Pony was keeping a much closer eye on me now that he knew there was something to watch out for. I could tell that Lara was not happy about the whole situation with Matt and me. Matt didn't seem to notice, but she kept on shooting me evil stares all evening. Tara was getting on extremely well with Carl. I had only managed a brief conversation with her all evening, which mainly consisted of her squealing and telling me how wonderful Carl was. By the end of the party they were ensconced in an armchair in the corner getting up-close and personal, Tara sitting on Carl's lap while they kissed.

I had to interrupt them at 11.00 as we had promised to wait outside for Soda and Steve. Tara clutched a piece of paper with Carl's phone number and giggled excitedly as we stood out on the driveway. She had had quite a few beers, but at least some of her high came from her success with Carl. I was pleased for her that things had apparently worked out so well and I hoped that he would be as good for her as Matt was for me.

Steve and Soda pulled up with a squeal of brakes just after 11.00 and we all squeezed into the back of the car. Soda immediately noticed Tara's inebriated state then eyed both Pony and me suspiciously. He seemed satisfied that we hadn't been drinking and just gave Tara a stern look.

"Is your Mom happy for you to drink Tara?" he asked her.

"Not exactly happy." She grinned "But she won't care too much."

Soda rolled his eyes, obviously disapproving of his sister's 13 year old best friend getting drunk. "You know you are too young to be drinking Tara. You could put yourself in all sorts of dangerous situations when you're drunk."

"I'm fine Soda, nothing happened to me." She slurred.

"You're lucky this time."

"Leave her alone Soda." I defended her. "She's fine."

"Well, don't you go and get it into your head to do the same Rebecca, you hear me?" Soda was unusually stern.

"I hear you big brother. I don't know why I'm getting told off when I haven't done anything wrong. I haven't got any plans to go out and get drunk, ok?"

"Good. Anyway, was it a good party?"

"Yeah," Pony said "It was great. Hey, do you think Darry will let me throw a party when I turn 16?"

Soda smiled and shrugged. "Dunno Buddy, you've got a year and a half to work on him though!"

Darry was waiting up when we got home to get a full report on the party and probably to make sure we hadn't been drinking. Soda told him about Tara and he looked angry.

"Don't you even think about following in her footsteps Becky or you Pony." he waved his finger at me.

"I won't Darry, I already had the same lecture from Soda. Look, I didn't drink a drop tonight, did I? Tara and I are best friends but it doesn't mean we behave exactly the same all the time does it?"

"Well, bear in mind, if you do – either of you – I will skin your behinds in a heartbeat!"

"Ok Darry" I sighed, tired of this conversation. I had no plan to go out and get drunk so I wished they would just get off my case. I took myself off to bed and managed to shake off my irritation and focus on thoughts of Matt as I drifted off to sleep. I was still amazed at Ponyboy's reaction to finding out about us, that he was prepared to keep it under wraps. It may come in useful having him in the know.

**_Thanks to FrankElza for reviewing – is anyone else still reading this? Please review and let me know what you think, even if it is bad!_**


	16. Chapter 16 - Fight and Punishment

**_Apologies to the anonymous reviewer who was offended by a 12 year old dating a 16 year old. Becky is soon to turn 13, so the age gap is 3 years, which I thought was feasible and something which can and does happen. Also, part of the plot is the issue of the age gap and Becky and Matt dealing with their feelings around that, as well as the fact that her brothers would never approve. So, I hope that explains a bit more why I chose to do that._**

Chapter 16

**Fight and punishment**

I slept late on Sunday morning, as late as Darry would let me, which was 10.30. In fact, after Darry's initial wake up yell, it was actually Pony who came into my room. I presumed he was gonna launch a tickle-attack, as this was the usual method my brothers used to get me out of bed.

"Ok Pone, I'm getting up" I said quickly sitting up. Pony shut the door behind him, which was unusual and said,

"No, it's ok Becky, I ain't gonna jump on you. I just wanted to talk to you about Matt."

"Oh." I wondered if he had changed his mind about keeping a lid on things and I hoped I was wrong.

"It's ok, I'm not gonna rat you out to Darry and Soda."

I breathed a sigh of relief and smiled at Pony, as he sat on my bed. "Thanks Pony."

"I'm still not sure how I feel about you being with a boy and especially a 16 year old, but I know Matt and I do trust that he ain't gonna try anything and he ain't gonna hurt you. So, for now, I won't say anything."

"Honestly Pony, I know I can trust him. He doesn't wanna take things too far. I told him I'm not ready for anything like that and he understands. I know he cares about me and he won't let you down Pony."

"I don't wanna think about how far you two have gone already…"

"Only kissing Ponyboy, that's all and that's all there will be."

Pony rolled his eyes looking repulsed at the thought of someone kissing me, or maybe just at the thought of kissing in general!

"I told ya, I don't wanna have that picture in my mind! Just be sensible. When are you next meeting up?"

"Monday at lunch break. Cos of this new rule we're gonna just meet in the Junior High parking lot, seeing as I can't go off the school grounds."

"Well, maybe I should be there."

"What? No, Pony, you don't need to do that. There'll be hundreds of kids around, so we ain't gonna get carried away. We're just gonna eat our lunch and talk, that's all."

"Sure." Pony said sarcastically.

"Ok, well we may just kiss a bit."

Pony put his hands over his ears."La, la la, I can't hear you!" he said.

I laughed "Well, you're the one that brought it up!"

"Ok, well as long as I know that's where you'll be I feel a bit more reassured. I'll see Matt on Monday afternoon anyway, so I will check with him that you left in one piece."

I rolled my eyes at him. "What on earth do you think is gonna happen to me and if Matt had had his wicked way with me he wouldn't exactly share it with you, would he?"

"Nothing is gonna happen to you, I hope, but I'm sure I'd be able to tell from the way he's acting if Matt had anything to hide."

"Hey" said Darry coming into my room, surprised to find Ponyboy and I deep in conversation. "What are you two up to?"

"Nothing." Said Pony, his usual non-communicative self when it came to Darry.

"Pony just came in to get me up and we were chatting about the party. There was some girl from his English class there."

"Oh really?" Darry asked with a grin and raised his eyebrows at Pony. Pony turned scarlet and glared at me. I tried to look repentant, realising I probably shouldn't be winding him up right now if I wanted to keep on his good side.

"Shut up Rebecca! If you mean Deborah, she's just a friend, that's all. I don't know why you even said that."

"Sorry Pone, you're just too easy to tease." I grinned and ducked as he went to give me a slap up side my head.

"Don't hit your little sister Ponyboy!" said Darry, but he had a huge smile on his face, pleased that Pony may at last be showing some interest in girls, even if he didn't want to admit it.

"Becky go ahead and shower. It's nearly lunch time and you ain't even had breakfast yet."

"It is the weekend Dar."

"Yeah well, the weekend is wasting while you lie here in bed you big lazybones."

I smiled "Ok, I'll just hop in the shower."

After lunch Darry was onto me about homework again. Seriously he never lets up about it! Soon enough it'll be time for report cards and I don't think he's gonna be too thrilled with my grades so far this semester. I haven't really had my head in the game since Johnny and Dally died and now with Matt on the scene there are so many other things to be thinking about.

I tried to get on with my English assignment. If I produced something good maybe I could up my grade a bit, as it was the subject I was doing worst in. This was partly due, I'm sure, to the teacher. I had to write a story based on 3 random pictures we had been given. I had a cat, a glass bottle and a mud hut. So, I hurriedly wrote a story about a talking cat, who got stranded on a desert island, built himself a mud hut and sent a message in a bottle, only to be rescued by a ship owned by a Duchess. The cat was taken to live in her mansion where she fell in love with him and broke the spell he had been under, turning him back into a prince. I had my Dad's love of fairy tales, which he read to me at bedtime when I was little, to thank for the way my mind worked and I was also a sucker for a happy ending!

I went to bed that night feeling happier than I had in some time. I felt happy that Pony knew my secret, so I no longer had to deceive ALL of my brothers. I was on good terms with Darry and Soda at the moment and not in trouble for once. And I had managed to do that darn English assignment which had been hanging over me all week. All was right with the world. Little did I know that feeling would be very short-lived.

As planned I met Matt in the parking lot for lunch on Monday. He proudly arrived in his new black Stingray which he had got for his birthday and we no longer needed a chauffeur now he was legal to drive by himself. We sat and chatted easily whilst we ate our sandwiches. Matt was feeling particularly pleased with a new song he had just finished, but was being very mysterious about it and said I couldn't hear it for a few more weeks. When it was time to go our separate ways we had a very satisfying kiss and I pre-warned Matt to expect a grilling from Ponyboy this afternoon.

I got back to the school building in good time and went to fetch the books I needed for that afternoon from my locker. I was just reclosing my locker when I was shoved forcefully from behind.

"Ouch! What the heck….?" I turned around to see a small group of soc girls from my grade. One of them, Sally, I recognised from a few of my classes. She was the one who spoke now.

"Hey Greaser, you've got ideas above your station, so I've heard." She sneered.

"What are you talking about?" I was truly bemused. I had no idea what her problem was.

"You've been throwing yourself at 10th grade boys who have far too much taste to ever fall for your type."

So she had a problem with Matt and me, now I understood. But, why was she so bothered and how did she even know about us?

"If you mean Matt Carter, then yes, he's my boyfriend." I said cooly, though I wasn't feeling so calm on the inside. This seemed to make Sally even more angry and she grabbed onto the front of my shirt and shoved her face in my face.

"There's no way that Matt Carter would ever look at a girl like you. He has always liked my sister Lara and they've been friends for years. There's no way he would ever choose a girl like you over my sister, they are far better suited and you need to keep your filthy low-life greaser paws off of him." She growled in my face.

Her words stung more than I wanted to admit. Being called a filthy low-life greaser was about the worst insult she could have flung at me. I knew I had the victory here since Matt WAS my boyfriend and he HAD chosen me over the likes of Lara, so obviously Sally's words came out of anger and impotence and not out of any basis in reality. I should have just laughed in her face and told her that her sister didn't stand a chance with Matt and that Matt liked me. But those words had produced a boiling rage inside me and instead I shoved her hard backwards, making her fall on her butt. In a moment she was up again and grabbing my hair. I grabbed hers back and slapped her arm, trying to make her let go of my hair. She did let go, but then she slapped me in the face. I swung my fist back and made contact with her cheek with a very satisfying 'Thwack!', just as Miss Jenkins, the deputy principal came along the corridor.

"What on earth is going on here?!" she shrieked. Sally had fallen to the floor again and was clutching her cheek where I had just hit her. Even though I knew we were in trouble, I felt a wave of satisfaction knowing that I had won and I had had the upper hand in this fight. All those years of wrestling with my brothers and their friends must have paid off.

"Miss Curtis, Miss Branson, both of you with me to the Principal's office, right now! This type of behaviour will not be tolerated in this school!"

We both walked in front of her down the corridor. I wondered what would happen. I had never been in trouble for fighting before and I had never been sent to the Principal's office. My heart was in my stomach and I began to regret my angry outburst. When we got to the office Miss Jenkins ordered us to sit on two seats outside while she went in and spoke to Mr Roberts. Then it was our turn to go in. We stood in front of his desk, both of us looking down at our feet.

"Miss Jenkins has told me that the two of you were engaged in some kind of brawl in the corridor. I am extremely disappointed in both of you girls. Both of you are intelligent enough to deal with your problems in a much more effective way than a physical fight. It is not acceptable and we will not tolerate this kind of behaviour on school property. I will be calling your father Miss Branson and your brother Miss Curtis. Both of you will have a 3 day suspension and you will have detention every day next week."

At the mention of Darry I felt physically sick. I hadn't even thought that he would have to be called in. He was working today and would be furious to have to leave his work and lose out on pay just in order to come and pick me up.

"Do either of you have anything to say for yourselves?"

I just shook my head, unable to even form a sentence at this point, if I spoke I would probably cry.

"Sorry Sir." Sally said sweetly. "It was just self-defence."

My anger reared up again at her blatant lie. "Yeah, _I_ was defending myself." I spat.

"Girls! I don't want to hear it. There is no good excuse for fighting." Mr Roberts boomed. "Now both of you can sit and wait outside the office until your Dad and brother come and I want no talking."

"Yes Sir," we both muttered, shuffling back out to take our seats.

What was Darry gonna say? What was he gonna do to me? I felt the blood running to my toes and thought I might pass out from anxiety. 40 minutes later, what seemed like an eternity waiting there outside the office, Sally's Dad, Mr Branson arrived.

"What happened Sweetheart?" he asked Sally, sounding concerned rather than angry.

"Daddy!" Sally exclaimed forcing out a few tears. "It wasn't my fault."

"I know Honey" he said putting his arm around her. Mr Roberts called him in to explain what had happened and to explain the punishment, then Sally and her Dad left, him consoling her as they walked along. She sneered at me as she walked by.

I had a feeling Darry's reaction would be rather different to that of Mr Branson. My fears were confirmed when Darry arrived some 30 minutes later and shot me a daggers look.

"Darry, I…."

"Can it Rebecca. I don't wanna hear it right now." He snapped back. I already felt tears beginning to well at Darry's anger. He went in for his chat with Mr Roberts, then came out and hauled me up by the arm.

"Come on!" he snarled and I hurriedly followed him trying to keep up with his long strides. We got into the truck and I stayed as far away from Darry as possible, squashing myself up against the door and avoided his gaze, staring down at my feet. Darry was breathing heavily, a sure sign of his anger and he drove us home without uttering a word and gripping tightly to the steering wheel.

When we got home I grabbed the door handle, ready to jump straight out.

"Go straight to your room and wait there for me." Darry barked. I blanched at those words. No, surely not this again. He had said he would skin my butt if I got into any more trouble at school, but I didn't think he would actually follow through. I had secretly hoped the first spanking had been a warning and that it was a one-off, never to be repeated, incident.

"Darry.." I whispered.

"Go!" he yelled and I quickly opened the truck door and ran inside, tears falling down my cheeks. I lay face down on my bed and sobbed. 5 minutes later Darry came in and spoke.

"Rebecca, do you have any sort of explanation for what happened at school today?"

I rolled over and sat up, trying to wipe away my tears with the back of my hand.

"Darry, this soc girl, Sally, just started laying into me and calling me every name under the sun. What was I meant to do? Just stand there and take it? She called me a filthy low-life greaser. I just got angry Darry and I hit her, but she already shoved me and grabbed me first." I said, trying to defend myself.

Darry tried not to yell, but I could still tell he was really mad.

"I understand that she was wrong to call you those things, I get that those things were hurtful, but that don't make it alright to lash out and hit her. I don't send you to school to get into fights Rebecca. You have to leave these differences outside of school. We can't afford for you to get suspensions on your record. What will that Mrs Parsons from social services say next time she comes round if you are getting into trouble like this at school? She could use this against us and say that I'm an unfit guardian."

"I'm sorry Darry." I said through my tears. "You ain't gonna spank me again are you?" I had to ask, I couldn't stand the suspense.

Darry sighed heavily. "I told you Becky, next time you got in trouble at school that's what I'd do." He said matter of factly.

"I promise I ain't gonna get into any more fights Darry." I said meekly.

"Sorry Becky, it's too late for that. I need you to understand I mean what I say and I need you to think twice before you get involved in a fight at school again. Come on, let's get this over with." He said firmly, but seemed almost as reluctant about this as I was. He sat down on the bed like last time and waited for me to crawl across his legs. I was wearing jeans and Darry said,

"If I ever have to do this again, which I sincerely hope not, the jeans will have to come off. This way you barely feel it." I winced at the thought of being spanked without the protection of my jeans. I certainly didn't agree that I could barely feel it. It hurt bad enough with them on. The first swat still came as a surprise and I cried out. I'm sure he was coming down even harder on me this time and he gave me 11 more swats. 12 in total.

I was a blubbering mess at the end of it and this time I allowed Darry to hug me. "Think next time Becky. It ain't worth getting suspended over a few names. I expect better from you and girls shouldn't be fighting anyway."

He left me then, telling me to stay in my room and that we'd talk more over dinner about my suspension. It wasn't worth him going back to work now, so he just went into the kitchen and started on dinner. I lay on my bed feeling sore and sorry for myself. I couldn't believe my bad luck that Miss Jenkins had wandered down the corridor just when she did and caught us fighting. Now I was in trouble at school, Darry was mad at me again and I expect that was not the last I would hear from Sally Branson either. Why did things never stay good for long?


	17. Chapter 17 - A new tutor

Chapter 17

**A new tutor**

I heard Pony come home from school around 4.00 after track practice and heard his surprise at finding Darry home already. There was a muffled conversation, which I knew must be about me and Darry explaining to Pony why he was home so early. Pony then went into his room to do his homework, so there was no longer anything of interest to listen in on.

I switched the radio on and lay back on my bed. I wished I could talk to Matt about what had happened with Lara's sister. I wanted his reassurance that there was nothing between him and Lara, although I knew there wasn't. I also thought that maybe he could talk to Lara and tell her to get Sally to back off. If I had to see her every day at school and she was going to be getting in my face all the time, it was gonna be very difficult to avoid another fight.

Soda arrived home around 5.00 and again I heard an exchange between him and Darry. I couldn't hear the exact words, but I was pretty sure of the subject matter. "She what?!" I heard Soda yell at one point. I had never been one to get into fights or get into trouble at school in general, so I could understand his surprise. I thought it a bit hypocritical if he got onto me for fighting. He was always getting into fights when he was at school. He loves fights. Somehow though, I didn't think he would love _me_ fighting so much.

I knew soon I would be called to come and eat and I was not particularly looking forward to Darry's chat about my suspension he had promised over dinner. I sighed turning over onto my side on the bed and I felt a pain in my cheek. I put my hand up to feel it and realised it must be bruised from where Sally had slapped me. My anger rose again. That stupid cow. Why was it any of her business if I was seeing Matt? And what gave her the right to insult me just because she had more money than me? I was glad in that moment that I got in a good punch before the fight had ended, she deserved it!

"Becky!" Soda called "Dinner!"

I sighed again and sluggishly got up and made my way to the kitchen. I wasn't sure what sort of reception I would get. I noticed Darry had put a cushion on my chair again, so now Pony and Soda knew about my punishment even if Darry hadn't already told them. I blushed and didn't make eye contact with any of my brothers as I took my seat.

"Heard you've been fighting?" Soda broke the silence. I looked at him and shrugged. "Looks like she landed a good one on your cheek there." Soda noticed the bruise I had felt earlier and I put my hand up to my face to touch it.

"I gave her an even harder one back." I retorted.

Soda raised his eyebrows. I could see he was struggling inside himself between being proud of his sister's fighting ability or being the grown up and telling me it was wrong. Eventually he said, "Well, I'm glad she didn't wipe the floor with ya, but you shouldn't be fighting Bex. You coulda really got hurt and getting suspended is no good for your record going onto High School."

"You were always fighting in school Soda and getting suspensions, so you can't talk!" I complained.

"Yeah, but Soda didn't have social services to worry about did he? And anyway you saw how mad Mom and Dad got with him when it happened." Darry snarled, still obviously not quite over his anger. I wasn't ready to deal with him yet after the spanking. I still felt it was really unfair he had done that to me when he knew the fight wasn't exactly my fault. So I just grunted in response. He ignored my attitude and went on,

"About this suspension. Luckily Soda is on the rota to work from 1.00 all this week, so he'll be here in the mornings and Pony will be back by 3.00. I've called Tara and she's gonna pick up your work for you so you don't get too far behind. So, you'll be plenty busy what with all the school work to do and I have a nice long list of chores for you to be getting on with, so there's no reason for you to get bored." I rolled my eyes "And I can do without the attitude. You are in a lot of trouble girly and you can think yourself lucky you're not getting worse. Being suspended ain't a holiday, it's a punishment."

"Ok Darry, I got it. Can we drop it now?" I pouted.

"No, we aren't done yet. You are grounded for 2 weeks and you will be on dish duty for all that time."

"What?!" I exclaimed. I hated doing the dishes and Darry knew that.

"You ain't in a position to complain young lady. Now eat up."

I pushed the meatloaf and potatoes round my plate. I felt miserable and had no appetite. I hated being in trouble and having my brothers mad at me. It made me feel so alone. They were all I had and if they weren't on my side then who would be?

Pony started chatting about the track meet coming up and how if he got good enough times he may be picked to represent the state. He was pretty good, one of the best on the team, so I knew he had a good chance of being chosen. I was real proud of him. Mom and Dad would have been over the moon about it. I was also glad that the focus was off me for now and we were onto a more positive subject. It would be nice if once in a while the positive conversation was about me!

"Wow that's great Pony! I'm sure you can do it, you've been getting faster and faster this semester." Said Darry beaming.

Pony blushed at the compliment, "Yeah well, I'll try my best. I have as good a chance as anyone."

"Better!" Soda said with pride in his voice. "You're the best one on the team Pony. I can't wait to brag to everyone about my brother the State Champion!" Soda grinned.

"You're getting a bit ahead of yourself there Soda. I haven't even got through to the State meet yet!"

"Oh but you will." Soda grabbed him round the neck and rubbed his knuckles on the top of his head.

"Get off Soda!" Pony complained, but he had a smile on his face. I couldn't help smiling too, momentarily forgetting the trouble I was in. There was friendly banter during the rest of the meal, though I didn't join in much. I was feeling on the edge of things because of being in Darry's bad books.

When I'd finished eating I took my plate to the sink and started washing the dishes. Darry had told me after that I was to go straight to my room. I was feeling pretty low about things. I thought to myself as I scrubbed the dishes that the only thing that would cheer me up would be seeing Matt and talking things over with him. That wasn't gonna happen, but the one good thing that did happen was that Tara came round with my schoolwork, just as I was heading back to my room. I stopped in the living room when I heard her voice and Darry glared at me to tell me to get back in my room. Darry thanked Tara and took the papers from her, telling her I wasn't able to talk at the moment as I was grounded.

Despondently I lay on my bed then 2 minutes later there was a quiet tap on my window. Of course, it was Tara. I gently pushed my window open, hoping my brothers couldn't hear the squeak it made.

"Hey!" Tara whispered, not attempting to come in, but staying just outside the window and poking her head through.

"Hey Tara, thanks for knocking. I feel a bit like a caged animal here. You know Darry when he grounds me – no fun allowed!"

"Yeah, so what happened at school? I heard you got in a fight or something?"

"Yeah, it was Sally Branson. Her sister, Lara, is a friend of Matt's, but it turns out she'd like it to be more than friends and she is really angry about Matt and me. Her sister took it upon herself to tell me to stay away from Matt and called me a 'filthy low-life greaser'"

"Oh!" Tara exclaimed, understanding the weight of that insult. "So you belted her?"

"Well I shoved her, she shoved back, she slapped me, I punched her – ya know how it goes? Then just my luck, Miss Jenkins caught us and sent us to the Principal's office. Darry was called in and was madder than heck, as you can imagine. He skinned my butt and I'm grounded for 2 weeks, plus I have a million chores to do while I'm suspended."

Tara grimaced in sympathy. "Sorry Bex. I can't believe he gave you another whooping."

"Me either. I hate it more than anything. I guess that's the point."

"I guess so. I'd better go before I get you into more trouble. I'll see ya tomorrow after school with more work."

"Thanks…I think."

Tara laughed and waved as she turned to leave. I quietly shut the window and just in time as Darry came in and dumped today's work on my desk for me.

"You'd better make a start on that before bed." He said curtly.

I suddenly desperately wanted to make things right between us. It felt like my heart was hurting when there was this bad feeling between me and Darry.

"Darry, I'm really sorry for getting into trouble. Please don't be mad at me anymore." I felt a tear roll down my cheek. Darry's face softened at my apology and he came over to me where I stood next to the bed. He wiped my tear away.

"Becky, I'm not mad at you anymore. I love ya ok? That's the only reason I get angry in the first place. I want better for you than fights, detentions and suspensions, Becky and you are better than that." I nodded at Darry's words as another tear rolled down my face.

"Come on Bex." Darry stroked my hair back from my face. "No more crying, we're ok now aren't we?"

I nodded again. "You just need to take your punishment and get through these 2 weeks and we can put it all behind us."

I held back more tears that were threatening and croaked out "Ok Darry, I'll try. I'm just sorry to make you and Soda hate me."

"Bex, We don't hate you, we could never hate you. Just cos we might get mad at you doesn't mean we hate you. We love you Becky, all of us, and we couldn't do without you. You're our baby sister and we want the best for you. We will never be happy to see you throwing away your potential, that's all."

I reached my arms around and hugged Darry letting my tears fall and making his shirt wet. He stroked my hair and made soothing noises as he let me get all my tears out. I'm sure sometimes he must wish I was less of a cry baby. Once I'd finished crying, he put his hands on my shoulders,

"All done?" he asked gently.

"I think so, sorry for making your shirt wet." I mumbled.

He gave me a kiss on the top of my head and reminded me to get onto that school work before going back into the living room. I felt better after that. Things were ok between me and Darry now and we had cleared the air. I was still in trouble but I could cope with the grounding and the dishes as long as I knew that Darry didn't hate me.

I spent the next day cleaning out all the kitchen cupboards, scrubbing and wiping and basically doing a spring clean of the kitchen, even though it was winter. All under Darry's orders of course. It was hard work and it had been a long time since anyone had seen the back of those cupboards, but I found it strangely satisfying cleaning out all the old rubbish and putting everything back neat and tidy. It took me practically the whole day, but I finished just before Pony got back from school. Soda had been very impressed by how hard I had worked and promised he would report that back to Darry.

When Pony arrived he wasn't alone. I could hear him talking to someone as he came through the door and I went out into the living room to see who it was. I couldn't help but grin when I saw Matt standing there next to Pony.

"Matt! Pony, what's going on?"

Matt had never been to our house before and I was suddenly aware of all the shabby furniture and peeling paint and couldn't help but compare it in my mind to his beautiful home.

"I asked Matt back to study – I thought you may need a bit of cheering up." Said Pony with a smile.

"Ponyboy, you are a wonderful brother! Thank you! Thank you!"

"Hi Bex, how are you bearing up? Ponyboy told me all about what happened, so you're suspended?"

"I'll just go and study in my room." Said Pony "Holler if Soda or Darry comes home."

"Thanks Pony." I said again, he was being unbelievably sweet. "I owe you big time!"

Once Pony was gone, Matt and I sat down on the couch and he gave me a quick kiss before I started on a full explanation of what had happened. At the end of it Matt said,

"I can't believe that Lara still has a thing for me. A couple of years ago she kept on flirting with me and trying to get my attention and I had to tell her I didn't want to be more than friends. I never felt that way about her."

"Well, she seems to think she has some kind of claim on you, Do you think you could talk to her? Maybe ask her to tell Sally to lay off me. I can't afford to get into any more trouble for fighting or in any more trouble with Darry."

"I know Babe. I will talk to her. I hope I can put a stop to this. I can't believe Sally actually hit you." He stroked the bruise on my cheek.

"I gave as good as I got." I grinned.

"I'll bet you did." He grinned back.

"So, we'd better sit at the table and at least look like we're studying for when anyone comes in. I've still got some work to do from yesterday and Tara will be bringing today's work around later."

"Ok, shall I get Pony to come sit with us?"

"Nah, let's wait until we have to!" I smiled, hoping to fit a bit more kissing in between the studies.

I went to fetch my books and we sat at the table and actually did some work. Tara knocked at the door around 5 minutes later and handed me a whole pile more of that day's work. She was surprised to see Matt there and gave me a wink before quickly leaving, saying she really had to get home. Matt and I laughed at how unsubtle she was.

I groaned as I looked at the 2 English exercises I had to do. "I hate English!" I moaned.

"It's my favourite subject, I love writing. I can help you."

"Will you? I would love that. I dread every English assignment."

Matt proceeded to talk me through the newspaper article I had to write and helped me come up with ideas. He made it seem so much easier.

We heard Darry's truck pull up outside, it was already 5.00. I was meant to be in my room but I was hoping Darry wouldn't mind if I was just studying at the table."

"Ponyboy!" I yelled. "Darry's here, get out here!" Pony quickly came and sat at the table with us, opening his history textbook in front of him.

"Hi guys! Whose is the tuff looking Stingray outside? Oh, hi." He said seeing Matt. "I guess it's your Stingray out there? I'm Darry and who might you be?"

"Hi Mr Curtis." Matt said standing up and offering his hand to shake. "I'm Matt Carter a friend of Ponyboy's from school."

Darry smiled "Just call me Darry, you'll make me feel old. So you're the Matt whose party Pony and Becky went to last Saturday?"

"That's right."

"Oh, well it's good to meet you and put a face to a name." Suddenly he frowned, remembering I was grounded and said "Becky, what are you doing out here and not in your room?"

"I'm just trying to do this English work that Tara brought Darry and Matt has been really helping me. I thought you'd rather he help me here than in my room.."

"I asked Matt to come and study with me Darry, I hope that was ok?" Pony said.

"Sure Pone. Thanks for helping Becky with her English Matt, she really struggles with that."

"Thanks to Matt I got all this done." I showed Darry all the pages of notes I had written.

"Well Matt, you can come again." Darry joked, patting him on the back.

"Guess what came in the post?" Darry waved the 2 official looking envelopes in his hand.

Oh man! Report cards, I was not ready for this. I was in so much trouble already and I knew Darry was not going to like my grades.

"Could we open them later maybe, like when Matt has gone?" I asked desperately.

Darry raised his eyebrows at me. "Why? Are you worried?"

"Yes actually. I know you probably ain't gonna be happy."

Darry's face fell. "You didn't tell me you were struggling Becky, except with English. What's going on?"

"Just be prepared Darry. I've been finding it hard this semester, you know since all the stuff with Johnny and Dally and things. I've found it hard to get into my school work."

"Well, let's take a look."

My heart sank. I really didn't want Darry to yell at me in front of Matt. Darry opened Pony's envelope first. A huge grin broke out on his face as he handed the piece of paper to Pony.

"Well done Little Buddy, all As and one A- in math. I'm proud of you."

I swallowed and put my head in my hands.

"Erm, maybe I should leave." Said Matt sensing some brewing tension.

"No need Matt." Said Darry. He opened the 2nd envelope and his face fell. I guess even though I had tried to warn him he hadn't thought it would be as bad as it was.

"Rebecca Grace! I can't believe this."

"I did try to tell you Darry."

"All the stuff that happened is no excuse Becky. Pony was even more caught up in that than you and he managed to keep his head in the game. Man, there's only 2 A's here and one of those is gym. This just ain't good enough, you can do so much better than this. 2 B's, 3 C's and 2 D's and you are flunking English completely."

I could feel my face burning. "I'm sorry Dar, I've just found it hard to concentrate. It'll be better by the summer, I promise."

"Yeah well it had better be. You need to buck your ideas up cos you have a lot of work to do to make these grades up, young lady."

Matt looked uncomfortable being there while Darry was telling me off. I could feel tears welling in my eyes and he gave my knee a quick squeeze under the table.

"Maybe Pony can tutor you in English or something." Darry suggested. Pony looked horrified.

"Oh man! I've got enough of my own work to do Darry and you know we'd just end up fighting."

"He's right Darry." I agreed.

"How about I help her?" Matt suggested. "English is my best subject and I enjoyed helping Becky this afternoon."

Pony rolled his eyes knowing how much he had probably enjoyed it and why.

"I couldn't ask you to do that Matt." Darry protested.

"You didn't ask me Darry, I offered. I really don't mind. I could come over on a Monday, if that suits you all and help her out with her assignments and stuff."

"It would really help me Darry." I said, not quite believing that the opportunity to spend legitimate time with Matt was being handed to me on a platter.

"Well ok Matt, that would be really great if you really don't mind. How about you stay for dinner, as a sort of payment, though depending on who's cooking you may rather not be paid at all!" Darry smiled. "Will you stay this evening?"

"That's really nice of you Darry. Can I just phone my parents and check if it's ok?"

"Sure, be my guest." Darry pointed to the phone.

I couldn't get the smile off my face, until Darry reminded me I was still not off the hook with the report card.

"From now on Becky, you do your homework out here at the table, so I can make sure you are really doing it properly. I am really disappointed in you."

My smile disappeared and I felt awful. I hated to be a disappointment to my brothers. I hadn't meant my grades to get so out of hand, but my studies seemed insignificant in the face of the loss of our friends, Pony's sickness and the court case where we could have all been split up. Of course, Pony had managed to do better, but he had struggled for a while there too and he was smarter than I was and had no other distractions, unlike me.

"I'm really sorry Dar. I didn't mean to let you down."

"You're letting _yourself_ down."

"I promise I'll try harder and do my best to get my grades back up."

"Good." Said Darry. "At this rate you'll be kept down a grade and I'm sure you don't want that."

Matt came off the phone. "That's cool with my parents if you're sure?"

"Sure we're sure. We're having hamburgers tonight, hope that's ok."

"Perfect." Said Matt smiling.

"Becky, if you've finished your work you can go back in your room and wait for dinner."

I raised my eyebrows at Matt and shrugged leaving him with Pony and Darry. Still, I had to count my blessings. I was gonna get to spend every Monday evening with Matt, he was gonna get to know my brothers better and it may all work in my favour. Darry already seemed to like him ok.

I decided to get on with some more of my school work, as I really did want to improve my grades. I didn't want to be kept down a grade, then I wouldn't be starting high school with Tara in the fall. I did my math, my chemistry and my history all with greater effort than I had put in in the past few months and I was happy with my work. Darry had only yelled a bit about my grades, but it could have been a lot worse. I was already in so much trouble that he probably couldn't think of any more punishments to give me!

I went out happily to dinner that evening, knowing Matt was eating with us. Darry asked him all about his family and I'm sure he was envious of Matt's brother Andy being at college, where he should have been. It felt good having Matt at home with me, like he was almost accepted as part of the gang. He seemed comfortable and talked easily with my brothers. He talked about football with Darry and with Pony about track. Sadly Soda still didn't get to meet him as he had to work till 9.00 that night, but I knew he was the easiest to get along with and rarely took a dislike to people. I knew Matt would like him just fine.

After dinner, Matt offered to do the dishes, but was told that was my job tonight, So he said his goodbyes and I got on with my job. Darry complimented me on the work I did on the kitchen, so at least I felt I had done something right! I went to bed feeling ten times happier than the previous night, tired from my day of cleaning and school work, but hopeful about my future with Matt now that we had found a way for him to get to know my family.


	18. Chapter 18 - Bad news, song and secret

_**Apologies for the sappiness of the song, but that is what Becky and Matt's relationship is like!**_

Chapter 18

**Bad news, a song and secret's out**

Soda got to meet Matt the following Monday, as he was back on the daytime shift. As I had predicted they got along just fine and Soda loved Matt even more when Matt let him take his Stingray for a spin. He certainly seemed to know the way to Soda's heart!

After 3 days of suspension the house was looking cleaner and tidier than it had looked since before Mom and Dad died. By the following Wednesday I only had one more day of detention left to sit at school and 6 days grounding left. I was trying to bear it with good grace and use the extra time to try and apply myself and start to bring my grades up. Not only was Matt's tutoring a bonus in getting to spend extra time with him, it was genuinely helping me to do better with my English. It was a win-win situation as far as I was concerned.

That day I met with Matt in the parking lot as planned. Usually he was standing by his car ready to greet me with a wave and a hug. Today he was sitting in the car and there was no smile on his face. He looked completely distracted. I walked up to the car and tapped on his window, making him jump a mile, but he still didn't produce more than a tiny smile. I was confused. Was he angry with me or upset about something else? I went round to the passenger side and opened the door, glancing his way as I sat down.

"Hey Babe." Said Matt, giving me a quick kiss on the cheek.

"Hi Matt, is something wrong? You don't look very happy."

He sighed and shook his head. "Bex, I've got some really bad news."

My stomach turned over, was he gonna break up with me?

"What is it Matt?"

"My parents are moving to California and I have to go with them of course."

"No! Why? When?"

"January 9th we'll be leaving. My Dad has to move there for his job. It's a promotion and it's really important to him, so we're going."

"But, what about us? It's so far away. I'll never see you again." I felt tears rolling down my face and Matt almost looked like he was gonna cry too. He reached over to stroke my face, wiping away my tears.

"I know it's a long way Bex, but we will see each other again. We can write, we can call, I'll come visit in the summer and when I go to college I'll choose somewhere here in Oklahoma."

"College? That's a long way off. Oh Matt, I don't believe this. I'm gonna miss you so much."

"I know, I still can't get my head around it. I tried to argue the case for staying but my parents were not gonna change their minds. I'm sorry Bex, I really am."

He pulled me close and we just held each other while my tears soaked his sweater. After a while he pushed me back.

"So Bex, we can't just spend the next month feeling sad. We have to make the most of the time we have left together right?"

I nodded, but still feeling a sad ache right inside me. He said we could still write and call and visit, but in my heart of hearts I felt this was probably the end for us. It would just be too hard to make it work.

"Ok Matt, let's try and go out this weekend."

"I thought you were still grounded till Monday?"

"Yeah, I am. But Darry keeps saying how impressed he is about how I've taken my punishment and how hard I've been studying. He might let me out for good behaviour! I'll talk to him tonight and see if he'll let me go to the movies, with Tara and Carl and Pony as well as you of course."

"Ok, talk to Darry and lets meet for lunch every day from now on. We shouldn't waste a moment." He stroked my face. "I'm gonna miss seeing your beautiful face and just having you there to talk to."

I blushed and smiled "It's gonna be hard to make it work, ain't it?"

"Yeah," Matt admitted. "Hard, but not impossible. We have to try don't we?"

"Yeah, we do." We kissed each other with even greater passion than usual with the knowledge that these moments were limited now.

I headed back to class filled with a dreadful feeling of hopelessness. I had been concentrating much better in school since the report card, but that afternoon I really couldn't have told you what any of the lessons were about. Thankfully none of the teachers noticed and I managed to avoid getting into trouble for it.

As soon as school was over I explained the situation to Tara, who had noticed right away that something was wrong. She was almost as upset on my behalf as I was.

"Oh Bex, I can't believe it, that's such bad luck. I'm so sorry."

"Thanks Tara. He says we'll try and make it work but I just know it's impossible. California is just so far away." I said despondently. I felt so unhappy that I didn't think anything could cheer me up except the news that Matt would be staying.

Two-Bit gave Tara, Pony and I a ride home.

"What's got you so down in the dumps there Bexster? It ain't like you to be so quiet. You fighting with Darry again?"

"No Two-Bit. It's nothing. Just had some bad news today that's all."

"Well, how can we cheer you up Bexster?"

"You can't." I replied dejectedly.

"How 'bout I tell you one of my famous jokes?" he grinned.

"Two-Bit, you don't wanna make her feel worse!" Tara sassed. I couldn't help but smile. Two-Bit's joked really were the worst.

"Well, that's rude! I'm renowned for my sense of humour ya know."

"You sure about that?" Tara asked raising her eyebrows.

Two-Bit chose to ignore her. "Hey Bex, did ya know I'm thinking of getting a job?"

I shook my head.

"Yeah, I want a job cleaning mirrors. It's something I can really see myself doing!" he said and then cackled heartily at his own joke. I just rolled my eyes but had to admit to a twitch of my lips.

"Ok, what about this one? Did you hear about the magic tractor? It was going down the road when all of sudden it turned into a field." More cackling from Two-Bit. He enjoyed his own jokes so much it was almost contagious and I smiled at him and his laughter, rather than the silly joke.

"Ah, I saw a smile that time. Ok, what do you call a belt made out of wristwatches?"

I groaned "I dunno Two-Bit."

"A waist of time! Get it?" and he was off again, almost swerving into the middle of the road he was laughing so much.

"Watch it Two-Bit!" Pony yelled.

I couldn't help a small laugh this time and I was grateful to Two-Bit for his crazy personality. He really did lift my spirits even if he couldn't take the problem away.

"Job done!" said Two-Bit. "That was definitely a laugh I heard that time Bexster."

"I'm surprised you can hear anything with all the racket you're making!" I answered, but smiled back at him.

"Have you ever thought that maybe people are laughing at you and not your jokes?" Tara teased.

"Same difference!" Two-Bit grinned. He was happy when he could make others happy and I loved him for it.

When we got back home I sat at the table trying to focus on my homework. I was obeying Darry's instructions and doing my homework at the table, even though he wasn't there to supervise so it made no difference whether I was there or in my room. I was trying my best to do trigonometry, but I just could not think of anything but matt and there was a ball of sadness at the pit of my stomach, which made me feel physically sick. I wondered if Matt had told Ponyboy his news, so I went to his room to ask him.

"Come in Bex." Pony said as I knocked on his door.

"Hi Pony."

"What's wrong?"

"Did you talk to Matt today?"

Pony was immediately alert. "What's happened Becky, did he do something to upset you?"

"No, no. It's nothing like that. I _am_ upset, but it's nothing Matt did to me. He's moving to California."

"California! Man, why there?"

"His Dad's job or something. They're going in January."

"I'm sorry Becky, that's what's been bothering you, huh?"

I nodded, feeling tears close by again. Pony got up from his desk and signalled for me to sit next to him on the bed. I did and he put his arm around my shoulders.

"I just feel so helpless Pony. There's nothing I can do to change the situation and I don't wanna lose him, but I know I will." A big tear dropped onto my lap.

"You don't know for sure Becky. You can still talk on the phone and write to each other. If it's meant to be then you will stay together no matter what."

"You really think so? Matt said we should try and that he would come back and visit. Of course I want to try and make it work but I can't help feeling it's hopeless to expect us to last at such a distance. If we were older I could go with him or something, we could get married and head off into the sunset…"

Pony laughed gently "I thought _I_ was meant to be the one with my head in the clouds! Don't give up hope Bex. If you both really want to be together you can find a way to make it work."

"Thanks Pone." I leaned my head on his shoulder. "You're a good brother, ya know that?"

"Remember that next time you're yelling at me about something."

I laughed "I'll try. I'd better go back and get on with my homework before Darry gets back. I was gonna try and get him to let me off my grounding on Saturday night so we could go to the drive-in. What do you think?"

"It's worth a try. I'll see if anyone else from school wants to come, otherwise I'll be stuck being a third wheel what with Tara and Carl and you and Matt."

"Sure, what about Deborah?" I waggled my eyebrows at him.

"I told you, she is just a friend. I don't like her that way." Pony said with some irritation.

"Sorry, I'm just being a pain." I smiled.

"Tell me about it!" Pony growled, but I knew he didn't mean it.

By the time Darry got in I had quit doing my homework and was back in my room reading. He popped his head in to say 'hi'.

"Hey bex, how was your day?"

"Ok Dar" I lied. "How about you?"

"Good thanks. We've nearly finished up the job I've been working on, so I may have a day off on Friday."

"Sounds good. Hey I got 95% on my history quiz. We got them back today."

"That's brilliant Becky, I'm so proud of how hard you've been working and look how it's paying off!" he walked over to me gave me a kiss on the head. I thought now may be a good time to ask about Saturday.

"Darry, I know I'm meant to be grounded till Monday, but Pony and Matt and Tara and some others were talking about going to the drive-in on Saturday, since school is out on Friday. I was wondering if you might let me off early for good behaviour?" I asked tentatively.

I saw Darry thinking "Well, ok Becky, You have been really good about taking your punishment and about trying to get your grades up, so I think you've earned a bit of fun. You can go as long as y'all are back by 11.00 ok?"

I beamed at Darry, finally something good to come out of today. "Thanks Darry!" I exclaimed.

He laughed at my enthusiasm "Ok." He said ruffling my hair. "It's my turn to make dinner, so I'm gonna go make a start."

The last few days of school before the Christmas break went quickly. We had finished all our tests and there was no more homework, which was great! Matt and I met for lunch each day and talked and talked about all the normal stuff and about how we would write and call and be there for each other even after the move. We also made plans about meeting up during the Christmas break. Soda and Darry would be working a lot of the time and Matt could easily come round without question now that he was known as Pony's friend and my tutor.

On Friday Matt looked nervous when I met him in the parking lot as usual.

"What's up?" I asked getting into his car. "You look worried or something?"

He smiled at me, "Well, I'm a little nervous actually. Remember that song I mentioned to you, the new one I wrote?"

"Yeah."

"Well, it's for you. I mean, I wrote it for you….about you. I was going to give it to you for Christmas, but I thought I'd do it now in case our plans for being alone during the break don't work out."

"A song, about me?" I blushed "That's the sweetest thing anyone ever did for me."

"I was gonna sing it to ya, do you want me to?"

"Of course I do." I grinned.

"Ok, I don't have my guitar or anything, so I hope it sounds ok and it's not too sappy either."

"It won't be, I just love that you have done this for me. That means more than anything else."

"Here goes.." Matt cleared his throat and started singing in a beautiful, deep voice. He was really talented, I could see why he wanted to follow music for his career, it came naturally to him.

"_I see your face and I'm lost in your eyes,_

_ I touch your hair and I can't disguise, the way you make me feel_

_I'm on top of the world when I'm with you._

_You listen to all my fears,_

_It's like we've been friends for years,_

_You do what no-one else can do,_

_I'm on top of the world when I'm with you._

_Even when we're not together,_

_I know we'll be friends forever,_

_Becky here I'll always be_

_I want you on top of the world with me._

_I love your lips when they touch mine,_

_I love your touch, it feels just fine,_

_If there's one thing I wanna do,_

_It's be on top of the world with you._

_I never wanna be without you,_

_Becky, you're everything to me,_

_We'll never be apart,_

_Because you'll always be here in my heart_

_Together, forever on top of the world, my girl and me."_

He looked me in the eyes as he was singing and I felt my cheeks grow red and my eyes fill with tears at the beautiful words. I felt so loved and special that he had written this for me and the words meant so much to me and not only that, it was a beautiful melody. I loved the part about being friends forever and always being in his heart. When he'd finished singing he looked down and blushed. I had never seen him embarrassed or shy about anything before. I reached over and took his hand.

"That was so beautiful Matt. I loved it. The words, the tune, your voice, everything about it – thank you! It's the best gift anyone ever gave me."

He smiled back at me and we kissed. "I'm gonna try and put it on a record for you. My friend knows someone with a recording studio, so I'm gonna record it and give it to you before I leave."

"Oh, that would be amazing. Then I can hear your voice any time I want." He smiled and hugged me tight.

Saturday night there was a whole group of us now meeting at the drive-in. Matt, me, Tara, Carl and Pony plus a whole gang of kids from school, including Deborah, but I decided not to tease Pony about that anymore. Soda, Two-Bit and Steve also had plans, so the house was busy with everyone getting ready and fighting for the shower.

"Darry."I asked as I sat in the living room all ready to go."Why don't you go out with Soda and the others?" He never seemed to go out anywhere.

"Nah Bex. Don't worry about me. I'm looking forward to an evening of peace and quiet."

I smiled at him, but felt sad that he didn't seem to do any of the normal things that 20 year olds should be doing. He spent his whole time working and worrying about all of us.

At 7.00 Matt turned up to take Tara, Pony and me. We were meeting the others there. I was about to climb in the passenger seat when Pony opened the back door and gestured with his eyes for me to get in there. "Oh!" I said and got in the back. He was right. Darry would think it was very strange if I sat in the front with Matt, while his friend Ponyboy sat in the back with Tara. "Thanks Pone." I said as we moved off. "I wasn't thinking."

"No change there then!" he teased.

"Hey!" I smacked him gently on the head.

"Hey you two, no fighting in my car!" said Matt grinning.

When we got to the drive in we all got out to look for the others. Tara spotted Carl right away and went over to give him a kiss. He was with some of the others, so Pony went to join them. I got back into the car with Matt and we sat and watched the cartoon which was currently playing. I shuffled over in my seat so I could snuggle up to Matt and he put his arm around me, I sighed. It felt so right being with him and so wrong that he was leaving.

"Let's go get some drinks and popcorn." Matt suggested as the cartoon finished.

"Sure." We hopped out and he held my hand as we walked over to the concession stand. There was a long line as usual so we chatted while we waited and Matt pushed my hair behind my ear then leaned down to kiss me. In the background I heard my name and when Matt pulled away I looked around.

"Ain't that Becky over there kissing some guy?" Steve was saying.

Soda was right there next to him and he turned to look right at me. My stomach flipped. What were they doing here? They never said they were coming to the drive in, they were meant to be going bowling or something.

"What?!" said Soda "Becky? Matt? What the heck's going on here."

We ducked out of the line and walked over to where Soda was. Matt was still holding my hand, but suddenly let go as he realised.

"Soda, what are you doing here?" I asked trying to sound innocent.

"Soda was now squaring up to Matt and glaring at him. "What the hell are you doing kissing Becky?" he yelled.

"Soda." I tried to calm him down. "Leave Matt alone."

"Would you mind explaining what's going on here Rebecca?!" Soda demanded looking at me with an anger I rarely saw in him.

"We were just getting some drinks and popcorn." I tried to avoid the issue.

"That ain't what I'm talking about and you know it!" Soda yelled. I jumped at the volume of his voice and felt the inevitable tears form in my eyes. If I was gonna cry this much as a teenager I would need to start carrying a hanky! I looked down at my feet.

"Soda, Matt and I are together. He's my boyfriend."

"You what?! No he ain't cos you are only 12 years old and you aren't allowed to have boyfriends yet and anyway Matt here is 16. There's no way we are gonna let you two be together. Wait till Darry hears about this Rebecca. I can't believe you have been doing this behind our backs. How long has this been going on?"

I hesitated to answer and stared at my feet as the tears rolled down my cheeks. Matt went to put his arm round me and Soda gave him a shove back.

"Don't you touch her! You never go near my sister again, ya hear me? You are no longer welcome in our house and you stay away from her." He turned back to me "Answer me Rebecca! How long has this been going on?" Soda grabbed my chin and made me look at him.

"About 3 months." I choked out.

"3 months! You're kidding me. Let's talk about this at home. Steve, sorry to break up the party but I need to take Rebecca home."

"Sure buddy. I'll drive you back and get Two-Bit to take Sarah home."

As he spoke Two-Bit appeared with Kathy, Sarah and Evie. They had been chatting to some friends over by the seats.

"Hey Bexster, what's going on?"

Soda ignored him, "Sarah baby, I'm real sorry but there's a problem with Becky and I have to take her home. Sorry to bail on you."

"It's ok Soda. Are you ok?"

"Yeah, Two-Bit, do you mind giving Sarah a ride home for me and could you tell Pony that Becky left with me and see if he needs a ride too?"

"Sure Pal, are you ok Bex?"

"She's fine. I just need to take her sorry ass home. She's in trouble." Soda said seriously.

Two-Bit gave me a sympathetic glance then Soda grabbed my arm and dragged me off after Steve and Evie. I looked back at Matt, glad that at least Soda hadn't punched his lights out. He stood there looking helpless and tried to give me an encouraging smile. Soda opened the back door of the car and pushed me in, not too gently. He was madder than I had ever seen him, at least madder than I had ever seen him with _me_. He got in the back with me and gave me a cold glare. I looked away and twisted my hands in my lap.

"I can't believe this." He said quietly "I just can't believe it." He shook his head and looked away from me. I let out a sob. Normally Soda would be the one comforting me now, but at this moment he was acting like he couldn't stand me. I couldn't bear it.

We drove home the rest of the way in silence. I felt a dread in the pit of my stomach. I had thought with Matt going away that we had maybe got away without ever being found out, but now the inevitable had happened and despite all our plans for my brothers to get to know Matt and like him, it didn't seem to be going too well. If Soda was this mad, what would Darry be like? I wasn't looking forward to facing him.

_**Please read and review, your reviews mean a lot! **_


	19. Chapter 19 - Darry, the talk & deception

_**Thank you so much to all those who posted reviews - they really encourage me to keep going!**_

Chapter 19

**Darry, the talk &amp; deception**

Steve pulled up outside our house and I felt sick with the anticipation of facing Darry.

"Thanks Steve." Said Soda. He opened his door and got out. I did the same on my side, but I was so nervous I could barely put one foot in front of the other, delaying the moment till I had to face Darry and he found out the truth about Matt and me.

"Move it Becky." Soda gave me a gentle shove from behind, forcing me up the steps of the porch.

"Soda, please…"

"Go on inside Becky." He cut me off.

"Hey." Said Darry looking puzzled. "It's only 9.00, why are you two back already and why are you even together?"

"Well, Two-Bit and Kathy wanted to see the movie at the drive-in so we had a change of plan. Of course Becky and Pony and the others were also at the drive-in and we kinda bumped into Becky and Matt in line for the concession stand."

"Oh, ok. But why are you back so early?" Darry still hadn't a clue of course. He looked at me. "Bex are you ok? You look pale. Have you been crying?"

"She's ok Darry." Soda spoke for me in a harsh voice. "Well kinda. Steve and I caught her kissing Matt at the drive-in and it turns out he's her 'boyfriend' and they've been together for 3 months."

Darry's face went from calm to confused to furious all in a matter of seconds. "You what?!"

"You heard me Darry."

"What do you have to say for yourself Rebecca?" He took a step towards me and I swallowed.

"Darry, I'm sorry you and Soda had to find out like this. I didn't wanna go behind your backs, but I knew you wouldn't agree to it and we really like each other."

"You're damn right we wouldn't agree to it! You are 12 years old Rebecca, 12! You are not old enough to be having a serious boyfriend of any kind and you are definitely too young to be dating a Sophomore. When I think we welcomed him into this house and he lied and charmed his way to fool us….when I next see him I swear I will break his neck!" Darry yelled.

"Darry! We weren't trying to fool you, he _is_ a really nice guy, that's why you liked him so much, that's why _I_ like him and so what if he's a bit older than me? Why does it matter?"

"It matters because I know how 16 year old boys think, Rebecca….I swear if he has laid a hand on you…."Darry was pacing and almost shaking with rage.

"He hasn't Darry, I swear. We haven't done anything except kiss and we wouldn't do any more."

"Well, no you won't, because you ain't gonna be going anywhere near him ever again! You are not to see him anymore, you understand?!" he was yelling right in my face now.

"No Darry. You can't do that! I think I love him. I want to be with him. We just are right together."

"Love him?! Don't be ridiculous. You are a child Rebecca. You are too young to be talking about being in love. You need to end this now before you get in too deep and Matt starts wanting more than just a kiss. The reason we don't want you dating is cos you are too young to understand the temptations you face when you are in a relationship. Too young to be able to stop. Mom and Dad never let me or Soda date anyone until we were 14 and the same rules apply to you. And if and when you do start dating you still won't be allowed to date someone who is so much older than you!"

I was sobbing uncontrollable now. "I can't believe you are being so unfair about this. You can't stop me from being with Matt. He's moving in a few weeks to California and then I won't see him again probably. You have to let me have these last few weeks with him."

Darry pointed his finger at me. "You are not in any position to tell me what I have to do! You are the child, I am the adult and my job is to keep you safe and teach you right from wrong. You are not to see Matt Carter anymore and you are not allowed to date anyone else either till you are 14. I am glad to hear he's moving away, I only wish it was sooner."

"I hate you Darry! If you cared about me at all you wouldn't say you were happy that Matt is going away because it is breaking my heart!" I ran off to my room and slammed the door, flinging myself down on the bed. Surprisingly neither Darry nor Soda followed me, so I was left to wallow in my own misery. I knew this would be their reaction on finding out about Matt and me, but I had clung to the hope that knowing Matt and seeing what a decent, kind person he is, would help them see things in a different light. How wrong could I be?

Well, there was no way I was gonna stay away from Matt. We only had a few more weeks in the same town and I would take every opportunity to spend time with him that I could. Darry and Soda couldn't be with me every second of the day. I didn't even care if I got caught. I would risk that just to be able to see him. I must have cried myself to sleep as about 11.00 I was woken up by loud voices. I moved closer to the door to listen.

"You mean you knew about Becky and Matt and you didn't tell us?!" Soda yelled in disbelief.

"Soda, I thought you'd get it. They really like each other, they just seem good together. I know he's older, but he is a decent guy and he hasn't tried anything." Pony replied.

"How do you know that for sure?" Darry yelled. "How do you know he's not been doing stuff with her that no 12 year old should even be thinking about?"

"I just know, Becky told me they only kissed and nothing more."

"As if Becky would tell you if she had slept with him, Pony!" Soda spat back.

"I think she would. Since I found out I made sure she told me when they were meeting and she's been talking to me about how she feels. She really likes him a lot and he likes her too."

"Be that as it may, he is still too old for her and he shouldn't have even started this thing in the first place. You should have told us Pony. If something bad had happened to Becky, if things had gone too far, it would be on your conscience."

"I'm sorry Darry, I was just trying to be a good brother and she was so miserable at the thought of them breaking up, I didn't want to be the one to do that. If Mom and Dad were here _you'd_ probably be covering for her too."

"No I would not! She is our baby sister Pony and whether Mom and Dad are here or not it's our job to keep her safe. We can't do that if she's sneaking around behind our backs."

"Well, she's gonna do that even more if you try and stop her from seeing him ain't she?" Pony was trying his best to stick up for me and I really appreciated it. It was brave of him too as he hated to fight with Darry and even more so with Soda. He and Darry rubbed each other up the wrong way too much, so he avoided confrontation with him if he could.

"Don't you get mouthy Ponyboy! We've told her she can't see him anymore and we expect you to follow that too. No more covering for her or you will be in even worse trouble, understand? As it is you are grounded for the first week of the Christmas break for lying to us." Darry snarled, I couldn't see him, but could just imagine that right now he was right in Pony's face and pointing his finger at him.

"You what?! That ain't fair Darry, I ain't done nothing."

"You shoulda told us Pony." Soda snapped. It was unusual for him to get mad at Ponyboy. They never really fought and they got on better than any of us. I knew Soda being mad at him would hurt Pony more than anything.

"I'm sorry." Pony sounded desperate. "I thought I was doing the right thing."

"Go to bed now Ponyboy." Darry commanded and I heard Pony shuffle off to his and Soda's room and slam the door.

I went back to my bed now that the shouting was over. I knew I still had to face Darry in the morning, as he hadn't even given me a punishment yet, other than banning me from seeing Matt. I sighed and tried to go back to sleep. My head was spinning with thoughts of Matt going away, Darry and Soda being mad at me, Darry's impending punishment, plans for getting to see Matt and so on and so on. There was no chance of me getting to sleep. I heard Darry and Soda go to bed around midnight and I was still awake at 2.00, which was the last time I glanced at the clock before finally succumbing to sleep.

I was woken at 10.00 the next morning when Darry came in.

"Time to get up Rebecca. Get dressed and come and have breakfast." He said coldly then shut the door again. I groaned. I was tired after not enough sleep and obviously Darry was still fuming. I dragged myself out of bed and went to shower. I didn't stay there long, as the hot water ran out halfway through – the disadvantage of being the last one up!

Once I was dressed I went to the kitchen. Pony and Darry were sat at the table eating pancakes and bacon. Soda was at work. I sat down and put some food on my plate, though I had no appetite.

"Morning Becky." Said Ponyboy.

"Morning." I mumbled, trying not to make eye contact with Darry. I stabbed my fork into the pancake and broke a piece off, pushing it around my plate.

"Stop playing with your food Rebecca and eat it!" Darry growled. Boy, he was in a bad mood this morning! "When you've finished breakfast you and I need to have a chat."

My stomach dropped and I felt even less like eating than I had before, but I shoved a forkful of food into my mouth and chewed slowly. I managed to eat half of my food and drink a glass of orange juice before I admitted defeat and threw my leftover food into the garbage. I headed towards the living room.

"Let's talk in your room Becky, it's more private in there." Darry said getting up to follow me.

I went in and sat down on my bed and Darry sat on the chair by my desk, sitting directly opposite me.

"So, tell me about you and Matt" he ordered.

I shrugged, I didn't want to talk to him about me and Matt. He was the one who wanted to split up, so why should I talk to him about it?

"When did this all start?" he prompted.

"We met at that dance."

"The one you weren't meant to go to?"

I blushed and nodded. "Then he took me out for a coke at lunchtime that week. We just got on really well and decided to keep meeting."

"So you've been going out with him during schooltime?" Darry sounded very irritated about this.

"Yeah, it was the only time we could meet without anyone else knowing." I admitted.

"And didn't the fact that you had to sneak around give you some kind of clue to the fact that it was the wrong thing to be doing?!" Darry demanded, his voice growing louder.

"Well, I didn't think it was wrong, I just knew that you and Soda would treat me like a baby and think I was too young to be seeing him."

A furious look crossed Darry's face and I bit my lip wondering if I had pushed him too far.

"You _are_ too young Becky. Mom and Dad's rule about not dating till you're 14 was a good one. There's no way you are mature enough to handle a relationship at your age and you are definitely not old enough to be dating someone so much older than you. Anyway, we had this discussion last night. What I wanted to talk to you about was how…..close you and Matt have got." I swear Darry blushed at this point. I had never really seen him blush before. I realised then he was going to try and talk to me about sex and I blushed too when I understood where this conversation was headed. Oh my!

"I told ya Darry, we've only kissed."

"I believe ya for now, but there may be things you've been doing that you don't even realise could get you into trouble." I didn't know what he was talking about, but I really had to try and put a stop to this conversation before either he or I died of embarrassment!

"Darry, I know about….sex…ok? You don't need to tell me how babies are made or anything."

Darry looked slightly relieved for a moment, but then carried on.

"Sure Becky, but you need to stick to some simple rules, once you do start dating, that will avoid any issues ok? Right now, until you are at least 14, you should not be alone with a boy at all, ever. But once you do start dating, if that ever happens, which right now I don't wanna contemplate, then the rule is you both keep all your clothes on and hands stay above the clothes, no hands underneath." I was sure my face was as red as Darry's was right now, which was pretty red I can tell you.

"Darry, this is totally unnecessary."

"Oh no it's not!"

"Ok Darry, I got it. Please can we stop talking about this now?"

"Ok, back to you and Matt. Have you broken that rule I just told you?"

"No Darry, we haven't."

He breathed a sigh of relief. "Good. I mean what I said last night Becky. You and him are through. I've got a good mind to go over to his place and tell him the same."

"Oh no Darry, please don't! Please, I know you'll just embarrass me and yourself if you do that."

"Well it may be worth that risk. Anyhow there'll be no more tutoring sessions, no more lunchtime dates, no more nothing! I'm sorry if you're sad and if you hate me but I'm only doing this for your own good and because I love you."

"Please Darry, what about if I get to see him, but with you guys there too? Nothing can happen then can it? And at least I'd get to be with him and talk to him. He leaves in 3 weeks. I'm gonna be miserable if I don't get to see him before he goes." I was crying now.

"No Becky. I don't trust him and I don't want him near you. He came into this house all smiles and politeness and the whole time he was deceiving us and carrying on with you behind our backs. I don't want him around you ever again, even if we are there too."

"But Darry…."

"I said no Rebecca! You're grounded for the first week of the Christmas break and if I find out you've been sneaking around with Matt I will have to take some time off work and you will have to stay by my side the whole time. So, you'd better not try anything."

Well, I was amazed and relieved that so far there had been no mention of spanking me again. I had noticed that as angry as Darry was, a lot of his anger was directed at Matt rather than me, so maybe that was why. I thought I could work around this grounding and still get to see Matt. Darry and Soda would be at work anyway, so how would they know what I was up to? But it seemed Darry had thought of everything. He continued,

"Soda is going to be on the late shift over Christmas, so he'll be around till 2.00 anyway and I'm gonna be getting off at 4.00. Pony is also grounded, so he won't be going anywhere either. I've asked Two-Bit if he can be around in the afternoon when Soda and I aren't there to make sure neither of you are going out and especially that Matt is nowhere near."

"Darry, you are just being so unreasonable! Why do you wanna make me so unhappy?" I sobbed.

"I don't Becky. I wanna make you safe." He got up to leave the room and I rolled over and sobbed into my pillow, feeling trapped. I stayed in my room and turned the radio on to try and distract myself. When Soda came home from work about 1.00 he knocked on my door.

"Can I come in Bex?"

"Sure." I wasn't sure what to expect. Was he still gonna be mad at me like last night? At least he was talking to me. He looked nervous as he came into my room.

"Mind if I sit?" he motioned to the space on the bed next to me.

"No." I said and he sat down.

"Look Becky, I just wanted to say I'm sorry for how mad I got with you last night. I just couldn't believe that you had gone behind our backs like that and that you were kissing Matt. You're my baby sister and I know you are growing up, but you are still just a little girl, too young to be even thinking about kissing guys and…Matt? He's almost as old as me!"

"You're nearly 18 Soda, he's only 16."

"Yeah, well whatever, he's still too old for you."

I sighed and looked down at my hands. I was so tired of having the same conversation about this.

"Ya know I love ya right Bex?" Soda said.

I looked up and smiled at him "Yeah, I love you too Soda."

"I don't want you to be sad Bex, but I can't agree to you keeping on seeing Matt."

I shrugged. "Soda, I suggested to Darry that maybe I could meet up with him with you guys there, so we wouldn't be alone together or anything…."

Soda looked concerned "What did Darry say to that?"

"What do you think? No, of course. Can't you persuade him Soda? It won't do any harm if we just talk and I wanna be with him before he leaves for California."

"I still don't think you should even be anywhere near him. I don't trust him an inch anymore…"

"But, if you guys are there what can happen?" I pleaded.

"Darry ain't gonna change his mind Becky."

"He might if you talk to him."

Soda sighed "I'll try, but I don't know if I really think it's a good idea myself."

"Fine!" I huffed.

"I'm tryin' here Bex. You really broke our trust yesterday, you know that?"

I choked on more tears, realising he was right. "I'm sorry I lied to you Soda. Wouldn't you have done the same thing if you thought it was the only way you could be with Sarah?"

"Maybe Becky, but it still hurts."

I reached over to hug him. "I'm sorry Soda." I mumbled into his shoulder. He hugged me back, but didn't say anything. I was glad he wasn't giving me the cold shoulder anymore but I could tell he hadn't totally forgiven me yet.

Monday was the first day of the Christmas break. I was relieved when Darry told Pony and me we were allowed out of our rooms since we were at home all day, but we weren't allowed to watch tv or go out of the house. Pony was still moaning, but I was just glad not to be confined to my room. I was hoping to have the chance to call Matt once Soda had gone to work. I really needed to talk to him.

Tara called that morning. She had called at the weekend, but Darry wouldn't let her talk to me. Soda said I could talk to her, but just 5 minutes. He was trying to enforce Darry's punishment, but it didn't come naturally to him to be so strict. He was a people pleaser and it went against the grain. I explained to Tara about what Darry had said and that I was grounded for a week.

"Soda goes to work at 2.00 and Two-Bit's here at 3.00, so if you wanna come over then, that would be a good time." I said quietly, while Soda was distracted talking to Pony about something.

"Ok." Tara said. "I'll see you at 2.00. Hang in there Bex. We'll find a way for you and Matt to see each other, I know we will."

"Thanks."

Soda left for work at 1.45 and told us to be good! Pony was reading a book and I was playing patience on the coffee table.

"Pony?" I asked, "Have you even thought about Christmas gifts this year?"

"No. I don't have any money anyway."

"Nor me, Christmas never feels right anymore anyway, without Mom and Dad." I muttered.

Pony shifted along the couch so he was next to me and put his arm around me.

"I know. But they loved Christmas, they wouldn't want us to just ignore it. If we can make it nice then it's like they are here with us."

I nodded. "I don't feel so much like celebrating this year though. I can't be with Matt and even if I could he's leaving in 3 weeks anyway. Plus, Darry and Soda are both still a bit mad at me, you too probably. I'm sorry that I got you into trouble Pony."

"I don't blame you. I can't cover for you any more though Bex."

"I understand." I nodded.

There was a knock at the door and Pony looked at me with a puzzled expression.

"I think it may be Tara." I explained. I opened the door and Tara came in.

"Hey Bex, Hey Pony."

"Hey Tara. You're not meant to be here ya know?" Pony said.

"She's only staying a little while Pony. It's not Matt – please don't rat on me?"

Pony shrugged. "I won't say anything, but just don't get caught."

"Let's go to my room." I said linking arms with Tara.

"Things sure aren't going your way at the moment are they Bex?" Tara commented as we lay side by side on my bed listening to the radio.

"No, you could say that. I have to find a way to talk to Matt and to see him without Darry or Soda knowing. I just can't waste these last few weeks that are left."

"Why don't you phone Matt now while the coast is clear and arrange for him to come around this time tomorrow, while Soda and Darry are at work and Two-Bit's not here?"

"I guess I could try. I'm not sure how Two-Bit will react if he comes here and finds Matt with me. There's a risk that could happen."

"I reckon Two-Bit will give you a chance, he won't go running straight to Darry and Soda, not like Steve would."

"Yeah. I'll go call Matt now then." I went back into the living room. Pony was lying on the couch still reading.

"Hey Pone. I'm gonna call Matt."

"You sure that's a good idea?" he asked.

"Yeah, I am. I have to talk to him Pony. I haven't managed to speak to him since Saturday night when Soda dragged me off."

Ponyboy shrugged. It was clear that he wanted no part of this anymore, but I knew he wouldn't tell Soda or Darry that I'd called Matt.

"I'll just go out on the porch for a smoke." He said subtly removing himself so that I could speak to Matt alone, or maybe so that he could deny all knowledge of the call, since he hadn't heard it! I dialled the number and prayed for Matt to be there and to answer.

"Hello?" came Matt's voice.

"Hey Matt, it's me!"

"Becky! Oh, I'm so glad to hear from you. I dared not call in case Darry or Soda picked up and you got into more trouble. How are you? What happened on Saturday? Are you in big trouble?"

"Well, Darry and Soda went crazy when they found out we'd been together for 3 months. They are mad that we deceived them and they say I can't see you anymore. I even suggested we see each other with them around, but they didn't even go for that idea. I'm grounded for a week, but the worst thing is they say we can't be together."

"Oh Bex, what are we gonna do? I can't spend the next 3 weeks before I go without even seeing you. I can't believe our bad luck at getting found out now, after all this time."

"I know. Well there is a way we may be able to see each other for a short while, at least this week. Soda goes to work for 2.00 and then Pony and I are alone till 3.00 when Two-Bit comes over, basically to babysit us! So, would you be able to come over tomorrow at 2.00? You'd have to park your car somewhere out of sight in case it gets spotted."

"I'm sure I could manage that. We'll get a whole hour together, which is better than nothing. I really thought your brothers were starting to like me. I thought they may take it better than this." Matt said despondently.

"Well, I guess they did like you, as a tutor for me and a friend for Pony, but not as my boyfriend. Apparently I can't date till I'm 14 and even then they wouldn't let me date you because you are too old for me, so they say."

"I'm sorry to have caused you all this trouble with your brothers. I know how close you all are."

"Well, I'm not sorry that we got together. I can't be sorry about that. I'd better get off the phone in case Two-Bit comes by, but I'll see you tomorrow at 2.00?"

"Yeah Baby. I love you." He said the last part quietly.

"I love you too." I said blushing, that was the first time we had said that to each other. I went back to Tara who was waiting in my room.

"He's coming tomorrow. I hope we don't get caught. I'm worried what my brothers will do to him if they find him here."

"They won't, well only Pony and he ain't gonna do anything. He seems to be on your side about this, so don't worry about it." Tara reassured me.

"Anyway, I'm sorry it always seems to be about me at the moment Tara. How's it going with you and Carl?" I asked.

"It's ok." She said unenthusiastically. "I like him and we get on just fine, but I'm not sure if we're gonna last much longer."

"Why?"

"I dunno. We don't have enough to talk about. All he wants to do is make out and as much as I like that, it's not _all_ I wanna do. I think he'd like to take things further and I don't want that either."

"Oh Tara. I'm so sorry. I've been so caught up in Matt and me that I hadn't realised. What are you gonna do?"

"Well, I think we'll just carry on as we are until one of us ends it. I don't know if I have the courage to end it myself."

"Well, just be careful. Don't let him force you into anything you don't wanna do Tar. You'll regret it later and if he's not 'the one' then you don't wanna be doing that anyway."

"I know, I know. If he tries anything then it's my excuse to end it."

"Just as long as he takes no for an answer Tara."

"He will, he's not a bad guy, he's just ready for more than I am."

I heard the screen door slam and Two-Bit making his usual noisy entrance.

"Shall I hop out the window?" asked Tara.

"Nah, Two-Bit ain't gonna care if you're here! If it were Matt that may be a different story…" I smiled.

Tara raised her eyebrows. "Shall we go say hi?"

"We'd better before he comes barging in here!" Tara and I went into the living room where Two-Bit was recounting some long-winded tale to Pony, about what he had been up to the night before.

"Hey Bexster!" he called when he saw me "And Tara – hey I thought you were meant to be grounded Little Curtis?"

"Yeah, I am, but if Pony gets to have you around, why can't I have Tara?" I asked.

"I ain't here cos Pony's my friend, I'm the babysitter, remember?"

"Well, you can leave then, cos Pony and I don't need a baby sitter, do we Pone?" Pony grinned and shook his head.

"Well, sorry to disappoint ya there, but I promised that scary big brother of yours that I would stay till he gets back from work, so I'm afraid you're stuck with me." Two-Bit grinned.

"Can Tara stay?" I asked.

He looked surprised that I was asking his permission. "I guess so, but she needs to leave before Darry gets back at 4.00 or Darry will have my butt."

I smiled "Thanks Two-Bit, you're a pal!"

He laughed "You guys fancy a game of cards?"

"Sure, why not?" said Tara.

"Ok." Pony agreed, even he had had enough of reading by now.

"Sure, but no cheating Two-Bit!" I teased.

"Me? Cheat? How dare you! I am as honest as the day is long Bexster, I only win by pure skill alone."

"Yeah right!"

We played a couple of rounds of Poker. I was never very good at it and I was losing by a mile. Luckily we were only playing for matchsticks. Two-Bit was winning of course whether it was by means foul or fair I wasn't sure! Tara had to leave then so I went back to my room leaving Pony and Two-Bit to it.

I felt considerably more positive than when the day had begun. Tara was gonna be able to come round whilst I was grounded as long as Two-Bit continued to allow it and I had managed to talk with Matt and would actually get to see him tomorrow! I couldn't wait, even if it was only for an hour. I was a bit scared of Darry or Soda finding out, but my desire to see Matt outweighed my fear of being caught. I was determined to defy my brothers' orders and see Matt as much as I could before I wouldn't be able to see him anymore.

_**Please read and review - it means such a lot to have your feedback!**_


	20. Chapter 20 - Christmas and angry boys

Chapter 20

**Christmas and angry boys**

Matt came round on Tuesday and Wednesday at 2.00 and we had an hour together. It was such a relief to see him. We chatted about plans to see one another after Christmas, once my grounding was over. It would be easier then for us to get together. After that Matt would only have one week of school left before he had to leave. I couldn't bear to think about it. It was just so easy being with Matt and we spent a lot of our limited time just snuggled up side by side on my bed. Only kissing and cuddling, nothing more, but it was good.

We were in just such a position on Thursday and so caught up in each other that we didn't realise that it was already 3.00, nor that Two-Bit had arrived. In usual Two-Bit fashion he came barging into my room and was very surprised at what he found.

"Becky! What the heck do you think you're doing?!" He pointed at Matt. "You! Get outta here, before I kick your butt!" Matt got up off the bed and sidled nervously out past Two-Bit, giving me a little wave.

"I'll call you." He said.

"I told you to leave!" Two-Bit bellowed. I had never seen this side of Two-Bit before, but I could see he could be quite intimidating when he wanted to be. Matt left and he turned to me and raised his eyebrows, asking for an explanation.

"We weren't doing anything Two-Bit, just kissing." I was blushing.

"You trying to get me into trouble Becky? He ain't meant to be here and you know it. Just cos I let you have Tara round here don't mean you can have Matt here."

"Sorry Two-Bit. He was meant to leave before you got here, I wasn't trying to get you into trouble. Please don't tell Darry and Soda, please! They'll kill me!"

Two-Bit looked distinctly uncomfortable "I ain't happy covering for you about this Becky. I don't like the guy and I don't like how I just found you two."

"I promise Two-Bit, we weren't doing anything wrong."

He grunted "Ok, I won't say anything this time, but if I see him here again I'm going straight to Darry. You stay away from him Bexster!" he said sternly.

I looked down, unhappy that even Two-Bit was against me on this, but at least he wasn't going to rat on me this time. "Thanks Two-Bit."

He nodded and left my room not looking his usual carefree self.

On Christmas Eve, which was the Friday, Darry and Soda were both working just the morning, so Pony and I were left alone for a few hours. Two-Bit was busy looking after his own sister while his Mom, went Christmas food shopping.

Matt came around early at 10.00. He couldn't stay as he had to go and be with his family, but he came to give me my gift. I was expecting the flat package containing the promised recording of his song, but there was a small box as well.

"What is it?!" I asked excitedly.

"You'll have to wait and see, unless you want to open them now?"

"Can I?"

"Well I won't see you tomorrow will I? We'll both be with our families."

"Ok, here's yours." I handed him a flat package wrapped in newspaper and tied with a bow. "Sorry for the wrapping, I didn't have any paper."

"Hey, I wasn't expecting anything from you Bex. Thank you Baby."

I opened the flat gift from him first, as suspected it was the record of his song, my song. Next he opened the present from me. One of Matt's friends, Mark, had snapped a great photo of the two of us at Matt's party and he gave me a copy. I had found a frame for it and wrapped it up.

"Thanks Bex, this is such a good photo of you. It'll be great to have this while I'm in California." He gave me a kiss then urged me to open the other gift from him, "Go on, open this one Baby."

"Ok." I smiled and tore the paper off the small rectangular package. Inside was a blue box with a hinged lid. I opened it and found a beautiful silver pendant with a small heart on it.

"Oh Matt, you shouldn't have, it's so beautiful! Thank you!" I stood on tiptoe to give him a kiss.

"Here, let me put it on for you. It's got our initials engraved on the back." He lifted my hair out of the way and fastened the clasp at the back of my neck. I held the pendant in my fingers and looked down at it.

"It's perfect Matt, I love it!" He smiled, pleased that I liked his gift so much. He had to leave then, so after one last kiss I went off to my room to wrap gifts for Darry, Soda and Pony, before Darry and Soda got back from work. I had found some money in my old piggy bank that I had saved from odd dimes and nickels I had found or been given. I had scraped enough together to get Pony a new sketchpad and Darry and Soda a new t-shirt each. Nothing very exciting, but it was all I could do with what I had. I wrapped them in one of Soda's old car magazines and tied red string around them.

Darry and Soda arrived back together at 1.30 carrying a large Christmas tree they had picked up from the sale at the church on their way home. I grinned when I saw what they had.

"Wow, it's a beauty!" I said.

"I chose it." Soda said with some pride.

"Let's get it set up and then we can get the decorations from the basement and make it look like Christmas in here!" Darry suggested.

Pony had come out of his room too and looked as excited as I was to see the arrival of the tree. Darry and Soda set it up in the corner of the living room and then Pony and Darry went down to get the decorations.

It felt good to be doing something all together and it had always been us who had decorated the tree, even when Mom and Dad were alive. Dad always got the tree on his way home from work and the four of us decorated it. Mom always made salt-dough cookies which we painted and hung on the tree with ribbon. It felt sad not to have Mom and Dad there of course, but it felt right for us to be celebrating just the four of us and doing it in memory of them by sticking to at least some of our traditions. It was almost like things were normal as we joked and teased each other while we hung the decorations.

That evening we all stayed in and had popcorn and watched tv together. There were no big arguments, just lots of laughter. We were all trying our best to make it a happy time, despite the hole left by Mom and Dad. I went to bed early that night, still wearing my new necklace, tucked inside my t-shirt.

I woke early on Christmas morning. Unusually I was the first one awake. Normally Soda was like a little kid on Christmas morning, bouncing in and waking us all up, in a hurry to get the day started. When I woke at 7.30 he was still sleeping and I took the opportunity to slip my gifts under the tree. I got washed and dressed and by the time I was ready I could hear Ponyboy was up too and Darry was busy in the kitchen.

Pony knocked on my door fully dressed. "Happy Christmas Bex!"

"Happy Christmas Pone!"

"I'm going to the 8.30 service, do you wanna come with me?" he asked. He and Mom had always gone to church on Christmas morning and I liked the idea of carrying that tradition on for Pony.

"Yeah, ok Pony. I'd like to."

We went into the kitchen. "Happy Christmas you two early birds!" Darry said smiling.

"Happy Christmas!" we both replied. "Darry, Becky and I are going to church, is that ok?"

"Of course Pony, are you gonna have some breakfast first? I made some French toast and bacon."

"Hmmm, yes please!" I said. French toast was my absolute favourite.

"Well, you'd better eat quickly." Pony said. "We have to leave in 10 minutes."

"I think I can manage that." I said sitting down and loading my plate up whilst Pony did the same.

"Is Soda still sleeping?" I asked through my mouthful.

"Yeah, he went out with Steve after you guys went to bed and didn't get back till 2.00."

I rolled my eyes "I missed him jumping on me like the Christmas bunny this morning." I joked.

"It's the _Easter _bunny, Dork!" Pony teased.

"Yeah, I know!" I said with some irritation. "I just mean he's usually up and bouncing around like a bunny by now."

"More like a demented kangaroo!" Darry said and we all laughed.

Pony and I left for the service. I'm sure he was feeling Mom's absence a lot, as this was something they always did together. I was glad he had asked me along. I linked my arm through his as we walked along. He gave me a strange look, but he didn't pull away.

The service was only about 40 minutes long. It was nice, lots of Christmas carols and some readings. The minister was a young guy and his talk about the real meaning of Christmas and the hope that it brings was really uplifting. It was a good way to start the day.

By the time we got back Soda was up and bouncing. "Happy Christmas!" he yelled grabbing Pony and I round the neck and squeezing. "When are we gonna open the gifts?" he asked eagerly.

"After lunch as always." Darry said firmly.

"Oh man! I hate waiting, can't we change the rules?!"

"No!" Pony, Darry and I all said. We liked having the gifts after lunch. It made the excitement of the day last longer somehow.

Darry had already got a chicken ready for the oven and was working on the potatoes and sweet potatoes.

"What can I do to help?" I asked.

Darry smiled "You can peel some carrots and shell some peas."

"Sure." I started in on the veg.

"Thanks Bex," Darry gave me a sideways hug and kissed me on top of the head. I squeezed him back round the waist.

"We can't leave you to do all the work!" I said.

Lunch was ready by 1.30. We were all starving and tucked in heartily. It was almost as good as Mom's. Darry had even made Mom's famous lemon tart, which we ate with ice cream. By the end we were all thoroughly stuffed and we decided to leave the dishes until later and lounged about in the living room.

"_Now_ can we open the gifts!" whined Soda. He really was just a big kid at heart.

"Ok." Darry agreed.

"I'll give them out." I offered. There weren't many gifts, just one from each of us siblings for each other. Soda got me the latest Elvis single, Pony gave me a second-hand copy of Little House on the Prairie, which was one of my favourite stories which Dad read to me and Darry got me some new pale green gloves and a matching scarf. I loved all my presents and the boys seemed to like theirs.

We settled down to watch 'Miracle on 34th Street', my all-time favourite Christmas movie. I'm sure my brothers would rather watch something else, but it had become a Christmas tradition for all of us to watch whatever Christmas movie was on on Christmas afternoon. I snuggled up next to Soda on the couch with my head on his shoulder and my feet on Pony's lap. Everything felt right with the world for once and I could forget all the problems with Matt and everything else, at least for one night.

Darry and Soda only had two days off work, Christmas day and the 26th, then they were back until new year's day. Pony and I were no longer grounded, but I was still warned to stay away from Matt. That Monday I had arranged to go around to Tara's and Carl and Matt were going to come and join us there. Pony was going out somewhere with Two-Bit, probably to the Dingo or just to hang around at the DX with Soda and Steve. Then they were going to watch a movie in the afternoon.

I arrived at Tara's at 11.00 and Matt's Stingray pulled up just as I was knocking on Tara's door. Tara opened up, "Oh hey y'all! You all got here at the same time! Come on in."

Matt and Carl came up the porch steps behind me and Matt put a hand on my shoulder.

"Hey Baby, good to see you out of your cell!" he joked.

"You're telling me, it's great to be out of the house. Even better to see you and not worry about Two-Bit or my brothers catching us together!"

"Yeah." We all went into the living room and Tara got us all a Pepsi before sitting on Carl's lap. Carl started whispering something to her and Tara rolled her eyes and looked slightly annoyed.

"Not now Carl. Why don't we play a game or something?"

"A game?" Carl said scathingly.

"Yeah, that sounds good. I like games." Said Matt "What did you have in mind?"

"I dunno cards or we could play monopoly, we have it in the closet somewhere."

Carl rolled his eyes, obviously unimpressed at the suggestion. He sniggered and said "Next you'll be suggesting we play Tiddly winks or Go Fish, baby. What is this a kindergarten gathering?"

"Ok, what do you have in mind then Carl? And I mean something we can all do together!" Tara snapped. Carl shrugged, he was obviously sulking about Tara's refusal of his whispered proposition, which I was sure involved them going to be alone somewhere.

"How about we go bowling or something then?" Matt suggested.

"I don't know, I think being out in public with you is too risky. Someone is bound to spot us." I said, you could be sure if we went bowling Two-Bit and Pony would turn up or something.

"What about if we go to Jay's? None of your brothers or their friends ever go there do they? We could go get some lunch."

"Ok. I guess that would be safe."

"You sure Bex? We don't have to go anywhere, just cos Carl's being a pain." Tara said.

Carl shot Tara a dirty look. "Just cos I don't wanna spend my Christmas break playing Go Fish!" he retorted.

"Come on, let's go. I'll drive us. "Matt said, trying to stop things before it escalated into a real argument.

I climbed in the passenger seat and Tara and Carl got in the back. Matt squeezed my hand as he started the car. "Don't worry Bex, it'll be ok."

I nodded, still not convinced that going out in public was really the best move, but I tried to push my anxiety about getting caught to one side and focus on the pleasure I felt at being with Matt….and I did love Jay's burgers too. We went in and ordered food and drinks and chatted amongst ourselves. Tara and Carl went outside for a cigarette and Matt and I took advantage to make out for a bit. It was like old times when we used to come there at lunchtimes! Carl and Tara seemed to be doing nothing but get at each other. As I glanced outside I could see they were arguing again. Carl tried to put his arm around Tara and kiss her neck, but she pushed him away and he yelled something and then stormed off.

"Matt, I just need to go talk to Tara." I said slipping out of the booth and going to check on my friend.

"Tara, are you ok?" I could see she was upset. "What just happened?" She wasn't crying, but she was very close to tears.

"Carl wanted me to go back to his place with him, for some alone time and we all know what he meant by that! When I said I preferred to hang out as a foursome he told me that he was through with me and my pussy footing around and he was going to find himself a real woman who wasn't too scared to have sex!"

"You think he really meant it?" I said shocked.

Tara nodded and a solitary tear rolled down her face. "Even if he didn't I can't believe he just said all that to me. I thought he liked me at least a bit. I knew he wanted more, but I didn't think he would end it all because I wasn't ready. Oh well, I guess it saves me the job of ending it myself. It still hurts though. I did really like him."

"I know you did." I put my arm around her. "I can't believe he was so mean about it. I guess he was angry. I know he did really like you, it was obvious to anyone Tara. What do you wanna do, go back home or back to my place?"

"Let's eat lunch now we're here." She said trying to smile. "Then I think I'll go home and leave you and Matt to yourselves for a bit. Will you be able to hang out at yours?"

"Yeah, for a bit. Darry and Soda are both working till 5.00 and Pony and Two-Bit are going to the movies, so we'll have time, but I am happy to stay with you if you want. I don't wanna abandon you if you need some company. I can see Matt tomorrow."

"Nah, it's ok. I'll stay around for lunch then I think I need a bit of time on my own anyway."

"Well, let me know if you change your mind."

We went back into Jay's and Tara went to the bathroom to wash her face, while I explained to Matt what had happened with Carl. He was really annoyed with his friend.

"He can be such an immature jerk, he really can. I'm sorry he's hurt Tara."

When Tara came back he was really sweet with her. I sat next to Tara and he sat opposite, so as not to make her feel bad. I felt so grateful to him for being kind to my best friend. Every time I saw Matt there were more things I loved about him. I had never been a particularly sappy kind of person, but I could honestly spend all day thinking about him and it would always bring a smile and a blush to my face. He was just so awesome!

We dropped Tara off at her place around 2.00, after we had eaten. She assured me that she would be fine on her own and didn't want me to stay. I hoped she really meant it and wasn't just being nice so that Matt and I could spend more time together. We went back to my place and Matt parked a couple of streets over, just in case! We didn't need to hide out in the bedroom this time, as nobody was gonna be coming back anytime soon, so we sat on the sofa. I sat on one end with my feet on his lap while he gave me a foot rub – I loved having my feet massaged! We chatted and joked.

"So, what's your new school in Santa Monica like?"

Matt rolled his eyes, "They've enrolled me in this boys Catholic High School. Sounds pretty boring."

"Well, it sounds good to me, no girls to tempt you." I smiled. I was sort of joking, but it did actually make me feel slightly better. If he was going to be so far away then he at least would not be surrounded by girls all day.

"No girl is gonna tempt me away from you Baby, I hope you know that. We're going to make it work."

It was nice that he was so definite about it. He leaned forward and lay right on top of me, holding himself up on his arms, so as not to squash me, He looked me in the eyes, "I mean it Becky. I'm not interested in other girls." He leaned down and we kissed, but were rudely interrupted by the screen door slamming shut.

Matt and I sat bolt upright to see a very embarrassed looking Ponyboy and an angry looking Two-Bit. He came forward and grabbed Matt by his collar.

"I thought I told you to get out and stay out."

"Hey buddy, I'll leave you don't have to drag me." Matt said holding his hands up in surrender.

Two-Bit ignored him and grabbed him by the arm, dragging him out of the screen door and pushing him down the porch steps, so he ended up sprawled at the bottom. Matt struggled to his feet and Two-Bit was ready with a fist to the side of his face.

"Stop!" I yelled as I came out onto the porch. Two-Bit let him go.

"Now, I mean it Soc, get out of here and do not come near Rebecca again, you got it? Next time it will be her brothers and they will be even madder than me, so if I were you I would stay away and be glad that you are escaping to California. The further away the better."

Matt held on to the side of his face and glanced at me. "Matt are you ok?" I stepped forward to go to him and Two-Bit put his arm across the porch rail, blocking my way.

"You stay where you are Rebecca." He said in a stern voice. Matt turned and went. It was the only thing he could do. Two-Bit turned back to me once Matt was out of sight. "Back inside Rebecca." he pointed.

I turned and went back in. My heart was pounding. I had never seen Two-Bit this mad and he never called me Rebecca. I didn't like this angry side of him. I sat back down on the couch with tears threatening.

"I told you to stay away from him Rebecca and so did your brothers! He had his hands all over you just now!" Two-Bit yelled.

The tears were falling now. "We were just…"

"Don't give me that just kissing crap, I saw him lying on top of you, that's more than a kiss!"

"But, we _were_ just kissing Two-Bit. You ain't gonna say anything to Darry and Soda are ya?"

"I told you if I caught you together again I wasn't gonna cover for ya and I ain't. I agree with your brothers about that one Becky. He's not right for you and you are gonna get yourself in trouble if you carry on like you are. I don't wanna see that happen to you."

"Nothing's gonna happen to me except I'll be happy, but nobody seems to care about that round here!" I yelled through my tears then stormed off towards my room. "I thought you were my friend." I spat out.

"I am, that's why I wanna look after you Becky. You're my honorary baby sister, I told you that before."

"Yeah, well maybe I need a good friend and not another big brother, ever think of that Two-Bit?!" I turned, went into my room and slammed the door.

I heard Pony and Two-Bit talking as I lay on my bed crying. It was 3.30 and Darry would be back in an hour and a half. I felt nothing but dread at the pit of my stomach. I put my radio on and turned it up loud to express my anger. If Darry were here he'd be yelling at me to turn it down, but Two-Bit and Pony just left me to it. I turned it down after a bit anyway as my head was aching what with that and the crying!

At just after 5.00 I heard the screen door slam and voices in the living room. Two-Bit had obviously stayed around to rat on me to Darry and Soda. I was practically holding my breath waiting for Darry to come storming into my room and I didn't have to wait for long.

"What the heck do you think you are playing at Rebecca?!" he yelled as loud as I had ever heard him. "Did you really think you could get away with spending all your time with Matt while we were at work and we wouldn't find out about it?"

I felt my heart beating faster. I was scared but I was trying not to cry for once. I wasn't gonna say I was sorry, because I wasn't sorry. I knew I had deliberately disobeyed my brothers and I had no defence except for the fact that I thought they were wrong! That defence was going to get me nowhere of course! I shook my head.

"I don't want to have to take time off work and lose money just to keep an eye on you Rebecca, but it seems to be the only way I can be sure you are doing as you are told."

I felt guilty then. I knew Darry worried about money all the time and that we barely had enough. The last thing he needed was to lose four days pay just to look after me. I was sorry that I was forcing him to do that.

"You don't have to do that Darry."

He ignored me. "Did you not listen to a word I said to you the other day? I said you were not to see Matt again! I said you were not allowed to be alone with a boy until you were at least 14! I said no clothes off! I am scared about the way you are headed little girl. Do you really wanna end up a mom aged 14?"

"Darry, I did listen to you and we didn't take anything off. Two-Bit got the wrong end of the stick. We were only kissing, we were just lying down on the couch, that was all."

"That was all! You are missing the point entirely Rebecca, you were not meant to be with him in the first place. What do I have to do to make you do as you are told?"

"I'm not some little kid Darry. You don't always know what's best for me, sometimes I know better!" I was pretty angry or I wouldn't have dared to talk to Darry like that.

His face went even redder and he grabbed my arm. "I am your guardian Rebecca, whether you like it or not and you will listen to me. You may think you are not a kid, but you are and you have to obey some rules, like I had to when I was a kid too. I never would have dared to talk to Mom or Dad the way you just did to me and I never would have dared to go against what they said the way you do. It is my job to keep you safe and I can't do that if you are going behind my back and disobeying me entirely. I didn't spank you when I found out about Matt, because I thought talking to you was good enough, but it obviously wasn't."

My stomach flipped. He wasn't gonna spank me again. Not again. "Ok Darry, I won't see Matt behind your back anymore, but won't you reconsider my seeing him with you or Soda there? The only reason I went behind your back was because I can't bear not to see him, I need to see him Darry." I pleaded.

"Forget it Rebecca! There is no way you are seeing him with or without us. It is over. Now I want you to learn not to disobey me and not to talk back to me the way you just did." He pulled me down on the bed and over his knees. He was madder than the last 2 times this had happened, then he had been calm and deliberate about it, now he was in a rage. He yanked my jeans down and I wriggled and kicked to try and get away. "Stay still!" he bellowed. I was sobbing and flailing when his hand landed harder than ever on my butt. Without the jeans it hurt even more and I was sure he was using more force because of his anger.

"Oww Darry stop! You are really hurting me."

He ignored me and he kept on hitting me, it must have been at least 15 times, but I lost count. At the end he pushed me back onto the bed and just left. He must really hate me right now, I thought to myself and that made me cry even harder. I pulled my jeans back up and my butt was stinging like crazy. I know Darry did it because he didn't know what else to do to make me stay away from Matt. I was mad too though. This time I wasn't prepared to forgive Darry for hitting me. He really did hurt me and he didn't bother to console me afterwards this time either. This time was different. It was done out of anger and not with calm resolution like the first two times.

Even though I was mad I still felt guilty that Darry was thinking of staying off work for 4 days, just because of my disobedience. I was even prepared to abide by the rules and stay away from Matt, at least for the rest of this week, if I could get Darry to go back to work. I knew we couldn't afford for him to miss all those shifts. I would feel totally selfish if he did that.

I was left to my own devices all evening and not even called out to dinner. Darry must have been really mad because that never happened. I was really in the dog house. Not even Soda came to talk to me. He usually liked to smooth things over, even if he was mad at me. At 9.00 I decided I may as well go to bed and I went to the bathroom to pee and brush my teeth. When I came out of the bathroom Darry was there waiting for me. I was not in the mood to talk to him, so I walked straight past him without saying a word.

"Becky!" he called after me. "Just wanted to let you know, I just spoke to my boss. I will be staying home with you tomorrow and the rest of the week, till you go back to school, next Tuesday and it goes without saying you are not allowed out, other than for any errands that I need to run."

I shrugged as acknowledgement that I'd heard and went off into my room.

"Night Becky." He called after me. Maybe he was feeling bad about what happened, I hoped so. I didn't bother to answer him. For once _he_ needed to apologise to _me_ and I decided until then, I would only talk to him when absolutely necessary. I heard him and Soda talking out in the kitchen and then predictably there was a knock at my door.

"Who is it?" I called.

"It's Soda, can I come in?"

"I suppose so." I replied sullenly. I was sitting in bed with my book open on my lap.

"Becky, Darry says you are not talking to him."

"That's right." I said gruffly.

"He's only doing what he thinks is best Becky, he wants to do right by you and protect you that's all."

"Well, I call hitting people a funny way of protecting them! He really hurt me and then he just left me crying as if he hated me. I can't just move on and pretend that didn't happen."

"You were in the wrong Becky, you know that. You completely disobeyed him, and me, and you were lying to us again. We can't just let that go unpunished you know, it's important that you listen to Darry. He is the one in charge and he's doing his best to keep us all together. If you carry on the way you are you'll end up in some big trouble and we will all be sent to kids homes because they'll say Darry can't take care of us. I'm not surprised Darry got as mad as he did, I was pretty mad too when Two-Bit told us how he found you and Matt this afternoon. You can't be fooling around with boys like that, especially not at your age and especially not when we have told you not to see him."

"I keep telling everyone, all we've ever done is kiss and we haven't broken Darry's stupid 'clothes on' rule. I bet you and Sarah have though." I sassed.

"It's not a stupid rule and we're talking about you here not me. It's a totally different thing. You are 12, I am nearly 18. You are a child. What's ok for me is not necessarily ok for you. And especially cos you're a girl. If you go too far there can be big consequences ya know?"

"Well like I keep saying we are not doing anything like that, so there's no need to worry. I'm sick of talking about this Soda. You and Darry and me are never going to agree. You are not going to convince me that it's wrong to be with Matt, because he's a good person and we love each other."

Soda rolled his eyes. He was frustrated with me, probably because we are so similar. I know he fell in love with Sandy very quickly, like I did with Matt and it hadn't ended well for him. That didn't mean Matt and I would end the same way though.

"Whether we convince you or not, you are not allowed to see him Becky. He's leaving anyway in a couple of weeks, why don't you say your goodbyes now and leave it at that."

"No! Just because he's moving away doesn't mean we can't stay together."

"Well, you can't be together whether he stays or goes Rebecca, we've already told you that. I can't believe that we are having all this trouble with you. You were always such a good girl and now all you wanna do is defy us and get into trouble."

"I don't wanna defy you and I don't wanna get into trouble, but if you give me rules that are so unfair then that's what happens." I yelled.

Soda gave a deep sigh of frustration. "Do you know what Rebecca, I can see why Darry lost his temper with you. It's impossible to have a reasonable conversation with you about this. I can't believe that Darry is having to take time off work and lose out on money that we need just because of you being so stubborn and selfish!"

I couldn't help but feel guilty at those words. I felt bad about that, but I didn't know how to make it right. "He doesn't have to do that Soda. I really promise I won't try and see Matt this week, ok? I know we can't afford for Darry to take so much time off work."

"How can we trust your promises Becky? You have really let us down."

"This is different, I know Darry can't miss work like this and I don't wanna be responsible for all of us losing out on his pay. I really mean it, if Darry goes back to work this week I will not see Matt behind your backs. I promise."

"Well, I'll talk to Darry. Maybe I'll be able to change my shift to work the late shift again and maybe Two-bit will help us out again."

"Pony will be here too won't he?"

"Yeah, but I don't know if we can trust him not to cover for you."

"He won't Soda, he told me he ain't gonna do that anymore. I know you don't trust _me_, but you can trust him and Two-Bit. He already ratted me out this time didn't he, so you know _he's_ a reliable spy." I couldn't help being sarcastic. I felt so annoyed that they thought I needed babysitting all the time and annoyed with myself that it was because I had made them not trust me.

"Well Becky, I'm afraid we only feel the need to 'spy on you', as you put it, because of your lies. You need to earn back some trust before we feel happy to rely on your word again."

I felt a tear escape down my cheek. I hated that my brothers didn't trust me anymore, but I knew that there was only myself to blame for that side of things. I had gone behind their backs twice now, that they knew of and why should they believe me if I told them I wouldn't do it again?

"I'll go talk to Darry about changing my shift and about Two-Bit. See if I can persuade him to go back to work." Soda said more softly. He always hated to see me cry.

I nodded and wiped my eyes with the back of my hand. "Come on Bex, it'll be ok. Let's try and have a fresh start." He came over and cupped my face with his hand, wiping another tear with his thumb.

He went out and I heard him talking to Darry in the kitchen. I switched my lamp off and tried to go to sleep. I must have drifted off eventually, but I didn't sleep deeply all night and when Darry woke me in the morning I felt exhausted.


	21. Chapter 21 -Making up & Back to school

_**Thank you so much to all those who have reviewed - it's so encouraging to get positive feedback. It really makes my day and inspires me to keep on going with the story! So, thank you, thank you, thank you!**_

Chapter 21

**Making up&amp; back to school trouble**

I went into the kitchen to find Darry sitting at the table with a cup of coffee and the newspaper. "Do you want some eggs?" he asked me. I was determined still not to talk to him until he acknowledged that he had been wrong to hit me the way he did and until he said he was sorry. I didn't answer him, just got myself a plate and put some toast and eggs on it before sitting down at the table as far away from Darry as possible.

"Still giving me the silent treatment hey? Well, it's gonna be a nice peaceful day here then."

"Huh!" I grunted. If that was his attempt at a joke, then it wasn't funny. I was itching to ask him if Soda had spoken to him and if he was going back to work tomorrow, but I had resolved not to make conversation with him. So I ate my breakfast in silence and Darry ignored me, just reading his paper, which was infuriating. I wanted him to be annoyed with my silent treatment, not to ignore it or take it as a joke! He was being deliberately annoying. I washed my dishes and then went off towards my room.

"You can come sit out in the living room where I can see you Becky." Darry said and I knew it wasn't a suggestion, more of an order. He was really taking this 'being by his side' thing to the extreme! Well, it would be easier to make my point about not talking to him if I was there with him than if I was shut away in my room. I went to get my book and then sat down in the armchair, studiously ignoring Darry as he watched me.

"I need to go and clear out the shed later, so you'll have to come and help me and this afternoon we have to go get the groceries."

I made no sign that I had heard him. He went off to the laundry room and came back with a huge basket of clean clothes. "Here, make yourself useful and fold these." I wanted to complain and whine, but I was sticking to my guns and didn't utter a word, just got up and started folding the mountain of clothes. Darry smiled. "This no talking thing could definitely catch on – that's the first time ever you have folded the laundry when I asked you without complaining!" He laughed.

I was fuming. He was not taking this seriously as he was meant to and this was my only plan to get him to do what I wanted and apologise! I huffed and slammed each piece of laundry on the piles. He was making me really angry. He watched with a half-smile, but then he seemed to check himself and his expression changed and he looked more serious. He sat down on the couch next to the laundry,

"Bex, come sit here next to me a minute." I ignored him and carried on folding the washing. "Come on Becky, I want to talk to you."

Reluctantly I shuffled over and sat on the couch as far from him as I could, which wasn't far as there wasn't much room with all the laundry there. Darry looked nervous.

"Becky, I wanted to say I'm really sorry for losing my temper last night and spanking you the way I did. I was out of control and I should have walked away and talked to you when I had calmed down. I'm sorry if I hurt you badly or if I scared you."

That was exactly what I had been waiting for and my hard heart softened at his apology, though I wasn't ready to forgive him completely yet. "Yeah Darry, you really hurt me and you didn't even seem to care that you did. I felt like you really couldn't stand me and that's what hurt more." My lip trembled.

"I told ya before Bex, I love you and always will, no matter how mad I get with you. Am I forgiven? Are you gonna talk to me again? I promise next time I get mad I will cool down first before I hand out any punishment, ok?"

I nodded and 2 tears rolled down my cheeks. "Come here." Darry said gently and enveloped me in a huge hug and I relaxed into him, relieved to have had his apology and to be able to forgive him.

"Darry, did Soda talk to you last night about you going back to work?"

"Yeah, we got it all worked out. I'm going back tomorrow, Soda has managed to swap his shifts so he'll be around during the morning and Two-Bit is gonna come around in the afternoon like before."

"Am I grounded Darry, or can I have Tara around?"

"Well, you should be grounded, but the main point is that you are not to see Matt, so I guess I can allow Tara to come around, but you are not allowed out."

"OK Darry, I promise I will not try and see Matt anyway." At least not this week, I thought to myself. I will just talk to him on the phone instead. "I don't want you to be so worried about me that you stay off work."

"I'll always worry about you Becky, it comes with the job. It would really put my mind at rest if you could keep your promise and stay away from Matt this time."

"I'm sorry for making you not trust me. I didn't want to deceive you Darry, I wasn't thinking about that, only about seeing Matt."

"I understand that, but sometimes you have to trust that I know what's best for you and it may seem harsh to keep you and Matt apart, but it is the right thing for you. You will forget about him in a month or so and wonder what all the heartache was about."

"I won't Darry. It's not just a crush or something, we have something good. We get on and we understand each other. He is sweeter to me than anyone has ever been and it is genuine, not just to get something from me, if that's what you're thinking. He's had plenty of opportunities to take advantage of me, but he never has. In fact he suggested we only meet in more public places to avoid anything happening…"

"Becky, I don't wanna hear about this. Maybe he has good intentions, but I still can't condone him going after someone as young as you. It's totally inappropriate and even if he were only 14 I would still feel the same about it. You know the rules now and I expect you to stick to them, understand?"

"Yeah, but won't you even consider us meeting with a chaperone?" I tried again.

"Becky, I said no to that already. You need a clean break from him, as hard as it may feel. It's for the best."

"Well, it doesn't feel that way at all. I am really miserable without him and I'm gonna be even more miserable when he moves to California, especially if I haven't had the chance to say goodbye properly."

"I'm sorry Bex, but that's the way it has to be." Darry stood up, signifying the end of our conversation.

I was sorry that my brothers were not prepared to make any compromise about me seeing Matt. I knew I couldn't stay away from him while he was still here, so I would have to go against their wishes again. I hated to do it, but I was going to have to, they were giving me no choice. I wouldn't see him this week as I had promised, but once we were back at school I would find a way to be with him again. It would be his final week in Tulsa and there was no way any stupid dating rules made up by Darry were gonna stop me from seeing him these last few times.

That day went by quickly, as Darry was a master at coming up with new and increasingly tedious chores. Clearing out the shed was the pinnacle of bad jobs. Not only was it boring just taking out all the old tools and paintpots and rusty bicycles, it was also filthy and dusty and insect ridden. I was so glad to get out of there and take a shower before the next job, which was grocery shopping. Darry sure knew how to have fun!

Soda stayed home and Darry went to work the next morning as planned. I had called Tara the night before and she came round about 10.30 and we went off to my room to talk. Thankfully, Soda wasn't being as vigilant as Darry about keeping me by his side at all times. He went outside to do some work on his car and Pony went to help him.

"How are you doing Tara? Have you heard from Carl at all?"

"No, not a word. We really are through. I feel sad cos I really did like him, but in some ways I'm relieved. I told you I was getting uncomfortable with how physical he wanted to be all the time."

"Yeah, I'm really sorry it didn't work out for you two. You'll find someone better, I know you will."

Tara shrugged. "I'm not sure I want to for a while anyhow. You really lucked out with Matt. He's such a great guy and so kind."

I couldn't help a grin spreading across my face. "He is pretty awesome. If only Darry and Soda would agree!"

"Yeah, have you spoken to Matt since Two-Bit caught you two?"

"No, I haven't had a chance. I promised Darry this time I won't try and see him, so I'm gonna keep my word and not see him this week, but I really need to talk to him. I'm gonna try and phone once Soda's gone to work, as long as Two-Bit isn't here yet."

"I can't believe Two-Bit ratted you out like that. It's so unlike him."

"Yeah, I've never seen him that mad! He was as bad as Darry and Soda, telling me to stay away from Matt. I can't believe he actually punched Matt in the face. I really hope he didn't hurt him too bad."

"It's the down side of them all caring so much about you Bex. They wanna protect you."

"Yeah, well I don't need protecting from Matt. He's kinder and nicer to me than anyone. He should be protecting me from them, the way they all keep yelling at me and Darry hit me again."

"Sorry Bex. It's all a mess ain't it? It's a shame Matt isn't our age then it wouldn't be such a big deal."

"Yeah, I keep wishing that too. He can't help how old he is can he?!"

"So, do you think you'll be able to see him at school next week?"

"I'm sure gonna try. I reckon we can still meet at lunchtime without anyone finding out. He'll only have that one last week here and then he leaves." I suddenly felt a wave of sadness as I realised we really did only have these 2 weeks before I wouldn't see him again for a very long time, if at all.

Tara gave me a hug. "It's so unfair, I'm real sorry."

"Well, at least I have you. You're such a good friend to me, listening to all my moans and worries all the time."

"Well, that's what best friends are for and you do the same for me, so we're even." Tara smiled.

"Hey, I think Darry made some more chocolate cake, shall we go get some?"

"Yum, yes please. Darry makes the best chocolate cakes!"

We went to the kitchen and helped ourselves to big slices of chocolate cake and glasses of milk, then we sat at the table to eat. Pony and Soda came back in the house, covered in grease.

"Hey, leave some for us!" Pony protested.

"There's a whole cake there Pony, we ain't pigs."

"Well, that's up for debate." He joked and I got up and grabbed him round the waist pulling him to the floor, the element of surprise gave me the upper hand, despite Pony being so much bigger and stronger than me. I proceeded to tickle his sides, which made him pretty much defenceless. "Take it back! Holler Uncle."

"No way!" he said through his laughter and then managed to flip me over so he was now sitting on my stomach. "Revenge is sweet!" he grinned and then proceeded to tickle me back, pinning my arms with his knees. I was screeching and laughing.

"What the heck is going on here?!" Soda asked as he came into the kitchen from the bathroom, where he had been washing his hands. "Pony stop torturing Bex!" he laughed.

"Well, she started it." He retorted, but he laid off and gave me a hand to pull me up. I was breathless from all the laughter. "Remember, don't mess with me or there'll be more of the same!" Pony threatened with a grin, relishing his small victory.

"Yeah right, I gave as good as I got!" I said sitting back down to eat my cake.

"She can't help being a weak and feeble girl." Soda teased, knowing how much that would rile me.

"Soda!" I yelled. "Watch out or I'll take you on next." I warned trying to look threatening, but I couldn't help a smile coming to my lips. It felt good to be bantering with my brothers and being picked on by them. This was normal, this was how things were before things got complicated and the whole thing with Matt started.

Soda pretended to look scared. "Ok, I take it all back. Please don't hurt me!" Tara and I laughed at his silly antics.

After lunch Soda headed off for work at around 1.45. Two-Bit still hadn't shown up so I took the opportunity to call Matt. Tara had to go home and Pony was out on the porch smoking. I was relieved to hear Matt's familiar voice answer.

"Becky, it's so good to hear from you." He said

"Are you ok Matt? Two-Bit didn't hurt ya too bad did he?"

"Nah, just a bruise, it's almost gone already. How about you? Did Two-Bit tell Darry and Soda I was there?"

"Yeah. Darry was madder than I have ever seen him and he gave me a whooping again."

"Becky, you poor thing."

"Yeah, well we've made up now, but they won't let me see you, no matter how much I plead with them. I promised them I wouldn't see you, so I think we should avoid seeing each other for this week. I've tested their trust enough. But I was hoping we can see each other when we're back at school?"

"Yeah, let's meet in the parking lot on the first day back, 12.30?"

"Perfect. Not even Darry can find a way to keep me under observation in school at lunchtime, though I'm sure he'd like to."

"Man your brothers are so protective! I'm glad it was Two-Bit who caught us and not Darry or I'd probably have more than a bruised cheek to show for it!"

"Yeah, you probably would." I agreed. I couldn't bear to think of my brothers fighting Matt, but I knew if they caught up with him they wouldn't be able to stop themselves. I guess it was one reason to be glad Matt was going to be so far away soon, at least they couldn't go after him there! But if I was honest I wasn't really glad at all.

"Two-Bit's just pulled up outside, I'd better go. I'll try and call again tomorrow."

"Ok baby, I love you."

I couldn't reply as I had to quickly put the phone down as Two-Bit came through the door.

"Hey Bexster." He said, almost shyly. I could tell he wasn't sure what sort of reception he would get from me, after the way he treated me last time I saw him and after he ratted me out to Darry and Soda.

"Hey Two-Bit." I said cooly. I wanted him to know that I was upset with him and that he had tested our good relationship by what he did.

"Who was on the phone there?" he asked.

"None of your business." I retorted and walked off to my room. I just had time to see his face fall before I turned and left. I knew he felt bad that I was being cold with him and I felt a bit sorry for him. I know he was only trying to be a good friend to my brothers. But I also wanted to make my point. I was reading my book and listening to the radio when there was a knock at my door. I thought it must be Ponyboy, as Two-Bit never usually bothered to knock, so I was surprised when Two-Bit poked his head round the door.

"Can I come in Bex?" he asked nervously.

I shrugged "If you want."

"You're really mad at me ain't ya?"

"Pretty mad." I said coldly.

"I'm sorry I got you into trouble Bexster, I didn't want to, but I promised your brothers I would make sure Matt was not around you. I couldn't just ignore the fact that I found you together like that. I wouldn't have been able to live with the guilt if I'd kept my mouth shut."

"Oh, but you can live with making Darry mad at me and giving me another whooping?!" I snapped back.

"I'm sorry he did that Bex. Please don't be mad at me, I was only tryin' to do the right thing by you and your brothers. I'll make it up to ya."

"How?" I was interested to find out how he thought he would be able to make it up to me.

"I'll take you out for ice-cream once you're not grounded any more. I'll wash the dishes for ya when it's your turn. I'll help you with your homework.." Now he was really getting desperate! If anything it was me who would be helping him with his homework, not the other way around.

"Well, I'll take ya up on the dishes and the ice-cream." I smiled.

"And you forgive me?" he looked at me with pleading eyes.

"Ok Two-Bit, but are you gonna rat me out again?"

"Not if you stay away from that boy."

I had forgiven him, sort of, but I was annoyed about him taking the same stance as Darry and Soda about Matt. "I'm still mad that you hit him." I said.

"Yeah, well, He was asking for it."

"Two-Bit!"

"Ok, I'm sorry. I'll try not to hit him again."

"I guess that's the best I'm gonna get."

"Do you wanna come and play cards or something?" he offered. I wondered if he had been told to keep me out in the living room with him.

"Nah, I'm reading for now. Don't worry I ain't gonna climb out my window or anything." I said sarcastically.

"I hadn't thought of that until you said it." He looked worried.

"Two-Bit, I'm in enough trouble for now, I ain't gonna do anything like that. I promise I'll be good."

"Just make sure you are." He said in a mock stern voice.

"Don't start going all big brothery on me again, ok?"

"I'll try not to, but you bring it out in me Bexster." He grinned and I grinned back.

I was glad we had cleared the air a bit. I had a real soft-spot for Two-Bit and didn't usually fight with him, so it felt better to be friends again.

The rest of that week went by in much the same pattern. Tara and I spent a few hours together, Soda went to work at lunchtime, Two-bit spent the afternoons with us and Darry came back from work around 4.00. I managed to phone Matt every day except one, when Two-Bit had turned up early. I was looking forward to school starting the following Tuesday, so that I could see Matt again.

I went off to school on Tuesday with Darry warning me to steer clear of Matt or he would find out. I agreed to everything of course, but had no intention of sticking to it. I had been looking forward to my lunch date with Matt all week. I could barely concentrate on my classes that morning and was called out on it a few times by the teachers, narrowly escaping a detention. I practically ran to the parking lot at lunchtime and my heart flipped as I saw Matt standing by his car with a big smile on his face. I was so happy to see him.

"It feels like so long since I saw you." I said hugging him tight.

"Yeah, I missed you too. I can't believe we only have 4 more days to see each other, it's all so wrong."

"I wish your Dad would change his mind." I said sadly.

"Come on, let's enjoy the time we have ok? No more being sad and wishing for the impossible, let's just enjoy being together while we can."

I nodded and we kissed. We ate our lunch in the car and made out some more and talked about everything but Matt going away. It didn't work though, I still felt an ache of sadness inside. I couldn't fool myself so easily. As I got out of Matt's car I thought I saw a familiar old heap pulling out of the car park. I couldn't see why Two-Bit would be in the Junior High parking lot though, unless he was meeting his sister. Anyway, he probably didn't see anything, as he just drove off.

As I was walking back to class I bumped into Sally and her cronies, who were hanging around the gym entrance smoking. I tried to walk right past them, but Sally wasn't going to let that happen.

She smiled a sly smile. "Oh, look who it is, it's Matt Carter's girlfriend." She sneered sarcastically.

"Finally you understand." I replied.

"Pity your so called boyfriend is moving to another state ain't it? He must really be desperate to get away from you huh?" she laughed.

I felt anger boiling in the pit of my stomach. I didn't want to be reminded about Matt leaving and I didn't need the likes of Sally Branson to rub it in. I couldn't think of a clever come back and just snarled "Shutup, you're just jealous that you couldn't get a boy like him to even look at you!"

"Watch it greaser! Don't wanna get into another fight and get in trouble with big brother again do you?" Her gang of friends joined in the laughter.

"Don't tempt me." I said. "There's nothing I'd like more than to give you another bloody nose."

"Go ahead and try!" she challenged moving forward so she was right in my face.

I gave her a shove back and she fell into her friends then turned towards me fuming. She grabbed hold of my hair and tried to punch me in the stomach, but I managed to move to the side and punched her in the side forcing her to let go of my hair. She came right back at me and punched me in the eye, which hurt like heck I can tell you, I didn't have time to think about it though as I had to ward off another blow and I sent a fist flying into her mouth. She shrieked and started spitting blood. One of her friends must have thought it was all going to far as she tried to hold her back by the shoulders.

"Come on Sally, we gotta get to class. Stop now before you get caught. Get out of here Becky!" She yelled and I took advantage of the opportunity to turn and go into the building. I was thankful not to have been caught this time, but I needed to get to a bathroom to clean myself up a bit and to see what damage had been done. I looked at my face in the mirror. My hair was all over the place, my shirt was ripped at the collar, I had a scratch on my cheek and my eye was swollen. I was gonna have a black eye for sure. I sighed heavily wondering how I was gonna explain this to Darry later. At least he didn't get called into school this time. I was late for my next class now, so I quickly grabbed my books and ran off. The teacher saw my face straight away

"You're late Miss Curtis and what happened to your face, you haven't been fighting have you?"

"No Maam, I walked into my locker door by mistake."

She eyed me suspiciously and handed me a tardy slip. Yet another thing for Darry to yell at me for, I thought to myself. I sat down and Tara raised her eyebrows at me and mouthed "You ok?" I nodded and mouthed back "I'll tell you later."

After the class I explained to Tara what had happened with Sally.

"She is such a nasty piece of work." Said Tara. "Just try and ignore her, she's not worth your getting into trouble over."

"I know, Darry is gonna want to know how I got this." I pointed to my eye.

"Man, that must have hurt!"

"Yeah, it did and it's gonna be a real shiner. I also got a tardy slip. I tell you I can't stay out of trouble with Darry for more than 10 minutes these days." I sighed despondently.

"You got to see Matt though?" Tara asked.

I smiled "Yeah, the one good thing that came out of today."

Steve picked Pony and me up at the end of the day. Two-Bit had gone home early for a dentist appointment with his sister. I wondered if he had been picking her up when I saw his car in the parking lot at lunchtime. Pony and Steve stared at my face,

"What you been up to now Bex?" Steve asked "Can't you stay outta trouble for more than 5 minutes?!"

"Shutup Steve, it wasn't my fault, I walked into my locker door, that's all."

"Yeah, right." He grinned. "Didn't know your locker door was fist shaped."

Pony laughed "I don't think Darry is gonna buy that story Bex." He said.

I huffed and folded my arms. "Well, maybe it's the truth."

"The locker tore your shirt and scratched you as well I guess." Steve laughed out loud. "You are such a bad liar."

"Lay off Steve." Pony said, seeing my distress. He knew I would be dreading facing Darry and I didn't need to be reminded how badly my cover up story sucked. I just couldn't think of a better one.

When we got home I dutifully did my homework and then set about making some chicken casserole for supper. I shoved it in the oven and it had 15 minutes left to go when I heard Soda heading in the screen door. I knew it was him from the familiar thunk of his shoes being thrown off as soon as he walked in.

"Hi Soda!" I called. For one moment I had forgotten about my face and the obvious signs of my fight.

"What the heck happened to you?!" Soda asked with concern. I automatically put my hand up to my eye.

"I'm ok. I walked into my locker door, that's all." I knew it was a lame explanation, but I had to try.

Soda came over and held my chin in his hand to take a closer look. "I don't think any locker door has as good a right hook as that Becky." He looked me in the eye and I looked away. "So, what really happened?"

I sighed and looked at the floor. "Come on Bex, I won't get mad at ya, I promise." Soda said softly.

"It was that Soc girl Sally. She picked another fight with me and we got into it. But don't worry, I didn't get caught this time and I'm not in trouble at school."

"Darry ain't gonna be too happy though."

"I know." I said dejectedly. Almost on cue Darry arrived home.

"Hey y'all!" he called.

I shot a sideways look at Soda and he gave me a sympathetic smile. "Hey Darry, had a good day?" he asked.

"Not bad. Made good progress on that City Road job."

"Darry, can I just have a word." Soda headed Darry off before he came into the kitchen and saw my swollen face.

Darry looked puzzled. "Sure Soda, something wrong?"

"Well, that Soc girl who Bex had that fight with the other week, she took it upon herself to jump Bex again today."

"What?!" Darry bellowed. "Is she ok?" I was relieved his initial thought was for my well-being and not for whether or not I started it or if I was in trouble with school.

"Yeah, she has one heck of a shiner, but she's ok. Just don't yell at her ok Darry, it wasn't her fault."

Darry rolled his eyes. "Somehow I reckon she played a more active role in this than you are making out. Don't tell me she got suspended again, why didn't they call me?…" Darry's voice got louder as he went on.

"Calm down Darry. She ain't in trouble at school ok? Nobody caught them, so it's no big deal ok?"

"Alright, am I allowed to see her now that you've buttered me up?" Darry growled.

"I sp'ose so, Just take it easy on her ok?"

"You make it sound like I'm some kinda monster."

"No, I just think there's been enough yelling around here recently and one less argument would be good."

Darry walked into the kitchen, where I had my back to him, fiddling with the dial on the oven. "Ok Becky, let's have a look then."

I turned around and Darry sighed, "So, she got ya pretty good huh?"

I shrugged, "Did you put some ice on it?"

"No, not yet."

"Well, it may be a bit late now, but let's ice it anyway. It may still take the swelling down a bit. Soda has done a good job of softening the blow, but I'm still mad that you got into another fight after I warned you not to. You're lucky you didn't get caught again. A second suspension on your record would not wash well with Social Services."

I was thankful to Soda for putting my case, as this could have gone a whole lot worse otherwise! "Sorry Darry, but I have to defend myself don't I? I can't just stand there and let her hit me without retaliating."

"Well you can and you probably should, at school at least. Just walk away next time and maybe tell a teacher."

I rolled my eyes. "That would go down really well." I said sarcastically.

"Watch the tone little girl. I am trying to be reasonable here, but I could start to get angry if you keep the attitude up."

I looked down while Darry put the ice pack on my eye. "Hold it there for as long as you can." He said gruffly and I took it over from him. "Anything like this happens again Rebecca and I will not be so lenient. I will not have you fighting at school."

"I understand Darry, I will try my best."

"See that you do." He said sternly.

Suddenly I remembered the tardy slip and thought it was best to bring it up right away. "Erm, Darry. Can you also sign this." I handed it to him.

He sighed and gritted his teeth. I could tell he was trying his hardest, probably for Soda's sake, not to get mad. "Why were you late for class?" he growled.

"I'm really sorry Darry, I was late back to class cos I had to clean myself up from the fight." I explained and studied my shoes, not wanting to make eye contact.

Darry sighed again and quickly scribbled a signature on the slip before handing it back to me roughly "Don't let it happen again. These things matter to Social Services and so they need to matter to you."

"I know Darry. Erm, dinner will be ready in about 5 minutes." I said, trying to change the subject.

"Thanks Becky. I'll go take a quick shower if Soda has finished in there."

Darry went off into the bathroom and Soda came back in with wet hair and no shirt.

"Thanks Soda, I owe you one!"

"I'll hold you to that." He grinned. "Dinner smells good, what is it?"

"Chicken casserole and I made some corn bread to go with it."

"You're getting pretty good at cooking Bex." He complimented me. "Almost as good as Mom."

That wasn't true, but it was sweet of him to say so and I smiled at him as he gave my shoulders a squeeze. Right on cue as dinner was ready Two-Bit walked in the door and I set an extra place at the table.

"Hey y'all, how's it hanging?" he said in his usual loud voice.

"Good thanks Two-Bit." Said Soda.

"You joining us for dinner?" Darry asked, knowing what the answer would be.

"Why, don't mind if I do, thank ya kindly. Hey Bex!" he said sitting down opposite me. He gave me a bit of a strange look, as if he wanted to say something, but changed his mind.

"So, were you really at the dentist this afternoon or did you just want an excuse to cut class?" Pony asked.

"I am truly offended that you should insinuate such a thing." Two-Bit grinned "Nah, actually me and my sister did have the dentist for real. I went to pick her up from school at lunchtime and actually I saw a certain young Curtis in the parking lot." He said raising his eyebrows.

My heart stopped, my face flushed and I stared across the table at him. I wondered what he had seen and if he was about to get me into yet more trouble. Everyone looked over at me to see what I had to say on the matter.

"What were you doing in the parking lot Becky?" Darry asked looking puzzled.

"When I saw her, she was getting out of a nice black Stingray." I guessed that Two-Bit hadn't realised I was with Matt and didn't realise just by mentioning the black Stingray he was getting me into a whole heap of trouble. He had never seen Matt's car, as far as I knew, but my brothers most certainly had and I knew they would soon put two and two together.

Soda glared at me "Ain't that the same car as Matt has?" he asked.

I swallowed and looked down at my plate. "So it is." Said Darry, the penny dropping. "You met with Matt for lunch?" he demanded in a chilling tone. I couldn't answer my mouth felt so dry so I just nodded.

"Go to your room right now!" Darry yelled. I quickly got up from the table and ran to my room just in time for my tears to start falling. Damn it! Why did every little thing I did always get found out?! I was planning to meet Matt for lunch all this week, but I had a feeling there was no way that was gonna happen now. Darry was mad at me again and probably Soda too and no doubt I was gonna get punished again or at the very least yelled at. I hated to always be in trouble like this and to be causing so many arguments at home. I wished I could rewind and do things differently so that my brothers could trust me again. I sobbed into my pillow, dreading the inevitable knock on the door from Darry. Of course, it came. Darry came in without waiting for my answer. He sat on the chair opposite me.

"Care to tell me why you are meeting Matt at lunchtime when you promised me you wouldn't see him again?" he said through gritted teeth.

"Darry, I didn't exactly promise….."

"You damn well did and in any case, promise or not, you were told in no uncertain terms not to see him again." He yelled.

"I know Darry. There are only 4 days till he leaves, we just had to see each other…." I said desperately, knowing it was not a good enough explanation for Darry.

"No, you didn't and you shouldn't have. Well, little girl, that's the last of your lunchtime meetings cos I've asked Pony, Steve and Two-Bit to meet you for lunch every day this week seeing as you can't be trusted to stay away from Matt. You are to meet up with them and stay with them the whole lunchbreak, you got it?"

I nodded through my tears. How was I going to see Matt now before he left?

"Now I should give you another spanking for lying to us again and disobeying me. But, I'm not. If you dare to try and see Matt again then I will not hesitate to put you over my knee again. Do you understand me Rebecca? I am serious about this."

I nodded. "Stop nodding and give me a proper answer!" Darry yelled.

"Yes sir." I said sullenly. I was relieved Darry had held back on spanking me this time, but was filled with despair at the whole situation with being chaperoned at lunchtime. I was going to have to think of a way round this and quickly as time was running out.


	22. Chapter 22 -Being Chaperoned & a way to

**_Apologies that this is a bit of a filler chapter, a bit short and with not much plot – hope it is still entertaining!_**

Chapter 22

**Being chaperoned and a way to meet**

The next morning it was so hard to get out of bed. I had slept really badly and I was dreading the day ahead at school, having to be babysat at lunchtime and not seeing Matt. I dragged my feet out to the kitchen for breakfast, though I didn't feel like eating. I had never felt so low before, at least not since Mom and Dad had died. I couldn't see any silver lining to this cloud, no light at the end of the tunnel. It all seemed black and I felt almost physically sick from the knot of sadness inside me. I slumped down in a chair and Pony glanced over at me. He was chewing on a piece of bacon.

"Morning Bex." I only grunted in response. Darry came back in from getting dressed and tried to force me to eat something.

"Have some eggs and bacon Becky." He made everything sound like a command, so I put a bit of food on my plate and pushed it around with my fork. Darry glared at me meaningfully and I shoved a forkful of egg into my mouth, chewing about 100 times before swallowing.

"Steve is gonna pick you up from school today Becky and take you to the DX to do your homework as Pony has track practice and I don't want you here on your own." Darry said and I shrugged, in no mood to try and argue. It was usually pointless to argue with Darry anyway, he never changed his mind.

"Cheer up Bex." Soda said kissing me on top of my head as he passed by to get himself a glass of milk. I glared at him. There was nothing worse than being told to cheer up when you were feeling miserable. It's not like I wanted to feel like that, it was just because of his and Darry's stupid rules that I was feeling this way anyway, so that made his passing comment even more irritating.

"Why?" I asked him sullenly.

"Cos I don't like seeing you so sad."

"Sorry if I'm making you feel bad, but I can't help it. I do feel sad." I said pointedly.

He just looked at me and sighed. He knew I was trying to make him feel bad and it was probably working. Soda was always a softie and hated to upset people, but I knew he was backing Darry up on this one and he wasn't going to relent and suggest I be allowed to see Matt after all.

"So, Becky." Pony said, changing the subject "where shall we all meet you at lunchtime?"

"I dunno. You mean I have a say in this? Are you sure I'm allowed to give my opinion? I might make the wrong decision, put myself in danger or something." My sarcasm really came out when I was tired or upset and Darry was not a great fan of it.

"You ain't helping yourself with that attitude Becky. Everything that has happened to you is your own fault and your sarcasm doesn't cut it. It ain't Pony's fault either, so lay off him."

I gritted my teeth and glared down at my plate. Pony carried on as if nothing had been said "Let's meet at the bleachers then, ok?"

I nodded "Ok Pone, 12.30." He nodded. Darry was right, it wasn't his fault and I didn't need to take my frustration out on him. Of everyone, he had been the most understanding about Matt and me and I did appreciate his support when everyone else seemed to be against me.

I went into my room to grab some school books and saw Matt's record sitting on my desk. It reminded me I needed to let him know I wouldn't be meeting him at lunch. I quickly scribbled a note for him explaining that I couldn't meet him and said I would try and call him if I could later that day. I was hoping I could use the phone at the DX, as there was a phone in the back office where I would be doing my homework. I yelled a goodbye to Darry and Soda and went to wait outside for Two-Bit. As I had hoped Ponyboy was out there having his first cigarette of the day.

"Hey Pone, can you give this to Matt for me?" I said holding out the piece of paper for him to take. He looked at it nervously, unsure whether to agree in case it would get him into trouble.

I tried not to get irritated and explained to him. "Look, I was meant to meet him today and I just wanna tell him not to turn up as I won't be there, please?"

Pony took the paper from me and put it in his pocket. "Ok, but I better not get into trouble over this."

"You won't Pony, who's gonna know?"

Pony shrugged. "I dunno Bex, but somehow whenever I cover for you I seem to end up getting into trouble."

"Not this time, ok? You just have to give him the note, that's all."

Two-Bit pulled up then and looked at me warily in the mirror as I got in the back with Tara.

"Hey Bex, look I didn't mean to drop you in it yesterday. I didn't know that was Matt's Stingray you were getting out of."

"I know. You probably woulda told anyway though wouldn't ya?"

"Well, I dunno." He said uncomfortably. "I told ya Bex, I don't like ya hanging around with this Matt guy."

"See, you woulda ratted me out anyway, so it makes no difference whether you meant it or not does it?" I snapped.

Two-Bit looked a bit hurt and Pony tried to reassure him. "Don't worry about it Two-Bit, she's just in a really bad mood this morning. Probably on the rag or something."

Two-Bit laughed. It was unusual for Pony to even mention anything like that and I could see his ears had gone red. I glared at the back of Pony's head.

"What's going on?" asked Tara, who had no idea what had happened the night before and how Two-Bit had let the cat out of the bag about Matt and I meeting for lunch. I explained the situation to her and about the guys being my constant minders for the next few days. Tara looked sympathetic and squeezed my hand.

I was distracted again that morning in class and had to really pull myself together when Miss Bennett, the humanities teacher threatened to keep me back after school if I didn't stop daydreaming. I was relieved when lunchtime finally arrived and I could get out of school. Caro and her friends walked to the bleachers with Tara and I. Caro was moaning about the principal giving her detention for answering him back the day before.

"He's such an ass. He loves handing out punishments I'd love to find a way to get my own back on him."

"Well apparently, he's real proud of his new car, it's his pride and joy." Said Tara. "I heard him raving about it to Mr Watson when I was in the school office the other day. Honestly you woulda thought it was a Mustang or something, it's a Rambler, I don't even think it's brand new."

Caro grinned "Well, that's a useful piece of information. Hmmm, I'll have a think about that one."

I shook my head, she really was trouble, but it did make life interesting being round her. It didn't pay to be too close though, as you were bound to be caught up in her mischief and get into trouble too. We reached the bleachers and Ponyboy was hovering near the edge keeping an eye out for me, he raised his hand in a wave when he saw me. I waved back and noticed a frown cross his face as he saw I was with Caro.

"Hey Pony. It's ok, you don't have to sit with us, you can see me from over there if you wanna sit with your friends instead." I could see Two-Bit and Steve at the other end of the bleachers chatting with a bunch of other greasers. "I don't wanna cramp your style or anything." I teased.

"Funny ha ha." He said drolly. "I guess I'll go eat with the guys, but I'll be back to check on you later." He wondered off to join the others.

"What was all that about?" asked Susie.

"Darry's got me under full-time surveillance cos he found out about Matt and me and he doesn't want me seeing him." I explained. "So, I have to come here to meet him and Steve and Two-bit every lunchtime till the end of the week. Matt's off to California then anyway." I sighed heavily.

"Man that sucks." Said Melanie.

"Sure does. I can't even spend any time with him these last few days cos I don't have a minute to myself."

"Your brothers don't approve then?" asked Caro. I shook my head. "Can't say I'm that surprised after what you told me about Darry being so strict."

"You have to see him before he leaves though Bex." Tara said looking concerned. "I mean he just can't go off to California without you seeing him at least one more time."

"I can't see how I can though."

"Can't you pull a sickie?" Caro asked casually, tossing her cigarette butt away.

"How does that help?" I wasn't sure how that would do any good.

"Well, you and Matt could both take a sick day and spend it together." She suggested.

"You could have something there." I said smiling. "Of course, I probably wouldn't be allowed to stay on my own for the day, knowing Darry and how much he trusts me right now."

"You may get an hour or two though." Tara pointed out.

"Yeah, if I make it Friday then Darry may have cooled off slightly and may not feel like he needs to post a guard outside my door at all times." The others laughed. "I'm not kidding, it's practically like that!"

Pony, Two-Bit and Steve ambled over then. "Hey Bexster, keeping out of trouble?" Two-Bit drawled.

I rolled my eyes. "So far so good."

"Hey girls, you missed me?" he asked sitting himself down next to Susie and Melanie.

"Not exactly." Susie answered, though Melanie was actually blushing. I thought she may quite like Two-Bit and I laughed. He sure knew how to charm the girls when he wanted to.

"Like a hole in the head I'm sure Two-Bit." I sassed.

"That's not kind Bexster, don't make me cry in front of your friends here."

Pony shook his head, He always found Two-Bit's flirting tactics totally embarrassing. I smiled at him.

"Hey Pony, did you hand that note in for me?" I didn't want to mention that the note was for Matt, as Steve was there listening in and he always reported everything back to Soda.

Pony looked awkward and kicked the edge of the bleacher with the toe of his sneaker. "Yeah, I did."

"Thanks." I was glad that at least Matt had known not to turn up and wait for me today.

"What ya doing hanging round with this lot again?" asked Pony abruptly, waving a hand towards the group of girls who were being entertained by Two-Bit.

"Well, you were the one who suggested meeting here. You know Caro and the others always hang out here at lunch time."

He shrugged "Doesn't mean you have to hang out with them just cos they're here."

I sighed, what did he have against Caro? She was no worse than half the guys that Pony and the guys hung out with, in fact she was no trouble at all compared to Dallas Winston. "They're my friends Pony. I don't tell you who to be friends with."

"Yeah well, like I said before, just be careful. Darry'll kill ya if ya get into some of the stuff she does."

"I ain't stupid Pony." I huffed.

"Geez, no need to jump down my throat, I'm just trying to give you a bit of brotherly advice."

"If I want advice I'll ask for it, don't worry." I snapped. I didn't meant to be so grouchy with Pony, I know he only meant well, but I hated the way he tried to tell me what to do as if he were Soda or Darry. He was only a couple of years older than me. It wasn't his job. Pony just shrugged and took a drag on his cigarette. He pretended not to care, but I knew I had upset him and I felt bad about it. He was a good brother to me.

"Sorry Pone. I'm just stressed out at the moment." He smiled at me and rubbed my shoulder.

"I understand Bex. It stinks that you don't get to say goodbye to Matt."

I nodded and thought about telling him about the plan to try and take a sick day so that I did get to see him after all. On second thoughts I didn't tell him anything though. I didn't want him to have to lie for me again and get into more trouble. If I didn't tell him he could claim ignorance as his defense.

"Guys, we'd better head back." I said as I realised the time. "See ya later." I said to Pony, Steve and Two-bit.

"I'll pick you up in the parking lot Becky." Said Steve. "Don't be late, I ain't hanging around for ya and you'll have to explain to Darry why you weren't there on time."

"Sure Steve, I'll be there." I sighed, geez did he have to be so bossy about it!

"Those guys are gonna regret penning you in when you really rebel one of these days Becky!" Caro laughed.

I shrugged and thought that I had already reached the limits of my rebellion for the moment. To me sneaking out to the dance and then sneaking around with Matt behind my brothers' backs was really the worst thing I could imagine myself ever doing. I just hated being in trouble too much to want to rebel in other ways.

Steve picked me up after school as arranged. "So, you been good today Rebecca?" he asked, trying to wind me up.

I gritted my teeth and tried not to show that he had annoyed me. "Good as gold Steve, how about you?"

He grinned "Well, you know I'm always good."

"That's a matter of opinion."

"Don't get smart Little Curtis, you don't want me mad at you as well as your brothers."

"I'll risk that." I sassed back. Steve just laughed.

When we got to the DX Steve went to clock in and I went to find Soda. He was in the shop just taking money from a customer. "Hey Bex!" he greeted me once the customer had left. "Had a good day?"

"As good as they get these days." I said, still feeling low and basically fed up. Soda came out from behind the counter and put his arm around my shoulder. "Sorry Bex, things will get better, I promise."

I shrugged in reply. Soda handed me a Pepsi and a candy bar "Here, don't say I don't spoil you!" he grinned and I smiled back. "You better take those and go start on your homework in the back office or Darry will have my hide."

I trudged off to the office and sat at the desk, getting out my math homework. I finished it quickly and then decided now was the time to try and call Matt, before Soda came back to check on me. I quickly dialed his number and was glad to hear his voice on the other end.

"Hey Matt, it's me. I can't talk long cos Soda will be in to check on me in a few minutes, How are you?"

"I'm ok, you said in your note Darry found out we met at lunchtime yesterday? Who spotted us?"

"It was Two-Bit. He was there picking his sister up and saw me getting out of your car. He didn't actually know it was you I was with, but when he mentioned the black Stingray to Darry and Soda they knew straight away. Now Darry has got them all chaperoning me every second of the day. At least I can still call you here though."

"Yeah, we're no good at this sneaking around business are we? We always get caught out. How am I gonna see you before I go?"

"Well, a friend suggested that we both fake a sick day and meet up. Maybe on Friday? I think it could work, but I expect Darry will not want to leave me unattended the whole day, so we'd have to pick our time."

"I'll happily skip school if it means I get to see you. My parents will be out all day sorting out sending the furniture and stuff. I can hang out at my house and when you know you are alone you can call me and I'll come right over. I can be there in 15 minutes."

"Ok, let's do it then. As soon as I know what's happening I'll call. I really hope we can manage it. It seems like everything always conspires against us being together."

"Sure does, we'll manage. Hey, if it doesn't work I'll come and knock on your window in the middle of the night!"

I laughed "Well let's hope it doesn't come to that. If you got caught in my room in the middle of the night I don't think you'd live to tell the tale!"

"Talking of getting caught, hadn't you better go?"

"Yeah, I'll try and call this time tomorrow, will you be there?"

"Course I will. Speak to you then. Love you baby."

"Love you too Matt." I put the phone down and had just sat back at the desk when Soda popped his head round the door.

"Ok in here Bex?"

"Yeah fine Soda, having a ball!" I raised my eyebrows at him.

"Ah, homework, I remember it well." He smiled.

"Not that you ever did much of it huh?"

"Enough of your cheek Missy. I'm sure the teachers were very sad when I quit."

"Only cos they liked seeing your handsome face." I laughed, knowing that several of the female teachers had had a soft spot for Soda, even though he was a terrible student.

"Ah well, what can I say? I got the looks, the rest of you got the brains."

"Hey!" I threw my pencil at him and he ducked, still laughing.

"Watch it, don't wanna damage the face! Here, you need this." He threw my pencil back at me. "I'll be in done in another hour then we can head home. Hopefully Pony's made some dinner."

"Pasta and tomato sauce again then." It was the only thing Pony ever made.

Soda chuckled and went out, closing the door. I got down to my homework and had finished it all before Soda came back to get me an hour later. We headed home and found the house empty when we got back.

"Pony!" Soda yelled. There was no reply and no tell-tale school bag thrown on the floor. It looked like he hadn't come home yet. "Did he have track practice tonight?" Soda asked me.

I shrugged "Yeah I think so, but he's usually back by 4.30 when he does have it, it's quarter past 5 now, he should be back anyway. Do you think he's somewhere hurt?" I asked, thinking back to the time he was attacked on his way back from the movies.

Soda looked worried, "I dunno Bex. I hope not. I'd better go out and look for him."

"Hang on Soda, let me just call Two-Bit, he was meant to pick him up after school, maybe he knows something."

"Good thinking Bex."

I dialed Two-Bit's number and his sister Karen answered. She was 10 and often home alone after school, as her Mom didn't mind. "Hi Karen, is Two-Bit there? It's Becky Curtis here."

"Hey Becky. Two-Bit isn't back yet. I think he went somewhere after school with Ponyboy."

"Oh, ok. We're trying to find Pony, he's not back yet either."

I shook my head at Soda and he went off out the door to search for Pony. "Ok, well get him to call when he gets back will ya?"

"Ok, bye Becky."

"Thanks Karen, bye." I wondered what on earth Pony was up to now. He and Darry hadn't got into it so much recently, but I knew there would be trouble if he'd done one of his usual dumb stunts where he just forgot to tell us where he was going or where he just forgot that we live in a city where greasers get pounded on if they walk alone. At least it seemed like wherever he was Two-Bit was with him too. I hoped they were both ok. Darry came through the door 5 minutes later. "Hey Becky. Where's Soda? His car's not outside."

"Hey Darry, well he just went off to look for Pony about 10 minutes ago. He wasn't here when we got back from the DX."

"Oh man, what is that kid up to now? I swear he's gonna put me in an early grave the amount of stupid stunts he pulls!"

Just then Two-Bit's car pulled up outside and Pony bundled out. He looked fine, not a scratch on him and Two-Bit looked in good shape too. Where on earth had they been? Pony knew he had to be back before Darry or he would be in trouble.

"Hey Darry." He said sheepishly as he came through the screen door and started chewing on his finger nail.

Darry had his arms folded across his body and looked mighty peed off. "Where have you been Pony?"

"Sorry I'm late. I had track and then I had to go to the library to get some books."

The way he was saying it I knew there was more to it.

"You mean Two-Bit came to the library with you?"

"Not exactly…"

"What is going on Pony?!" Darry demanded, losing his patience. "I know there's more to this story, now spill."

"I found him just a couple of blocks from the library, surrounded by 3 socs. They hadn't started in on him yet, so I arrived in the nick of time and saved his butt." Two-Bit said with a grin.

"Pony, what the heck were you doing walking on your own again? How many times do you have to get jumped before you start using your head? Is it gonna take you getting seriously hurt to understand? It ain't safe for you to be walking round that part of town on your own, you know that."

"I'm fine Darry, nothing happened did it?"

"Only cos Two-Bit came along. We were worried. Soda's out looking for you."

"Sorry Darry."

"Yeah, so you say and then you go do it again the next minute you get the chance. I don't wanna have a call from the hospital to say you're hurt or worse."

I felt sorry for Pony being on the receiving end of Darry's yelling, but it was a nice change for it not to be me.

"Ok Darry, you made your point. I'll get Two-Bit to come with me next time."

"Make sure you do. And you were meant to be making dinner tonight. Next time ask if you wanna go to the library."

"Sorry. I'll get onto dinner now." Darry nodded and shoved Pony in the direction of the kitchen.

"Thanks Two-Bit." Darry said sincerely.

"Hey, it's my job. Superhero extraordinaire!"

I laughed. "Yeah is it a bird? Is it a plane? No it's Superdork!" I teased.

Two-Bit pounced on me and had me in a headlock with my arm behind my back quicker than I could blink.

"Argghh! Darry help me!" I yelled.

"Sorry Bex, you asked for that one!" he said laughing.

"Take it back Bex, Say you are 'Superhandsome, not Superdork and I'll let you go."

"No way!" I struggled uselessly "Two-Bit get off." He wasn't actually hurting me, but he had me in such a good grip there was no way I could get free.

"Only if you say it!" he grinned.

"Ok, you are Superhandsome, not Superdork!" I squealed out and he let me up. I rubbed my arms and neck. He slapped me on the butt for good measure. "Don't mess with me Miss Curtis."

"Hey! You're so mean picking on a defenceless girl like that." I whined.

"I would hardly call you defenceless." Said Darry with an amused look on his face.

"I can't believe you sat there and watched while your little sister got beat up!" I complained.

"I knew you could take it Bex, anyway you deserved it!"

"Huh!" I huffed, but I wasn't really mad. I liked being treated like one of the gang and not feeling excluded because I was a girl, as happened so often, even if it meant getting wrestled!

"I'd better head on home. Be good Bexster! See y'all tomorrow."

Predictably Darry's next words were, "Becky, you done your homework?"

"Yeah, I did it all at the DX. Can I watch TV or do I have to say in my room?"

"Nah, I'd rather you were out here where I can see you."

Well, it was turning out to be a mixed blessing being constantly chaperoned. At least I could hang out in the living room and watch some TV rather than getting bored off my face in my room the whole time! I switched the TV on and turned the channel to Bewitched. Soda came rushing in through the door, still looking anxious.

"It's ok, he's back and he's fine." I reassured him.

He sighed in relief and his face relaxed. "Where is he so I can kick his butt?" he joked.

"In the kitchen, making dinner."

I heard Soda talking with Pony and Pony apologising again. Soda was encouraging him not to walk alone. The same message as Darry had given, but in a much gentler way, which I knew Pony was more likely to listen to. Darry just seemed to think the only way to get us to listen was to order and yell, when quite often that made us switch off and Soda's far softer, gentler approach went in much more effectively. I turned my attention back to Bewitched. I was feeling a bit more positive having arranged to meet Matt on Friday and I was relieved that Pony was back safely. I couldn't bear anything else to happen to him after all that he'd already been through all those months ago.

"Dinner!" Pony yelled.

I went and joined my brothers at the table. "Well whadda ya know? Pasta and tomato sauce?" Soda exclaimed and he and I both burst out laughing. Darry and Pony looked at both Soda and I as if we had lost our minds!

"You had to be there." I said through my laughter.

**_Again thanks for all who have reviewed! Please read and review again, you are my inspiration!_**


	23. Chapter 23 - Sick Day

_**Thanks so much to all those who have reviewed - you keep me going! Please read and review again!**_

Chapter 23

**Sick day**

Wednesday and Thursday went by in pretty much the same way as Tuesday had. I went to school, met Pony and the others on the bleachers at lunch, got a lift to the DX with Steve and did my homework, as well as making a call to Matt. I managed not to get caught and Soda was none the wiser. For once I had managed to get away with something!

On Thursday Matt and I firmed up our plan to meet the following day once the coast was clear at home. I did consider going to his place instead of meeting at mine, but if Darry or someone came back and I wasn't there then that would be even more suspicious when I was meant to be on my sick bed. At least if Matt came to mine, if someone came back home he could make a speedy exit through my window before anyone caught him there. That was the plan at any rate. We were hoping to time things so well that it wouldn't even come to that.

When Soda and I got home that evening Pony was sitting on the porch smoking and reading his book. "Hey Pone, how's it going?" asked Soda. "Done all your homework already?"

"Nah, just having a break."

"Well make sure the break's over before Darry gets back, he won't be too happy to find you out here reading when you ain't finished."

"Geez Soda, you're getting as bad as Darry in your old age." Pony moaned.

"Hey, not so much of the old and I ain't nagging you, just warning you not to get caught buddy."

"Soda, is it ok if I go in my room and lie down for a bit?" I asked. "I've got a headache."

"Sure Becky, I'll explain to Darry when he gets back – no climbing out your window ok?" Soda joked.

"Promise I won't. My head hurts too much for climbing anywhere." I gave a faint smile.

"Do you want some aspirin or something?"

"Maybe later. I'll try and just rest and see if it goes on its own first."

"Ok, feel better Baby!"

I went off to my room. My head was fine of course, but I had to lay the foundation for tomorrow's sick day. I wanted them to believe me in the morning that I was too sick for school. I actually _was_ feeling pretty bad, maybe not physically, but emotionally. I was looking forward to seeing Matt the next day, but knowing it was the last time I would see him in a very long time left me with mixed emotions. I hated that I would have to say goodbye to him tomorrow. I felt an ache of sadness and despair deep inside. It wouldn't take too much acting to convince Darry that I was really ill because I did truthfully feel pretty awful.

I heard Darry arrive home, yelling at Pony who was still out on the porch reading to get on with his homework. Then I could hear him talking to Soda before he came and knocked on my door. I was sure the reason he was so quick to check on me was he was worried I had made my escape or I had Matt ensconced in my room, but perhaps that was unfair of me. Perhaps he just wanted to make sure I was ok since Soda would've told him I was sick. He pushed the door open and came in. I lay on the bed with my eyes closed and pretended to stir as he came and stood by my bed, putting his hand on my forehead.

"Hey Becky, Soda said you ain't feeling too good. How's your head?" he asked gently.

"It still aches, but it's better when I'm lying down. My stomach feels queasy too."

"Oh dear, sounds like you may have a stomach flu or something. Do you think you can eat some dinner?"

"I'm not sure Darry, I think I may just go to bed early. Maybe I'll feel better in the morning."

"Well, if you still feel bad you'll have to miss school tomorrow." Darry said and I coulda hugged him for making this all so easy, as if he had read my script!

"I guess."

"Hmmm, if you do we'll have to work something out so you're not alone all day."

"If I feel like this Darry, all I'm gonna do is sleep, so it won't matter if anyone is here with me or not."

"Well, I'll think of something. Get yourself ready for bed and try and get a good night's sleep." He stroked my hair back from my face.

"Ok Darry."

"Do you want me to get you some water or a soda or something? You oughta drink, even if you're not up to eating."

"Ok Darry, thanks. A Pepsi would be good."

"I'll be right back." When he left I slipped on my pyjamas and went to the bathroom, coming back to find him waiting outside my door holding a bottle of Pepsi with a straw in it.

"Here Baby, drink it slowly and then try and get some sleep. If you need anything or feel worse just holler."

I nodded and he gave me a kiss on the head before I turned and went into my room. Darry was always so sweet when I was sick and showed his softer side. I wished I could enjoy it and not have the underlying feeling of guilt for deceiving him. But, it would all be worth it if I got to see Matt as planned tomorrow. I drank my Pepsi and munched on a bag of chips which I had stashed away at the DX earlier, knowing I would skip dinner. I read for a while and turned the light out around 9.00, by which time I was feeling pretty tired anyway.

I slept soundly and woke at 6.30 getting up to use the bathroom then went back to my bed and tried to look sick. I knew Darry would be in to get me up in a little while and I had to convince him that I was still not well enough to go to school today. He knocked gently on my door about 10 minutes later.

"Morning Bex, how are you feeling today?"

I let out a small groan "Not great Darry. My head is pounding and my stomach feels weird."

"I guess you'd better stay home from school today then. I'll go get you some aspirin for your head."

I nodded pathetically and closed my eyes. This was all going so well. Darry was back in a few minutes with some aspirin and some water for me.

"Here, sit up Baby." I sat up slowly and swallowed the pills, I figured they wouldn't hurt me, even though I didn't really need them.

"Thanks Darry." I said in a low voice.

"I hate to leave you by yourself when you're not well, but Soda can't change his shift and I really have to go into work."

"Don't worry Darry, I'll probably sleep most of the day. Honestly I don't need anyone babysitting."

"Well, I'll get Two-Bit or Steve to drive over at lunchtime and check on you with Pony, but they'll have to go back to school in the afternoon. If you feel really bad and need anything urgently you can always call Soda and he'll come straight home. You won't be able to reach me on the construction site."

"Sure Darry, but I think I'll be ok. Pony will be back by 3.30 anyhow and I promise to call if I need to." I closed my eyes as if all this talking was just too much effort for me!

"Ok Becky, try and snooze then." He stroked my hair and closed the door behind him as he left. I could hear all the usual morning noises outside and Darry yelling at Pony and Soda to hurry up, then soon enough all was quiet. I waited another 10 minutes, just in case someone had forgotten something and then I went out to use the phone.

"Hey Matt, it's me."

"Hey Bex, you pulled it off then? You're alone?"

"Yeah, I'm all alone till about 12.30 then the guys will be over to check on me, but they'll only be able to stay about 30 minutes and then they'll have to head back to school, so we've got practically the whole day if we manage it right!"

"That's great. I'll head over now shall I?"

"Yeah, see you soon!"

"Bye Baby."

I quickly grabbed myself a slice of toast and was just brushing my teeth when there was a knock at the screen door. I rinsed my mouth quickly, then went to let Matt in. We kissed hello,

"Hey baby, love the pyjamas!" he grinned.

"Well, I have to be ready for if anyone turns up, if I get dressed they'll know I haven't been in bed all day!"

"You look cute."

I blushed and looked down at my faded blue gingham pyjamas, suddenly aware that they were not particularly smart or flattering! "Yeah, right!"

"Actually Becky, you look good in anything, but they do really make me just wanna hug you." He winked.

I laughed "Well, feel free. Come on, I think we oughta hang out in my room and have the window open, just in case someone comes back unexpectedly. That way you can hop straight out the window."

"This is crazy isn't it? Having to sneak around like this?"

"That's my brothers for you; crazy! Can you stay all day or do you need to go help your parents with the packing up?"

"Nah, it's pretty much all done. We're sleeping on camp beds and sleeping bags tonight. Most of the furniture is going today and we are just left with the essentials to pack up in the car tomorrow."

We sat down on the bed with our backs against the headboard and our legs stretched out in front of us. Matt had his arm around me and I rested my head on his shoulder and sighed "I can't believe you're really going tomorrow and this is the last time we can be together for months."

"I know, it's a mess. Let's make the most of today. Hey, why don't we play a game or something? As much as I'd like to spend the whole time just making out with you, I think being here on our own I don't trust myself to stop there today. Not when I know I won't be able to be near you for such a long time."

I nodded, I could feel the temptation to take things further today, just because it seemed like the end. "What kind of game?"

"I dunno, what about we can ask each other any question we like and we have to answer truthfully."

"What like truth or dare?"

"Kinda but no dares – we have to agree we're just gonna tell the truth."

"Ok, I'll go first. When was your first kiss and who with?" I asked with a smile.

"Are you sure you wanna ask me that? You're not gonna get mad or jealous or something are you?"

"No, I'm just curious."

"Ok, well my first ever kiss with a girl was in 2nd grade, she was an older woman, in 3rd grade." I laughed. "She made the first move. Her name was Marcy Johnson and she kissed me behind the climbing frame in the school yard."

"Does that really count? You didn't even kiss _her_, she kissed you!"

"Well, ok then the first girl_ I_ kissed was in 7th grade, I was 12 and she was this cute girl in my gym class. I invited her to go bowling with me and my family. We kissed in the arcade while my parents and brother weren't looking. I don't think she liked it much cos she never agreed to go out with me again. Ok, my turn. What is your most embarrassing moment?"

"Oh that's a hard one, I never know how to answer that. One of them was probably when Two-Bit walked in on us that time or maybe when Darry tried to give me the sex talk a few weeks ago!"

"Man that must have been excruciating!" he grinned.

"It was! Even _he_ was embarrassed. Of course, there was the time in 2nd grade when I wet myself in the school assembly and the whole school could see the puddle there when I got up – that was really humiliating!" I blushed then even as I remembered it. I think I was sick or something, as it wasn't normal for me to do that at that age.

"Oh poor you! I shouldn't have made you relive that! Ok your turn."

"Where would you most like to go in the world that you haven't been to yet?" I asked.

"Oh, there are so many places I haven't been! Erm, maybe Venice, in Italy. I always liked the idea of going about everywhere by boat and the quiet of there being no cars or buses. In the pictures I've seen of it, it looks so pretty and old and I could just see myself there with you, on a gondola serenading you down the canal!"

I laughed "That does sound really nice. I love pizza and pasta too, so it's ideal, let's go! We'd better start saving now!"

We carried on with the questions for a little while interspersed with a bit of making out and snuggling. It was fun to find out things about Matt that I hadn't known before.

"This game was such a great idea. I didn't know that you were afraid of spiders before or that your most ticklish spot was under your chin. All useful information for future reference!" I teased.

"Hey, this is not meant to be used against me! That's just mean. I may have to cancel our trip to Venice if you're just gonna take advantage of my weaknesses."

"Ok I promise not to taunt you with spiders as long as you promise not to let me within a mile of a snake. But the ticklish spot I may still hold in reserve!"

"For that I am gonna have to punish you!" Matt laughed and started tickling me all over – I am about one of the most ticklish people around and there is barely a spot where I am not ticklish.

"Ok, mercy!" I begged "Stop before I pee myself!"

"Oh no, we don't wanna relive that incident in the 2nd grade!" he teased, easing up on me. I slapped him on the arm

"Hey, that's just a low blow. I wouldn't have told you if I thought you were gonna bring it up again!" I pretended to be annoyed, but Matt knew I was only kidding.

"Forgive me, I just love it when you get all angry." He waggled his eyebrows and I couldn't help but giggle.

"Hey, what time is it? The guys will be here soon. You'd better go hide out in Darry's room. Nobody will go in there." I showed Matt the way to Darry's room and he sat down on the floor between the bed and the wardrobe with his book, so that even if anyone did come in they wouldn't be able to see him.

"They'll only be here a little while and then you can come back out."

"Gee thanks, I thought you had put me in the corner for the rest of the day for being naughty!"

"Just be good or I might." I smiled as I shut the door and quickly went back to my bed as I heard a car pulling up outside.

There was a soft knock on my door and Pony came in. "Hey Bex, you feeling any better?" he asked.

"A little. I just slept all morning, so I think that helped. Who drove you?"

"Two-Bit did. He's just helping himself to a sandwich. Do you want anything?"

"I'm ok."

"Sure? Can I bring you a Pepsi or something?"

"Thanks Pony, that would be good. Actually, maybe I'll come sit on the couch to drink it. I could do with stretching my legs." I stood up slowly, as if I was making sure I was steady on my feet, then followed Pony out into the Living Room and sat down on the couch with my legs curled underneath me. Two-Bit came bundling into the living room with a plate piled high with chicken sandwiches.

"Hey Bexster, how's the walking wounded?"

"I'm a bit better thanks Two-Bit."

"Hey Two-Bit you coulda made _me _a sandwich while you were at it!" Pony complained.

"I ain't no chef ya know, just a chauffeur." He grinned. Pony rolled his eyes and went off to make himself some lunch and get my Pepsi.

Two-Bit rabbited on about some girl he had chatted up in his history class that morning, he was convinced she had the hots for him, but I was sure it wasn't quite the way he told it.

"Two-Bit, shutup about your failed conquests and eat your sandwich." Pony said coming back in the living room. "You're gonna make Becky's headache worse with all your gabbing."

I laughed and thanked him for the Pepsi he was holding out to me.

"So, you really been sleeping all morning?"

"Pretty much, I just feel so sleepy. I think I am getting better though. My head already feels a bit less achy and my stomach is much calmer. Hopefully it's just a 24 hour thing."

"Yeah, well don't give it to me!" Pony said making sure he sat at the far end of the couch away from me. I rolled my eyes. He hated being sick and made a really bad patient.

"So, where's Steve?"

"Him and Evie went for a talk. I reckon she may be breaking up with him again…."

"Why what happened?"

"I think he got too drunk at the drive in last weekend and she was not impressed as she had to hitch a lift home with one of the Shepherd's gang." Two-Bit explained. "Even if they do break up they'll be back together again in a few days, you know what they're like!"

I nodded and smiled. Once the guys had finished their sandwiches it was time for them to head back already. "You be good there Bexster." Two-Bit wagged his finger at me.

"I'm too sick to be up to no good Two-Bit. I'm going back to bed for a bit."

"See ya later Becky." Pony waved as he and Two-bit went out the door. I heard the car shudder into life and then skid around the corner before I went to retrieve Matt from his hiding place.

"Hey, you ok there? You can come out now."

"Thank goodness, my legs are starting to go to sleep."

"Do you want something to eat? I can make us some grilled cheese." I offered.

"That sounds good." We went off into the kitchen and ate our lunch quickly before heading back to my room. It was already 1.30 and we knew our time was almost up. Matt sat down on my bed leaning against the head board and I sat on his lap with my legs either side of his waist. We hugged and kissed and I couldn't help a few tears as I knew this feeling of belonging would be lost to me after today. Matt gently wiped away my tears.

"Oh, Baby I'm so sorry about all this. I wish I could take you with me! I'll call you on Monday and I'll call you all the time, we'll write and I promise I'll try and visit as often as I can. Ok? We are right together and we will find a way to make it work."

I nodded and kissed him again even more deeply my hands moving over his back and his hands gently stroking my waist. It was at this point that the door opened and Darry walked in. His gasp was what alerted us to his presence. Why had we not heard his truck? What was he doing back so early? I jumped off of Matt's lap and tried to speak, but couldn't find any words.

"What the heck is going on here?!" Darry bellowed. "What do you think you are doing Rebecca? And you…." He pointed at Matt and then grabbed him by the collar and pulled him up to standing.

"Darry, no!" I yelled, scared of what he might do to him. "Just let him go, he'll go home now and he leaves tomorrow for California, so there's no point in hurting him. He won't be around anymore after today."

Darry ignored me and focused his attention entirely on Matt, still holding tight to his shirt.

"Look, I'm sorry Darry, I haven't done anything to Becky ok? We just were saying goodbye."

"You have no right to even lay a finger on my sister, let alone do what I just witnessed you doing. You are a 16 year old boy and you know better than to prey on a young girl of 12. She is a child and you have been told on several occasions to stay right away from her. How dare you come into my house behind my back and touch my sister?" His voice was quiet and sinister and it scared me a lot more than his yelling ever had. "Now once and for all, get out of my house and get out of my sister's life. Go to California and forget about her, she is nothing to you. I don't want you calling or writing and if you come back to visit, you stay away from Rebecca, ya hear me?"

"Ok Darry, I'm going. Can you just let me go." Matt said and I could tell he was scared.

"I will accompany you to the door." Darry spat and he half dragged Matt out of the room, just turning to say to me "You, stay right here and don't move!" I heard Matt trying to defend me, knowing that I was in big trouble with Darry.

"Don't blame Becky, it was all my idea. I heard she was sick, so I came over to say goodbye. I'm sorry!"

"You expect me to believe that?!" Darry sneered.

I saw him drag Matt to the door and more or less push him down the porch steps, as Two-Bit had done, but so far he had held back from hitting him at least. I was surprised at his self-control, as I was sure he wanted to rip Matt's head off. I dare not follow them to see what was going on as Darry had told me to stay where I was. A moment later he was back and I sat down on the bed with tears rolling down my cheeks. I couldn't believe this had been our goodbye, now it had ended with Darry throwing him out of our house instead of a final kiss. I was feeling desperate about Matt leaving and also petrified of what Darry was going to do.

"Of all the stunts you have ever pulled Rebecca, this has to be the lowest of the low. You got us all believing you were sick and going out of our way to look after you when it was all just one big ruse, just so you could have some make out time with Matt. Don't even try to tell me that what Matt just said was true, cos this has your name written all over it. I should have guessed you were lying to me, why was I so stupid as to believe a word you said about being sick? It's the same stunt you pulled for the dance and I still fell for it. Well, from now on I'll know better than to believe a single word that comes out of your mouth."

I felt dreadful because everything he was saying was all true and I had lied and deceived the people I loved most in the world. I understood why he said he couldn't trust me and it just made me sob even harder. "I'm sorry for lying to you Darry." I said simply, there wasn't anything else I could say in my defence. "I had to see Matt and say goodbye and there was no other way."

Darry looked at me with disgust. "You put yourself in danger being here alone with him all day, you know that? I saw the way he was touching you just now and you were all over him. If I hadn't come back when I did who knows how far things may have gone. You have been told to stay away from him for good reason Rebecca and you still choose to disobey us and lie to us rather than do as you are told. Well, I have nothing more to say to you at the moment. I am so angry with you that I can't even bear to be near you, so you stay in your room and don't come out until I tell you otherwise. I will deal with your punishment later when I have cooled down. I am at my wits end with you Rebecca, do you even want to live here with us?"

I looked at him in shock at that question. "What? Of course I do." I sobbed, of course there was nowhere else I would rather be, except maybe in California with Matt.

"Well, you sure don't act like it. You don't seem to care about the rules we make to protect you and you don't have any respect for any of us. Maybe you'd rather be taken away." I knew he said that out of anger, but it hurt more than anything and I threw myself face down on the bed and sobbed my heart out as he went out slamming the door behind him. I couldn't believe he would even say that or was it because he hated me so much he wanted to send me away and didn't want me to be a burden to him anymore. Maybe that was it. For a moment I wondered if he would call social services and have me taken away, but deep down I knew I was probably being over-dramatic. He was really mad at me and was just trying to make me think about my behaviour and the effect it could have on our family.

I lay on my bed and just cried until I was so exhausted I fell asleep. I didn't sleep well though. I dreamt that my brothers and Two-Bit and Steve had all caught up with Matt and they were pounding on him. It felt so real, that it took me a while to calm down when I woke up again. I looked at the clock, it was 4.30, so I knew Pony must be home by now and it wouldn't be long till Soda came home too. I needed to pee, but didn't know if I dare emerge from my room and risk being yelled at by Darry to get back in my room. In the end the situation became urgent, so I had to. I walked past the living room and into the bathroom to relieve myself.

When I came out Pony was there on the couch. He shot me a sideways glance and gave me a sympathetic smile, I tried to smile back."Sorry Bex." He said quietly, trying not to let Darry hear. He was in the kitchen making dinner. I nodded in reply.

"I'd better go back in there." I whispered.

Darry must have heard us as he came thundering out of the kitchen. "I thought I told you to stay in there!" he yelled.

I didn't say anything, just turned and walked back into my room feeling heavy hearted. Would Darry ever forgive me for this or was he gonna stay mad at me forever? I heard Pony defending me as I shut my door.

"She just went for a pee Darry, give her a break."

"She don't deserve any breaks." He growled and went back to the kitchen.

I felt restless and couldn't keep still, pacing my room, waiting for something to happen. What that thing was, I didn't know. I wondered if Darry was going to leave me in my room till the morning or whether he was gonna deal with me this evening. Was he gonna send Soda in to talk to me or was he gonna keep me in solitary confinement?

I was thinking about all these things, but at the same time none of it seemed to matter so much when I remembered that Matt was gone. I felt an incredible melancholy, in some ways I didn't care what Darry did to me cos nothing could be worse than the way I felt already knowing I wouldn't be seeing Matt the next day, the next week or even the next month. I wanted to go to sleep and wake up with all the sadness gone. I wished more than anything that Mom was here to talk to. I know she would have been mad at me, like Darry was, for lying and sneaking, but she would have also known what to say to help me deal with Matt leaving. She always knew how to make things better. I laid down and cried, this time for Mom and Dad and the empty hole I still felt inside me when I thought of them.

I must have fallen asleep again as the next time I knew anything it was 7.30 and there was a knock at my door. Darry walked in and my stomach turned over with fear. He glared at me coldly and sat down on the desk chair.

"We need to talk Rebecca." I looked down at my hands, not wanting to make eye contact. "This disobedience and lying has to stop. If you want to remain under this roof and part of this family then you have to start obeying some rules and listening to what we tell you. You are just a child Rebecca, whether you agree with that or not, you are under my guardianship and if you are not prepared to obey my rules and respect me then this is not going to go well for you."

The tears dripped down my cheeks. I had to tell him that I didn't want to live anywhere else apart from with him and my other brothers. "Please don't send me away." I said desperately.

He looked surprised "I ain't sending you anywhere Rebecca. None of us want you anywhere but here with us, but you've got to realise that if you carry on going against us all the time the social services are not going to allow us to take care of you anymore. They won't let me be your guardian if I can't keep you in line, if I can't get you to obey me. That's the problem. Lots of kids rebel against their parents, but they don't have the threat of social services hanging over them. Their rebellion doesn't carry such a big risk as yours does Rebecca. I am at the end of my tether with you. Nothing I say or do seems to make any difference and if it carries on like this pretty soon you are going to do something which draws attention to yourself and social services will be down on us like a ton of bricks."

I hated the fact that on top of missing Matt and dealing with Darry's anger I had to worry about Social Services taking me away from my home. Why couldn't I just have a normal teenage life without worrying about that, it wasn't fair.

"I'm sorry Darry. I promise to try harder. I love you and Soda and Pony and I don't want to be taken away from you. I will try to listen and obey Darry. I will try, please forgive me." I collapsed in floods of tears again, unable to bear the thought of being without my brothers as well as without my parents and Matt.

Darry sighed and the cold look left his face, but he was still resolved to follow through on his punishment. "I really hope you will try, Becky and I hope that one day we will be able to trust you again. For now, you still need to take your punishment. You lied to us, you disobeyed us and saw Matt behind our backs and you were carrying on with him in a totally inappropriate way for someone of your age. I'm going to give you another spanking and you will be grounded for a week. You are not allowed to be in contact with Matt, no phone calls, no letters. If I find out you are still in contact with him we will make sure you are never left alone for a moment. I will even sleep in your room if that's what it takes to stop this thing."

I knew he meant it and I was determined to make sure that never happened. Of course, I was still gonna write to Matt and phone him, but I would do my very best to keep it hidden. It would be easier than hiding our relationship when he was here. "Darry, I can't help it if he writes to me can I? He told me he would write."

"Any letters you get, you hand them over to me, understood? This relationship is wrong and it needs to stop now. It's the perfect chance for you to put it all behind you with him being so far away. If you write and phone you will just go on wishing for the impossible and that is not gonna help you. You can never be together, so it's best just to cut off all contact. I know you think you love him and I'm sure you are feeling sad that he is going, but that will soon wear off. I'm sure you hate me and think I'm being unreasonable, but I only want what is right for you and this is not right for you."

"I don't hate you Darry." I mumbled, but he was right, I did think he was being totally unreasonable. He seemed to think I could just switch off my feelings now that Matt was living somewhere else. Well, I couldn't.

"Ok, let's get this over with then. Are you wearing any underwear?" I blushed and nodded. "Ok, then take the pyjama pants off."

"Darry, please!" I hated the embarrassment of being over his knee and even more so when I was only wearing my underwear.

"Sorry Bex, take the pyjama pants off." Reluctantly I stood up and pulled them off. Darry took my hand and pulled me over his lap. Without the mattress to bury my head in I just hung my head down and clung on to the chair legs. "Ok, this is for lying, disobeying and behaving inappropriately." Darry explained before bringing his hand down with a resounding slap, causing me to yelp. I tried not to cry but after the first 5 hits I was bawling again. It went on for longer than usual and he must have swatted me at least 20 times. I was a mess when he had finished. He stood me up and I quickly pulled my pyjama pants back on rubbing my backside which was throbbing.

Darry pulled me into a hug and I let him. I was in need of some consolation and love. "Becky, I hope it will be the last time I have to do that for a long time. I don't enjoy it you know? I just can't let your behaviour carry on. I love you Becky."

I sniffled into his shirt "I love you too Darry."

"Do you want some food?"

"Yeah, I'm pretty hungry."

"I'll get you a chicken sandwich."

"Can I eat it out there?" I asked.

"Ok and for the rest of the week you are to stay in your room, apart from school, washing and eating."

"Ok Darry." I hadn't got it left in me to try and argue with anything he said at the moment. Soda was in the living room with Steve and I immediately blushed at the thought of Steve listening in on my spanking. I hoped he had arrived after it had finished, but he had probably been there the whole time. He smirked at me and my thoughts were confirmed, Soda gave him an angry nudge in the ribs and smiled at me sympathetically. I must have looked a mess with my red eyes and messed up hair. "Hey Bex." He said gently.

"Hey Soda." I answered in a low voice, hurrying behind Darry to the kitchen.

Darry fixed me a chicken salad sandwich and I ate it standing up, I couldn't bear to sit yet. "When you've finished that you go back in your room, got it?" Darry reminded me.

"Got it Darry." I ate quickly and then hurried back to my room to avoid speaking to Steve, who I knew would revel in teasing me about being spanked. He could be really insensitive. I often wondered why Soda wanted to be friends with someone who seemed so opposite to him. I lay on my side on my bed, looking at the photo I had of me and Matt. I was gonna miss him so much. There was a gentle knock on my door about 9.30 and Soda came in.

"So, you back in trouble again hey Becky-Boo?!"

"Sure looks like it." I said.

"You gonna stay outta trouble for a while now and give Darry's hand a rest?" he tried to joke.

"It ain't funny Soda. It really hurts and it's so embarrassing being spanked like a little kid."

"I know Baby, I wish you had just stayed away from that boy." He shook his head sadly. He noticed the photo in my hand. "I know you are gonna miss him, but truly I think you are better of with him gone Baby. He just ain't right for you. You will be better off just being a kid for a while longer and staying away from boys until you're older, like 30." He smiled.

I still couldn't produce a smile back and a tear rolled down my cheek. "I really will miss him Soda, he made me feel special and he was so sweet to me."

"Well, you are special Becky, you don't need him to tell you that and aren't I sweet to you?"

"Not in the same way." I said sadly.

"Well, I guess not, but we'll do our best to make you feel happy Becky and I know it feels like you could never be happy without him right now, but pretty soon you will start to realise you can enjoy life even though he's not with you. I got over Sandy didn't I?" he spoke kindly and I know he was trying to make me feel better, but I didn't want to be happy without Matt, I wanted Matt. I nodded not wanting Soda to feel bad.

"I'll leave you to sleep." He gave me a quick hug and kissed me on the cheek. I love you Becky. Things will be better soon." He reassured me. I sure hoped he was right cos I didn't want to feel the way I did right then forever!


	24. Chapter 24 - More trouble

**_Thanks so much to everyone who reviewed and commented. Please read and review again!_**

Chapter 24

**More trouble**

That weekend seemed to go on forever, but for once I was glad to be grounded. All I wanted was to be left alone in my room and cry and I had all the time in the world for that. I missed Matt all the time, even though I wouldn't have seen him at the weekend even he was still in Tulsa. It was just knowing that he was so far away and that there was no lunch date to look forward to, or no elicit meeting at Tara's house, no nothing, that made it feel unbearable. On Sunday I decided to write him a letter, so at least I could talk to him about how I was feeling. I had to hide it and pretend I was doing my homework when Darry called me out for dinner. Though, what harm he thought it could do my writing Matt a letter, was beyond me.

"Hey Bex." Said Soda gently, as I sat at the table. "How are you doing?" Of all my brothers I knew he understood the most how I was feeling, having been in love with Sandy and lost her. I shrugged and didn't answer. I put a small spoonful of rice and beans on my plate and Darry raised his eyebrows at how little I took.

"Is that all you're having?"

"I ain't hungry." I didn't feel like eating or talking or anything. I just wanted to wallow in my misery and not be distracted by anything else. I pushed the food round on my plate.

"Eat, you'll feel better." Darry advised.

I rolled my eyes. As if eating was gonna make me feel better. I put a small forkful of food into my mouth just to stop him nagging. All my brothers were looking at me with concern. It was unlike me to be like this. I could be moody, but I wasn't often sad. "If you all keep staring at me I can't eat." I snapped.

"We're just worried about you." Soda explained. "We hate to see you looking so sad."

"Well, I do feel sad and you _know_ why. Nothing is gonna make me feel better, so just leave me alone."

"You can't mope around like this forever." Darry replied.

"Maybe I can. It's only been 2 days, I'm sorry I can't just pretend to be happy." I snarled.

"Well there's no need to go round snapping at all of us." Darry commented. I huffed and kicked my foot against the table leg.

"And you can stop that!" Darry was getting mad now. I decided just to ignore them all and go back to my room as quickly as possible. I ate my small pile of rice and then took my plate to the sink, turning to go back to my room.

"Not so fast Missy, you're on dishes while you're grounded." I resisted the urge to stamp my foot and just turned back to the sink and started washing to get it over as fast as possible. I was looking forward to school the next day, just for the distraction and to get away from my brothers, especially Darry. He just didn't understand what I was going through and he had no sympathy.

I went straight off to my room once I'd finished the dishes. I went to sleep, wishing I could play Matt's song and hear his voice, but the only record player was out in the living room, so I could only do that when I was alone. Not only was I not allowed out of my room, but I knew my brothers would not appreciate the song and its words.

The next morning Two-Bit took me to school, as usual. Steve had told him about what happened on Friday, so he couldn't resist making a joke at my expense.

"Ah, sorry Bex, I forgot to bring you a pillow to sit on there!" he cackled.

"Ha, ha." I blushed and glared at him.

"So, now Matt's gone, no more hiding men in closets anymore hey?" he raised an eyebrow at me. I think he was actually a bit annoyed at me for having Matt there, but also for lying to him and Pony that lunchtime.

"He was in Darry's room actually. No closets involved." I said sullenly, crossing my arms.

"Whatever Bex, that was pretty sneaky and pretty low making everyone think you were sick." He sounded serious for once.

"Like you've never done anything like that."

"Not to you." I felt bad cos he seemed genuinely upset that I had deceived him, but there was no way I could have told him that Matt was there, he was the one who had ratted me out the last time! I almost apologised, but was feeling too miserable to bother.

"We should plan something fun Bex to get your mind off things at bit." Tara suggested to me in a low voice.

"Nah, I'm not really up for doing much at the moment, anyway I'm grounded all this week."

"Well, next week then. Let's plan something for you to look forward to…"

"Thanks Tara, but I really don't feel like going out anyway."

"I hate to see you so miserable Bex." She lowered her voice even further "Why don't you come to my place after school and try calling Matt?"

"I can't after school Steve is picking me up and taking me to the DX to do my homework cos Pony has track."

"Well, let's plan that for next week then? My mom will be at work and my sister won't care."

"Thanks Tara. I would love that." For the first time since Friday I smiled at the hope of being able to talk to Matt. I would have tried to phone from the DX, but the phone there was set up to only make calls within the state, so employees couldn't make expensive calls outside of Oklahoma.

School played its part as a distraction from my thoughts and I forced myself to focus. It was good to have something completely different to think about. Tara and I ate lunch with Caro and the others, even though I was no longer required to report in with Ponyboy, Steve and Two-Bit. Caro was still going on about her plan to get back at the Principal, who she had really taking a disliking to. Well, I think the feeling was mutual actually. He did seem to take every opportunity to haul her up for things and he did seem to assume every bad thing that happened in the school must find its origin with her.

"Man, he accused me of writing all over the boys' bathroom! I mean, the _boys'_ bathroom! How did I have anything to do with that?!"

"He's crazy!" Melanie agreed laughing.

"So, do you have a plan?" Tara asked.

"Actually, I think I do. Are you guys in on it with us?"

I shrugged. I didn't know if I could get excited about some silly stunt to annoy the principal. For once I wasn't actually bothered about getting into trouble. I just didn't care one way or the other.

"Yeah, probably, it depends what it is?" said Tara.

"Well, Wednesday afternoon, the senior teachers have a meeting and I was gonna skip gym class and go do some damage to his precious car."

"What kind of damage?" I asked. I wasn't really up for smashing his windows or slashing his tires. That just seemed mean and would cost him a lot of money.

"Well, I was gonna egg it."

The other guys laughed. "Egg it?"

"Yeah, ya know. Throw eggs all over it. They are a real pig to get off!"

"I'm in!" Tara said with a grin and I nodded. It would be even more of a distraction and with the teachers in a meeting we should be safe from being spotted! It wasn't my usual style to do stuff like that, but my misery was like a shell against all other normal feelings. I would normally be far too scared of being caught and getting in trouble at school or with Darry, but it felt like nothing worse could ever happen to me right now, so I was just glad for the diversion.

At the end of school Steve picked me up as arranged. "Hey Kiddo. Manage to stay outta trouble for one day?"

I didn't even bother to answer, just rolled my eyes and sat in the passenger seat with my arms crossed.

"You're a barrel of laughs today. Your butt still hurting?" he grinned.

"Ha, ha. Glad you find it all so funny." I retorted and was surprised to find I was close to tears. I looked away from Steve and out the window, so that he didn't notice.

He softened a bit "You're better off without him Becky. He was nothing but trouble for you."

"So everyone keeps saying." I snapped. Steve chose not to say much else the rest of the way to the DX and I disappeared straight off into the back office to start on my homework. Soda was busy at the pumps but came to say hi when he had finished serving the customer.

"Hey Becky-Boo. Here I brought you a Pepsi. How was your day?"

"Thanks. It was ok." I answered and went back to my math homework.

"Are you mad at me?" Soda asked, sounding hurt.

"No, just miserable." I said looking up at him.

"I know how you're feeling. It will get better, soon you won't think about it all day long, then you will be able to enjoy doing other stuff again. I wish I could make you feel better."

"You could let me call Matt." I said, hopeful that he may relent if he really hated to see me so miserable.

"Sorry, Bex, that I can't do. Darry would kill me and I agree with him on this. You're better off drawing a line under the whole thing."

I gripped my pencil tightly in frustration. "Well then there is nothing you can do to make me feel better." I went back to my math and refused to look back up at him.

He sighed and went back to work. "I'll be another hour, then I'll come get ya."

I was glad to be able to retreat to my room when we got home and not have to communicate with anyone until dinner. Darry was obviously tired of seeing me looking so miserable and even said I could come out into the living room after dinner, but I declined and went to be alone and think about Matt. I had given my letter to Tara to mail for me and I had told Matt to send any mail for me to Tara's address, so I would have to wait till tomorrow to see if he had sent me anything. I wished I could call him and just hear his voice. I sat there for several minutes just staring at his photo and holding the pendant he had given me in my hand. I put the photo under my pillow before I went to sleep.

The next day Tara had a card for me from Matt. He wrote it on his way to Santa Monica on Saturday.

_Dear Becky,_

_Sorry for the way I had to leave you on Friday. I hope Darry wasn't too hard on you and that you are ok. I wish we could have parted on a more positive note. I'm writing this in the car on the way to our new home, so I don't have much to tell you yet, but just wanted to let you know that I am thinking of you and I miss you already. I will put your photo up in my room as soon as I get there and will write as often as I can. I hope I can call too, but I don't want to get you into trouble with Darry. He sure was mad on Friday wasn't he? Well, I will write properly again when I get to my new house and tell you about my school and stuff. Please write soon and tell me how you're doing. Be happy!_

_Love, Your Matt _

It was short and sweet, sweet like he was. It sounded just like him talking and it made me happy to have something from him, that he was thinking about me. But also sad, that I was reminded about his sweetness and what I was missing out on. I hoped my letter would get there quickly and he would write and let me know all about his new life there.

I got through another day at school and even got an A on my history quiz, which would make Darry happy. I also went to the try outs for the gymnastics squad. I could have gone out for cheerleading, as I was good at all the flips and jumps that required, but I had no desire to hang out with a bunch of catty soc girls all the time. So, the gymnastics squad would channel my talents without having to wave a bunch of pompoms or make nice with the socs. It would be a great distraction and something I actually enjoyed. I thought the try-outs went well, but would have to wait till the next day to find out if I was on the team or not.

I was feeling slightly less melancholy by the end of the day, what with Matt's card and the try-outs and having something to look forward to. Plus the next day was Caro's planned attack on the Principal's car and I was actually looking forward to that too. It would be fun to watch his reaction and he really was not a nice man, well not if you were a greaser anyway. If all went according to plan then we would not be seen and there would be no repercussions, though Caro would probably get hauled in anyway, even without any evidence!

Soda noticed my happier mood when I arrived at the DX after school "Hey Bex, you look a bit more like yourself today. Are you feeling a bit better?"

"Well, I had a good day and I don't feel as bad as yesterday."

"That's the way it goes Sweetie, every day will get a little bit better until you feel ok with things as they are." He gave me a sideways hug and I leant my head on his shoulder. He was always trying to make me feel better, such a good brother even if we didn't see eye to eye about Matt.

"Thanks Soda. I'd better go do my homework."

"Yeah or Darry will have my hide!"

"No, he'll have mine actually, so I'd better get to it!" I grinned and went off to the back office.

I first wrote another letter to Matt, thanking him for his card and telling him about the try-outs and Caro's little plan for the Principal. I knew that would make him laugh. I quickly folded it up and put it in my bag before Soda came in with a snack for me.

On Wednesday morning Caro, Melanie, Susie, Trish, Tara and I were all finding it hard to concentrate. Caro got in trouble in math class and Tara got told off in English and was given a detention. I was also in a particularly good mood because I had made it onto the gymnastics squad. The first practice was next Thursday. I tried to keep my head down in class, but we were all excited about our little plan for the afternoon. The six of us went to the bleachers for lunch and could talk of nothing else.

"So, have you got all the supplies there Caro?" Tara asked and Caro opened her backpack to reveal 3 large cartons of eggs and some party string.

"I thought the string would add a bit of colour!" she grinned.

"That's gonna really stick to the egg!" Trish said eagerly.

"Yeah, my thoughts exactly." Caro laughed wickedly.

I joined in the laughter. I didn't feel as bad as I thought I would about this. It's not like we were gonna do any permanent damage to his car and Principal Roberts really deserved everything he got for way he ran his school and discriminated against us greasers.

"I can't wait to see Principal Robert's face when he comes out and finds it!" I squealed excitedly.

"Finds what?" came Pony's voice from behind me. I felt a chill go through me at being caught and had to try and think fast on my feet. I looked round at Ponyboy, my cheeks red.

"You ain't planning to get yourself into more trouble are ya Bexster?" asked Two-Bit.

"Nah." I laughed trying to sound innocent.

"Well, what's Principal Roberts gonna find?" Pony asked.

I glared at him "None of your business Pony, you ain't Darry, so don't try and be him!" I didn't have to explain anything to him. He wasn't in charge of me and it wasn't up to him to tell me what to do.

Pony shrugged. "Well, if you're planning some stupid stunt, I wouldn't do it, cos knowing you Becky, you're bound to get caught!" he advised me.

"Well, thanks for the advice, but I'll take a chance and live a little if you don't mind." I said cattily.

"It's your funeral." He snapped and turned away, annoyed at my attitude, but I didn't care if he was annoyed. I was too.

"See ya later Becky." Said Steve and he followed Pony. Two-Bit raised his eyebrows at me, surprised at my attitude to Pony and my plans to do something rebellious again.

"Geez Bexster, you really are getting to be quite the rebel these days. You be careful there. If you get in more trouble at school Darry's gonna blow a gasket!"

"Again, thanks for the advice, but it's my butt at risk so I'll be the one to decide." I sneered back.

"Well, it is quite literally your butt at risk ain't it Becky, so you'd better watch out." He too followed Pony and I could tell I had upset him too with my snarky attitude. Oh well, I was annoyed with them for trying to control my life and also annoyed because now I was feeling anxious about this whole stunt, whereas I had been excited about it before!

We had to get through one more class before we could put our plan into action. Art class had never seemed to last so long, but finally it was over and we all headed off together towards the teachers parking area, which was round the back of the main building. I wasn't too worried about skipping gym cos I could tell Coach Barnes it was my period and he would not want to discuss it any further! We were giggling and being silly, but my stomach was also starting to churn, as we located Principal Roberts' blue Rangler. I knew this was not the brightest thing I had ever done, but the teachers were all in a meeting so it was low risk. Caro distributed the eggs – she and Trish shared a carton, Melanie and Susie shared another and Tara and I took the third one.

"Let's do it!" said Caro with a grin and threw the first egg right on the windscreen. Tara and I took the right hand side of the car and Tara grabbed an egg and threw it at the passenger door. I followed suit and threw one at the back window. It was a great feeling letting out some pent up anger and very satisfying when the egg smashed onto the car leaving egg white and yolk glooping down the window! I couldn't help but grin and got into the swing of it, flinging my next egg on the roof of the car. We were all laughing and whooping with joy. Once the eggs were done Caro grabbed the Party string and squirted it liberally all over the windscreen, then round the sides of the car. Just then we heard voices shouting and we ran as fast as we could splitting up in different directions. Tara and I went round the side of the building. Not quick enough though. I felt a hand clamp down on my shoulder and saw Tara struggling against one grasping her too. Damn! I should have listened to Ponyboy. He was right, I do always get caught!

"Stop right there you two!" came Principal Roberts angry voice. "You have a lot of explaining to do. Straight to my office, now!" Not surprisingly he sounded furious. We had just wrecked his precious car. It was hard to deny that we had anything to do with it, as I was still holding the incriminating egg carton in my hand and I noticed that Tara had some party string in her hair. She looked at me sideways and grimaced. We knew we were in big trouble.

"In there!" Principal Roberts shoved us towards his office, I noticed none of the others were there, so they must have got away. "I cannot believe this behaviour! Damaging someone else's property on school premises and skipping class to do it! Do you have anything at all to say for yourselves?"

We shook our heads, both of us were looking down at our feet nervously. What was he going to do with us? "This kind of behaviour cannot and will not be tolerated and you will both be severely punished. I know there were more of you involved. If you tell me the names of the others involved then I will refrain from using the strap on you." What? A chill went down my spine and my stomach did a flip. I looked up at him, my eyes wide with disbelief. He was thinking of strapping us? I had heard rumours that you could get the strap if you did something really bad, but I hadn't realised it was true. I'd thought it was just something people said to scare you. Of course we couldn't rat the others out. I glanced at Tara who also looked as pale and scared as I did, but I knew she had no intention of telling the Principal who else had been with us. I'm sure he had a strong idea who it was anyway.

"Nothing to say?" he sneered. "Ok. Miss Horton, you wait outside while I deal with Miss Curtis." Tara looked at me and tried to give me an encouraging smile, but couldn't manage more than a grimace. She closed the door behind her.

"Lean over with your hands on the desk Miss Curtis." He commanded and I saw him take the leather strap out of his desk drawer. I have never felt so scared in my life, but I couldn't even form the words to argue, especially since I knew it would be futile. I placed my hands on the desk and braced myself as he stood behind me. I was shaking and my hands were sweaty. I felt sick with fear.

"I am going to give you 10 swats Miss Curtis and I want you to remain in this position."

I heard the strap whistle through the air as he swung it towards my backside before I felt the sharp sting "Ahh!" I couldn't help crying out. It hurt like heck and I bit my lip, trying not to cry. The next swat came almost straight away and then again and again. After 5 swats I was bawling despite myself and my breath was ragged. It was far worse than any spanking Darry had ever given me. Far more painful and worse because it was not done by someone who loved me. After the 10th one he told me to stand. Instinctively my hands went straight to my butt as I stood up.

"I will be calling your brother after I have dealt with Miss Horton and you will both be suspended for the week, you will also be cleaning my car before you leave today. Go wait outside and tell Miss Horton to come in," I couldn't reply cos I was crying too hard, but I nodded, wiping my hand across my face. Tara looked petrified when she saw me coming out, she must have heard the beating and she knew what was coming her way. Seeing me in such a state did nothing to reassure her about how bad it was.

"He wants you to go in." I managed to croak out. Tara nodded and went into the office as if she were going to her death. I tried to sit on the chair, but it was so uncomfortable that I had to sort of lean forward with all my weight on my legs. I heard the slap of the strap and Tara's yelps from the office and my heart went out to her. I tensed up with each one, almost feeling it again. I hated Principal Roberts even more than I had. What gave him the right to do this to children in his care? It was wrong. And what on earth was Darry going to say about all this? He was gonna kill me for sure.

Tara came out of the office looking like I did and sat down gingerly next to me. "Are you ok?" I asked her. My tears had dried up by now, but she was still crying softly. "Yeah, it really hurts though. I thought I was gonna die."

"What a jerk hey? I wish we'd slashed his tyres and broken his windows now, that would have made it worthwhile!"

Tara managed a small smile "Yeah. He's calling my mom."

"And Darry…" I said meaningfully and Tara gave me a sympathetic look. "How mad will your Mom be?"

"She's gonna be pretty mad, but she'll get over it quicker than she should probably." Tara said drying her face.

"Darry is gonna go crazy." I felt tears rising again. "Can my life get any worse right now?!" I wished I had just stayed away from Caro's stupid stunt. All this trouble wasn't worth the small amount of enjoyment we got out of it. And me and Tara had to clean it all off now too!

"Sorry Bex. I probably dragged you into this one."

"No you didn't. I was happy to go along with it. It's not your fault." She grabbed my hand and gave it a reassuring squeeze.

"I guess I won't be seeing the outside of my house for a very long time though." I groaned.

"Probably me too. Mom's never grounded me before, but I've never been suspended either."

"Yeah, well I have. Darry is gonna be furious about this going on my record and the social services finding out. I don't know why I get myself into these messes!" I was annoyed with myself for how stupid I had been. I was dreading Darry walking through that door. Before he could though, Principal Roberts came out to talk to us again.

"Miss Simpson will accompany you both to the cleaning closet where you will get the appropriate equipment for cleaning up your mess. I expect every trace of egg and string to be gone before you leave this evening. I have asked your guardians to be here at 5.30 which should give you time to do a thorough job."

Well at least I had a few hours reprieve from Darry and at least he didn't have to miss work in order to come and get me this time. I hoped he would maybe have a chance to cool down in the next few hours. Tara and I grabbed buckets of water, sponges, soap and cloths and headed out to the teacher's parking lot. Caro had been right, the egg was a pig to get off and I began to feel slightly annoyed at her for getting us into this mess. Typically, she had got away even though it had been her idea! We scraped and wiped and scrubbed for 2 hours solid having to refill our buckets several times and by the end the car looked pretty good. It was now 4.30 so we had another hour before Darry and Tara's mom would be here. We put our buckets away and went to sit back outside the Principal's office. It was good at least to be in this with my friend, we had each other for moral support. We talked in low voices, not wanting to get in trouble for chatting, about what our fate would be and about Caro and the others.

At 5.30 on the dot Darry came storming through the office door and spoke to the secretary who pointed him in my direction. I glanced up just enough to see the fury on his face and then studied my sneakers, which suddenly became fascinating. Anything to avoid making eye contact. He didn't even say a word to me before he went into the Principal's office to be told the full story of what had happened and what punishment had been given. When he came out again I glanced up to find him glaring at me.

"Let's go Rebecca." He snapped pulling me up by my wrist.

"Bye Tara." I said softly and then followed quickly after Darry. It was always hard for me to keep up with him and his long strides, as my legs were so much shorter than his, but he walked even faster when he was mad and I had to basically run to keep up. He unlocked the truck and I clambered in without waiting to be told, sitting carefully to avoid my bruised backside as much as possible. I hated the silence, I would rather he was yelling at me, but he just squeezed his lips firmly together and breathed deeply, gripping tightly onto the steering wheel so that his knuckles were white. I tried to break the silence.

"Darry, I'm s…."

"I don't wanna hear it, just keep your trap shut!" he barked making my throat tighten and bringing tears to my eyes. He was mad as heck with me and I hated it. I wanted to tell him I was sorry, that it wasn't my idea, that I hadn't meant to get in trouble at school again…but I knew I had better do as he said and keep quiet or he would completely lose it with me. I looked away from him and out the window letting my tears fall, but trying not to let him know I was crying. When we got home I quickly wiped my eyes and practically ran inside and into my room, past Soda and Pony in the living room, before Darry could send me there.

"Bex, are you ok?" Soda called after me.

"Leave her, she's in trouble again that's all." I heard Darry say gruffly as he came inside.

Darry had phoned the high school and left a message for Steve not to pick me up from school, but Steve had no more information than that for Soda when he turned up for work at the DX that afternoon, so it was left for Darry to explain my latest misdemeanour to him and Pony. I lay face down on my bed to avoid my sore backside. It was really aching. I sobbed my heart out, wishing that everything would just be right again. Wishing I hadn't been so stupid as to go along with Caro's stupid plan, wishing Matt was still here, wishing Mom and Dad were still here and Johnny and Dally and that everything bad that had happened over the past year and a half would just be a dream. I wanted Darry just to be my bossy big brother again and not have to punish me or tell me off all the time. I wanted it all to be normal again. But of course wishing would get me nowhere and neither would crying.

I wondered how long I would be left alone before the inevitable facedown with Darry. I was surprised when about 15 minutes later Soda knocked on my door.

"Hey Becky, Darry wants you to come have dinner." He said. I couldn't tell if he was annoyed at me too or if he felt sorry for me. I said nothing and just followed him out to the kitchen and grabbed a pillow to sit on. Pony glanced at me and gave me a sympathetic look. I seemed to be warranting a lot of those from him lately. I was always in trouble these days. I was glad he wasn't just saying 'I told you so', which he probably had every right to do.

Darry slammed a plate of spaghetti with tomato and tuna in front of me and I gingerly picked up my fork. I wasn't feeling remotely hungry but I didn't want to get yelled at for not eating on top of everything else. Darry was fuming still and I wondered why he hadn't just left me in my room to fester.

"So do you mind telling me what the heck got into your head today to even contemplate pulling a stunt like that?" Darry asked in a cold, stern voice.

Did I really have to discuss this and get yelled at in front of all 3 of them? "Can't we talk after dinner?" I asked timidly.

"I'm asking you now and I expect a pretty damn good answer!"

"Darry, maybe you should do this after we eat." Soda suggested, trying to spare my embarrassment.

"I think she owes us all an explanation as to why she continues to put our family at risk of being separated despite all my warnings. Something like this could really get the attention of Social Services and that's the kind of attention we could do without. So I'll ask you again Rebecca, what the heck were you thinking?"

I looked down at my plate and pushed the pasta around. I didn't have a really good answer, but I had to say something. "I guess I wasn't thinking." I said quietly.

"Is that all you have to say?!" Darry yelled and I jumped.

"I'm sorry Darry, I just went along with the joke, it wasn't my idea and I didn't even want to do it at first, but then with everything going on with Matt and things I just wanted a bit of fun that's all."

Darry went from mad to livid at my words. "Fun?! You call that fun? Damaging the Principal's car like that? Mom and Dad brought us up better than to treat other people like that and be so disrespectful. And didn't you know the sort of trouble you would get into for something like that?! You already have one suspension on your record."

"Come on Darry, it's the kind of thing I woulda done at school and you know it." Soda said trying to calm Darry down a bit. I shot him a grateful glance.

"Yeah and Dad and Mom woulda come down on you like a ton of bricks too."

"Yeah, but it ain't fair that Becky has to worry about Social Services is it? We never had that to think about that. She just made a mistake and I'm sure Social Services will understand it was out of character. Until recently Bex has never been in any trouble at school."

"That's what worries me. This group of girls she's been hanging out with is getting her into more and more trouble and I ain't gonna stand for it. I managed to negotiate with Principal Roberts when I talked to him. He said he will only suspend you till the end of the week and will remove it from your record if you tell him the names of the others involved." He glared at me expectantly.

My heart sank. How could I rat my friends out? I just couldn't. I would never live it down, they would hate me and I would be a social outcast. "I can't do that Darry."

"You can and you will." He said firmly.

"If I do that I will have to change schools. I can't go back and be a social outcast for the rest of the year. They will never forgive me, I'll have no friends." I complained helplessly, tears beginning to form in my eyes.

"I don't give a damn about these new so-called friends of yours, I would be very happy if they wouldn't talk to you anymore and you stayed well away from them. Tara ain't gonna abandon you and that's all that matters. You will write a letter apologising to Principal Roberts and in it you will give him the names of the others involved." He demanded.

"I won't do it." I said stubbornly avoiding Darry's gaze. I knew he would be furious at my defiance. There was a scrape and a bang as he stood up abruptly scraping his chair across the floor and banging it into the cabinet behind him. He came and grabbed my chair and pulled it round so I was facing him and he was towering over me.

"You will do as you are damn well told! I am sick of your attitude and your behaviour. If you don't do what I have asked I will spank you within an inch of your life and I don't care if you already had a strapping today."

I gulped and shook my head. The tears were pouring down my cheeks. Soda spoke up, alarmed at the level of Darry's anger "That's a bit extreme Darry. You can't spank her, I know how much getting the strap hurts. That would just be cruel."

Pony then put his dime's worth in, he had been watching the whole scene with wide eyes and couldn't bear the idea of Darry spanking me again. That whole thing really bothered him, "Don't Darry, I know who the others were, I can tell you."

I glared at him. I know he was trying to save my skin, but that was not the answer. It wouldn't matter to Caro and the others that it was my brother who ratted on them, they would just blame me, I was sure of it.

"Well, I'd rather it came from Rebecca, but at least it would wipe the suspension from her record in any case. Write the names for me then Pony."

"Ponyboy, don't!" I yelled, Darry then dragged me up by my arm so I was standing and leaned down so his face was level with mine.

"Go back to your room and don't come out again this evening. I will discuss with you in the morning what your punishment will be. I want you to write that letter of apology for the Principal and it had better be good."

I scuttled off to my room. At least Darry was not gonna spank me on top of the strapping, but that was small consolation when I knew that I was gonna be seen as a rat by my friends and also it upset me that Darry was so mad at me. Yet again I had let him down. It seemed to be my speciality in these past few months. I wrote the letter as best I could and then went to bed, crying myself to sleep. I had never felt so low.


	25. Chapter 25 - Suspension & making enemies

**_Thanks for all those who have reviewed, it means such a lot to get your feedback. Please do read and review again. I found this chapter really hard to write as it's sort of a fill in and a bit plotless – hope it's enough to keep your interest! I may not be updating very quickly as it's the Easter break, so I won't have much time for the next 2 weeks, but I will get another chapter out there as soon as I can. I have a few ideas for what's happening next with Matt and with Caro, so I do have more to write if anyone is still interested to follow._**

Chapter 25

**Suspension and making enemies**

The next morning Darry woke me at 6.30 and I went out to breakfast once I was showered and dressed. Pony was still in the shower and Soda was rushing around looking for his shirt. I sat down and helped myself to some scrambled eggs and toast. Darry was bustling around in the kitchen getting lunches ready.

"Morning Darry." I mumbled.

"Morning, you done that letter for Principal Roberts?" I nodded and handed him the piece of paper. I had written a full-on apology and waffled on about how wrong I had been to do such a thing and about respecting people's property etc, etc. I couldn't have grovelled more if I tried.

"Hmmm." Darry grunted "That looks ok. I hope it's good enough to get you off the hook Rebecca. Ponyboy gave me a list of names for him, that Caro girl and her friends, who I distinctly remember advising you to stay away from not so long ago." He glared at me pointedly. I didn't say anything, just stared back at him. I wasn't going to apologise for being friends with them, they were alright and I felt his judgement of them was unfair. Anyway, as soon as they realised I had ratted them out then they wouldn't want to be my friends any more. It didn't matter that it was Pony and not me who gave the names, I was sure to them it would be the same thing.

Darry went on "If Mom and Dad were here they would be really upset at this behaviour. You know how much they wanted us to be considerate and responsible, not behaving in the way that people like Principal Roberts expect from your 'typical Greaser'. This would have really got them mad, you know that don't you?"

I blushed and looked down at my plate. I felt ashamed and sad that I had done something which Mom and Dad would have hated so much. I wanted to think they would be proud of me more than anything.

"You've really gotta start bucking your ideas up Rebecca before it's too late. The first step will be keeping away from these girls. If you'd done what I said in the first place and steered clear of them all this could have been avoided. You are too easily led astray and you need to keep away from them and their crazy stunts if you wanna stay outta trouble."

"Ok Darry, I've got the message." I said sullenly. I was tired of him lecturing me and making me feel bad. I knew he had a point about Caro and the others, but I didn't need him to go on and on about it. The most annoying thing was that I _was_ usually sensible and chose not to join in with their antics, but this _one_ time that I had gone against my best instincts, of course I had been found out and now that was the only thing that Darry could focus on. I wanted to remind him of all the times that I had made the right choice. "I know it was a stupid thing to do, but it's the only time I've ever done anything like this Darry, you know it. I just made a bad choice, that's all. I said I'm sorry, I don't know what else I can do."

"Well Rebecca let this be the only time you do make such a bad choice cos you can't afford any more trouble at school. You don't wanna start high school with a bad record and be labelled as some no-good greaser, do you? You're smart, you've got such potential and you don't wanna waste it by getting dragged down by these girls, they are trouble. Anyway, about today, Soda and I are both working this morning, but I'm gonna come back and check on you in my lunchbreak." I opened my mouth to speak, but he held his hand up to stop me "And before you say there's no need, yes there is. You can't be left the whole day without any supervision. You just aren't trustworthy enough." I bit my lip to stop myself making an angry reply. I was annoyed that he said that about me, but I knew he had good grounds for saying it, so I didn't have a leg to stand on really.

"You are grounded for another 2 weeks, so you're not allowed out of the house. I am going to deliver your letter and Pony's list to Principal Roberts this morning and hopefully he will stick to his word and allow you back to school on Monday. "I have a list of cleaning jobs for you to do and I expect you to do them properly. I'm gonna talk to Principal Roberts about getting some extra work for you to catch up on what you miss these 2 days."

I rolled my eyes. As if missing 2 days work was gonna be a big deal, trust Darry to get all het up about that. "And you can drop the attitude Rebecca. I cannot tell you how angry and disappointed I am with you right now and you are lucky this is all the punishment you're getting. I am not having you missing out on school work and falling even further behind just because of your stupid behaviour yesterday. Soda will be back from work about 3.00 and you can go back to your room then until dinner time. Got it?" he looked at me waiting for an answer.

"Yes Darry, I got it." I said with some attitude and Darry gave me a stern glare. "Sorry, I got it." I said without the sass. Darry nodded, satisfied that he had got his message across.

As soon as my brothers had all left for school and work I called Tara to see how she had got on with her Mom the day before.

"Hey Tara, it's me."

"Bex, how are you doing? What did Darry say?"

"Oh boy was he mad, he still is, but at least he didn't give me a whooping this time. Even _he _realised that would have been too much on top of the strapping we got."

"Yeah, damn but that hurt didn't it?"

"Yeah, it still does don't it? I can't believe the Principal's allowed to do that! What did your Mom say?"

"She was as mad as I've ever seen her. She yelled on at me about keeping out of trouble in school and not getting a reputation. She's grounded me for the weekend and I have to clean the house and cook the dinner while I'm suspended."

"I'm grounded too, for 2 weeks and Darry has given me a list of jobs a mile long to do. He made me write an apology letter to Principal Roberts, but the worst thing is he wanted me to rat the other girls out to save the suspension going on my school record. When I refused he threatened to whoop me and Pony offered the names up instead to save me – I'd rather have had the whooping. Caro and the others are gonna hate me after this."

"Oh man, that's really not good. Maybe if we explain to them it was Ponyboy they will get over it." She said trying to encourage me, but she knew as well as I did that it wasn't in Caro's nature to be very forgiving.

"At least I still have you Tara…I do don't I?" I was suddenly worried that Tara would not want to associate with me after this.

She laughed "Of course you do, you idiot! You're my best friend and you haven't ratted me, or anyone else, out anyway. We're in this together! On the bright side, it's nice to have a whole week off school ain't it?"

"Well if Darry gets his way Principal Roberts is gonna let me go back on Monday after the letter and giving him the names of the others involved. Gosh, I hope they are suspended or I will have to face them without you, Tara."

"I guess they will be, he will relish the opportunity to get Caro for something good. I just hope he doesn't expel her."

"Oh man, you think he might? I'd never thought of that. She would absolutely never forgive me if that happens." I felt sick at the thought. I really did not wanna be in Caro's bad books. She could be pretty scary when she had it in for someone.

"Hey, you gonna try and call Matt while you've got some alone time?"

"Nah, I can't, he'll be at school." I hadn't actually given Matt more than a brief thought since yesterday, so at least this whole mess was a distraction from that if nothing else. "Hey, I'd better go. Darry's coming back to check on me at lunchtime and if I haven't done some of these jobs he's gonna skin me. I'll speak to you tomorrow?"

"Yeah, happy cleaning!" Tara joked.

I laughed "You too!"

I looked at Darry's list and decided I would make a start on cleaning the windows. First I went into my room and got Matt's record to put on while I worked. I couldn't wait to hear it again. I fetched the bucket and cloths and soap and then put the record on the player. My heart just jumped to hear his voice again after what felt like an age, though it was actually not even a week since I saw him last! It seemed like a lot had happened since last Friday. I closed my eyes and listened to the words letting myself enjoy remembering what great times we had had together. I wished I could just see him, talk to him, kiss him. When the record finished I put it on again and made a start on the windows. I listened to it through 3 more times and then put it back in my room before Darry or anyone else came back. I didn't know what they would do if they found it and I definitely didn't want it taken away from me. I got a Kinks album to listen to instead and then carried on with the windows. By the time Darry got back at lunchtime I had finished the windows, the bathroom and vacuumed the living room.

"Hey Becky, looks like you've been working pretty hard. Come have something to eat." Darry said making us some tuna salad sandwiches.

"Thanks." I said and tucked in. I was actually pretty hungry after all that housework. We ate in silence or rather I didn't say anything as I wasn't sure if Darry was still too mad to have a normal conversation with me and Darry was never much the one to chat anyway. Eventually the silence got to me though and I had to break it. "So are you still mad at me Darry?"

"A bit." He admitted. "I just want you to be the best you can be Becky and doing stuff like this is just gonna hold you back, ya know. I just never expected all this trouble from you. You were always such a good girl for Mom and Dad. You never got in any sort of trouble and you did as you were told. Now it seems like it's the complete opposite."

"I don't mean to get into trouble Darry. I'm just growing up I guess. I'm not that little girl anymore I'm a teenager. I'm gonna do some stuff I shouldn't do sometimes, not cos I wanna make trouble for you but just because I'm trying stuff out. I'm really sorry you got stuck with dealing with me."

"I didn't get stuck with you Becky, I never see it like that. If Mom and Dad can't be here then of course I wouldn't want it any other way. I wouldn't want anyone else to have the job of looking after you and bringing you up. I love ya Becky, but that doesn't mean I don't find it difficult. I ain't never brought any kids up before, I'm no expert like Mom and Dad were, but I want to try and do what they would have done and do the right thing by you. I know you think I'm too strict on ya but I'm just scared if I let you get away with stuff you'll end up in some big trouble and it'll be too late. You know in this neighbourhood it would be all too easy for you to fall in with the wrong crowd and your life could go in completely the wrong direction before you know it. And we have the added problem of Social Services always looking over our shoulder. If you go too far wrong they will not hesitate to let someone else do the job. I only get mad at you because I'm scared of getting it wrong with you and with Pony. Soda is already all grown up and he doesn't need me to parent him so much, but you and Pony do and I don't wanna let you down, or Mom and Dad."

"Well, you're not letting us down Darry. I wouldn't want anyone else to be my guardian, I honestly wouldn't, even when you do yell at me and when you punish me. I know you love me and I wish I didn't keep getting it wrong and making you mad at me. I'm sorry for making this harder for you."

"Most of the time you don't honey. But lately it's been one thing after another and you are scaring me."

I looked at Darry and his concerned face, his blue eyes were soft, not cold and hard like they could be when he was mad. I was suddenly overwhelmed with love for my big brother and thankfulness for all he had given up, just to give Pony, Soda and me a home, rather than a life in institutions. I stood up and put my arms around him. He pushed his chair back from the table and pulled me onto his lap so I was sitting sideways, to reciprocate the hug.

"I do love you Darry, even though I'm a pain in the butt half the time. I'm sorry I can't be good all the time, but I promise to try harder."

"Well, you're _my_ pain in the butt and I wouldn't have it any other way and I know you try. I can't expect you to never get it wrong, but I still have to deal with it when you muck up. I can't promise you that I won't be mad at you next time something like this happens, cos I will and it's kind of part of my job to be."

"I know Darry, you are doing a good job. I do appreciate all you do, though I don't say it very often. I don't like it when you yell at me and you punish me, but I'd rather that than you not caring about what happens to me."

"You really are growing up, you're turning out to be pretty wise – some of the time…" he smiled at me. "You're also getting pretty heavy." He said pushing me off his lap with a grin.

"Hey! You saying I'm fat?!" I said indignantly.

Darry laughed "Just kidding. I need to get up and go back to work. Please behave yourself for the rest of the afternoon if you can manage that." Darry raised his eyebrows at me.

"Well, I will try my best." I smiled. I was glad that Darry and I had had this conversation and I hoped that he realised I was just growing up and that it was nothing personal when I pushed the boundaries like I had been. I understood a bit more why he got so mad at me when I went and did stupid things and got in trouble at school and stuff. He was just scared I was gonna end up like Angela Shepherd or Caro's sister, Beverly. Well, I didn't wanna end up like that either. I was gonna try harder to make the right choices.

The only thing I couldn't compromise on was Matt. I still couldn't stick to Darry's rules about him and I couldn't see how that would put me in danger of being a 'no-good greaser' as Darry put it, anyway. In fact I reasoned with myself that it was quite the opposite since Matt was a soc, surely it could only do me good to be with him. Of course, I was choosing not to acknowledge the age factor in my reasoning, but when you're trying to justify something you've been told not to do, being totally honest with yourself is not always helpful.

I spent the rest of the afternoon sorting the laundry. When Soda and Pony got home at 3.00 I was sitting watching Bewitched on the TV.

"Hard at work I see." Soda grinned.

I stuck my tongue out at him "Give me a break Soda, I've been working my socks off all day getting this house clean and tidy. I only sat down just now."

"Well, you'd better go to your room Baby. I don't think Darry would be happy with me if I let you stay out here and watch TV."

"Soda, can't I just watch the end of this?" I whined and looked at him with big eyes, trying to exploit his soft heart.

"Nice try Bex, but no. For once you can't con me into getting your way. Darry gave me strict instructions to make sure you went to your room when we got home."

I huffed and got up to turn the TV off then stomped into my room slamming the door.

"Well, that went well." I heard Ponyboy say to Soda.

"She thinks I'm a softie, but not this time." He replied.

"Yeah well, she has pretty much got you wrapped around her little finger most of the time. You're a sucker for her wide-eyed look normally." Pony said and I could hear Soda and him get into a wrestling match. Pony was right, most of the time Soda was pretty much putty in my hands, but right now he was obviously trying to be tough and follow Darry's instructions. I preferred the old Soda.

I took the opportunity of being alone to write another letter to Matt explaining to him all that had gone on. The prank with the Principal's car, getting caught, the punishment, Darry's response, having to rat on Tara and the others and all that that would entail for me when I went back to school. A lot had happened in the past couple of days and I filled 4 sides of paper. I also told him how much I missed him and wished I could call and hear his voice.

Darry came home around 5.30 and Soda had made us hotdogs for dinner, so I was called out of my room to come and eat.

"I went by the school on my way home and picked up a pile of schoolwork for you Becky." Darry told me, as we sat down to eat.

I tried not to roll my eyes, but it was quite an effort. "Gee thanks." I said not able to hide the sarcasm.

Darry gave me a warning look "You_ should_ be thanking me, you have exams coming up in the next couple of weeks, you can't afford to be missing out on work now. Principal Roberts says you can come back on Monday and he has wiped the suspension from your record, you'll be pleased to know."

"Ok, do you know what happened to Caro and the others?" I asked nervously.

"No, I don't know." Said Darry.

"I heard that Caro got expelled." Said Pony "News like that travels fast across the campus. I think the others were just suspended."

"Great." I groaned. "You realise that Caro is never gonna forgive me for this and she'll probably beat me up the first chance she gets."

Ponyboy looked guilty and Darry just shrugged. "She won't. She'll be at another school and you won't even see her." He said.

"She'll find a way if she's mad enough." I said with some certainty. She would probably wait around for me after school or catch me at the drive-in or the Dingo or somewhere. I was sure that she wouldn't just let this lie.

"Well, just make sure you don't go wondering around on your own for a while." Said Soda with some concern. "Make sure one of us or one of the gang is with you."

I rolled my eyes. "Great, even less freedom than normal," I complained.

"Well, you do bring these things on yourself Rebecca." Darry remarked, not too impressed by my whining.

"Hardly, it's just because Pony ratted those girls out, this ain't nothing _I_ did." I snapped.

"Rebecca, Ponyboy only did that because he had to and it was the best thing to do. Your school record is gonna be there forever, these girls won't be." Darry said sternly.

I sighed and looked down at my plate. I didn't feel very hungry any more. I couldn't believe I had managed to get into this situation. The last person I wanted to be on the wrong side of was Caroline Brook.

"It'll be ok Bex." Soda tried to reassure me.

"Can I be excused? I don't want any more." I asked.

"Ok, you can go and make a start on that work." Darry said.

I groaned and picked up the pile of papers that he had collected for me heading off to my room. I reluctantly started on my English. About 7.00 there was a knock at my door."Come in!" I called.

Ponyboy walked in looking nervous, probably wondering what sort of reception he would get from me, seeing as he had inadvertently caused the problem with Caro. "Hey Bex."

"What do you want?" I said gruffly.

"Look, I just wanted to say I'm really sorry for getting you into this mess. I just didn't want Darry to spank you last night when you were already in so much pain from the strapping. I just couldn't bear to see him go through with that. Anyway, it is good that you got your record wiped ain't it?"

"Yeah, just great. Pony she is gonna be so mad at me and she has every right to be mad. She's been expelled! That's a big thing. She's gotta find another school, make new friends and everything."

"That ain't your fault. I reckon Principal Roberts would have hauled her in anyway. He must have known she was behind it. It was all her idea, so she only has herself to blame."

"Yeah, I'm sure she'll see it that way." I said sarcastically.

"She probably doesn't know how he got the information anyway. She may not know where he got her name from."

"I am sure she does. Especially when she finds out I've gone back to school on Monday. She's gonna put 2 and 2 together and realise that I apparently traded her in for a shorter suspension."

"None of this was your choice, you just have to explain that to her."

"If you knew her you would know she is not one to listen to reason. She will just want my head on a platter." I sighed.

"Are you mad at me?"

"Well, I know you didn't mean for this to happen, but I did tell you not to give Darry the names…"

"I had to do it Becky, for your sake." Pony pleaded with me. "I'm sorry alright?"

I shrugged and turned back to my work. I wasn't really all that mad at Pony any more, but I didn't have it in me at that moment to tell him I forgave him either. I was too wound up and anxious about what would happen when I next saw Caro. Pony sighed and went turned to go out. I knew he felt bad.

"Hang on a minute Pony. You could do me a favour to make up for it.." I said, suddenly thinking of a way to get my latest letter to Matt in the mail, seeing as I wouldn't be seeing Tara.

"What?" Pony asked suspiciously.

"Can you mail this letter for me? but don't let anyone else see you." I handed him the letter and he glanced at the address on the envelope.

"For Matt? I thought you weren't meant to be in touch with him?"

"Well, that's why I don't want you to let anyone else see." I rolled my eyes.

He hesitated then put the letter in his jean pocket. "Ok. If anyone finds out then Darry will be mad at both of us you know that?"

"Of course I know that. He's always mad at me anyway, so it won't make much difference, anyhow he's not gonna find out. I'm sure you can manage to mail it without anybody knowing, you're brighter than you look." I smiled.

He stuck his tongue out at me. "I'll do my best. Does that mean you forgive me?"

"I suppose so. I'd better get on with this work or Darry will be in to yell at me again."

Pony went out and shut the door. I managed to finish more than half of my work and Darry was pleased with me when he came in at 9.30 to tell me to get ready for bed. I went to bed thinking about Caro and tried to move my thoughts onto something less scary so that I could sleep. I thought about Matt and hoped that soon I would get another letter from him. But thinking about Matt just made me feel worse. I went to sleep around 1am and didn't really sleep well all night.

I couldn't believe it was already morning when Darry woke me up the next day at 6.30. It felt like I had only just closed my eyes. It didn't help that it was such a grey and cloudy outside, which didn't exactly inspire me to get out of bed. I groaned and rolled back over, hoping Darry may leave me for another 10 minutes as I didn't have to go to school. Of course, that wasn't gonna happen. Soda came in and started tickling me mercilessly until I hollered Uncle and got out of bed, glaring at him as I went off to the bathroom, leaving him grinning inanely.

Darry informed me that he would be back at lunchtime like the day before and to clean the kitchen and then get on with the rest of my schoolwork. What a fun morning I had ahead of me! I did the washing up, cleaned the kitchen sides then mopped the floor and then figured I deserved a bit of a break, so I put the record on again and lay back on the sofa closing my eyes as I listened to Matt's voice. I was so tired that I must have been asleep in seconds. The next thing I knew the screen door was slamming shut and Darry was standing there giving me a stern look. I jolted awake and sat up. Surely it wasn't lunchtime already. The stylus on the record player was jumping and crackling as it had reached the end of the record.

"Hey Bex, taking a break?" Darry said sarcastically going over to the record player to remove the stylus from the record.

"I just sat down for a minute and must have dropped off. I didn't sleep well last night." I explained. "Is it lunchtime already?"

"No, it's only 10.30, it's raining." Darry said indicating through the window to the rain coming down in sheets. "So we had to stop the job. What on earth is this you're listening to?" he asked looking at the record. All it said on it was 'Song for Becky'.

"Oh, it's just a record someone lent me." I lied.

"Song for Becky?" Darry asked looking confused. "Who's it by?"

I didn't know whether to try and make something up and risk him catching me in a lie or to tell him the truth and risk him taking it away from me. "Well, actually it's by Matt."

"Matt? As in Matt Carter?" Darry said gruffly.

"Yeah, it's a song he wrote for me. He gave it to me at Christmas." I blushed.

Darry didn't look pleased. "I think you'd better not listen to this anymore."

"What? Why? What could possibly happen just by listening to that?" I demanded.

"It is not helping you move on and get over Matt if you are constantly hearing his voice and being reminded about him is it? I'll keep this out of your sight for a few months and then you can have it back again when things are less raw. It's just to help you."

"Darry please just let me keep it. He wrote it for me and I really want to be able to listen to it. It's special." I pleaded.

"I'm sure it is, but it will still be special in a few months time, but then it just won't be keeping you thinking about something that cannot be. I think it's best to go cold turkey on Matt just to help you get over him more quickly."

"Cold turkey? He's not some kind of drug Darry, he's a person, my friend, and I don't want to get over him quickly. I want to remember him and think about him."

"That's the problem Bex. It isn't helping you to dwell on him like that. There's no future for you so it's pointless. I think you will feel less sad if you don't have any contact at all."

"Well, you're wrong. It just makes me even more sad." I spat back at him, so angry at his clinical assessment of things. Matt was my friend above all and pretending he didn't exist was not the best for me to deal with him being across the other side of the country and not a good way to deal with me not being allowed to be with him. It just made everything ten times more painful. I couldn't face another big blow up with Darry. I felt defeated right now and just slumped my head forward into my hands. Darry came over to sit by me on the couch and rubbed my back with his hand.

"I'm sorry Becky, I know it's hard for you, but I'm trying to do what I think is best. I promise you I will give the record back in a couple of months." He said gently. I didn't say anything, just sighed.

"I'd better go and do some more of that work I guess." I said and went off to my room, leaving Darry sitting on the couch looking concerned.

I pulled out my math book and got down to some quadratic equations, which were a great distraction from everything. After that I only had one more history essay to write and I was done with all the work Darry brought home. That would please him at least. At least this time we hadn't yelled at each other. I know he was trying to be reasonable, but I hated that he was so entrenched against Matt and there was no winning once we got onto that subject. It was so frustrating.

When Pony got home from school he came to see me. He assured me that he had posted my letter for me and I was over the moon when he handed me one from Matt, which Tara's sister had passed onto him at school. It certainly cheered my whole day up to get his news and to know that he had been thinking of me too. He had written a long letter describing his new house and the nearby beach in detail. His new school was from all accounts very strict, but he had made a few friends already and had joined the track team. He said he missed me and wished he could call. He had got my first letter and was looking forward to hearing about how the prank we were going to play on the Principal went – well, my other letter would soon be there with all the gory details about that! I read Matt's letter through 3 times and then put it under my mattress along with his postcard, so that Darry wouldn't find it. I felt a million times happier than I had before Pony got home, but the letter also made me yearn to see him and hear his voice! I just had to find a way to call him and soon.


	26. Chapter 26 - Revision and Reconciliation

**_Thanks for all those who read and reviewed the last chapter. I love to get your feedback! Sorry for not much action the past couple of chapters, just lots of small talk between the characters! I have plans for more excitement, but everything has to go in a certain order, so please bear with me. I quite enjoy writing just the everyday interaction between the characters, so I hope you are enjoying reading it, despite the lack of exciting plot at the moment! Please read and review again! _**

Chapter 26

**Revision and reconciliation**

The weekend was slow and boring. I wasn't allowed out of my room for most of the time, though I managed to sneak out for a while on Saturday evening when the gang came round for the usual Poker and beer. Two-Bit couldn't get over the fact that I had been involved in the prank on the Principal's car. It was just the kind of thing he would have done himself, although he probably wouldn't have got caught. I think he was secretly a bit proud of me for being daring for once.

"Bexster, I would never have believed you would do something like that. Sodapop, yes, but sweet innocent Rebecca? If you're gonna take your teenage rebellion that far you'd better start getting better at not getting caught. At this rate you ain't gonna be leaving the house at all till you're 20 and all Darry's hair will have fallen out with the stress by then." He grinned.

"Funny." I said trying not to smile. "It wasn't my idea actually, but you're right, I do need to get better at not being caught. Though with all you guys on my case the whole time I can never get away with anything can I?"

"Which is a good thing." Soda said with a stern look. "You don't need to get better at not getting caught, you just need to stop doing stuff that will get you into trouble."

"Well, I'd better not follow in your footsteps then, had I Sodapop? " I retorted. He had always been in trouble at school so who was he to start telling me to avoid it?

"I ain't saying I'm a good example to follow Becky, but maybe my experience can show you what not to do. Do you really wanna be like me and have a revolving door to the Principal's office?"

I shrugged annoyed that Two-Bit's teasing had turned into a lecture from Soda.

"Chill out man." Said Steve elbowing Soda in the ribs and I shot him a grateful smile, though I think he was mainly motivated by wanting to get on with the game of Poker than by defending me.

"Don't worry Bexster, I can give you some good tips on how not to get caught, you just need to learn from the master." He said putting his arm around my shoulders. I shrugged him off and gave him a punch in the stomach, which I'm sure he barely felt.

"Don't encourage her Two-Bit." said Soda rolling his eyes as Two-Bit easily grabbed me and threw me upside down holding me by the ankles while I squealed and tried to wriggle out of his grasp.

"Put me down Two-Bit!" I flailed my fists against his legs.

"Nah, you can't go round punching innocent men and expect to get away with it. It's fun having you at my mercy." Steve, Soda and Pony were all laughing by now.

"Two-Bit, all the blood's running to my head, put me down! Soda, help me will ya!" It really was a pain being so much smaller than all the guys, they could basically throw me around like a ragdoll without even breaking out in a sweat.

"Put her down Two-Bit!" Darry said coming back into the living room having heard all the commotion. He had gone off to his room for a bit of peace and quiet an hour ago. Two-Bit obediently put me down, still laughing. I scowled at him and gave him a shove before straightening out my clothes and hair. It was only then that I noticed that Darry was glaring at me with his eyebrows raised and I remembered I was supposed to be in my room.

"Ok, ok, I'm going." I said before he had the chance to tell me and went off to my room to spend another thrilling evening reading and listening to the radio on my own. I didn't even have any homework left to keep me busy.

I went back to school on Monday with some trepidation, worried that Melanie, Susie or Trish may not have been suspended after all and would be lying in wait to pay me back for ratting them out. My fears were unfounded though, they were not there and were not due back till the following Friday. I was still worried that Caro may be planning to turn up outside school and let me have it. I was thankful that Steve was going to be picking me up and taking me to the DX after school. I had my own set of personal bodyguards all lined up, as long as I timed things right in coming out of school.

Classes were hard going, all we were doing was revision, revision, revision, ready for next week's exams. My head felt fit to explode by the time I went out to the parking lot at the end of the day. I dawdled in the hallways to make sure I was out there after Steve and not left waiting, just in case Caro _was_ there. She wasn't and I was glad to see Steve standing by his car with his arms folded.

"You took your time there Becky, come on I have to get to work." He growled.

"Sorry, I got held up." I lied, not wanting to tell him I was slightly late on purpose. He didn't look in a very good mood. We drove to the DX pretty much in silence and I went straight in the back office to get on with my exam revision, grabbing a Pepsi and a bag of chips from Soda on my way through. I gave Tara a quick call while I was in there to see how her suspension was going. She was bored out of her mind and sick of housework. She couldn't wait to get back to school on Thursday and I couldn't wait to see her either. At least we would have one day before the others came back and then I wasn't sure what kind of atmosphere there would be after that. I hoped they would be more forgiving than Caro was probably gonna be.

I begged Darry to let me out in the living room that evening to watch TV, claiming that my brain was gonna explode if I had to do any more revision. Darry stuck to his guns though and I spent another tedious evening in my room. I hoped this would be the last time I would be grounded for a long time cos I had really had enough of being cooped up in my tiny room the whole time. It seemed like this had been going on for months now, with just a few days of freedom in-between when I wasn't being punished for something!

The rest of the week went by slowly. There had been no sign of Caro yet, so that was one good thing. All week I had been really looking forward to the first gymnastics practice on Thursday after school, the one good thing on the horizon. Two-Bit had been assigned to wait around and pick me up and Ponyboy, who also had track that evening. Two-Bit never complained about all the running around he did for us, I think he actually quite enjoyed being needed. Of course he also got to hang out with all the girls who stayed around to watch the track practice, so that was a definite added perk of the job!

"You ready to roll?" he asked me as I came out of the girls changing rooms.

"Yeah." I said putting my bag over my shoulder.

"How was it?" asked Ponyboy. "Did you have fun?"

"Yeah, I really love it. I wish it wasn't only on 12 weeks of the year." I gushed not able to keep the grin off my face.

Pony smiled. I know he understood the passion I shared with him for sports. He loved track and the challenge of beating his own time and pushing himself. In the same way I loved pushing my body to its limits and trying to gain control and strength to perform ever more complicated routines. It was such an adrenaline rush. Two-Bit who never did any exercise if he could help it could never understand our enthusiasm for physical pursuits.

"You guys are crazy. Wouldn't you rather just watch? It's a lot less painful." he asked with genuine incredulity. Pony and I both laughed.

Tara had been back at school that day, which had made the day go a lot faster. It was so good to have her back in class with me. I gave her all my notes so that she could catch up on all the revision we'd been doing. Monday was the start of our exams and we were both dreading it. She called me that evening with a question about my trigonometry notes.

"I really am not getting it." She groaned. "Why do we even need to know all this stuff anyway? When am I ever gonna need to use this in real life unless I become a math teacher and I definitely have no plans to do that I can tell you!"

I laughed. "I wish we could study together, it would make it so much less painful. I'll ask Darry and see if he'll let you come over to study. I know I'm still grounded but he may relent if he thinks it's gonna help me pass my exams."

"I would love that! Please ask him. Tell him I need you to help me or I'm gonna fail." She said sounding desperate.

"You're not gonna fail Tara, but I will ask. If I catch Darry at the right moment and if Soda backs me up then we may get lucky."

"See you tomorrow then." Said Tara

"Oh don't remind me about tomorrow, Trish, Melanie and Susie will be back. I don't know what they are going to say, or do, to me."

"They may not say anything Bex. I will back you up and explain to them you had nothing to do with it. I think they'll listen to reason."

"I'm not so sure."

"Don't worry, it will be fine."

"See ya tomorrow Tara." I felt really anxious as I was reminded of having to face those girls the next day. At least they probably wouldn't get the chance to try anything in school and as I was always accompanied by one big brother figure or another before and after school, then I would probably be safe from physical attack, but I knew they could be mean to me anyway and I was scared.

At dinner Soda noticed I was looking a bit down. "What's up Bex? You seem a bit quiet."

"Well, Trish, Melanie and Susie are all due back at school tomorrow and I'm not sure how they're gonna treat me. I think they're gonna be mad and mean." I explained absent mindedly dipping a piece of bread into my chicken soup.

"Oh, I see. Hey maybe they won't be as bad as you think. They ain't gonna try and fight you in school or they'll just be suspended again anyway. Out of school you just make sure you stick with one of us or the gang and you'll be fine."

"I guess." I said, still not convinced they couldn't find a way to corner me at school if that's what they really wanted. Anyway, what I was dreading more was the cold shoulder and the mean words. I had really started to get to know and like them all and I would be sad if they wanted nothing more to do with me because of something that was totally out of my control.

"Just be sensible about not going about on your own and you will be ok. "Said Darry firmly.

I sighed. They seemed to think it was not going to be a problem, but deep down I knew differently and they weren't the ones who were going to have to put up with it at school every day. "Hey Darry, can Tara come over tomorrow and at the weekend to do some revision with me?" I asked changing the subject for something less depressing.

"You know you're grounded." He said gruffly.

"I know, but we would only be studying. I think it would really help both of us to have a study partner. It's really hard to keep at it when you're on your own. Please Darry, it will help with our exams." I pleaded and tried the wide-eyed look out on Darry. It didn't usually work with him, but it was worth a try.

"Oh go on Darry, let her. You know it's easier studying with someone else, she'll do even better on her exams that way." Soda took up for me and I smiled at him. I had been hoping this was how things would go.

Darry grunted and grudgingly said "Ok Becky, but you can study at the table, not in your room. It's not gonna be a gossip session. You are both gonna study hard or Tara goes straight back home."

"Of course Darry!" I exclaimed happily. "Thank you!" this would make the whole revision thing so much less arduous and more fun, even if we would be under Darry's watchful eye.

I was really nervous on the way to school the next morning. Two-Bit noticed and tried to make a joke out if it.

"Hey Bexster, what's got you all tensed up this morning? Don't let my natural good looks scare ya like that, I don't mind you staring."

Pony couldn't resist a come-back for that one "Hate to tell ya Two-Bit that ain't why she's staring and there ain't nothing natural about you!"

Tara and I laughed and Two-Bit smacked Pony on the back of his head making him yelp "Ow!"

"Don't get mouthy with me Ponyboy, you're just jealous is all. Seriously Bex, what's going on with you?"

"Trish, Melanie and Susie are coming back to school today and they ain't gonna be too happy with me cos they think I ratted them out. I'm just not looking forward to facing them, that's all." I explained.

"Don't you worry Bex, they won't hurt ya and I'm picking you up after school today, so I'll meet you right at the door if ya like?"

"Thanks Two-Bit, I would really appreciate that."

"See, I told ya she couldn't resist my good looks."

"Two-Bit!" I groaned.

He went into a fit of hysterics then said "I mean it though Bexster, I won't let anything happen to ya, ok?" I nodded at him in the mirror and he gave me a reassuring grin.

Our first class was math and I got my first taste of what it was gonna be like, as Melanie, Susie and Trish pushed roughly past me to get in the door of the classroom, Trish hissing "Traitor!" at me as she went by. I blushed and felt like crying, wishing for the chance to explain and make things right. Straight after that was History and I had to endure another lesson of glares and hand gestures and Trish, who seemed to have taken over as leader of their little gang in Caro's absence, threw me a note saying they would wait for me in the girl's bathroom at recess. My heart accelerated in fear and I felt sick. What were they gonna do to me? I had to meet them though, cos I wanted to explain what had really happened. I was just praying they would listen and they would believe me before they started pounding on me.

I showed Tara the note and she gave me a sympathetic look. "Of course I'll come with ya." She said. "Maybe you should let me go ahead of you and try to explain. They might just be too mad to listen to you."

"Thanks Tara, I don't know what I'd do without you." I said relieved to have some moral support. We ventured into the girl's bathroom to be met by the angry looking threesome. Tara went in front of me and held her hands up as if in surrender.

"Hey you guys, let me just tell you something before you start on Bex ok?"

"There ain't nothing you can say to take away the fact that she betrayed us. It's her fault that Caro has been kicked out of the school." Trish said through gritted teeth, clenching and unclenching her fists.

"Just hear me out first, please." Tara said. "Becky did not rat you out. I know it looks bad cos she was let off the suspension early and that, but it wasn't her who gave your names to the principal, it was her brother Ponyboy and he only did it to stop her getting into more trouble at home. He didn't know what was gonna happen to you guys or Caro, he was just thinking of his little sister."

"I don't believe you." Trish said coldly.

"It's true." I said in a high pleading voice, desperate to convince her of my innocence. "Remember he was there when we were talking about it on the bleachers? When I wouldn't tell Darry Ponyboy told him instead, cos Darry was threatening to whoop me."

Trish looked like she was listening at least. "Why didn't you stop him?" she demanded.

"I couldn't stop him Trish, I wanted to, but there was nothing I could do. He wrote your names down, gave them to Darry and then Darry gave them to Principal Roberts. I'm so sorry you all got into trouble and especially that Caro got expelled. I really am sorry." I was close to tears by now.

Reluctantly Trish and the others seemed to back down. "I think she's telling the truth, it wasn't really her fault." Melanie said.

"Thanks Mel." I smiled gratefully at her. "What's happening with Caro?"

"She has to go to the middle school across town for this last term. She is not happy." Trish, Mel and Susie gave each other meaningful looks, which made it clear that was an understatement. "We'll put in a good word for you Becky, but we can't guarantee that she'll forgive you." Trish said bluntly and I knew she was right.

"Well, if you see her before I do, will you explain? I don't think she'll want to listen to me. Thank you for giving me a chance to explain. I would hate it if you thought I had ratted on you. I never would, ya know."

"We know." Said Susie. "We'd better get to class, it's English next, we don't wanna give Miss Haswell an excuse to get mad at us."

"Let's have lunch together." Said Tara, testing the ground to see if they really had forgiven me and were still prepared to hang out with us.

"Ok." Said Trish warily. "We'll meet you at the bleachers after Biology."

We hurried off to English and I almost had a spring in my step. I felt better now that the first confrontation was out of the way. I knew it would be worse when I eventually saw Caro, but at least the others had been prepared to listen and put it behind us. It was a real weight off my mind. I linked arms with Tara and she gave me a squeeze.

"See?" she said "That wasn't so bad was it?"

I shook my head in agreement "No, they were less angry than I thought they'd be and at least they can pave the way for me with Caro."

The rest of the day went smoothly and Two-Bit met me and Tara on the steps by the exit to the parking lot.

"Hello ladies. You manage to avoid the wrath of those girls then? No black eyes, no broken limbs?" He said pretending to check me over.

"They've forgiven me, so it's just Caro left to face now." I said with a smile.

"Glad to hear it Bex, see you were worrying about nothing? Don't worry about Caro. You've got the whole gang looking out for you, she won't dare do anything with us around."

"It'd be nice if I could get away from my bodyguards once in a while." I said with a grimace as we walked to Two-Bit's car. He slung his arm over my shoulder.

"Ah well, Darry is not likely to agree to that for now is he? You're still under house arrest anyway ain't ya?"

"Yeah, another week to go."

"He never lets you out alone anyway." Said Tara.

I huffed angrily "Tell me about it. Anyone would think I was 3 instead of nearly 13!"

"13, oooh, getting old there Bexster." Two-Bit said sarcastically. He and the others would never think of me as anything but a little kid. It wasn't fair that I could never catch up with them!

"Hey, it's only a few weeks till your birthday ain't it?" Tara said, suddenly realising. "We'll have to do something to celebrate you becoming a bonafide teenager won't we?"

"As long as it's nothing that Darry will object to…that doesn't leave much scope though." I moaned. I didn't feel too much like celebrating my birthday this year anyway. It would just make me miss Matt even more him not being there to help me celebrate. The first thing I was gonna do next week when I was no longer grounded was call him from Tara's house. I would write a letter that evening telling him to be sure to be in that Monday so he didn't miss my call.

Two-Bit dropped Tara and me off at my place and we set ourselves up on the kitchen table with chocolate cake and Pepsi's to start in on our revision. It was so much better studying together and while Darry was not around we also managed to fit in a bit of gossip. Tara was bemoaning the lack of men in her life since Carl and I was bemoaning the fact that Matt had not replied to my latest letter yet. So it had only been a few days, but if he was missing me wouldn't he write me straight back again? Maybe he was moving on with his new life and didn't need me anymore. When Soda came in around 4.30 we focussed back on our math revision.

"Hey girls, hard at work?" he grinned, ruffling my hair as he went by me.

"Trying to be." I said glaring at him and smoothing my hair down.

"Well, you know where to come if you need any help with them there quadrilateral equations." He said, trying to sound smart.

"You mean quadratic equations." I laughed.

"That's the ones." He grinned. "What's for dinner Bex?"

"I dunno, I've been busy revising, I thought it was Pony's turn to cook."

"Where is he?"

"Not back yet from Track practice." Just then Pony walked in slamming the screen door behind him and dumping his gym bag on the floor.

"Speak of the devil…" said Soda. "Whatcha making for dinner Pone?"

"Give me a chance, I only just walked in the door. I need to take a shower, then I'll think about dinner."

"Ok, but not pasta and tomato sauce, please." Soda pleaded.

Pony rolled his eyes and ignored Soda, heading straight for the bathroom to clean up leaving the rest of us laughing at his expense.

"I'd better get home. Mom will be back soon and she's been on my case about helping out more ever since the suspension." Tara said, packing her books up.

"Now, don't be scared off by Pony's cooking, I'll make sure it's edible." Soda joked.

"I don't think it's very reassuring to know you're gonna help with the cooking Soda." I grinned. "Your weird concoctions are enough to make anyone swear off food altogether."

"Enough of your cheek." Soda said coming up behind me and tickling my sides.

"Get off!" I squealed trying to wriggle out of his grasp.

"Not till you say you're sorry for criticising the culinary genius." He said continuing to prod me mercilessly.

"Ok, I'm sorry Soda." I said with tears of laughter running down my cheeks.

"That's better." He smacked me gently on the back of the head.

"I'd better go anyway." Said Tara who had been watching the whole thing with amusement.

"Ok, do you wanna come and study tomorrow?"

"Sounds good. I'll be round after lunch, about 2.00?"

"Great, see you then. Bye Tara."

"See ya Bex, bye Soda." She called, heading out the door.

"Bye Tara, be good." Soda had been slightly protective of Tara since finding her drunk after Matt's party. He felt she had too much freedom and was in danger of going off the rails without the settling influence of my family. Poor girl, if we were her settling influence there wasn't much hope for her! I knew she was fine anyway. It's not like she went out drinking on a regular basis, she just seized the moment when it arose that's all.

Pony surprised us by making tacos with leftover chicken and beans which were in the refrigerator. It was pretty good actually. That weekend Tara and I spent each afternoon studying hard. We had 3 exams on Monday; Math, Biology and Spanish, so we focused on those. Darry took pity on me on Sunday evening, as I must have looked so exhausted from all the studying.

"Hey Becky." He called after me as I was about to trudge off to my room after dinner.

"Yeah?" I said warily, expecting him to tell me I had to do the dishes or something, even though it was not my turn.

"Why don't you come watch some TV for a bit before bed. I think you've earned it with all that studying you've been doing. You need to give your brain a break before you go to sleep."

I smiled at my big brother "Thanks Darry!" I said enthusiastically and went to sit next to Pony on the couch, putting my feet on his leg.

"Get off!" he said roughly pushing them off his lap, so I curled my legs under me instead, glaring at Pony for being so mean. He didn't care though and just glared back at me. I zoned out watching some quiz show while Soda, Steve and Two-bit goofed around throwing playing cards at each other and arm wrestling.

"Bex, time for bed now." Said Darry. I looked at my watch, it was only 9.00.

"It's early." I complained.

"Yeah, you need extra sleep tonight so your brain is fresh for your exams tomorrow, so I want you in bed early."

"Just another half an hour." I begged.

"Don't push it Bex, you ain't meant to be out here anyway. Go on to the bathroom and get ready. I'll come check on you in a bit." I huffed and went off towards the bathroom.

"Don't worry Darry, I'll tuck her in and read her a story tonight." Said Two-Bit and Steve and Soda joined in his laughter. He really knew how to wind me up and make me mad.

"Shutup Two-Bit. I ain't a little kid." I knew I should rise above it and not give him the satisfaction of being bothered but I couldn't help it.

"You look pretty small to me." He said knowing I hated any reference to how short I was. I growled at him and turned to come back into the living room and give him what for, but Darry stopped me.

"Don't even think about it Becky, just ignore him and go get ready for bed. Two-Bit, shut it!"

I stomped off to the bathroom and slammed the door listening to Two-bit still cackling. He could be so irritating! Despite my protests at being sent to bed early I was actually pretty exhausted after all that revision. I was almost asleep already when Darry came in to kiss me goodnight about 15 minutes later. I was dreading tomorrow's exams, but my tiredness overcame me and I slept very well in spite of it.


	27. Chapter 27 - Exams, payback & the nurse

**Chapter 27**

**_Sorry for the delay in getting this chapter out, things have been hectic around here. This is a mega long chapter to make up for the wait, hope it's not too long! I couldn't see a good point to make a break and wanted to get what I had written on-line since it's been a while! Hope you enjoy it, please read and review._**

**Exams, payback and the nurse**

I woke up the next morning before being rudely awakened by one of my brothers, which should have made for a pleasant start to the day, but I was anxious about the day of exams ahead and that made me short-tempered. Once I was showered and dressed I sat down at the kitchen table for breakfast.

"I made your favourite, French toast." Said Darry cheerfully, trying to lighten my mood. He knew how I got about exams.

"I'm not hungry." I grouched ungratefully.

"You have to eat Becky or you won't be able to think for your exams."

"I feel nauseous." I complained.

"Well, try and eat something, I'm sure you'll feel better if you do." He encouraged me.

I grunted and put a piece of French toast on my plate, drizzling syrup on top. I cut a small piece off and shoved it in my mouth. Darry looked pleased despite the glare I gave him. I wasn't meaning to be mean to him and he knew it. I just always got like this whenever I had exams, that's just how my nerves came out. I managed to eat most of my breakfast and Darry was positively beaming when I took my plate to the sink.

"Good girl." He said, patting me on the back gently. I rolled my eyes, always hating to be referred to that way. I thought it either made me sound like a 5 year old or a dog, I couldn't decide which was worse. "You got all your stuff together for this morning?"

I nodded "I just need to grab my bag from my room."

"Go ahead then. Two-Bit will be here in a minute and you don't wanna be late today."

I moped off to my room and grabbed my bag. I heard Two-Bit's car horn beeping as I came back out of my room and headed for the door.

"Hold on!" Darry yelled. He came over and gave me a hug and a kiss on the cheek. "Good luck Becky, you'll do fine with all that studying you've been doing. Just do your best ok Honey and don't worry."

"Thanks Darry." I mumbled. "Don't work too hard today." Darry smiled at that, I knew he always did work too hard, but that's just the way he was.

When I got into Two-Bit's car Tara grinned at me. I couldn't see what she had to be so happy about. She had 3 exams that day, same as me. "Why you looking so happy?" I asked her grumpily.

"Oh, nothing, just pleased to see you is all." She said pointedly looking towards Two-Bit and Pony in the front and putting her finger on her lips as she produced an envelope from her bag. It was another letter from Matt and all of sudden my day felt a lot less gloomy. I couldn't open it there in the car in case Pony or Two-Bit noticed so I slipped it into my bag. I decided I would open it at lunchtime, after my first 2 exams, otherwise I would be far too distracted to think. It would give me something to look forward to in an otherwise depressing day.

"Thanks." I mouthed to Tara with a huge grin on my face. She squeezed my hand in answer, knowing how desperately I had been awaiting Matt's next letter.

Our first exam was Math and I was glad it was one of my favourite subjects first. At least it should be an encouraging start. I whizzed through the paper and found it pretty easy. We had been given an hour and a half and I finished in well under an hour and left as soon as we were allowed to sit outside in the fresh air for a bit. I took the chance to look through my Spanish verbs. I quite liked Spanish, but it didn't come easy to me like Math did. Tara came and found me once she had finished.

"Man, that was awful!" she groaned. Math was really not her favourite subject and she really struggled to remember it all. I smiled sympathetically at her, I understood how she felt as I had the same feeling about English. I obviously didn't say that I had found the paper easy, that would have just been rubbing salt in the wound.

"Ready for Spanish next?" I asked.

"Not really, but we don't have much choice do we?!"

"It'll be fine. You know all the verb endings and as long as there is a restaurant dialogue to write, which there always is, then we'll be fine. We practiced that over and over at the weekend right?"

"Well, let's hope it's better than that Math paper, that's all I can say!"

We headed into the Spanish classroom for our next exam and the next hour and a half flew by. I was pleased to find there was a whole section about writing a role play between a waitress and a customer in a restaurant. Exactly what we had practiced, as well as some multiple choice questions where you had to choose the correct verb endings. It was all the stuff we had practiced except for one section where we had to translate a newspaper article from Spanish to English, but even that seemed pretty straightforward unless I had got totally the wrong end of the stick. So far I could not have been happier with how the exams were going and started to think that maybe Darry was right and it would all be fine.

"Well, that was a gift wasn't it?" Tara exclaimed as we headed outside for lunch.

"Yeah, we could not have a written a better paper for ourselves could we?" I laughed.

"You know, we make pretty darn great study partners, that's what it is!"

"Sure do."

"So, you gonna open that letter now? It must have been burning a hole in your bag all morning!" Tara was almost as keen as I was to find out what Matt had to say.

"Sure, let's just find somewhere quiet to sit and eat." We made our way across the playing field and sat under a tree. It was an unusually warm day for the end of January and it was the perfect temperature for being outside, almost spring like. I leaned my back against the tree trunk and then got the letter out of the bag eagerly ripping it open to get a sight of Matt's handwriting and to get his latest news.

It was a long, chatty letter. Matt had been horrified to hear about us getting caught, strapped and suspended for our prank on the Principal's car. He wished me luck in my exams and said he knew I would do well cos I was so smart. In fact there was a whole list of compliments about me, which I held back on sharing with Tara in case she felt the need to vomit. To me it was incredibly sweet and lovely of course, but I was sure to anyone else reading ad nauseum about how wonderful I was it may be just a bit too much to take! He talked a lot about his new classmates and he had made some really good friends now, especially on the track team. He also mentioned that he was going to an inter-state young composers competition in Denver the weekend after Easter break. He had been selected to represent his school. I was so excited for him that he was going a step closer to following his dream to write music for a living. Surely if he won this competition then his parents would see how much potential he had and that it wasn't just a pipe dream.

Tara busied herself reading her Biology notes while I read and re-read Matt's letter before zipping it safely in the front pocket of my bag.

"How is he?" Tara asked.

"He sounds happy and he's even doing some composing, which is what he loves, so that's great."

"He must be missing you though hey?"

"I think so, probably not as much as I'm missing him though. It's harder being the one left behind, there are just so many reminders every day that he is not around anymore."

Tara gave me a sympathetic smile. "He seems like a good letter writer at least. Not many boys would write such long letters or any letters at all…"

"I guess you're right. I can't see Two-Bit or Steve or Darry or even Soda writing much. Probably Ponyboy though. He's the sensitive one in our family and the writer, so I'm sure he'd be a great correspondent, that's if he ever shows any interest in girls."

"Yeah, he's got the looks, but he doesn't seem to realise it."

"I suppose so. I don't see him that way of course, but I guess he's not bad looking. Hey, test me on some Biology will ya? I need to get my mind off all these boys!" I grinned.

"Well, isn't that all part of Biology anyway?" Tara winked at me and we both laughed.

"Yeah, but somehow I don't think there'll be much about that in the exam, so we'd better concentrate on cells."

The Biology exam was my least favourite that day. I don't know if my brain was frazzled after already having had 2 exams that morning or whether it was that my mind was now full of thoughts about Matt and so I was finding it harder to concentrate. Either way, I think I only got about two thirds of the questions right and fluffed the rest. I tried to put it behind me as I came outside. There was nothing I could do about it then anyway.

Tara and I sat outside on the grass by the parking lot and she lit up a cigarette. I could totally see the temptation right then of smoking. After all the pent up stress of the exams it would be nice to calm my nerves with a cool cigarette. Two-Bit wasn't due to pick us up for another half an hour so I decided to take the risk.

"Hey Tara, you got one for me?"

She looked at me in surprise. "You sure? You know what happened last time you tried it. What if your brother catches you again, or Two-Bit?"

"I've got half an hour's leeway, so it will be fine. I've got some gum I can chew afterwards."

She passed me a cigarette, lighting it from her own first, I put it to my lips and took a puff, not repeating my mistake of last time and inhaling too deeply. I was still not sure about the taste, but it definitely had a calming effect on me. Tara and I discussed the next day's exams. I was dreading English language and literature, which was in the morning. I would have to work really hard to get a score anything like good enough to please Darry. The others were Chemistry and History, which I was less worried about.

Tara wanted to discuss my birthday and wanted me to ask Darry for a party. I knew he would not agree. It wasn't like it was a significant birthday or anything and we simply couldn't afford to host a party. Birthdays for us usually meant a cake with candles, a couple of gifts and we could choose what to have for dinner. That was fine by me, I didn't like a lot of fuss and wasn't used to it. Just having my family and the gang all together for one evening was good enough, as it happened so rarely that at least one of us wasn't out for some reason or another. Tara had much grander plans and I let her go off on a wild tangent, thinking all the time that it would never happen, but not wanting to burst her bubble.

We were so busy chatting that we didn't notice Two-Bit's old heap pulling up in the lot. It wasn't until Two-Bit's large frame cast a shadow over me that I realised he was standing there and at the same time remembered the cigarette in my hand, which was almost burnt down to the stub by then. I quickly dropped it and put my foot on it hoping he hadn't noticed, but this is me we're talking about and when do I ever manage to hide anything from the gang?

"I thought you weren't gonna try smoking again Becky." Two-Bit remarked with raised eyebrows, I didn't really have much comeback to that. I was annoyed at the hypocrisy of it though. Two-Bit wasn't the biggest smoker in the gang, but he smoked more than Soda or Darry, so to my mind he had no right to be telling me not to.

"You know how stressed I get about exams Two-Bit, I just wanted to calm my nerves is all." I explained, hoping he was gonna be reasonable about it.

"It ain't good for ya Becky and you're too young to start taking it up now." He replied as serious as I'd ever seen him.

"Ok Two-Bit, I won't make a habit of it, don't tell my brothers will ya?" At this point Pony who had got tired of waiting in the car appeared beside Two-Bit.

"Tell us what?" he asked.

"Your little sister here has been smoking again."

"Thanks Two-Bit. I can always count on you to rat me out can't I?" I snarled. Two-Bit just shrugged and grinned at me.

"Becky, you told me you were just trying it and you didn't like it anyway. You smoking for real now?" Pony asked looking half mad, half concerned.

"No Pony. It's the first time I've done it since that other time you saw me. I was just trying to de-stress after the exams. It's been a hard day. Please Pony, don't rat on me to Darry or Soda."

"You promised me last time that you wouldn't do it again." He pointed out.

"I know, I was just tempted, that's all. I'm not planning to get addicted like you Pony. Don't you think it's a bit rich for you of all people to be getting mad at me for smoking?!"

"I got hooked real quick and I don't want the same thing to happen to you. I'm gonna tell Darry cos he'll make sure you stop now before you get hooked too."

"Pony, just don't, please. You know he'll kill me. Why do you wanna get me in trouble? I won't do it again okay? Just don't get Darry mad at me over something else, please." I begged.

Pony scuffed his toe along the ground irritably, I could tell he was serious about not wanting me to get into smoking, but I also knew he didn't really want to get me into more trouble with Darry.

"Ok Becky, I won't tell, but just make that your last one okay? You really don't wanna be like me and get addicted. It's too expensive a habit anyway. I oughta quit myself."

"Yeah right, like that's really gonna happen anytime soon!" Two-Bit scoffed. We all knew what a cigarette fiend Pony was. He may have been the youngest of the guys in the gang, but he was definitely the biggest smoker.

"One of these days I'm gonna try, I know it'll help my track if I do. Anyways, let's get outta here."

We headed off for home and Tara came back to mine to study for a bit before dinner. I hid Matt's letter under my mattress along with the others after reading it through again one more time. I couldn't wait till next week when I was hopefully gonna finally talk to him on the phone at Tara's house. I had to keep myself out of trouble till then so that I wasn't grounded for anything else!

The rest of that week went by very slowly and painfully. I was in a bad mood because of the exams and got into fights over silly things with all of my brothers at some point or another, but nothing serious enough to earn me another punishment. Darry was being uncharacteristically lenient on me cos he seemed to understand how much the exams got to me. The rest of my exams went as well as they could really. Even the English exam on the Tuesday had gone better than I thought it would, so I was hoping Darry would be pleased with my scores when they finally came out. I was glad to be finished on the Friday and was finally in a better mood.

"We should go out and celebrate!" Tara exclaimed as we sat outside the gym waiting for our lift that afternoon.

"Sure, but I'm still grounded remember?"

"Can't you ask Darry for special dispensation as you've been working so hard on your exams?"

"I can try, but he's not often one for changing his mind, you know that. I'm still amazed that he let you come round to study all those times."

"Well ask him tonight if you can go out to the movies with me on Saturday or something. I really need to have some fun! Talking of which, did you ask Darry about your birthday yet?"

"One thing at a time Tara. You have to pick your moment with Darry. I don't know if I even want a party Tara. I'll be happy with just the gang, some tacos and a cake."

"Man, you need some more excitement in your life."

"I don't, believe me! I've had enough excitement these past few months to last me a long while. I just want some calm and normality for a bit."

Two-Bit pulled up in his car and we jumped in. When I got home I started on dinner. I was feeling on a high with the exams being over and wanted to apologise to my brothers for being so hard to live with that week too. I made a big pot of chilli and even baked some corn bread to go with it. My brothers all loved chilli and so did I. I left the pot bubbling gently on the stove and went to lie down in my room, feeling tired now all the exam adrenaline had left me. I must have fallen asleep as I was woken by the screen door slamming and Soda's dulcet tones yelling "Hello!" as he came in from work. I went out to the living room to greet him.

"Hey Soda."

"Hey Bex, something smells good."

"Yeah, I made some chilli. Thought I oughta make it up to you guys for being such a pain this past week." I grinned.

Soda smiled back. "Hey, we're used to it." He put his arm round my shoulders. I dug him in the ribs in revenge, but he soon had me down on the sofa and poking my sides mercilessly till I was almost crying.

"Stop!" I pleaded.

"Well, it's good to see you laughing again." He said relenting and letting me go. "How was your last exam?"

"Oh, good I think. I don't care anymore, I'm just glad they're all over!"

"I'm sure you did good with your brains."

"Well, my brains feel pretty frazzled right now. I guess I'd better go back in my room before Darry gets in. I'm still grounded remember?"

"I think Darry'll let you off for once. He'll be glad to see a smile on your face again. You know he hates to see you so stressed out over your exams like you've been."

"I know and he's been sweet about it, but I don't wanna take advantage. Besides I wanna get on his good side cos I wanna ask if he'll let me go out with Tara tomorrow night. Do ya think he will?"

Soda smiled "I don't know Bex, but I'll put in a good word for ya if you like. I think you deserve a bit of fun. It's been a while since you did anything but study and stay in your room."

"Yeah, tell me about it. I have had it with being grounded. It stinks."

"Well, see if you can stay outta trouble for a bit and we can have the pleasure of your company in the living room again." He smacked me on the butt, running off to the bathroom to shower before I could retaliate.

At dinner I asked Darry about going out the following evening.

"So, you happier now the exams are all done?" he asked me.

"Definitely, sorry I've been such a brat."

"We're used to that." Pony said grinning and I glared at him.

"Don't be mean Pony. I used to be the same way when I had exams too." Said Darry.

"Darry, I know I'm still meant to be grounded, but Tara asked if I could go out with her tomorrow night to celebrate the end of exams, can I go?"

"Well, I guess I can let you off early seeing as you've been studying so hard these last couple of weeks. Depends on what kind of celebrating she's talking about though." He looked slightly suspicious.

"Oh, just a beer blast ya know." I said keeping a straight face. Darry glared at me, trying not to smile. He knew I was only kidding.

"That's a no then." He said.

"Nah, we'll probably go to the movies or maybe the Dingo."

"Not the Dingo. It's okay in the day, but it gets pretty rough there at night. Anyway, I think you should take Soda and Sarah with you to the movies. I don't like you out after dark on your own."

I rolled my eyes. "I think Samantha and her boyfriend are coming with us, so we won't be alone."

"Just make sure you stick together then,"

"Sure Darry. Thanks." I was annoyed at his protectiveness, but tried not to show it as I was glad I was gonna be let out for once! I wasn't sure if Samantha was coming with us, but she often did when we went to the movies and we could probably ask her if that wasn't the plan. Darry didn't need to know the details. With Darry's permission I gave Tara a call and she was really pleased that Darry was letting me out. Samantha was gonna give us a ride to the movies, but she wasn't staying around cos she had other plans, but Darry didn't need to know that.

Darry had some chores for me to do on Saturday, just to finish off my punishment, but I was all done by 6.00 when Samantha's boyfriend's car pulled up to pick me up.

"Seeya Darry, Tara's here!" I yelled to Darry in the kitchen and headed for the door.

"Hold up!" he called me back. "Here, get yourself some popcorn and soda. Have fun, be back by 9.30." He handed me a couple of dollars. I gave him a peck on the cheek and ran out of the door

"Thanks Dar."

Samantha and her boyfriend dropped us off at the movie theatre and we bought ourselves popcorn and sodas before going in. It was the latest James Bond film 'You only live twice.' Tara had a thing for Sean Connery and I was happy to go along with it. I preferred to see an action movie rather than a love story as I'd only be thinking about Matt otherwise. The film was good, plenty of action and the usual love interest slotted in, but so unlike reality that it didn't matter. We came out into the foyer laughing about something only to come face to face with Caro and 3 other older looking girls I didn't recognise.

My heart dropped and I felt sick to my stomach. I was not prepared for this and her face when she saw us told me enough to know that she was still really mad about what had happened. I glanced at Tara next to me and she looked just as nervous as I did.

"Just be cool." She whispered to me. "Hey Caro." She said in a falsely friendly voice.

"I'm glad I ran into you." Caro said with a sly smile on her face. Her voice was calm but loaded with spite.

"Caro, let me explain." I stuttered. I had to try and tell her what had happened, even if I knew she probably wasn't interested in listening.

"Explain what?" she spat out moving towards me in a very threatening way and getting right in my face. I gulped and tried not to show how scared I was, but knew I was probably failing at that. "Explain how you ratted me out and got me expelled?" she hissed grabbing onto the front of my shirt.

"No, I didn't Caro. It wasn't me, I promise I would never do that." I said desperately.

"You liar!" she yelled and then basically pounced on me letting vent to her anger. She pushed me down in an instant and sat on my stomach managing to hold one of my arms down with her knee. She was punching and slapping my face and when I tried to ward her blows off she twisted my other wrist back and I squealed in agony. Tara had immediately tried to leap to my rescue and pull her off me but two of the other girls held her back while she vainly struggled against them. She was yelling for help.

Eventually all the noise and commotion must have caught the attention of one of the movie theatre staff and two security guards came to break it up. Before they had a chance to grab Caro or the other girls they all ran off, leaving me in a heap on the floor and Tara ran to check on me.

"Oh boy, Bex, are you ok? You look terrible." Her voice sounded panicked and unnaturally high for her.

I could barely move and just lay there with my eyes shut for a moment, catching my breath. I just groaned in response to Tara. I felt like I had been run over by a truck. My face was sore all over, my wrist was throbbing and my whole body just ached from the struggle and from where Caro had been sitting on me and holding me down. One of the security guys spoke to Tara, "Is she okay?"

I opened my eyes as best I could, I could tell my right eye was pretty swollen. "I'm okay." I whispered. "I just need to catch my breath."

"You look pretty beat up there young lady."

"Nothing's broken, I'll be fine. Can I use the phone to call my brother?" I really needed Darry then. I knew he was probably gonna be mad at me for putting myself in a vulnerable situation, but I was hurting and I needed him. I knew he would look after me. I tried to sit up, but my head was spinning. I think Caro had got me with a punch in the side of my head at one point. "Can you help me up?" The 2 guys got a hold of one arm each and pulled me gently to my feet and sat me down on a row of seating by the concession stand. "Tara, can you call Darry for me. Ask him to come get us?"

"Sure Bex."

"Come this way, to the office." Said one of the guys. The other guy stayed with me in case I was gonna pass out or something. Tara came back a few minutes later.

"He's on his way Bex." She sat down next to me and the 2 security guys disappeared, having done their duty. "I'm so sorry Bex, I couldn't stop her."

I tried to smile and reassure her but my face was too swollen and tight and I couldn't manage more than a grimace. "It ain't your fault Tara. You would have got hurt too, at least it was just me. We knew she was gonna be mad didn't we?"

"Yeah, she's totally crazy. I mean you were her friend and she wouldn't even listen to what you had to say. She's off her head. I'm glad she's at another school now. Where are you hurting?"

"Pretty much everywhere. I just ache all over and I think she did something bad to my wrist. It hurts like heck. What did Darry say?"

"He just sounded worried, he'll be here soon. He's gonna freak when he sees you." I knew I must look pretty bad as I could feel how swollen my face was, as well as my hair and clothes being completely dishevelled.

Darry appeared about 10 minutes later and I felt a wave of relief as I saw my tall, solid brother coming through the doors. I always knew I could count on him. There was a look of concern on his face as he searched the foyer for me and then a look of utter shock and anger as he saw the state I was in. Seeing him made the tears start. I had been holding it in, but the relief I felt at him just being there made me relax enough just to give into it and I started sobbing.

"Oh Baby." He said gently and he knelt down and put his arms around me. "I can't believe someone did this to you. My poor girl." He rocked me and held me as I sobbed and eventually pushed me back to look at me again. He gently wiped my tears with a napkin that Tara had fetched from the concession stand and pushed my hair out of my face. "It's okay Baby, nobody is gonna hurt you anymore. You'll be okay. Let's get you home. Are you alright to stand up?" I nodded, but when I tried to push myself to my feet I felt dizzy again. "Whoa, whoa there little girl. I think I'm gonna have to carry you." He picked me up in his arms and I leaned my head on his shoulder.

"Darry, I'd better wait here for my sister. She's coming in about 10 minutes to get us, so I'd better stay around here or she'll wonder where I am."

"Shall I wait with you?" Darry asked.

"Nah, you get Becky home. I'll be okay. There's lots of people around and the security guys have still got their eye on us." I said nodding with my head towards the theatre doors where the two burly guards were standing still glancing in our direction.

"Okay Tara. You be careful and go get those guys if anyone comes near you."

"I will Darry, don't worry about me."

Darry carried me out to the truck, which was parked illegally just outside the theatre. Luckily he hadn't got himself a ticket. I knew he must have been really worried to have parked like that as he was a stickler for the rules normally. He lay me gently in the back seat and I winced at the pain in my head and wrist.

"Sorry Bex, did I hurt you?"

"No." I croaked out. I could barely keep my eyes open. I think the adrenaline had worn off completely by then and I was feeling exhausted.

Darry climbed into the front and drove home with greater care than usual so as not to jolt me around too much. When we got home he carried me in and lay me down on the couch so he could check out my injuries a bit more closely. He cleaned my face off with a warm cloth and then got some ice for my eye and my lip. He was worried about my head though.

"Maybe we oughta take you to the hospital. You might have a concussion."

"No Darry, I just wanna stay here. I'll be fine."

"I dunno Becky, your wrist looked pretty bad too, I think we need to get it x-rayed."

"Can't we wait till morning Dar. I just wanna sleep."

He sighed, not wanting to upset me but obviously not convinced that he shouldn't take me to the hospital. "Okay Honey, but I'm gonna have to wake you every couple of hours in case you do have a concussion."

I groaned. "Okay Darry, but can I just go to sleep now." He kissed my forehead and went to lift me up. "Can't I just stay here, I don't wanna move again." I mumbled, almost asleep already. Darry covered me over with a blanket and I drifted off.

I was woken up a couple of hours later, not by Darry but by Soda, Pony and Two-Bit as they arrived home from their night out. Steve must have been working that evening. I lay there listening to them talking, but not making the effort to open my eyes.

"What the heck happened Darry?" Soda yelled, obviously seeing my bruised and battered face.

"That Caro girl attacked her at the movie theatre. She and Tara were there alone and she just laid into her. I'm gonna take her to the hospital in the morning cos her wrist might be broken and I need wake her every 2 hours tonight, cos she may have a concussion."

"We can't let that little b**** get away with this." Soda growled angrily.

"No way." Two-Bit agreed. "She can't go around doing this to our Bexster and get off scot free."

"Poor Bex." Pony said more quietly. He sounded like he was in shock. "Is she gonna be alright Darry?"

"She'll be okay Pony, don't you worry. I don't want any more talk about getting this girl Caro back, that ain't gonna help anything. I know she deserves it, but we can't take it into our own hands, we'll be just as bad as her then. She's got Becky good and hopefully that will be the end of it. All we can do is just make sure she never gets the opportunity to get her alone like that again." Darry said firmly.

I groaned inwardly listening to their conversation. I was gonna be even more supervised than normal after this.

"We should go to the police." Pony sounded angry now.

"Ponyboy, you know they ain't gonna concern themselves with us greasers. They'll just assume that Becky went around looking for a fight, they won't wanna know." Two-Bit said bitterly.

"Yeah, too right. Do you think we should take her to the hospital tonight? She looks pretty bad." I could tell Soda had moved to stand next to the couch and was looking down at me.

"I'm okay." I croaked.

"Ah, the sleeping beauty awakes." Two-Bit tried to lighten the mood as ever.

Soda knelt down on the floor next to the couch and pushed my hair back gently off my forehead. "You got pretty bashed up there Becky-Boo."

"I know. She kinda took me by surprise and she's bigger than me." I said trying to justify my obvious inability to defend myself.

"It makes me sick that someone would do this to you." Soda sighed.

"I'm okay Soda, you've been hurt worse in fights before and you're fine, I'll be fine too," I tried to reassure him.

"That ain't the same thing. This was not a fair fight. She attacked you and she had no good reason."

I didn't say anything as I knew I couldn't persuade him otherwise. Anyway, he was right. She had attacked me and although she thought she had a good reason to do so, she didn't really, so I wasn't gonna argue her case for her.

"Try and go back to sleep now Becky. Do you want me to move you to your bed now?" Darry asked.

"Okay." I nodded. "It's okay, I can walk." I protested, I sat up slowly and although my head was aching, it didn't feel as fuzzy, but when I went to stand up I tilted forward slightly and nearly fell headfirst into the coffee table. "It's okay I just overbalanced that's all." I complained as all the boys went to grab me.

"No arguments Missy, I'm gonna carry you." Darry said firmly and scooped me up in his arms again. I gave in and leaned against him.

"Night Bex." Pony said

"Feel better." Said Soda.

Darry tucked me into bed and I dozed off again pretty quickly. I spent a pretty restless night, mainly because Darry kept waking me every 2 hours. He must have been pretty exhausted too. At 8.00 he woke me for breakfast. I managed to walk to the kitchen, but Darry made me lean on him the whole way. My head felt a lot better, but I was achy all over and felt like an old woman hobbling along. I hadn't dared to look at my face in the mirror yet, I didn't want to know how bad I looked. The worst thing was my wrist though. It was bruised and swollen and it hurt to move it at all. Darry frowned as he noticed me holding it gingerly.

"Straight after breakfast we're going to the emergency room. You need to get that wrist checked out."

"Sure Darry." I hated to go to the hospital, partly because I hated all the fuss and partly because it was another outlay that we couldn't afford, but I didn't argue because actually my wrist did feel pretty bad and I didn't want it to be permanently damaged and have to give up gymnastics if I didn't get it properly seen to.

I was pleased that so far Darry hadn't got mad at me for being alone with Tara at the movies. He was only worried about my injuries and not the fact that I had misled him about Samantha being with us. If she and Todd had been there things may have gone a bit differently. I guessed that he would deal with that later once he knew I was ok.

We had to wait 3 hours to be seen in the emergency room. I guess a lot of people leave it till Sunday morning to come in after being injured on the Saturday evening. There were a lot of people who looked like they had been in some kind of brawl and I must have looked the same to them.

The doctor checked me over and felt over the injuries on my face and head. He was very nice and didn't ask too many questions about how I had got into a fight. He sent me off to get x-rayed and it turned out I did have a fracture on my wrist, which meant I would have to be in a cast for 6 weeks. Great! No chance of being on the gymnastics squad anymore if I was gonna miss that many sessions. The rest of my injuries were minor and I had no more broken bones. He sent us down to the fracture clinic to get my cast put on.

"Well, at least your face is gonna heal up pretty quickly Honey." Darry said trying to make me feel better as we sat in yet another waiting area. He knew I was disappointed about missing out on my gymnastics.

I sighed and kicked the table in front of me, which was covered in out of date National Geographic magazines. "Hey don't put your feet on the table." Darry said pushing my leg down.

"Sorry," I muttered and started kicking my own chair leg instead.

Darry leaned forward and grabbed a magazine, handing it to me meaningfully. "Stop taking it out on the furniture and distract yourself with this." He suggested.

The nurse finally came to collect me and take me for my cast. She was tall with brown eyes and wavy brown hair. I could tell Darry was attracted to her, as he was actually flirting. If I hadn't been feeling so fed up, I might have found it funny. She seemed to quite like him too. Her name was Rose and she seemed really nice. She was joking with me about being able to beat up my brothers now that I had my own personal weapon in the form of a cast. Darry went off to sign some paperwork and I seized the moment before it was too late, Darry didn't get a lot of opportunity to meet women his age.

"Hey, Rose do you wanna be the first one to sign my cast?…..you could put your phone number on it and I'll get Darry to call you." I blushed at how forward I was being, but I knew it was now or never.

Rose blushed too, but she wasn't mad, she smiled shyly and took a pen from the desk. "Okay." She signed her name and drew a flower then scribbled down a number beneath it. "Make sure you get him to call." She winked at me and I grinned back. I knew Darry would probably be a bit mad that I had asked her, but I didn't care. He deserved to have a bit of fun for once and she seemed real nice.

Darry came back and said his goodbyes. I was glad I had got Rose's number, as he was not about to do it himself. I smiled to myself as we got in the truck.

"Well, you seem a bit happier now." He commented.

"Yeah, Rose cheered me up. She was really nice wasn't she?" I said watching Darry's face for a reaction. He blushed very slightly and couldn't help a small grin.

"Yeah, she was nice."

"Admit it, you liked her a lot huh?"

Darry frowned at me and coughed. "What do you mean? I said she was nice."

"Yeah, but do you mean 'Nice' or 'Nice'?" I asked giving a subtle difference in intonation, but it was obvious what I meant.

"Becky, I don't have time a girlfriend if that's what you're getting at and I probably won't be seeing her again, not unless you or one of our brothers decides to do anything else dangerous in the near future."

"Well, you could call her anyway." I bit my lip nervously and looked sideways at Darry.

"I don't have her number."

"Well, I do. I asked her to write it on my cast." I grinned.

"You what?" Darry yelled. "What did you do that for?!"

"Well, I could tell you liked her and I knew you wouldn't do anything about it, so I had to seize the moment. She said to make sure you called."

"She did?" He sounded surprised that she was interested in speaking to him again.

"Yeah, so you see? She likes you too. You should call her and go out on a date."

"We'll see." Darry said gruffly. I could tell he was embarrassed at his little sister trying to match him up, but also a bit pleased at the thought of going out on a date with Rose. It had been a long while since he'd been out with a girl, not since Mom and Dad had died. "If I want a girlfriend I can find one myself ya know Becky. I don't need your help."

I just smiled, pleased with myself for having pushed Darry to be proactive. I knew without my action he would have done nothing about it. Darry shook his head and glared at me sideways, though I could see he was only half mad.

"I can't believe you did that!"

I couldn't stop grinning, even though it actually hurt my face! "So, you gonna call her tonight?"

"We'll see Rebecca, don't hassle me about it."

I shutup about it, but didn't plan to let up completely until he actually made that call. Despite the horrible events of the night before and my aching, throbbing body, I was feeling really happy. It was good to be able to do something nice for Darry for once. He was always looking after me and doing so much for me, well now it was my turn to make his life a bit happier. I really hoped he'd call and that they would start going steady. It would be nice to have another female around, apart from Sarah and Tara. I would have to enlist Ponyboy and Soda on my side. I knew they would be as excited as I was about the prospect of Darry dating again. Not only would he be happier, but maybe he would have less time to be focused on what I was doing all the time. It would be a win-win situation.


	28. Chapter 28 - Darry's date & b'day plans

_**Thanks as always to those who reviewed - please read and review again, I love to get your feedback.**_

Chapter 28

**Darry's date and birthday plans**

When we got back from the hospital I finally plucked up the courage to look at my face in the mirror. I was shocked at what I saw. My right eye was puffy and swollen. The skin around it was bruised and turning black. The left side of my mouth was swollen up too and there was a cut at the corner of my lip as well as a bruise on my cheekbone. I lifted my shirt to examine my stomach, which was the other place which was hurting me. There were bruises all along just below my ribs where Caro had knelt on me as well as a big bruise on my right arm where she had held me down. I wondered if I had actually managed to do her any damage at all. I doubted it, as I had been barely able to move let alone swing at her. I sighed thinking about what everyone was gonna say at school the next day. I hated lots of attention, but it was impossible to hide the fact that I had been in a fight. I wondered if I could persuade Darry to let me have a couple of days off, at least until the swelling on my face went down a bit.

As much as I hated being chaperoned everywhere by my brothers or the gang I was actually pretty grateful that I wouldn't be left on my own for a while. I was really scared that Caro would be out to get me again, maybe she hadn't finished with me yet. I hoped she had got it out of her system, but I couldn't be sure and it made me nervous to think about going anywhere without some kind of bodyguard. I knew she wouldn't dare to try anything if the boys were with me.

I decided to write to Matt that afternoon and tell him about all that had been going on. I always seemed to have some kind of drama to tell him about in every letter. He must be glad to be away from it all and leading a normal life out in California! I couldn't wait till the next day when I could finally call him now that I was ungrounded and could go to Tara's place after school.

All the gang were there for dinner that evening, as usual on the weekend. Darry had made 2 roast chickens with baked potatoes and salad, which was delicious. I took the opportunity to tell everyone about Darry's prospective date.

"So, did Darry tell you he got the nurse's phone number at the hospital today?" I said with a smile as Darry glared at me.

"You dark horse Darry, you never mentioned that. When are you seeing her?" asked Soda, looking very excited.

"Don't get too worked up, I may not even call her. It was Becky who got her number, not me. I don't have time for a girlfriend, I don't wanna start something I can't follow through on."

"Ah, come on Darry, you need a bit of fun in your life. You're not asking her to marry you, just going out on a date. It doesn't have to be a big deal." Soda said.

"Yeah, come on Darry, act your age for once and go out and have some fun. You need a bit of distraction from your boring life, right?" Steve added.

"My life's not boring, I'm too busy to be bored." Darry growled.

"Darry, you have to call, Rose seems just right for you and when do you ever get the chance to meet girls like her?" I pleaded.

"What's she like Bex?" Soda asked.

"She's real pretty, long brown hair and brown eyes. She's sweet too and funny, she wants Darry to call her, so I know she likes him too…"

"Give her a call Darry, go on…I can babysit Bex and Pony here if you wanna go out on a date." Two-Bit grinned.

Pony and I glared at him "I don't need no babysitter." Pony snapped.

"Nor do I!" I agreed. Two-Bit just laughed. He was only trying to get a reaction out of us anyway.

"Call her Darry, go on." Pony said sincerely. I think he was as pleased as I was at the thought of Darry being distracted by something else than our grades, homework and general behaviour and well-being.

Darry held his hands up in surrender and looked irritated "If you guys stop going on about it I will call okay? Just drop it now. I'll call her this evening and see if she wants to go out next week." He glared at me.

"Good." I said with a smile. Two-Bit gave a whoop, Steve and Soda gave each other a high-five and Pony and I just grinned. Darry rolled his eyes. "You guys need to get out more if my going on a date gives you all such a thrill!"

"That's just it Dar, you're the one that needs to get out more, that's why we're pleased you finally found yourself a girl." Soda punched him gently in the arm.

"Don't get carried away Sodapop, we haven't even been on a date. Don't start planning the engagement party just yet." Darry grumbled, but he couldn't help a small smile.

That evening Darry stretched the phone cord so that he could make the call in private in his room. I tried to listen in outside his door but couldn't hear anything but murmurs and some laughter. He came out and raised his eyebrows at me as I didn't move away from the door in time.

"It's rude to eavesdrop ya know?"

"Sorry, I couldn't hear anything anyway. So, what did she say?" I asked.

He rolled his eyes. "It's not really any of your business Rebecca."

I groaned "Ah come on Darry, are you going on a date or what?"

"We're going out for a pizza on Wednesday." He muttered.

I gave him a spontaneous hug round the waist "That's great Darry!" I enthused.

"Geez, anyone would think I'd never been on a date before."

"Well, it's been a while." Said Pony, joining us in the corridor.

"If this is how it's gonna be then it'll be a while before I do it again." Darry grumbled.

"Okay, we won't mention it again, will we Bex?" Pony prompted me.

"Not a word." I said pretending to zip my lip.

"Hey Pony, shouldn't you be doing some homework?" Darry asked, changing the subject.

"All done." He said.

"Show me your math and I'll check for mistakes."

Pony rolled his eyes and went off to his room to get his math. "You got any work to do?" he asked me.

"Nope, we get a week off after all the exams."

"When do you get the scores?"

"Next week, they should come in the mail on Friday." My stomach dropped at the thought of that. I had done my best, but would it be good enough for Darry? It was my turn to change the subject. "Hey Darry, do you think I could take a few days off from school to recover?" I pointed at my face. "I won't be missing much this week."

"No Rebecca. There's no reason you can't go to school." He said firmly.

"But, Darry, I look awful. Everyone is gonna be staring at me and asking what happened. It's all so embarrassing."

"You'll cope. The swelling is going down already in your face and as long as your head is feeling better you can carry on as normal, apart from gym of course."

I grunted, I knew it had been a long-shot that he would let me off school, but I had still hoped he would. "Darry, is it okay if I go to Tara's after school tomorrow now I'm not grounded anymore?"

"Sure."

"Can someone pick me up about 5.00? I don't really want to walk back on my own."

"I'll make sure someone is there to get you. Are you worried about bumping into Caro again?" he asked sounding concerned.

"A little bit."

Darry put his hand on my shoulder. "I reckon she's had her revenge now, but it's probably sensible to not be about without one of us for a few weeks. Once she realises you have a whole team of bodyguards she'll probably give up anyway!" he tried to lighten the mood. I smiled back tentatively. It wouldn't do much for my independence but I would feel happier to be protected for a few weeks until I knew Caro had moved on to another victim.

The next day at school was quite fun. Most of the teachers were not starting on the next semester's work yet and so we did fun quizzes or played games and a couple of the teachers even brought in party snacks for us. Last period was gym and I had to sit it out because of my wrist. I was bored senseless watching them all play volleyball and the time went even slower as I was so anxious to get to Tara's and finally call Matt. Eventually the final bell rang and we were picked up by Two-Bit and dropped off at Tara's house.

"Seeya later girls. Bex, I'll be back to pick you up at 5.00, Soda's working and Darry's picking Pony up from the library."

"Okay, thanks Two-Bit!"

Tara and I went into her living room. Her sister and boyfriend were there on the couch, but went off to Samantha's room now that we were there. Her Mom was still out at work. Tara gestured to the phone. "Go ahead, I know you're chomping at the bit to call."

"Thanks Tara. I won't talk too long or your Mom's bill will be huge. I hope he's there like he said he would be." Nervously I dialled Matt's number and it rang 3 times before he picked up.

"Becky?" he asked keenly.

"Matt! I'm so glad you're there."

"It's so good to hear your voice! How are you doing? What have you been up to?" he asked eagerly.

"Well, I've just sent you a long letter so I won't go into too much detail about that, but I had a bit of a run in with Caro. She beat me up when Tara and I were at the movies on Saturday evening."

"She beat you up?! Are you okay? Did she hurt you badly?"

"Well, she got me pretty good in the face a couple of times, and she managed to break my wrist."

"Oh Becky, you poor thing. I can't believe she would do that. She was meant to be your friend. I wish I was there, I'd go and give her a piece of my mind."

"I'm hoping that's an end to it now. My brothers and the gang are making sure I'm not alone anymore for the next few weeks, so I should be safe. Anyway what about you?"

"Well, I haven't been in any fights or been suspended or played any pranks on the teachers, so my life has been pretty dull in comparison."

I laughed "Well, lucky you!"

"Yeah, that's the kind of excitement we could all do without I guess."

"I'm so happy for you about the composers competition."

"Thanks, yeah, I'm pretty excited too. There's me and 2 others going from our school, we have to perform 2 pieces that we have composed and the top 3 people go on to the final in September."

"You're gonna win for sure!"

"Well, I'm not so sure, but it would be nice. My parents are pleased, but they still don't see it as a big deal, but maybe if I won…."

"Yeah, they'd have to admit it's more than a hobby then wouldn't they?"

"I hope so. I was planning on coming down there at Spring break, but I won't be able to now, not with the trip to Denver that weekend."

"Well, that's more important." I said trying not to sound too disappointed. "Maybe in the summer?"

"Yeah, definitely then, but hopefully before."

"So, you're making lots of friends at school and stuff?"

"Yeah, I have a few really good friends. I only keep in touch with a couple of the guys from Tulsa. The only thing I really miss is you Baby."

"I miss you too. I wish you weren't so far away and I wish I could call you more often. I've been grounded so much this is the first chance I've had to be at Tara's. I can't call from home cos there's always someone there."

"I understand. I daren't call you either in case one of them picks up. I don't want to get you into more trouble."

"Darry is still against you and so is Soda. I wish they would see you like I do. Darry caught me listening to your record and he has taken it away from me for a couple of months. I can't even listen to that anymore." I said despondently.

"I'm sorry Baby, that's so unfair."

"He's trying to help me get over you, but I don't want to get over you Matt."

"I know, I don't want us to end either."

"Look, I need to go. Tara's Mom is gonna flip if her bill is too huge. I'll call again next Monday okay?"

"That sounds like a good plan. I love you Becky, be careful, no more fights okay?"

"Love you too Matt. I'll try my best. Speak to you soon."

"Bye…"

"Bye…"

"You hang up first" I said.

"No, you hang up." He laughed.

"Okay, I'm hanging up…bye Matt." I reluctantly put the phone down. My heart was beating fast and I felt half elated, half sad. It was so nice to talk to him and he was as sweet as ever, but it just reminded me how much I missed him and how far away he was.

The next day at school we received a letter about a school trip for us 8th graders happening the second week of the Easter break. Those who went would be spending a week at a ranch just outside of Denver and at the end of the week would be performing in their own rodeo. It sounded really good fun and I really wanted to go, but wasn't sure if Darry would be able to afford it. It was $40 for the week, including all the travel and accommodation and food. All I could do was ask, but I had a feeling the answer would be no. Tara was the one who pointed out the obvious to me when we were discussing it at lunch break.

"Denver Bex, does that ring any bells with you?" she prompted as we sat in the cafeteria eating our sandwiches.

"What do you mean?" I asked, not sure what she was getting at.

"Well, isn't that where Matt's competition is the last weekend of Spring break?"

"Oh my gosh, you're right. We'll both be in Denver at the same time if Darry will let me go. Now, I really have to go, there's no way I'm going to miss out on the chance of seeing Matt!" I couldn't get the grin off my face. "I can't believe I didn't make that connection!"

"Me either. I'm not sure how you're actually going to meet up, but there must be a way."

"Oh, believe me if Darry lets me go, I will find a way, by hook or by crook!"

"I know you will." Tara grinned back at me. "First you need to work on him about your birthday though."

"I really don't want to make a big deal out of it Tara. I hate to be the centre of attention. It's been bad enough today with everyone whispering behind my back about my battered face and even worse those who actually asked me about it!"

"Yeah, but this would be positive attention, not negative. It'll do you good to have fun with your friends."

"I'll think about it. I want Darry to focus on him and Rose for a bit though first. I am so happy that he's got the chance to enjoy himself for once."

"Yeah, he deserves a break. You never know it might loosen him up a bit and he'll say yes to anything then." Tara said with a grin.

"Well, that did cross my mind, though maybe he's not so easily distracted!"

At dinner that evening Pony seemed nervous or excited, I couldn't tell which. Finally he revealed what was going on. He cleared his throat nervously and said.

"Here Darry, I got a letter from the coach." He handed it to Darry with a shy smile on his face.

Darry took the piece of paper and read it, a grin spreading over his face as he got through it.

"You got selected to represent the state, that's fantastic Pony, well done Kiddo. I knew you could do it!"

Pony blushed but I knew he was pleased at Darry's praise. He always wanted Darry's approval but mostly seemed to get his criticism, so this was a big thing.

Soda grabbed Pony in a head lock and ruffled his hair affectionately. "I told ya, didn't I? That's great Ponyboy. I'm so proud of you."

"Well done Pony." I added grinning, I was proud of him too.

"There's just one problem." He said. "The state meet is taking place in Oklahoma in 2 weeks' time. It's on Becky's birthday."

"That's okay Pony, I really don't care about celebrating my birthday, this is way more important."

Darry smiled at me, pleased that I wasn't being difficult about it. "We're not gonna forget your birthday Bex, don't worry, but we can celebrate it a couple of days late if that's okay?"

"Sure. I really don't mind." I reassured my brothers. Mom and Dad had always made sure we marked our birthdays and I could see my brothers were worried I would feel hurt or neglected if they didn't do the same, but I honestly felt completely ambivalent about my birthday. I was happy to let it slide and there was no way I was gonna let Ponyboy lose out on his opportunity just because it happened to fall on my birthday.

"Thanks Becky." Pony said quietly and squeezed my hand.

"I'll go with you then Pony and Soda can hold the fort here with Bex." Said Darry. "We can do it in a day; leave early Friday morning and be back around 1.00 or 2.00 on Saturday morning. We can't really afford a hotel anyway."

"Don't worry Darry, I'll keep her out of trouble." Soda winked at me.

"More like the other way around!" I complained.

My brothers all laughed at that. Soda was usually the one up to mischief, although just lately I had been giving him a run for his money.

Steve came round later that evening and I was lying on the couch watching Bonanza. I had no homework to do and I was making the most of it while Darry had dragged Pony off to the grocery store with him. Steve and Soda were heading out with Sarah and Evie. While Soda was getting ready Steve was raving to him about some big drag race planned in a couple of weeks on the strip. He was planning to try and soup up the engine on his car so that he and Soda could take part.

"I don't think I can come." Soda said, as he searched frantically for his shirt in the clean laundry pile.

"Why not man? You were all up for it the other day?"

"It's on Becky's birthday and Darry and Pony ain't gonna be here. I can't leave her here all alone on her birthday."

Steve looked mad. He always hated it when Ponyboy or I got in the way of his plans with Soda. He didn't get why Soda put us first. "So what if she's alone? She won't mind." He moaned, sounding like a whiney toddler.

"Soda, I really don't mind. I don't want you to miss out. I'll be fine. Tara will come round and we'll do something nice. I honestly don't mind if you go out."

Soda came over to me buttoning up his shirt. "I hate to abandon you on your birthday. You know Mom and Dad would have never let that happen." He looked concerned.

"Pony and Darry won't be here, so we won't all be together anyway. You heard what Darry said, we'll celebrate it another day. It doesn't matter and you've been looking forward to the drag race, I don't want you to miss out just cos of the date."

"Okay Bex, thank you." He grinned at me and leaned down and kissed me on the cheek.

I didn't think Darry would be particularly thrilled at Soda leaving me alone that evening though, so I added. "You may not want to mention it to Darry though. He'll just be worried about me being here alone. As long as you're back before he is, he'll never know, right?"

"She's talking sense for once." Steve said and I glared at him, talk about a back-handed compliment. "Darry wouldn't want you to leave her without a babysitter all evening. It's best he don't know about it."

"Okay. He and Pony will be back late, around 1.00 in the morning, so that shouldn't be a problem. You make sure you invite Tara though Bex. I'd rather you had company."

"I will. We'll get a pizza or something."

"Come on Man, stop messing with your hair. We can't keep these girls waiting any longer." Steve grabbed Soda round the neck and started dragging him out, which turned into a small tussle before they finally went out the door.

"Seeya later Bex!" Soda yelled as he jumped down the steps off the porch.

"Have fun!" I yelled back and laughed.

The next day at school I mentioned to Tara about her coming round on my birthday. It was a Friday so I was hoping she could sleepover and we would have a nice chilled out evening gossiping and painting our nails etc. When she heard that my brothers were all gonna be out she had other ideas.

"That's perfect! The ideal opportunity for a party Bex! Your brothers are all out the way, we can have some friends over and celebrate properly."

"I don't think Darry is gonna go for that idea or Soda either come to that, not if he's not gonna be around to keep an eye on things."

"Well that's the beauty of it, right? He's not gonna be around and he won't be back till midnight, so we have plenty of time to enjoy ourselves. We can throw everyone out at 11.00 and your brothers will be none the wiser. You don't need to even mention it to Darry." She had a wicked grin on her face and I could see her brain working overtime planning the party before I had even given the go-ahead.

"I don't think it's such a great idea Tara. I don't want a big party and I don't want to risk being in more trouble at home. You know I'll be in deep if they find out about me doing this behind their backs right?"

"Okay, we'll keep it small. Just Susie, Trish and Melanie and a couple of other guys from our class. It'll be fun. Go on Bex, when do we ever get the chance to have the house to ourselves? and it is your birthday. You deserve a party!"

I felt myself getting caught up in her enthusiasm. Maybe it would be fun to have a party. I hadn't been dancing for ages and I did love to dance. "Well, just a few people Tara. Don't get carried away."

Tara whooped in excitement and gave me a hug. "Yay Bex! I knew you'd see sense. What time shall we tell people?"

"Well, I think Soda's going out about 7.00, so maybe 7.30 till 10.30. That gives us time to get cleared up before Soda gets back."

"Sure Bex, don't worry so much. Nothing is gonna go wrong and it will be fun. I can't wait!"

I still felt a mixture of trepidation and excitement at the thought. It would be nice, but I was worried that Tara was gonna get carried away and that my brothers would find out in the end. I didn't have a good track record at getting away with stuff after all. I would have to keep a tight rein on Tara and make sure she only invited a select few.

For the moment I tried to get my mind off the party. That night was Darry's date with Rose and I was really excited that he was actually going. He got home from work early that evening and spent an age in the bathroom. He came out in his newest pair of black jeans and a blue shirt, which he had obviously ironed, a rare thing in our house. His hair was combed to perfection and he smelt of Daddy's aftershave. It was a nice smell, which reminded me of happy times curled up reading books with my Dad and his safe, strong arms. He gave such good hugs. I shook my head trying to concentrate on Darry and not think too much about how much he reminded me of Daddy.

"You look good Darry." I said. He smiled at me and I could tell he was nervous. It was unusual to see him looking unsure of himself and I hoped that the guys would not give him too hard a time, as he needed reassurance not to be picked on.

"Well, looking good there Darry, we won't wait up. I can get the kids to school in the morning if you need to, ya know, stay somewhere else tonight…" Soda grinned and punched him on the shoulder. Darry actually blushed, which made me smile. It was quite sweet to see him all bashful and nervous like this.

"I'll be back by 11.00." he said gruffly, "Pony and Bex, I want you both in bed by 10.00. You've got school in the morning."

Pony rolled his eyes and I shook my head "Don't worry about us Darry, just go out and enjoy yourself. Say hi to Rose from me."

Darry nodded and headed for the door. "Don't do anything I wouldn't do!" Soda yelled after him.

"That leaves him a lot of scope." Sassed Ponyboy and Soda wrestled him down to the floor,

"Get off!" Pony yelped as Soda held his arms behind his back. "Okay, Uncle!" he yelled as I heard Darry's truck drive off.

"Enough of your cheek young'un." Soda said pulling him back up, with a smile. Pony rolled his eyes and stalked off to his room to finish his homework.

"You shouldn't tease Darry about Rose." I admonished Soda. "I think he really likes her and he's nervous. I don't want him to back out cos you guys are all getting at him."

"Ah, it's just a bit of fun, he knows that."

"I hope he does have fun tonight. I think Rose could be good for him."

"Well, it's early days Becky, don't get your hopes up just yet. I hope it works out for him too." Soda ruffled my hair and went off to the kitchen to do the dishes.

I dutifully went to bed at 10.00 but I was only just drifting off when Darry came back at 11.00 and I could hear him and Soda chatting in the kitchen. I would have to wait till morning to ask how it went and I also needed to ask about the trip to Denver. I hadn't had the chance to mention it yet, but I was hoping with my birthday coming up that I could maybe ask them to pay for my trip instead of having any presents. If all the guys clubbed together it wouldn't be so much to ask. I drifted off to sleep finally with a smile on my face and had strange but pleasant dreams about riding horses with Matt while he sang to me.


	29. Chapter 29 - Birthday, buses and scores

**_Please, please review. I love to know that people are reading and to hear what you think of the story, it encourages me to keep going. Thanks so much to those who faithfully review each chapter! It means such a lot. This chapter is a bit of a filler with things happening that have to happen for the plot to move on later so I hope it's not too bitty._**

Chapter 29

**Birthday, buses and scores**

Darry was making scrambled eggs when I went into the kitchen the next morning. I was itching to ask him all about his date.

"Morning Becky." He turned and smiled at me.

"Morning Dar. You're in a good mood, so I'm guessing last night went well?" I asked.

I could see his shoulders tense up at my question. He really didn't like talking about anything personal with me. I guess he still just saw me as a kid and he had obviously never talked to his baby sister about girlfriends and stuff before. I think he barely even talked to Soda about it.

"It was fine." He said non-commitally.

I rolled my eyes, I wanted more information than that, but I was gonna have to drag it out of him. "So, you got on okay with Rose?"

"I told you, it was fine, we got on just fine." He still had his back to me, stirring the eggs.

"Well, are you gonna see her again?"

"Probably. She asked me to her sister's birthday party on Saturday."

"That's great Darry!" I enthused as Darry tipped the egg into a dish on the table. "So, did you kiss her?" I asked with a grin.

Darry glared at me "That's none of your business Rebecca and I'm not gonna answer that. Now can we change the subject?"

That's a yes then, I thought to myself, still grinning. If he hadn't kissed her he'd be all too willing to offer that up. "Okay then, about my birthday..."

"Yeah, are you still alright about me going off with Pony?" he asked, sounding anxious.

"Yeah, of course. I don't want Pony to miss out on that, it's much more important."

"I promise we'll celebrate your birthday on the Saturday or Sunday instead."

"Sure, I really don't care if we don't do anything, but I had an idea for a gift." I said nervously. I wasn't sure if the $40 for the Denver trip was gonna be too much, even if everyone contributed and I wasn't sure if Darry would be happy for me to go anyway.

"Oh yeah?" Darry asked curiously, sitting down and piling his plate with food.

"Well, there's this school trip for us 8th graders and I'd really like to go, but I don't know if we can afford it, so I was thinking instead of getting me any gifts, you guys and the gang could maybe put some money towards it so I can go?"

"What trip? Where to and how much does it cost?"

"Hang on, I have a letter about it in my bag." I rummaged through my bag and brought out the letter handing it to Darry as Soda came into the kitchen and sat to eat.

"Morning all!" he said with characteristic enthusiasm.

"Morning Sodapop." Darry frowned as he concentrated on the letter.

"What's all this?" Soda asked taking the letter from Darry to read.

"An idea for Becky's birthday gift." Darry explained to Soda.

"Wow, it sounds cool. Wish I could go, it's been a while since I've been around horses. I miss it." Said Soda wistfully.

"$40?" Darry mused rubbing his chin. "What do you think Soda? I guess if all the guys contribute we should be able to cover it. You sure that's what you want?"

"Sounds like a great idea." Soda said.

My heart flipped, they were actually saying 'yes'! "Yes Darry, I really wanna go, it sounds amazing."

Darry smiled at me. "Well, I think we can manage it, as long as you promise to stay out of trouble while you're there. I'm not sure if I like the idea of you being away from home for a whole week with a bunch of other 8th graders."

"There'll be teachers with us Darry. We won't be getting up to anything except riding horses and stuff."

"Okay." Darry said.

"You really mean it?! I can go!" I jumped up and leapt onto Darry's lap giving him a huge hug. I was so excited that I was actually going to Denver and it hadn't even been very difficult to get Darry to agree.

Darry laughed and hugged me back before pushing me off his lap. "Well, if it means that much to you." He shook his head and smiled at my exuberance. I gave Soda a peck on the cheek too before I sat back down and tucked into my breakfast, but I couldn't get the grin off my face all morning. Now all I had to do was figure out a way to meet up with Matt while I was there, but I knew where there was a will there was a way. I hoped I could manage it without getting into too much trouble.

Tara was going on the trip too. Her Dad, who she never saw and only ever called on her birthday and at Christmas, had sent her some money. He travelled around picking up construction work and was always either completely broke or flush with cash depending on how things were going. He had obviously done well in the Fall and had sent her $50, so she was gonna pay for herself to go on the Denver trip. It was all we could talk about at school the next day. I was planning to go to the bus station at the weekend to try and get a timetable. There must be a bus from the small town where our ranch was into Denver. I would have to slip away and miss the rodeo on the last day, but maybe I wouldn't be noticed that way with so much going on. Matt's competition was being held in South High School, which was in the Washington Park neighbourhood of Denver. It was at least on the right side of town for our ranch, which was on the edge of the Arapaho National Forest in a small town called Bailey. I wanted to get as much organised as possible before I mentioned anything about it to Matt. In fact, I was even considering keeping it a secret and just surprising him by turning up. I had another couple of months to get sorted anyway.

I was glad that it was Friday the next day and almost the weekend so that I could get on with my research into bus routes! I had momentarily forgotten that it was the day that the exam scores were being sent out. After school Tara came back with me and we hung out in my room gossiping and listening to the radio. Around 5.00 Soda arrived back with as much noise as was usual for him.

"Hey guys, I'm home!" he yelled slamming the door.

"Hi Soda!" I called from my room, "We're in here."

Soda came and poked his head round my door. "Oh, hi Tara, I didn't know you were here. You staying for dinner? I'm just about to start making some hamburgers."

"Can she stay?" I asked.

"Sure, if that's alright with your Mom Tara?"

"Yeah, I'll just give her a call to check, but I'm sure she won't mind, thanks Soda."

"Sure. What are you two up to?"

"Nothing much, just hanging out."

"Where's Pony at?"

"He had track, Darry's picking him up on his way home."

"Oh okay. By the way, there's some kind of official looking letter come in the mail, addressed to 'The parent or guardian of Rebecca Curtis'. Soda held up a brown envelope which he was holding.

My face fell as I remembered the exam scores. "Oh no, it's the exam scores." I groaned.

"Oh, that's what it is, I thought it might be something from the state. I'd rather exam scores than that." Said Soda with relief.

"Well, that's cos they're not _your_ exam scores Soda! I just hope that Darry is not gonna be too mad."

Soda smiled "He won't be mad, he knows how hard you worked and I'm sure you've done just fine anyway Bex."

"I'm glad _you're_ sure!" I grimaced.

"You've done okay I'm sure." Tara reassured me.

"Yeah, you're smarter than you look!" Soda grinned and I stuck my tongue out at him, still feeling nervous.

"Hand it over then Soda. I guess I'd better open it and get it over with." I held my hand out to him.

"It's right here." He handed it to me and I ripped it open before I could change my mind. Relief flooded me as my eyes scanned the paper and I saw a whole list of A's and just one B in English. I couldn't believe I had even made an A on that Biology exam, which I had thought I'd flunked. Darry would probably still not be happy with the B, but I thought he would be pretty pleased with the rest. I smiled and let out my breath, which I hadn't realised I'd been holding.

"So don't keep us in suspense." Soda said and I handed him the piece of paper.

"That's great Bex! Wow! If I ever had grades like these Mom and Dad would have thrown a party! Darry will be real proud and so am I." he reached down to give me a hug.

"Thanks Soda, I'm really relieved."

"Wow Bex, there's no way I'll be getting anywhere near those scores on mine. I'll be happy if I get just a few A's. You're so smart, it's not fair – smart and beautiful!" Tara teased nudging me in the ribs and I nudged her back.

"I'm sure you will have done just as good as me. Bet Darry still won't be happy with the B though." I rolled my eyes.

"Come on Bex, you were flunking English a month ago, he'll be real pleased you managed to pull off a B." Soda said, heading off to the kitchen to make dinner. Tara and I followed him out so that Tara could call her Mom and ask if she could stay. Her Mom agreed and Soda yelled from the kitchen that he could give her a lift home later.

We were watching 'Dream of Jeannie' when Darry and Pony got home about 10 minutes later. Of course the first thing Darry did was ask about the results, you could trust him not to forget something like that!

"So, anything in the mail I should know about?" he asked with a smile and raised his eyebrows at me expectantly.

I rolled my eyes "Here Darry." I handed him the envelope and saw a grin come over his face as he saw the scores.

"That's awesome Rebecca! You really deserved that after all your hard work. You even managed to pull your English score up. I am real proud of you Baby." He ruffled my hair and wondered off into the kitchen to see how Soda was getting along with dinner.

"Well, that went well." I commented to Tara. "I really thought he was gonna have something more to say about the B in English, normally only perfection will do with him!"

"That's cos he knows you can do it Bex. You're some kind of genius or something ain't ya? That's why you got put up a year."

"Shut up Tara! I ain't no genius." I slapped her playfully on the arm. "You know I had to work my butt off to get those results and I still didn't get all A's did I? I think I can just put my success down to the quality of my study partner." I grinned.

"Well, I didn't like to say…" Tara smiled back and we laughed.

"Dinner's up!" Soda yelled from the kitchen and we giggled as we heard Darry telling him not to yell and to come and get us.

Tara went home around 9.00 after a pleasant evening spent in my room discussing boys (namely Matt and some guy called Craig in our Spanish class that Tara was crushing on) and rodeos. Tara had never been riding before and I hadn't been for years, not since I was little and Soda had hurt himself. Since then Dad had stopped him doing barrel racing anymore. He loved horses and I wished he would take it up again now that Dad wasn't there to worry about him getting hurt again. Soda seemed happy enough though, he always made the best of things, it was just in his nature. After he dropped Tara off he was just going out to pick Sarah up for a date. They were still going strong, though I wasn't sure if it was love or if he just always had to have a girl on his arm. He never had a shortage of girls around him at the DX, fluttering their eyelashes and flirting, but to his credit he never gave any of them the time of day now that he was with Sarah. You could count on Soda to be faithful, unlike Sandy. I would never forgive her for the way she hurt Soda but I got the feeling that as much as he liked Sarah, he wasn't ever gonna love anyone as much as he had Sandy. I hoped I was wrong.

I was so pleased that Darry now also had a girlfriend on the horizon. Rose called him later that evening and Pony answered the phone.

"Hi, Ponyboy speaking…..Yes he is, I'll just get him, can I say who's calling?...oh, hi Rose, I'll just get him." Pony was grinning all over his face. "Hey Darry!" he yelled. "It's your girlfriend on the phone."

Darry came out of the kitchen glaring at Ponyboy and snatched the phone from him cuffing him on the back of the head. "Hi Rose, just give me a minute, I just need to move the phone somewhere more private." He gave Pony and I both a stern look as we both laughed. It was funny for Darry to have a girl calling and funny to see the way he got so embarrassed about it all. Darry stretched the cord as far as it would go so that he could talk in his room away from the ears of his immature siblings. I guessed Rose was calling about her sister's party the following evening. I was going to the drive-in with Pony and Two-Bit. Steve and Soda were going on yet another double date, probably at the Dingo or maybe at Sarah's place if her Mom was working and she had to babysit.

Darry came back with the phone about 15 minutes later looking happy but trying not to reveal too much to me and Pony.

"So, is it all still on for tomorrow night?" I asked. I knew Darry wouldn't want to impart too much information about it but I had to ask.

"Why is my social life suddenly of such great interest to everyone?"

"Come on Darry, it's been so long since you had a social life, we're just happy for ya, that's all. We want things to go well with you and Rose." Pony said.

"Well, thanks, but I'll let ya know if there's anything worth talking about. And yes, I am going out with Rose tomorrow night, but just to her sister's birthday party, not a big date or anything, just a party. You guys are all out tomorrow night anyway, so you won't miss me." He smiled.

"We'll try not to." Pony said sarcastically.

"Talking of which, Bex you make sure you stay close to Two-Bit and Pony tomorrow. This is the first time you've been out since running into Caro and nobody wants a repeat of that."

"I know Darry, I will." I certainly didn't want to risk another encounter with Caro, not without the backup of my brothers or the gang. My bruises were only just going down and I didn't want a whole other set to replace them.

The next morning I persuaded Darry to drop me off at the library under the proviso that I would not leave until someone was there to pick me up an hour later. It had taken all my efforts to persuade him that I didn't need Pony or anyone else to accompany me, but thankfully I had succeeded in the end. I told him I had some research to do for a history essay, but I was really planning on popping to the bus depot which was right next door to get hold of the bus timetables for Denver. As soon as he had driven off I made my way across the street to the depot and into the ticket office.

"How can I help you?" asked the lady behind the desk.

"Erm, well I need to find out about bus routes between Bailey and Denver, Colorado, do you have any timetables I could have?"

"Colorado…" she muttered to herself, obviously trying to remember where they would have such information. "Let me just check." She walked over to a big filing cabinet in the corner of the reception and started rifling through. I kept my fingers crossed, hoping she would have what I needed. "Aha!" She said triumphantly holding up a booklet. "Here it is." She sat back down at the desk and started flicking through the booklet. "Here's the one. Looks like there's a bus goes every hour from Bailey general stores and goes into Denver. Whereabouts in Denver do you need to get to?"

"To South High School Maam."

"Well, you're in luck, this bus stops right outside South High School. Takes about 45 minutes to get there."

"Thank you Maam. Can I take the timetable with me?"

"No, sorry Miss. This is our only copy, but I can write the information down for you to take away. Let's see, it goes every hour at 30 minutes after and arrives at 15 minutes after the hour at the High school. First bus is at 7.30 in the morning. Buses go back to Bailey from the High school every hour on 45 minutes after the hour and the last bus goes at 6.45 in the evening. There I've written it all down for you. It's the number 12 bus and the fayre is a dollar for the return trip. Anything else I can help you with?"

"No Maam, that's everything I need. Thank you so much for your help."

"That's a pleasure Miss. Hope you enjoy your visit to Colorado."

"Thank you, I'm sure I will. Bye Maam."

I left the office, having to restrain myself from skipping! That had been a lot easier than I thought it would be and it was only 45 minutes to the High School from Bailey. I could be there, see Matt and be back all in a few hours and hopefully go unnoticed. I hurried back into the library and found some history books on the Civil War, so that I at least had a few notes to back up my cover story. I put the piece of paper the lady had given me safely in the front pocket of my bag, though I was sure I could remember everything she had told me anyway. I still hadn't decided whether to tell Matt I was coming or to make it a surprise. There was no way he was gonna expect me to turn up there in Denver and it would be fun to see the look on his face if I just showed up. I smiled to myself as I thought about it and my stomach squeezed in excitement at the thought of seeing Matt and being able to hug him and kiss him again. Two and a bit months was a long wait though, so I would have to contain myself till then.

I called Tara that afternoon, while Darry, Steve and Soda were outside working on the truck and Pony was off somewhere with Two-Bit and I told her the good news about the buses. She was pleased, but what she wanted to talk about was my upcoming birthday party the following Friday. I had conveniently put that out of my mind for now and was happy to let Tara be in charge as long as she stuck to my instructions and kept it small and low key.

"So, Melanie, Susie and Trish can all come on Friday and they are gonna bring a couple of guys with them, then I also asked Damon and Michael from our home room. They seemed keen and said they'd bring something to drink."

"How many people are Trish and the others bringing? Not too many is it Tara? I don't want it getting too big. You did tell them they have to leave by 10.30 didn't you?"

"Yeah, don't worry Bex. I'm sticking to what you told me. The girls are just bringing 4 other guys and that's all, okay? I haven't mentioned it to anyone else."

"What about that guy Craig from our Spanish class you were talking about?" I asked.

"I was gonna ask him but I chickened out."

"That's not like you Tara! Go on, ask him. I bet he'll come."

"Okay, I'll mention it to him on Monday, but he may want to bring his friend Brett who he's always hanging round with, so that will mean 2 more people at least."

"Well, 2 more is not gonna be a big deal, but that's gotta be it."

"Great. My sister has got some drinks and stuff left over from a party they had at her work and she says we can have them, so that's the refreshments sorted. You've got plenty of music haven't you?"

"Yeah, Soda's got tons of records too, so that's all fine. I'm still a bit nervous about all this. I don't want to even think about Darry getting wind of me having a party without asking his permission. He will not be happy.

"He's gonna be away Bex, how's he gonna find out? Soda won't be back till midnight if he's going to the races. It'll all be fine. We'll have fun and your brothers will never know a thing about it. I can't wait!"

"I guess it will be fun and no-one telling us what to do for once will also be refreshing! Anyway, I'll see you later at the drive-in, is Two-Bit picking you up?"

"Yeah, I'll see ya later. Be good and if you can't be good, be careful!"

"And you, bye!" I said with a laugh.

The rest of the weekend went by too fast. We had fun at the drive-in. I saw Caro and those girls there, but they were off in the distance and they made no attempt to come near us. All the same I was glad to have Two-Bit and Pony there as protection. I was sure they wouldn't dare to try anything with them around. Darry was out till after midnight at the party, which was most unlike him. I was asleep when he came in, but woke up when the door slammed shut behind him. I heard him talking to the guys in the living room, who were no doubt winding him up, but it sounded like he had actually had a good time. He was seeing Rose again on Monday and going to the movies with her. They were really getting on well and seeing a lot of each other.

At school the new semester was starting up in earnest now and it felt like hard work. I went to Tara's after school and called Matt again. This time I got him to call me back on Tara's number so that her Mom didn't throw a fit about the phone bill. It was so good to talk to him and I filled him in about the exams and the anticipated birthday party. I just wished he could have been there too and then I would have been so much more excited about it. I decided not to mention the Denver trip to him. Tara agreed with me that it would be fun to keep it as a surprise and just turn up there, but to try and get as much information out of him as possible about the competition, so that I knew when he was gonna be available. It would be nice to see him perform, but it would be a complete waste of a bus fayre if I only got to see him on stage and had to leave without actually talking to him. So I plied him for as much information as possible without sounding suspicious and said I would love to see a copy of the competition program with his name on it cos I was so proud of him. He didn't seem to think that was too strange thankfully and said he would mail me a copy when he had it.

Friday night came round quickly. Darry and Pony had gone early that morning for the competition, Darry had got the day off work for it. Soda had made me pancakes for my birthday breakfast, which was sweet of him, as he really was not great at getting up in the mornings. Him and Steve left at 6.00 that evening and Tara turned up at 6.15 with a car load of sodas and beer as well as nuts and chocolate and potato chips. It was more than enough to feed us, there should be only 14 in total, including me and Tara.

Tara insisted I dress up for the occasion, though I would have been happy to stay in jeans. On her insistence I wore the same green mini dress I had worn to Matt's party and Tara did my hair and make-up. We were all ready by 7.00 and I started sorting out the best records from Soda and my collections. I put on an Elvis record and started putting the snacks into bowls. Everyone started to arrive just after 7.40 and I found myself with a beer in my hand dancing to Hound Dog with Brett, who was Craig's best friend. He reminded me a bit of Two-bit, so he was good company, but there was nothing more to it than that. Tara was on her second beer and was getting much more up-close and personal with Craig, who seemed to feel the same way about her as she did about him. I smiled as I saw him twirl her around and then pull her in for a hug. Melanie, Susie and Trish were all dancing too. They had brought another friend called Amy with them as well as 3 older looking guys, who were maybe Pony's age. They were all smoking despite my pleas for them to only do so on the porch, but I had given up arguing. The older guys had already been drinking before they turned up and were making short work of the beers that Tara's sister had provided. There were only 2 6 packs left now as well as some cider that Craig and Brett had brought with them. Personally I was planning to move on to drinking Soda once I had finished the beer in my hand.

"You got any party games planned?" asked Colin, one of the guys, who seemed to be friendly with Trish.

"No, I didn't think anyone would be up for pass the parcel." Tara said with a laugh.

"No I had some other kind of games in mind. What about spin the coin?"

"Spin the coin?" I asked.

"Yeah, one person spins a coin on the table and calls out someone's name and that person has to stop the coin before it falls down. If they don't make it, they down their drink."

"Sounds boring." I said, not too sure this was a good idea.

"It's fun, go on, let's try it." Said Sam, one of the other guys, who seemed to be glued to Susie's side.

"It's worth a try." Said Tara with a grin, she was already a little worse for wear having downed her third beer.

"Okay, let's clear the table." I said "Who's got a coin?"

Colin slammed one down on the table. "I'll spin first." He said. We all gathered around the coffee table and Colin brought out a bottle of tequila that he had obviously been saving for the occasion. Craig grabbed some glasses from the kitchen and Colin shared out the tequila. "Everyone got a drink now?" Colin asked. "Here goes." He spun the coin and called out "Birthday girl!" I was expecting him to call out Trish, so I wasn't ready and before I could get to it the coin fell flat on the table. "Down your drink!" I knocked back the glass of tequila and nearly spat it out, it was very strong and it tasted foul. Then it was my turn to spin the coin. "Tara!" I called out and she deftly caught the coin before it fell down. She spun next and called me again. "Hey, that's not fair!" I complained as the coin fell flat again. I gulped down another shot and this time called out Trish, who had to take a drink, but again she called me out. I gulped down my third shot.

"Another drink for the birthday girl!" Sam called out and my glass was refilled. The game carried on in the same vein for some time and I was called out twice as much as anyone else and the chances of my ever catching the coin before it fell on its side dwindled as the alcohol went to my head. I was now on my seventh shot of tequila and that was a lot for me, especially as I had never drunk before. I guess this was everyone's way of getting me to have fun on my birthday and I did feel kinda relaxed and mellow, but I was also felt dizzy and very unfocused. After about 20 minutes the game kinda fizzled out and someone turned the music up to get the dancing going again. Most people had had too much to drink by now and there were 3 couples making out, including Tara and Craig. I was feeling pretty zoned out on the couch and Brett came over to talk to me.

"Are you okay?" he asked.

"I dunno." I slurred. "I feel pretty weird."

"Do you wanna go out for some fresh air? It might help." He suggested.

"Yeah, can you help me up?" I giggled. He pulled me up off the couch and then steadied me as I swayed on my feet, putting his arm around me to guide me to the porch. I really had had no intention of drinking anything at all and now here I was drunk. I needed to sober up fast, before any of my brothers came back. At least everyone seemed to be enjoying the party. The guys that had come with Trish and the others were starting to get a bit rowdy though and I was afraid they were gonna do something stupid soon. I would have to kick everyone out if it got any worse. It was already 10.00 anyway. We made our way out onto the porch and the cold February air did bring me to my senses a bit, but I felt really queasy and suddenly knew I was gonna throw up.

I put my hand over my mouth "I think I'm gonna be sick." I said and Brett quickly dragged me to the edge of the porch as I threw up into the bushes at the edge. "Sorry." I groaned.

"It's okay."

"I never drank before." I explained to him. "I wasn't planning on it tonight either, but everyone was getting at me, so I gave in."

"I know. Hey, is that someone you know?" he asked as Two-Bit came up the porch steps. Suddenly I felt sick again, but this time for a different reason.


	30. Chapter 30 - The Aftermath

**_Thanks to the lovely people who reviewed the last chapter and sorry for taking so long to update. I had too much other stuff going on to get down to writing anything! Please read and review, I am flagging a bit with motivation at the moment and need your encouragement to keep going! Thank you!_**

Chapter 30

**The aftermath**

I was speechless. I couldn't even answer Brett's question but just stared at Two-Bit guiltily. There was no way to explain any of this away. The music was blaring out of the house and the 12 teenagers inside were being extremely loud. I wasn't sure if Two-Bit had just seen me throwing up, so I could at least still try and hide the fact that I had been drinking. Everything else I hoped he wouldn't be too bothered about.

"What the heck is going on here Bexster?" Two-Bit said looking puzzled.

"Oh, there's just a few people here for my birthday that's all." I said trying to form my words carefully, so Two-Bit wouldn't notice I was drunk, but he was no fool. He came over to me on the porch and grabbed my arm, lifting my chin to look him in the eye.

"You've been drinking!"

"No, I haven't." I foolishly tried to deny it. Even if I hadn't been slurring my words he must have been able to smell it on my breath.

"Becky I ain't no fool and I know when someone has been drinking. What do you think you're playing at? You're far too young to be drinking and you could get into all sorts of trouble that you don't mean to when you're drunk…who is this loser anyway?" he gestured to Brett and Brett backed away holding his hands up like he was surrendering.

"I ain't done nothing." He stuttered.

"That's Brett, he's my friend, he was just helping me cos I felt a bit ill."

"A bit ill huh? Well, that ain't surprising, how much have you had anyway?" Two-Bit demanded.

I shrugged. "I dunno one beer and some tequila. You ain't gonna tell Soda and Darry about this are ya?" I slurred and as the realisation that I was now in deep trouble hit so the tears came.

"Damn straight I am. I know you want me to be your friend Bex and this is me being your friend. You ain't gonna drink again till you're 21 if I have anything to do with it."

"You drink all the time Two-Bit and you're only 19."

"Yeah, well I'm a lost cause, but you're not. I don't want you to end up like me."

"Please don't tell, Two-Bit. It's my birthday."

"Well, happy birthday Bexster! My present to you is an ass whooping from your big brother so that you don't go off the rails. Now let's get inside and break this party up." Two-Bit snarled at me. He was mad, as mad as the time when he had found me and Matt together on the couch. I was annoyed with him too. Why did he think he had the right to play the heavy. It's not like he was all sweet and innocent. He always had a beer in his hand, he was always up to some kind of mischief, illegal or not.

"You ain't the boss of me Two-Bit. This is my house and I can have my friends around if I want to." I yelled. Two-Bit looked taken aback for a moment, but then he just looked stern.

"That's the alcohol talking Rebecca so I will choose to ignore it." He grabbed me by the arm and tried to pull me through the door.

"Hang on!" I squealed. "I think I'm gonna throw up again." Two-Bit quickly yanked me to the side of the porch and I emptied my guts into the bushes again and again. It felt like it was never gonna stop and by the end of it I was weak and sweating and had to lean against Two-bit just to stay upright.

"You finished?" Two-Bit asked in a gentler tone than before. I nodded and groaned. "Let's get you some water and get rid of your guests."

"Ok." I said quietly. I was in no mood to fight anymore and felt awful. I was glad Two-Bit was here to take care of me, even if I was in a whole heap of trouble. Two-Bit, put his arm around me and guided me inside. Tara and Craig were making out on the couch and Two-Bit gave Craig a shove with his foot. "Okay Romeo, let's break it up. We need the couch." Tara looked up in surprise at hearing Two-Bit's voice then looked at me with wide eyes realising this meant big trouble for me.

Craig reluctantly got up having given Two-Bit the once over and realised he was a lot bigger than him and so not worth the fight. He attempted to pull Tara up after him. "Tara's staying here." Two-Bit said in a no nonsense tone and Craig shrugged and raised his eyebrows at Tara before walking off.

"Hey!" said Tara annoyed at Two-Bit's interference. Two-Bit just raised his eyebrows at her and she shut up. She was drunk and although Two-bit was not in charge of her, she knew that he and the gang looked out for her, which meant they also tried to lay down the law when they thought it was necessary. Now, Tara knew, was one of those times. Two-Bit had to know that she was the mastermind behind the party because it was her thing, not mine. She knew he was as mad at her as he was at me and seeing her making out with Craig had not helped her case.

"You're too drunk to know what you are doing Tara, it's best to let him go now and see if you still like him when you're sober." He drawled sarcastically. He sat me down on the sofa and told me to lie down while he got me some water.

"Okay everyone!" he shouted loudly "Party's over, everybody out!" Everyone looked round, surprised to see Two-Bit and they all slowly filed out of the door, some of them complaining, some of them giggling. Trish was asleep on the kitchen floor and Two-Bit had to prod her with his foot to wake her and then made sure she had someone to walk home with before showing her the door too. He brought me a big glass of water and one for Tara too.

"Drink that all down." He commanded. "It'll help sober you up a bit." I sat up to drink the water and only then did I notice the state of the house. There were empty beer and soda bottles everywhere. The coffee table was upended from some game that the guys had decided to play. There was a strong smell of vomit coming from somewhere where somebody had obviously thrown up. I noticed several cigarette burns in the couch that hadn't been there before and to my horror I saw that one of the kitchen windows was also smashed. Sam and Colin and the others had decided to try and play indoor football. I don't know why none of this had registered before or why I hadn't even tried to stop them. I must have been in some kind of tequila induced stupor to allow things to get so out of hand. Even if Two-Bit hadn't discovered us, all of this would have been very hard to hide from Darry, Soda and Pony when they got back.

"Oh man!" I groaned. "Look at the place."

"Yeah, looks like that was one heck of a party you threw." Two-Bit said, almost grinning.

I ran my fingers through my hair in a nervous gesture "Darry is gonna kill me! I didn't plan for any of this." Tears began to roll down my cheeks and Two-Bit stroked my head. He seemed less mad now that everyone had left and he had had the chance to calm down a bit.

"This was one stupid stunt Rebecca, what were you thinking?"

"It's my fault." Said Tara, who seemed to have sobered up a bit already. She was more used to drinking than me and she had not had as many shots of tequila as I had. "This whole thing was my idea and then it just got out of hand. Becky didn't even want a party."

"Well, it was a pretty stupid idea Tara inviting all those older kids and all the drinking. You guys are only what 12?"

"I'm 13 now." I said quietly.

"I'm 14." Protested Tara who had her birthday round Christmas.

"You're too young to be drinking like that. You're gonna kill yourselves if you carry on and get yourselves into all kinds of trouble you don't want. That boy coulda taken advantage of you Tara, the state you're in."

Tara looked down at her hands, not enjoying being lectured by Two-Bit. "Craig's not like that. He's a nice guy."

Two-Bit snorted as if he knew better. "Anyhow, I'll leave the lecturing to your brothers Becky, for now we'd better get some of this cleared up so that Soda don't have a complete heart attack when he gets back."

I tried to get up off the couch, but still felt pretty dizzy and wobbly. "You'd better just sit there for a bit Rebecca and finish that water. Tara, go grab a garbage bag and pick up all the bottles. I'll try and locate the vomit. Someone obviously didn't make it to the bathroom in time." He wrinkled his nose in disgust at the smell.

Tara obediently traipsed off to get a black garbage sack and started picking up all the empties and the cigarette butts. I lay my head back on the couch and the whole room felt like it was spinning. I almost thought I was gonna throw up again, but it passed. I sipped at the water that Two-Bit had given me and started to feel a little bit better. Physically that is. Mentally I was in turmoil. I was mad at myself for allowing things to get so out of hand and for being so weak willed as to be talked into this in the first place. My stomach turned over, and not from the alcohol this time, as I thought about what my brothers were going to say. I had never done anything this bad, I knew they would be furious about my drinking on its own, without the rest of it; throwing the secret party and the house being trashed. I felt more tears roll down my face as I thought of my fate. Darry was gonna skin my behind for sure and I would probably be grounded till my next birthday. And what about the trip to Denver? Would they still let me go? It was meant to be my birthday present, so surely they wouldn't take it away from me, or would they? It's probably what I deserved after having betrayed their trust so much and behaved so stupidly. I was my own worst enemy when it came to making stupid decisions and destroying any hope I had of ever being trusted again.

Feeling less dizzy, I decided to try and right the coffee table and pick up some more trash. The room looked almost back to normal now, apart from the extra cigarette burns and the stench of vomit. I was grateful that Two-Bit had taken on the job of clearing that up, cos I sure couldn't have stomached that right then.

"Well, that was not how I envisioned spending my evening." Two-Bit said drily coming back from my room, where the vomit had been located.

"Thanks Two-Bit, I'm sorry you had to do that." I muttered feeling ashamed of the way I had let things get out of control.

"Well, it's better than it was, but we need to board that window up. Darry got any wood in the shed?"

"I think so, I can go take a look."

"You'd be better off tidying up Darry's room. It's a real mess in there."

"Darry's room? Why was anyone even in there?" I said in horror. I hurried off in there to find all his bedding pulled off onto the floor, the contents of his laundry basket thrown around at random and a bottle of beer lying on its side on the rug. I sighed and started tidying up, remaking his bed and trying to get it back to Darry's usual high standards. He was the tidiest one of us all and his room was always clean and neat. I fetched a cloth and tried to clean the beer of his rug. It came off but left a big wet patch, which may or may not be dry before he got back. Then I noticed the picture of Mom and Dad which was normally on his bedside table was missing. I found it down the back of the table, but the glass was smashed. I would have to get him a new frame. I knew he would be upset about that, but at least the picture itself was not damaged. I felt a wave of shame as I thought about what Mom and Dad would think about my behaviour that night if they had been here.

By now it was nearly midnight and Two-Bit, Tara and I sat on the couch waiting for Soda to get back.

"You guys don't have to wait around." I said, hoping Two-Bit may leave and I could put off facing anyone till the morning.

"Nah, think I'll stick around and fill Soda in on all the gory details Bexster. Wouldn't want ya to leave anything out now would I?"

"I'm meant to be staying here anyhow." Said Tara.

"You don't have to, you know it's not gonna be pleasant when Soda gets here and even worse in the morning when Darry has his say about it all. You might not wanna be around for that."

"Well, this whole thing was my idea and my fault, so I'm not letting you face the music all on your own. I have to tell them it wasn't your fault. Maybe they'll go easier on you."

"Maybe." I muttered, but I didn't really think that Darry would care whose idea it was, as far as he would be concerned, I had let it happen and I had gone behind his back and on top of that I had been drinking and I couldn't blame anyone else but myself for that. "Maybe we should just go to bed and Soda may not even notice anything till morning anyway." I suggested.

"He'll be back any minute Becky, you may as well wait up. There's no way he ain't gonna notice the window and the smell in here. The porch light is broken as well, he's bound to notice that straight away."

"Oh, I didn't know that was broken too." I groaned "I am never gonna be forgiven for all this." My heart was sinking lower and lower, but at least I didn't have to wait too long before facing the inevitable, as Soda walked through the door right then.

Soda looked puzzled to see the three of us sitting there on the couch. "What's going on here?" He sniffed the air suspiciously. "Is everyone alright, was someone sick?"

"You could say that." Two-Bit smirked.

"What happened to the porch light? It looks like someone smashed it." I looked down at my hands in my lap avoiding eye contact. I didn't know what to say. I knew I couldn't hide what I'd done, but I didn't want to fess up either. That just seemed like suicide.

Soda's suspicions were aroused further by the silence and the furtive glances going on between me and Tara.

"Girls, you wanna tell Soda what's been going on here?"

Soda still looked puzzled, but he was starting to realise that I had been up to something and his face became sterner and more serious. "Rebecca?" he prompted.

"It was all my fault Soda." Tara interjected. "We had a few people over for Becky's birthday, Becky didn't want a party at all but I persuaded her that it would be a good idea. It just got a bit out of hand and a few things got broken…"

"You had a party?" Soda was incredulous and looked straight at me, ignoring Tara. Like I thought, my brothers would not be interested in whose idea it was, just in the fact that I had let it happen and behind their backs.

I nodded "Sorry Soda, I know I should have asked you and Darry first."

He shook his head. "You didn't ask cos you knew the answer would be no. I'm assuming that there was drink involved, judging by the smell of vomit and beer."

I nodded again as Soda came right up to me. He came right over to the couch and put his hand under my chin lifting my face so I was looking at him. "Have you been drinking too Rebecca?" he said in a steely tone.

I gulped before nodding again as tears filled my eyes. I knew he was going to be really disappointed in me and furious.

"I can't believe you did this! How could you be so stupid? How much did you have?"

I shrugged, not able to answer as I was crying too hard. "Quite a lot, judging by the fact that she was throwing up in the bushes when I got here." Two-Bit said. Thanks a bunch Two-Bit, I thought to myself. Way to drop me right in it. I glared at him through my tears, but he just glared back, not looking very Two-Bitish at all at that moment. He was mad at me for drinking and was not going to let me off lightly with my brothers.

"Man, I never thought you'd do something like this Bex. I really didn't." Soda sat down in the armchair and put his head in his hands. "I was meant to be in charge while Darry was away, he is going to go crazy when he finds out."

So, Soda was worried that Darry would be mad at him too? This could work to my advantage. "Well, maybe we don't have to tell him Soda? It's all cleared up now, I could just tell him I broke the window and everything else is okay."

Soda stared at me and I saw he was tempted, but then his look turned to anger again "Oh no little girl, you're not getting away with this that easy. Darry may be a bit mad with me for going out and leaving you, but he has to know about this. You can't be drinking at your age and inviting goodness knows who round to our house when we're not around to make sure you're safe is just as stupid. You are in so much trouble and you deserve it."

I swallowed the lump in my throat, not wanting to cry anymore. "I'm really sorry Soda, I didn't mean to drink so much. I was just gonna have one beer and that's all, but then someone wanted to play this game and I ended up losing all the time and drinking way too much Tequila. It was stupid I know and I feel really sick, isn't that punishment enough? I sure ain't ever gonna drink again if this is how it makes you feel, I promise you Soda. Can't you just punish me and keep it between us? Darry is gonna kill me." The tears came regardless of my efforts to keep them down.

"Well, I'm glad you seem to have learnt something out of all this, but I still think Darry needs to know. He ain't stupid Becky, he's gonna know something has been going on as soon as he walks in. The house stinks of booze and vomit, there's new cigarette burns on the couch, the porch light and the window are broken – the whole thing just shouts party. If we lie to him he's bound to find out and it will only make everything that much worse."

I knew he was right, but that didn't make the prospect of telling Darry any easier.

"You two better get to bed. I'll wait up for Darry and Pony." Soda said.

I stood up and swayed slightly. My head still felt fuzzy and I was scared to close my eyes and go to sleep, as every time I did my head spun and I felt like I might have to vomit again. Soda put his hand on my arm. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I just feel a bit dizzy." Soda shook his head and looked at me sadly. I knew I had let him down big time and I hated it. "I'm sorry Soda, I know it was stupid." I said sniffing back more tears.

He just nodded "Come on, let's get you to bed." He put his arm round me and guided me to my room where he pulled my bedcovers back. "Do you need help getting changed?"

I looked at him horrified, I didn't want him getting me dressed in my pyjamas like some little kid! "No! I can manage thanks Soda."

"What about you Tara, you feeling okay?"

"I'm fine Soda." She gave him a small smile as she lay down on her makeshift bed on the floor.

"Night girls. Try and sleep."

"Night Soda. Tell Darry I'm sorry."

"You can tell him yourself in the morning. I'm sure he'll have plenty to say to you then." Soda left closing the door behind him.

"Oh, I'm so sorry Bex. This was not how it was meant to happen." Tara said leaning up on one elbow to talk to me.

I shook my head, getting changed into my pyjamas and only just managing not to topple over as I did so. "It's not your fault Tara. I was the one who went along with it and I was the one who drank too much. I can't believe I ever thought that we would get away with this."

"If Two-Bit hadn't turned up we might have…"

"I doubt it. I am kind of glad he came and broke things up when he did. I dread to think what else might have happened if the party carried on too much longer. The guys were getting crazy and the whole house would have been wrecked."

"Yeah, I didn't think they would all get so out of hand."

I yawned and tried closing my eyes. This time the dizziness was a lot less and I felt myself drifting off to sleep, overcome by tiredness, despite the fear in the pit of my stomach about what Darry was gonna say. "Night Tara." I muttered, but she was already asleep too.


	31. Chapter 31 - Consequences

**_Thanks so much for all the reviews and encouragement._****_Hope you enjoy this chapter, which took me ages to finish!_****_Sorry for that!_**

**Chapter 31**

**Consequences**

I woke up the next morning with a pounding head and groaned as I glanced at the clock and saw it was only 6.00. I tried to roll over and go back to sleep, but my head was too bad and as I looked over and saw Tara on the floor snoring I was reminded of all that had gone on the night before. I groaned again and sat up to take a swig of the water in the glass by my bed. I tiptoed out to the bathroom to get myself some headache pills and have a pee. I hoped I would not bump into Darry as I was in no way ready to face him just yet. My stomach tightened at the thought of how mad he was gonna be. I crept back into my room, relieved not to have crossed paths with anyone on the way and almost tripped over Tara's feet. She murmured and turned over rousing from her sleep.

"Hey Bex." She said in a croaky morning voice.

"Hey Tara, sorry I woke you. My head is killing me, I had to go and get some headache pills. How are you doing?"

"I'm okay, I don't think I had as much to drink as you did."

"Don't remind me!" I groaned, laying back on my bed. "What on earth is Darry gonna say?"

"Maybe he's had the chance to calm down a bit overnight. At least Soda was the one to tell him last night and you didn't have to face him then…" Tara was trying to put a good spin on things, but we both knew that Darry was never going to be calm about this. He was gonna be furious and I didn't actually blame him. I felt stupid for the way I had let things get so out of control the night before and annoyed with myself for drinking so much. My biggest fear was that Darry was not gonna let me go on the Denver trip now and I just felt like kicking myself for having wasted such a great opportunity to see Matt. I definitely had not enjoyed myself enough the night before to make it worth losing out on that. I just gave Tara a half smile. I did appreciate her attempt to cheer me up even if it wasn't working.

"Try and go back to sleep, it's really early." Said Tara.

"Okay, I'll try." The headache pills were starting to kick in and as I lay back on my bed I found myself drifting off to sleep again, despite my trepidation at what was to come when I saw Darry.

When I next woke up it was much lighter outside. Glancing at the clock I saw it was already 9.00. Tara was just getting dressed and she smiled over at me.

"Feeling any better?" She asked.

"Much." I nodded "I needed that bit more sleep. I guess I'd better get up and face the music. I don't wanna give Darry another reason to be mad at me by making him kick my lazy butt outta bed!"

Tara giggled. "I think Soda's gone out already and I heard someone else in the kitchen just now. I think it must be Darry."

"I'm gonna go take a shower so at least I feel a bit more human when I face him." I said trudging off to the bathroom. Once we were both showered and dressed Tara and I ventured out into the kitchen to get ourselves some breakfast. There was still a slight whiff of beer in the air, probably where someone had knocked a can over on the living room rug. Darry was sitting at the table drinking coffee and reading the paper, as usual. My stomach turned over as I saw him, anticipating his anger and knowing I was in big trouble. He glanced up from the paper and looked at me coldly.

"Morning Rebecca, Tara." He said curtly.

"Morning Darry."

"Help yourself to some breakfast Tara and then after that you'd better head home cos I need to have a private chat with Becky."

I blushed and turned away from Darry to get myself a bowl of cereal. I didn't want to meet his gaze as I knew it would not be a friendly one.

"Thanks Darry, I just wanna say, I'm really sorry for last night. It was all my idea and Becky didn't have anything to do with it. I didn't mean for it to turn out like it did. I'll pay for the window…." Tara said trying to smooth things over for me. She was a good friend like that, but I knew that Darry would not let me off that easy. He knew Tara was trying to protect me and that I was not exactly an entirely innocent party in all this.

"Oh, so you forced the alcohol down Rebecca's throat then did you?" Darry asked Tara sarcastically.

"Not exactly, but…"

"I thought so. It's nice that you wanna help your friend Tara, but Rebecca has to pay for her own mistakes, you can't take all the blame. Becky could have easily said no when you suggested the party, she could have easily refused to drink and she could have done the right thing, but she chose not to, so this is down to her stupid choices, not just your stupid ideas." Darry said calmly. Maybe having the night to think this all over meant he was a bit calmer, so he wasn't yelling and throwing things, but I could tell he was far from calm under the surface. He was seething and had plenty to say to me once Tara had gone.

Tara looked at me sympathetically and I smiled at her, acknowledging her brave attempt to defend me from Darry, as fruitless as it was! We ate our breakfast in silence, with Darry's brooding presence at the table making it impossible to make casual conversation. After breakfast Tara packed up her stuff and left, saying she would give me a call later, probably to check I was still alive. I waved her off at the door and then scuttled off to my room waiting for the inevitable knock on the door from Darry.

I didn't have long to wait, 2 minutes later Darry knocked once on the door and then came in without waiting to be invited. He stood in the doorway with his arms folded and glared at me.

"So, you wanna explain to me what exactly you were thinking last night?" he snarled. I squirmed nervously as I sat on the bed.

"Darry, I'm so sorry, I know it was really stupid, it kind of all got out of hand."

"And you thought it would be okay to have a party without me or Soda there? You thought it would be okay to do that without even asking our permission?"

I looked down at my hands in my lap and shook my head. "I thought it was just gonna be a few people at first and then it just kinda grew into this big party. I didn't know there was gonna be drink there and I didn't mean for any of this to happen." I said. It was all true, I hadn't anticipated so many people when Tara had first thought of the idea and I hadn't thought I would be drinking. It just kinda happened.

"Yeah well it did happen. You're just lucky that Two-Bit came along when he did and broke things up for you. From what he was saying some of the guys were getting really outta hand. You wouldn't have been able to handle it on your own and especially not in the state you were in. You coulda got hurt or the house coulda burned down or anything….I really can't believe that you did this!" Darry had started off calmly but his voice got gradually louder as he thought of all the stupid things I had done.

"I am so sorry Darry." My voice cracked and tears started rolling down my cheeks, I really was feeling sorry and I think my whole repentant demeanour was helping to keep Darry's anger from getting too out of control. He could see I was sorry and I meant it.

"And drinking? You're only just 13 years old and you shouldn't even be thinking about drinking the way you did last night. Soda said you were really out of it and Two-Bit told me how sick you were. I am so disappointed in you, I really thought you were more sensible than that. Where did you get all the alcohol from anyhow?"

"Mostly from Sam's work – they had it left over from some party…" I mumbled. "I didn't plan on getting drunk Darry, it just sorta happened and I just got swept along with it all. There was this stupid drinking game and I kept on losing and having to drink more and more Tequila…."

Darry just shook his head, his face awash with disappointment. "Well, I told you what I would do to you if you ever drank, do you remember?"

I nodded and blushed, remembering how he'd said he'd skin my butt if I ever got drunk like Tara had at Matt's party.

"Let's get this over with then Rebecca. I really hope this gets it through to you that drinking is not good. You are far too young for starters and even if you weren't, getting drunk is always stupid. I hope a good spanking will help you remember that the next time you even think of taking a sip of liquor."

"I promise I won't ever drink again Darry. Please don't do this, I hate it." I pleaded.

"Well, that's kinda the point Rebecca, You're not meant to like it. Come on." He sat next to me on the bed and indicated for me to lay across his lap. Reluctantly I did so. I was wearing a skirt, so he just flipped it up instead of making me take it right off. "Okay, you know why you are getting spanked. You went behind our backs and had a party, you put yourself in danger and you drank. I hope this will remind you to never even think of doing any of those things again."

I tensed up waiting for his hand to fall, 'just get on with it Darry' I thought to myself. His hand came down with a loud thwack and I couldn't help but cry out. It felt like he was hitting me even harder than usual, but I don't know whether that was because I was just feeling so bad about the whole thing anyway. He hit me over and over until I was crying uncontrollably.

"Ow Darry, stop please, you're really hurting me." I tried to wriggle off his lap, but he just grabbed me tighter around my waist.

"Don't even think about it." He warned. I flopped back down, helpless to do anything else and he carried on spanking me. He must have hit me about 40 times, more than he had ever done before, but I knew this was the worst thing I had ever done and so the punishment was meant to fit the crime. When he stopped I just lay there crying and exhausted for a couple of minutes before Darry helped me get up. I stood in front of him and he reached his arms round to hug me.

"It's over," he said gently. "I'm sorry I had to do that. I'm always sorry when it has to get to this point Rebecca, I just hope it's a good reminder of how to behave next time you find yourself in a similar situation. I hope you'll remember how much you hated being over my knee and being punished and then you'll think again and make some better choices."

I was still sobbing into his chest, so I couldn't answer. "We still need to talk about the rest of your punishment and how you are going to pay for all the damage to the house." Said Darry, "But I think you need some time to calm down a bit first." He lifted me and lay me down on the bed, face first to avoid hurting my butt any more than it already was. I was still sniffling and not looking forward to the discussion Darry wanted to have later. I had a horrible feeling he was gonna stop me going to Denver and I was devastated at the thought of it. I looked up at Darry as he headed towards the door. "I'm really sorry Darry, I'll never do anything like this ever again, I promise."

Darry nodded and gave me a half smile. "I hope that's true Rebecca, but at the moment it's pretty hard to be able to trust you, so we will just have to give it time."

Everything I did seemed to break the trust between me and my brothers, I hated that they thought they couldn't believe me or rely on me to keep my word. I vowed to myself to stop deceiving them from now on. Then I remembered my plan to see Matt in Denver, which of course involved more deception and lies and I realised that it wasn't always gonna be black and white and sometimes I just needed to make the choice based on what was best for me and not just on being honest with my brothers. I wasn't gonna go out of my way to lie to them, but I would do so from time to time if it meant I could still see Matt and be with him. I always seemed to feel exhausted after Darry punished me and I drifted off to sleep as I lay there thinking about how to persuade Darry that I should still be allowed to go to Denver if he tried to stop me.

I woke up about an hour later and decided to get started on some homework to at least do something to get back in Darry's good books. I heard Soda come back in from work and knew that soon enough I would be called out to lunch and probably then have that promised 'discussion' with Darry about how I was gonna be punished for trashing the house. There was a knock on my door about 10 minutes later and Soda poked his head in.

"Hey Becky, how are you doing?"

"Okay Soda, just a bit sore." He knew what I meant, as I'm sure Darry had told him that he had spanked me.

"No hangover?" he asked, raising his eyebrows.

"Not really, my headache's gone now and I feel okay, just worried about what kind of punishment Darry has lined up for me, that's all."

Soda nodded, "Well, you do kinda bring these things on yourself Bex." He said.

"Thanks for the support." I snapped sarcastically, knowing I had no right really to expect his support, as I had lied to him just as much as I had to Darry and probably got him into trouble too since Darry didn't know he had been planning on going out that night and leaving me alone. I knew I was being unreasonable to be upset with him, but I couldn't help wanting at least one of them on my side.

"Really Bex? You think you are in a position to talk to me like that? I thought I could trust you and you let me down big-time last night. The worst thing is the drinking, I never thought you would go and get yourself drunk like that. How many times have I warned you against doing that? When I think what could have happened…." He raked his fingers through his hair.

"I know I was stupid Soda and I'm really sorry. I don't know what else I can say. I know you've done things in the past that you regret now and I regret last night a hundred times over. I wish it had never happened, but it did and I wish you could just forgive me and move on." I felt tears rising again and angrily wiped my eyes. I didn't want Soda's sympathy because I was crying, I wanted him to forgive me for real.

Soda sighed and came over to me wrapping me up in a hug and carrying me over to sit me on his lap on the bed. "I do forgive you honey, but I can't help feeling disappointed and I'm annoyed with myself too. I never should have gone out and left you like that, especially on your birthday. If I'd stayed home we could have done something fun that didn't involve anyone getting into trouble."

"It ain't your fault Soda. I just got swept along with Tara's big plans and then with all the guys there drinking, it was hard to say no. I was stupid and easily led and that's all. I won't be doing it again. I felt so ill last night and this morning, I've learnt my lesson."

"Well, that's something I suppose. We'd better go eat lunch, Darry asked me to come get you. I'll try and put a good word in for you, but you know how Darry is, once he is fixed on an idea he is not gonna easily change his mind, so you may just have to suck up whatever punishment he has in mind."

I nodded "Happy birthday" I said glumly to myself under my breath and Soda gently squeezed my shoulders as we joined Darry and Pony in the kitchen. Pony gave me a sympathetic smile and Darry told us to sit and eat. We had hamburgers and potato chips with a bit of salad, normally one of my favourite meals, but it was sticking in my throat as I was feeling too nervous.

"So Pony, your coach must be real pleased with you Buddy; 2 golds and a silver that's pretty impressive!" said Soda trying to get some pleasant conversation going.

Pony blushed and grinned. "Yeah, the rest of the team did pretty well too." He said trying to play down his success as usual. He hated the spotlight on him.

"You're his star though Pony, admit it!" Soda teased. Pony just laughed and shook his head.

"We're all real proud of you little buddy." Darry said with a smile and Pony blushed even redder and couldn't help grinning a bit wider. Praise from Darry meant a lot. I was so happy for him but at the same time it made Darry's disappointment with me at that moment seem so much worse. I wished for once I could get some attention from Darry which wasn't him yelling or spanking me or feeling generally let down by me. I wanted to make my brothers proud too. I looked down at my plate feeling miserable. Pony, who was sitting next to me noticed and gave my leg a squeeze sensing how I was feeling. He could be real sensitive when he felt like it.

Finally we all finished eating and Pony surprised us all by offering to do the dishes. He must have been in a good mood after his success the day before!

"Time to talk some more about last night." Darry said grabbing my arm before I could go off to my room and leading me into the living room. I reluctantly sat down on the sofa and Soda sat in the armchair, probably so that he could make sure it didn't escalate into an argument between me and Darry. Darry perched opposite me on the coffee table.

"You know what you did last night was really stupid and we've already talked about the drinking and the lying, so I'm not gonna go on about it but we do have to talk about the rest of your punishment and about paying for all the damage. We can't afford to be replacing windows or lights or anything else, you know that."

I nodded "I know Darry, I didn't mean for that to happen, I'm sorry."

"I know you are. Okay so, Two-Bit, Steve, Soda, Pony and I had all clubbed together to give you the money for that trip to Denver for your birthday. I think it would only be fair if you used that money to pay for the damage instead."

"But Darry…"

He held his hand up to stop me talking. "I know this was meant to be your birthday present and it seems unfair for you to lose out on your gift, so I have a compromise for you."

I perked up a bit sensing there may be a bit of light at the end of the tunnel and that maybe there was still a chance I could go to Denver after all.

"The damage will only cost around 20 dollars and I can do the work myself, so that still leaves you with 20 dollars towards your trip. If you can raise the other 20 dollars somehow then you can still go. You can thank Soda and Pony for persuading me cos my natural instinct would be to say you can't go at all after you went behind our backs the way you did. I don't think we can trust you, but Soda and Pony seem to think it would be too much to take this away from you, so consider it part of your gift that you are allowed to go still."

I was feeling mixed emotions right then. I was thrilled that the trip wasn't completely banned for me but how on earth was I gonna raise 20 dollars between now and the next 2 weeks when the money had to be in at school? It seemed impossible.

"Thanks Darry. I promise I won't let you down." Even as I said that I felt a wave of guilt, as I knew if I did raise the money and get to go on the trip that I would have to lie to them again, or at least that I would be going behind their backs in order to do something I knew they would not approve of.

"Pony had lots of good ideas for ways to make you some money." Soda said with a smile.

"He did?"

"Yeah, even said he'd help ya. Something about cleaning cars, selling cookies, walking dogs. It means you'd have to go to the Soc side of town though, so I think Darry or I should be there to back you up."

"You mean I'm not grounded?" I asked incredulously.

"I didn't say that." Said Darry "You are grounded, so no TV and no going out after school for 2 weeks, but I will make an exception if it's for work."

I stood up and flung my arms around Darry. I really couldn't believe he was being so lenient after the awful things I had done. Maybe it was because it was my birthday he was being softer than usual. Anyhow, I wasn't gonna question it too deeply, I was just glad of it and relieved that with a little bit of effort I could get enough money together to go and see Matt.

"Thanks Darry!"

He laughed at my enthusiastic response. Then Soda produced a parcel from down by the side of the armchair.

"Here Bex, happy birthday, this is from all of us."

I looked at him questioningly. "I thought I was getting money for the trip?"

"This is a little something to go with it."

I grinned and took the brown paper package from him. It was quite heavy and about the size of 2 large cereal boxes stuck together. Pony appeared from his room to witness me opening the gift. I tore the paper off and inside was a large shoe box which when opened revealed a new pair of brown leather cowboy boots! They were really cute and I loved the smell of the leather as I opened the box. I couldn't stop grinning. I rarely got new shoes, sometimes getting Pony's hand-me-down sneakers or ones from a thrift shop and I never had real leather shoes or boots. For me this was a real treat.

"Oh, I love them! Thank you so much!" I hugged Soda, then Darry and finally Pony, who stood stiffly and allowed me to, although he still wasn't much one for hugs from me! I then kicked off my sneakers and immediately slipped the boots on. They fit like a glove and I loved the cool feel of the leather on my feet.

"Looking good!" said Two-Bit coming into the house without knocking as usual. I grinned at him and surprised him by giving him a big hug too.

"Thanks Two-Bit! I love these boots, I'm gonna wear them all the time, even when it's 100 degrees outside!"

The guys all laughed at me and my girlish enthusiasm over something as unimportant as a pair of boots. Tara would have understood though and so would Sandy or Evie or Cathy. A new pair of shoes could really fill you with happiness.

"Okay Missy, I'm glad you like them so much, now unless you are gonna start doing some work to earn a bit of that cash you need, then I need you to go to your room. You're still grounded remember?"

Not even Darry's sobering reminder of my punishment could bring me down. I just smiled and went off to my room where I lay on my bed just looking at my boots for a good 10 minutes before going back to my homework. Everything felt a lot more hopeful than it had when I had woken up with my pounding head that morning. Darry wasn't as mad as he could have been, the guys were being kind to me because it was my birthday and I hadn't completely lost out on the trip to Denver. All I had to do was to put my mind to some money making schemes to get that 20 dollars. I had to hand it to him, Darry knew how to give out constructive punishments. It made sense to me that I had to work to pay for the damage that I had caused to the house and it didn't seem unfair or cruel. He was good at this guardian business even despite the spanking, which I could definitely do without!


	32. Chapter 32 - Show me the money

**_Thanks to those who read and reviewed the last chapter – please review again! I am not particularly happy with this chapter and it's a little shorter than usual, but I wanted to get it out there as I'll be going away for the next month, so won't be able to do any more writing till the middle/end of August. I promise I will carry on then!_**

Chapter 32

**Show me the money**

As usual when I was grounded the weekend was slow and boring, like watching paint dry only less entertaining! I was stuck in my room and not allowed to come out except for meals. On the plus side I did get all my homework finished and I did have time to try and make a plan for earning some of the $20 I needed. Pony had agreed to go with me after school the next day to go door to door offering to do chores for people on the soc-side of town. We were gonna try round Matt's old neighbourhood, as the people there would probably be willing to offer us work, unlike the totally filthy rich Socs a few blocks over, who wouldn't let us past their security fences to even ask.

That Monday Two-Bit came to collect us for school as usual and Tara grinned at me as I got in the backseat.

"Hey!" she said enthusiastically.

I smiled back at her but was puzzled by her level of enthusiasm. "Hey Tara. Are you okay?"

"I'm just fine." She winked at me and then after making sure that Two-Bit and Pony weren't looking she handed me a blue envelope. It was from Matt and I grinned back at her. I hadn't heard from him for over a week and was so happy to have news from him. I slipped it into my bag to read when I had a bit more privacy, but already my day was feeling brighter. "Thanks!" I mouthed to Tara and she just squeezed my hand in response.

"So Bexster, you recovered from your wild night on Friday yet?" Two-bit asked from the front.

I blushed remembering how he had seen me in such a state that night. I was ashamed that he had had to see me throwing up and worse for wear from drinking too much. He had been mad at me and I didn't blame him. I hadn't seen him to talk to at the weekend, other than to thank him for my birthday gift, as I'd been banished to my room the whole time.

"Yeah, I'm fine thanks Two-Bit. Sorry for causing you so much trouble." I muttered.

"Yeah, I'm glad I was there to help you out Bex, it could have all gone so much worse otherwise." He raised his eyebrows at me in the mirror.

"I know. It won't be happening again, don't worry."

"I sure hope not or I might have to whip your butt as well as Darry."

"Two-Bit!" I yelled indignantly. He just looked at me in the rear-view mirror with a piercing stare, not giving me his usual grin.

"Yeah, just think of that next time you're about to have a drink of anything stronger than a Pepsi, got it?" he said seriously.

"Got it." I said blushing. I was sure he wouldn't really whip my butt, but I knew he was serious about me not drinking again. There was no way I was planning to repeat that mistake in a hurry so there was no fear of him having to carry out his threat anyway. Despite it being annoying that he felt he had the right to tell me what to do I was actually grateful that he cared so much and looked out for me like another brother. When we reached school Tara and I jumped out.

"Be good, girls." Two-Bit gave his usual parting comment.

"You too, boys." I retorted. "Meet you in the parking lot when school's out Pony." Steve was gonna give us a lift to Matt's old neighbourhood so we could drum up some business and then Soda was gonna pick us up from there when his shift finished at 4.30.

I was desperate to open up Matt's letter, but there was no opportunity to do so till lunch. I didn't want to get myself in trouble by trying to read it in class and I didn't want to have to rush reading it by looking at it in whilst walking between classes. I wanted to savour it. Tara and I raced out when the lunch bell rang and went to sit in our favourite spot under a tree outside the cafeteria.

"I can't believe you managed to wait so long to open Matt's letter!" Tara exclaimed.

"I nearly gave in, but I wanted to be able to enjoy it and not rush it or hide it under my desk." I smiled as I pulled the envelope out. I ripped it open to find a birthday card with a picture of a gondola in the canals of Venice on the front. So sweet! He had remembered our conversation about going there, he really was thoughtful. As I opened the card I gasped as a $10 bill fell out as well as a small package wrapped in white tissue paper.

"Oh my goodness, $10!" Tara yelled.

"I know! This means I'm halfway to getting my trip to Denver already! Matt's so generous." I couldn't stop beaming.

"Well, he does have a lot of money Becky, of course he should spend it on you!"

I elbowed her with a grin and started to open the small package.

"What is it?!" Tara said impatiently, enjoying this as much as me.

Inside the paper was a small, blue, velvet pouch. I opened it up and peered inside to find a beautiful silver charm in the shape of a bird. It was really pretty and delicate. Matt sure had good taste. I put it carefully back in the pouch once Tara had finished oohing and aahing over it. I finally then read Matt's letter, which was shorter than normal as he said he was in a rush to get my card to me on time. I was amazed that he had remembered my birthday at all as I had only told him when it was right when we first started dating. He told me that the bird charm was to add to the necklace he gave me and it was a Jay, to remind me of all those lunchtime burgers we had had at Jay's diner before he moved away. The money was to treat myself to something else as he couldn't be there to take me out. He always put so much thought into everything, I felt so lucky to have such a sensitive, loving boyfriend even if he was so many miles away.

I felt on a high for the rest of the afternoon, having heard from Matt and received such a wonderful gift. Also now that I had half the money in my hand getting the cash to go to Denver suddenly seemed possible and no longer a pipe dream. I wasn't sure how I was gonna explain away the $10 to Pony, but I would think of something. I was itching to get started on those chores and get the next $10. I was hopeful that I may even have everything I needed by the end of the afternoon.

I got held up coming out of school as Miss Haswell wouldn't let us leave till she had finished going on about some essay we had to do on Romeo and Juliet. I made my way quickly to the parking lot knowing that Steve would be annoyed at being kept waiting.

"About time Becky, I was about to go without you." He complained as I walked over to him and Pony. I was only 5 minutes late, but that was Steve for you, he had to make a point. He didn't actually mind giving Pony and me a lift places, but he liked to make us think that it was a huge inconvenience for him.

"Sorry, Miss Haswell kept us all in late."

"What'd you do this time?" Steve smirked.

"Nothing!" I said innocently. "She just likes the sound of her own voice too much, that's all."

Steve grunted "Likely story." He muttered. He was probably disappointed not to have some misdemeanour of mine to report back to Soda and get me into trouble! "Come on then, get in the car, I'm gonna be late for my shift if we waste any more time."

"You're the one who's been gabbing on." Muttered Pony and I smiled. Him and Steve were always getting at each other. We clambered into the car and sped off to the west side of town. Steve dropped us off outside Matt's old house and Pony and I looked at each other, not quite sure where to begin.

I hoped my cast was not gonna stop people from entrusting their chores to me. I was not the obvious candidate for work with only one functioning arm, but it was my left arm and I knew it wouldn't stop me doing pretty much anything, especially with Pony there to help me. I had another 3 weeks to go before the cast came off and I couldn't wait. It was now at that annoying itchy stage and it was becoming smelly and a real bore!

"Well, shall we try Matt's old place? They only moved in a while ago so they may have a few jobs for us." Suggested Pony.

"Well, it's as good a place to start as any."

I felt nervous as we walked up the drive and Pony rang the doorbell. We heard footsteps approaching and a woman dressed in the usual soc get up of twin-set and pearls answered. She was probably about the same age as my Mom. She looked puzzled as she saw who was on her doorstep.

"Oh, hello, can I help you?"

"Well actually, we were wondering if there was anything we could do to help you." Said Pony blushing. I was glad he was doing all the talking as I was too shy, but I knew that it didn't come natural for him either. "My name's Ponyboy and this is my little sister Becky. Do you have any jobs you need doing round the house or the garden? My sister is trying to raise some money so she can go on a school-trip to Denver." The lady looked over at me and I tried to smile politely.

"Well, I guess the lawn could do with raking and we have a stack of wood ready for chopping for the woodpile."

"Sure, we can do that Maam. Thank you." Pony said with a smile.

The lady smiled back. I'm sure to her eyes we were poor and shabby but I could tell she had us worked out right. She knew we were good kids and not tough hoods to be scared of. Pony could never be a tough hood, he was just too sweet and sensitive and it usually didn't take long for people to work that out if he wasn't trying to put on a show of how tough he was, like he did around the gang sometimes.

"Let me show you where the tools are." She said leading the way round the back of the house. There was the huge lawn I remembered from when I had sat up on the porch with Matt that time. It looked even more impressive in the daylight and it was gonna take a good while to rake all those leaves up, but it would be worth it. It was fitting that the first job to raise money in order for me to go and see Matt was at his old house.

For about 40 minutes Pony and I worked our butts off. Me raking up endless leaves and him working up a sweat chopping huge logs into pieces small enough for the fireplace and stacking them in the wood pile. The lady, whose name was Mrs MacDonald, brought us out some lemonade halfway through. She was really was a nice person. When we had finished we put our tools back in the shed and knocked on the back door this time.

"All finished?" Mrs MacDonald asked.

"Yes Maam."

She scanned her eyes over the lawn and to the woodpile. "Wow, you two have worked hard and you've done a great job. Here's a dollar each. I hope you manage to get all you need to go on your trip young lady."

I blushed and smiled at her. "Thank you Maam."

"Bye now, good luck." She said and closed the door.

"Well, $2 that's not a bad start." Said Pony.

"Well one of them is yours." I said.

"No, we're doing this for your trip Bex, if I take half the money it's gonna take us twice as long to get what you need. This is all yours." He said, handing me his dollar.

I grinned at him, pushing my dishevelled hair out of my face. "Thanks Pony, that's really sweet of you."

He gave me a shove, "Well, no time for sitting around chatting, we've got work to find if you wanna raise another $18."

"Well, actually, I already got $10. Tara still had money left over from her Dad and she felt bad cos the party was her idea, so she gave it to me towards the trip." Of course that wasn't true, but I hoped that Pony would buy it as the reason for why I suddenly had half the money already.

"Really? Wow, that was generous of her. Great, that means we only have to raise another $8! That shouldn't take too long."

Unfortunately, the next few houses we knocked on were not as welcoming as Mrs MacDonald had been. They took one look at us, assumed we were two unreliable greaser kids and slammed the door in our faces. We were feeling pretty fed up until at the next house an old man, Mr Gordon, asked us to clean his windows. Thankfully it was a single storey house, as I was sure Darry would not have been too happy with Pony and I clambering up ladders to earn our cash. He gave us a dollar for our troubles and we earned another $2 by cleaning cars at 2 more houses. By that time it was 4.30 and we had to give up and make our way back to Matt's old place for Soda to pick us up. Still, it wasn't bad for one afternoon's work. We had managed to make $5, so half of what I needed. One more afternoon like that and I would be on my way to Denver!

Soda skidded to a halt outside Matt's place, or Mrs MacDonald's place as it now was. He was driving way too fast as always!

"Hey guys, hop in!" He yelled at us through his window with his customary grin.

"Hey Soda. Thanks for picking us up." I grinned back clambering into the back while Pony rode shotgun as per usual.

"How did you get on?"

"We did pretty good." Pony said "Made 5 bucks already. Won't take long to get the money Bex needs at this rate."

"That's great! Were the folks okay with you knocking on their doors?"

"Mostly, some were really nice, like Mrs MacDonald who lives in Matt's old place, others slammed the door in our faces as soon as they saw us!"

"Maybe I should come with ya next time, in case any of them get funny with ya." Soda said suddenly getting worried.

"We handled it just fine." Said Pony, irritated that Soda seemed to be implying he couldn't look after himself. He was always touchy about the gang trying to protect him. I knew how he felt!

"I'm sure you did Buddy." Soda clapped him on the shoulder and Pony just smiled at him.

"Hey Soda, can I give Tara a call when we get in? I just wanna fill her in on how we got on." I also wanted to warn her what I had told Ponyboy about her giving me that $10 in case he mentioned it to her the next morning before I'd had a chance to tell her.

"Well Darry said you had to go straight to your room when we got in, you're grounded remember?"

"Yeah, I hadn't forgotten, but I'll be real quick, please Soda." He looked at me in the mirror and I gave him my best puppy dog eyes.

"Oh, okay Bex, but it has to be real quick. Darry will be mad at me if you're there yabbering on the phone when he walks in."

I smiled, "Sure Soda, thanks!"

I ran into the house as soon as Soda pulled up and grabbed the phone while Soda and Pony were having a wrestling match in the yard on their way in. I was true to my word and made it a really quick call, just warning Tara about the story I'd made up to explain Matt's $10 gift. I then disappeared into my room till dinner. It was Soda's turn tonight so we ended up with green rice and fried chicken with banana. It was actually delicious if you didn't think too hard about the green rice!

The rest of that week I tried to keep my nose clean at school, avoiding any trouble. I didn't want to risk anything else getting in the way of my being allowed to go to Denver. Tuesday and Wednesday Pony had track so it wasn't until Thursday that we could go and do some more work and try and earn the rest of the cash. We lucked out again, as Mrs MacDonald spotted us and immediately asked if we could do some weeding for her and mow the lawn. We worked for around an hour with a small break for lemonade and cookies and she gave us $3. She was being extra generous. We avoided the houses where the people had slammed the door in our faces the previous time and tried the opposite side of the street. After a couple more rejections we were asked to sweep the driveway by a cheery young housewife, who gave us a dollar for our trouble. Her neighbour got us to rake up all the leaves on his lawn and to wash his car, giving us $2.50. Now we were over target but we decided to carry on till the end of the street and earned a further $2 by the time Soda came to pick us up.

While we were waiting for Soda to turn up it struck me that it was a mixed blessing having earned the money so quickly and easily. I still had a week and a bit of grounding to serve out and now I would have to endure it whilst being confined to my room. I had enjoyed the freedom of being out and about with Ponyboy, even though we had been working hard the whole time. I started plotting a scheme in my head, which would work as long as Ponyboy was willing to go along with it. It would give us both a bit of freedom and would mean I didn't have to spend another 8 days completely housebound.

"Hey Pony, thanks for all your help with getting the money. I couldn't have done it on my own, Darry wouldn't have let me anyway!"

"No, he wouldn't. I've quite enjoyed it actually and it's encouraging to see that not all socs are narrow minded snobs." He grinned.

"Yeah, I was thinking, maybe we shouldn't let on to Soda and Darry that we raised all the money already, then we could get a few hours of freedom next week."

Ponyboy looked at me puzzled. "What d'ya mean?"

"Well, we could say we were going off to do some jobs and then do something we really wanna do instead. Maybe something that Darry wouldn't normally let us do…..I know you'd rather be at the movies than made to go straight home and do your homework."

Pony looked thoughtful. I knew I'd got him there. He loved going to the movies alone, but Darry rarely let him do that and especially not on a school night. I knew Pony was tempted by my plan.

"But what about Soda coming here to pick us up?"

"Well, maybe we could say we made other arrangements? Maybe we could say that Sam was gonna bring us back or one of your track friends…. I dunno. I'm sure we could come up with something they'd swallow."

"What are you planning to do with the time? Nothing stupid I hope?"

I scowled at him "No, I dunno, maybe just go to Tara's or something, anything is better than being stuck in my room all afternoon. I may even do my homework with Tara, but at least I wouldn't be bored out of my mind all alone."

"I'm not sure Bex, you have a talent for getting found out about these things. I don't know if we should risk it. Darry will be mad with both of us if he finds out we've been lying to him."

"Well, I know that, but why should he find out? He'll be at work the whole time anyhow and we'll be back home the same time as normal, so there's no need for him or Soda to be suspicious."

"Hmmm." Pony said non-commitally.

"So, whadya think?" I prompted him.

"Okay, we'll give it a shot next Monday. There's a movie showing at the Rio that I really wanna see."

"Great Pony!" I said linking my arm through his and giving it a squeeze. I was relieved that I could at least have 2 days off the grounding again the next week. My sentence seemed less depressing if I could have a couple of days respite in between. I knew it was a bit of a risk. I would probably get away with going to Tara's and back home without anyone being any the wiser, but Pony walking across town was at risk of being spotted by one of the gang or even Soda. He would just have to be careful which way he walked and make sure he was home at the same time as me. All of this was possible, so I was not going to presume the worst would happen. If Darry found out I would probably be grounded for twice as long and Pony too, but I would cross that bridge when I came to it. For now I was happy to have something positive to look forward to the next week, ie a couple of study dates with Tara and I was also happy that I had the money together for Denver. I was definitely going now.

"Hey Pony, you better keep the extra $3.50 – you can use some of it to pay for your movie and get some popcorn!" I winked at him and gave him a nudge. He smiled back.

"You know, you really are quite sneaky. I think hanging around Dally all those years must have rubbed off on you."

I felt a small twinge of sadness as I thought of Dally. I did miss him and his teasing and general swagger. I was surprised Pony brought his name up so naturally like that, maybe he was starting to be able to move on and remember him and Johnny without feeling so sad.

"I reckon you're right." I smiled at him, just as Soda screeched round the corner practically on two wheels. I wished he could just drive normally sometimes, but that was him all over. He threw himself at life in everything he did with energy and joy and that was what made him so loveable.

We told Soda and Darry that were still $10 short of the target, as they didn't know about the $10 I already had from 'Tara'/Matt. That way we set ourselves up for our plan for the following week. Before that I had to endure the world's longest weekend of grounding. Darry showed no mercy and I wasn't allowed out of my room at all except to eat, wash and pee! I even tried offering to tidy up our yard and do the washing up, but he wasn't having it. As he saw it I was getting out of my punishment enough already by doing the door to door chores with Pony. I tried to be gracious about it and take it on the chin, but it was hard not to feel a little fed up. I had finished my homework, tidied my room, finished my book and had my fill of listening to the radio all by Saturday evening and I still had the whole of Sunday to get through. I started making a list of what to take to Denver and wrote a letter to Matt, without revealing my plan to spring a visit on him of course! I got all my old letters from Matt out and re-read them all, fantasizing about what it would be like when I finally saw him. I still had another 6 weeks to wait, which was gonna seem like forever!


	33. Chapter 33 - Crime and punishment

**_I'm so sorry that the break was longer than I intended. Things have been hectic round here with school holidays and the start of the school term and I only now have had a bit of time to get writing again. I think this chapter is slightly shorter than my norm, but I wanted to get it out there before you forget me and don't want to read my story anymore! Hope you enjoy the chapter. Please read and please review so I know you are still out there and haven't given up on me for taking so long to write!_**

Chapter 33

**Crime and punishment**

The following week Pony and I put our plan into action. We had told Soda and Two-Bit that we didn't need picking up cos Pony's friend from track had offered us a ride. I had arranged to go to Tara's after school and Pony was going to the movies alone. He always preferred it that way, but was rarely allowed to as Darry never liked him to walk home alone. He had already been attacked once before and that was before all the stuff that went down with that Soc boy who Johnny killed. Now he had to be even more careful as some of Bob's friends were out to get him at any opportunity. Anyway, Pony didn't seem too worried. He just wanted to go and enjoy a movie and the chances were that he would be safe. It was just be pure bad luck if the Socs happened to be there the same time that he was walking home.

I was already feeling on a high that day because I had proudly handed in my envelope with the money for the Denver trip, so there was no turning back now. I was definitely going and I already started to plan out my trip to see Matt. I couldn't think of much else and Tara bore the brunt of my excitement. She was always such a good friend sharing my enthusiasm and listening to me witter on about how cool it was gonna be to surprise Matt and how I couldn't wait to see him again. To Tara's credit she didn't tell me to just shut up about it!

"Sorry for going on about Matt!" I apologised as we sat on her bed chatting, I realised that I had been hogging the conversation.

Tara grinned at me "I get it Bex, you're excited, I don't mind."

"No, let's change the subject." I said firmly. "How are things with you and Craig?"

Tara blushed and grinned even wider "He asked me on a date."

"What?! You let me sit here waffling on and didn't even tell me you had a date with Craig?!" I whacked her on the arm sharing her grin.

"Well, I couldn't actually get a word in edgeways if you remember!"

"Where's he taking you?"

"Oh, we're just going out on Friday night for a burger."

"What are ya wearing?!" I asked, knowing Tara had almost certainly planned her outfit down to the last detail.

"My yellow dress with the blue belt. You know the one that Sam just passed down to me?"

"Oh yeah, I know the one, that looks really cute on you. I'm so excited for you, he seems like a nice guy and he's gotta be better than Carl, right?!"

"Right! I really like him." Tara blushed again.

It was sweet to see her all gooey over a guy cos usually for her it was just a bit of fun or just for the status of having a boyfriend. I could tell she did actually really like Craig and I was pleased for her that he seemed to feel the same.

"Heck, it's nearly 5.00. I'm supposed to be meeting Pony at the lot so we can arrive home together, I'd better run. See ya tomorrow!"

"Bye Bex, sweet dreams tonight, we all know what they are gonna be about." She winked at me.

I laughed, "I could say the same for you!" I yelled as I raced out of the door.

5 minutes later I arrived at the lot out of breath from having run the whole way. There was no need to have rushed though, cos Pony wasn't there yet. I sat down on one of the old broken car seats to get my breath back. After 10 minutes I started to get anxious. He should definitely have made it back from the Movie house by now. His movie ended at 4.15 and it only took half an hour to walk from there. I wasn't sure what to do. If I arrived back at the house without him I would have to come up with a story as to why he wasn't with me, but what if he had got into trouble on his way back? It would be typical of Pony to be in a daydream and not notice there being Socs around. He really did live in a bit of a dream-world half the time, which is why Darry was always on at him about using his head. I hesitated for another 10 minutes. It must be getting on for 5.30 by now and Darry would be home soon. I would have to head back and if Pony wasn't home by 6.00 I would have to confess to where he had been.

I walked up the porch steps, spotting Steve's car outside meaning Soda must be back. I pushed the door open and started on my excuse,

"Hey, sorry I'm late Pony's friend got his car window broken, so we were a bit late leaving and then Pony went…."

I came to an abrupt halt in my spiel as I saw Pony on the couch with Soda next to him holding a bag of frozen peas to his cheek. Soda was glaring at me and Steve had a smirk on his face, knowing that I had been caught in a lie.

"What happened?!" I asked, concerned about Pony. He looked okay physically, apart from his cheek, but he looked pretty miserable. I guessed that Soda had already yelled at him and he knew there would be more coming from Darry once he got in. Our plan had obviously backfired on us and we were both in it up to our necks.

"Me and Steve found Pony in the middle of a fight with 3 Socs. He was on his way back from the movie theatre, which is kinda strange since you and him were meant to be over in Socville doing odd-jobs, huh?" Soda raised his eyebrows at me and looked pissed.

I blushed and bit my lip nervously. "Oh." Was all I could say at that moment. I knew I couldn't talk my way out of it and I didn't wanna make things worse by incriminating myself any further.

"Yeah, 'oh'." Soda snapped. He was mad. Probably mostly because Pony had put himself in danger again and got himself hurt. He was always real protective over Pony. "So you wanna tell me where the heck you've been?"

"I was just at Tara's Soda, I wasn't getting into any trouble." I mumbled.

"Apart from lying and walking about the streets without one of us, no trouble at all."

"I'm sorry Soda. I didn't think Pony would end up getting hurt."

"Yeah, it seems like neither of you really thought very much at all. Darry is gonna be real pissed at you both and you are already meant to be grounded anyway Bex."

"I think she must like being over Darry's knee, that's what it is." Sneered Steve, in his usual annoying way.

"Shut up Steve, it's none of your business!" I yelled back at him. I went over to the couch to take a closer look at Pony.

"Are you ok Pone? What happened?"

"These 3 socs came out of nowhere, just past the railway tracks and started shoving me around, I got some good punches in but there were 3 of them and they were bigger than me. Luckily Soda and Steve came along when they did." I saw him shudder involuntarily. I could see he was still pretty shaken up and I didn't blame him. These kind of fights could easily turn bad, all it took was one person to take out their blade and it could turn from a small punch-up to a fight to the death. Soda saw Pony's shudder as well and rubbed his back gently. Despite being mad at Pony he would always want to comfort him. That was just the kind of relationship they had.

"It's okay Pony, nothing real bad happened, just next time don't walk home alone. You need to get that tattooed on your forehead or something."

Pony gave a weak smile and I flopped down in the armchair. "Soda, we don't have to tell Darry about any of this ya know? We could just say Pony got hit by a baseball at school or something and not mention anything else." I pleaded with wide eyes, hoping to play on his protective instincts towards his younger siblings.

He shook his head, "Sorry Bex, that ain't gonna cut it. There ain't no way this would pass for anything other than a right hook and I ain't happy with either of you running around town without one of the gang. You know you ain't meant to walk back from Tara's alone in the evening and Pony knows he ain't meant to walk back from the movies alone either. This could have ended a lot worse and I want you both not to forget next time you're thinking of doing the same thing."

"But Soda, Darry is gonna be so mad, I'm already grounded, what's he gonna do to me next? Pony was only going along with my plan, it ain't his fault, so he shouldn't get in trouble."

"Well Pony made his choices, though I should have known it was all your idea, this has your name written all over it. When did you get to be so sneaky Becky? You used to be such a sweet little girl."

That almost made me wanna cry, it felt like Soda didn't like the person I was becoming. He had always loved babying me and having a little sister to dote on, maybe now I was just a disappointment to him. He must have seen my tears well up and he beckoned me over to him.

"Hey baby, don't cry. I still love ya, even if you are sneaky." He said gently as he pulled me onto his lap and gave my nose a tweak. I couldn't help but smile then. Soda always knew what I was feeling and how to make me feel better. I snuggled into him, making the most of the hug.

"You coddle her too much man." Steve groaned.

"Shut up! You're just jealous, come on over here and I'll give you a hug too." Soda said with a grin.

Steve rolled his eyes and I just laughed. "I better be going actually before Darry gets back and the fireworks start. See ya at the Dingo later Soda?"

"Yeah, I'll be there around 9.00 with Sarah."

Steve went out the screen door just as Darry came in dropping his toolbelt on the floor and kicking off his boots. He looked weary and I felt bad for giving him more things to worry about by making more trouble again.

"Hey guys." He said before noticing Pony's face "What the hell happened to you Pony?" he came over and grabbed Pony's chin, turning his face from side to side to get a better look.

"Erm…" Pony tried to pull away "It's not that bad, I'm fine." He mumbled.

"What happened?" Darry demanded.

"I got jumped by a couple of Socs."

"At school?"

"Nah, near the railway tracks."

"What were you doing there? You and Bex were meant to be working over the West side of town."

Pony looked down to avoid Darry's gaze.

"It was my fault." I said in a quiet voice and Soda gave me a squeeze of reassurance. He wasn't gonna let me get away with it, but he was gently encouraging me to do the right thing and confess to Darry. Darry looked at me sharply.

"I persuaded Pony that we should lie to y'all. We got all the money we needed last week for Denver, but I didn't wanna lose the freedom and go back to being confined to my room, so we pretended that we still had money to raise and instead I went to Tara's and Pony went to the movies after school today." I said it all in a rush trying to get it out before Darry exploded at me. His face was getting stormier the whole time I was talking. I could almost see the steam coming out of his ears.

"I don't even know what to say to you, to the both of you!" he yelled. I gulped. "You put yourselves is serious danger wandering about our neighbourhood alone, you know we don't let you do that and for good reason, it ain't safe and Pony just proved it. Has either of you not got a lick of sense between you? You know this ain't a game, people get killed, you know that and I don't want the next one to be one of you! Lying on its own is bad enough, but to go and deliberately put yourselves in danger like that is beyond stupid!"

"I'm sorry Darry, I thought it would be okay." Pony mumbled. "I didn't think I would get jumped."

"You never do think do ya Pony? and your sister takes after you it seems. I want both of you to go to your rooms, because I am too mad to deal with you right now."

"Sorry Darry." I said as I stood up off Soda's lap and trudged to my room. I lay on my bed and cried, mainly because I knew Darry was right and he had just reminded me about Johnny and Dally dying and how easy things could turn bad here in Tulsa. I was also crying out of fear for what Darry would do, I really didn't want him to take the Denver trip away from me when it was right in my grasp now. I didn't care if he grounded me for a month or even if he gave me a whooping as long as I still had Denver.

I eventually dried my tears and tried to distract myself by doing some homework. Yes, I was that desperate. At around 6.30 Soda knocked on my door and called me out for dinner. Dinner had been delayed by all the commotion, which was another thing for Darry to be mad about I was sure. He was always starving when he got in from work.

"Sit." Said Darry gruffly as I walked in the kitchen. He was still really mad obviously. There was tomato soup and bread for dinner and I tucked in, although I didn't really feel much like eating with my stomach doing somersaults in anticipation of Darry's punishment. I didn't want to get yelled at for not eating on top of everything else though. Pony did the same, not saying a word and silently eating, looking down at his bowl the whole time. Soda didn't even try to start a conversation though I could tell the silence was making him really uncomfortable.

Finally Darry cleared his throat "So, you guys thought you could get away with this, go behind our backs, pretend you were working your socks off elsewhere while you were really living it up round town doing goodness knows what? You thought you wouldn't get found out?"

'Well, obviously!' I thought to myself, but I didn't say it, as I knew that would not be at all wise. Both Pony and I remained silent.

"Well?" Darry barked more loudly.

"Well, yes I guess we thought we could get away with it Darry, we didn't think about it being dangerous, we just thought we could have some fun and a bit of freedom." Said Pony quietly, but looking Darry in the eye.

"Freedom? You wanna use your freedom to get yourself beaten up or worse, that's just great, real sensible."

"I didn't think I would get jumped Darry, I was just unlucky."

"Well, sometimes you make your own luck Kiddo and if you had been where you were s'posed to be then you would not have had a problem would you?"

"I guess not." Pony agreed grudgingly.

"It wasn't his idea Darry. I came up with it all cos I was sick of being confined to my room. Don't blame Pony." I said, trying to take the heat off Pone a bit. He would never have come up with this plan on his own, he just wasn't sneaky like me.

"Well, I coulda guessed it would be you behind the idea Rebecca, it's just par for the course with you lately. You just can't seem to open your mouth lately without telling a lie."

I opened my mouth, about to complain, I thought that was a bit unfair, but Darry held his hand up to stop me talking.

"I don't wanna hear any more Rebecca. Well, both of you have earned yourselves a good deal less freedom than what you had before, so it looks like lying and sneaking don't get you what you want. Next time you think it's a good idea to go wandering the streets alone, either of you, maybe you will think twice about it. Both of you are grounded for a month, that's on top of the grounding you already got Rebecca, so 5 weeks for you and 4 weeks for Pony. You will both be on dishes for all that time and I will be finding you plenty of other extra chores to keep you busy at the weekends, so no complaints about being stuck in your room."

Pony and I both groaned. "A whole month Darry!" Pony complained.

"Just be glad I ain't giving you both a whooping and be glad you are still allowed to go on that Denver trip Rebecca. I thought long and hard about it, but since you have all the money and you've already paid then I won't stop you going for now, but you are on a warning Young Lady. If you do one more thing to make me question how trustworthy you are, then money or no money you will not be going on the trip, do you understand me?" Darry said sternly.

"Yes, Darry." I was feeling half miserable at all the long-winded punishments Darry was dishing out, but half jubilant that the Denver trip was still happening. I would just have to be on my best behaviour for the next couple of months. I could do it if I really tried.

"Okay, now both of you get on with the dishes. I need to go and call Rose to cancel our date. We were meant to be going out tonight, but under the circumstances I don't think I can trust leaving you two alone for the evening."

I felt really guilty then and I could tell Pony felt bad too "Oh no Darry, you have to go, we'll be good we promise." I pleaded. I didn't want him to miss out on an evening with Rose, she was so good for him.

"Yeah, Darry. We'll stay in our rooms and go to bed at the right time, we won't get into any trouble." Pony added.

"Darry, they're right, you have to go. I'll invite Sarah round here instead of going to the Dingo, then you won't need to worry."

"We don't need a babysitter Soda!" I protested.

"Well, that's up for debate." Said Darry "If you're sure you don't mind Little Buddy, that would put my mind at rest."

"Sure Darry, I'll go call her now, she won't mind."

"You two behave as well Soda, don't get carried away now…" Darry warned.

Soda grinned, knowing exactly what Darry was driving at. "We'll be the picture of restraint Darry, don't worry."

"Why does that make me feel even more worried?" Darry mumbled as he wandered off to get changed for his date.

I was really pleased things seemed to be going so well with Rose and Darry. They saw each other at least once a week and she was meant to be coming round for dinner at ours on Friday. She still hadn't met Soda or Pony yet and I had only briefly met her as her patient. I reckon Darry had been purposely delaying bringing her into our madhouse as long as possible so as not to put her off. He said that wasn't the case and it was just that her shifts at the hospital didn't work out till now for her to come, but I wasn't so sure. I was looking forward to having another girl in the house, other than Sarah of course, who was around quite a bit, but her and Soda were too caught up in each other usually for me to have too much conversation with Sarah! I hoped that Rose and Darry would get serious and end up being together for good. Soda and Pony teased me for getting carried away when I said this to them, but I didn't see why there couldn't be a happy ending for once.


	34. Chapter 34 - Meet the family

_**Thanks to those who read and reviewed the last chapter! It really encourages me to keep going when I get your feedback and know that someone is actually reading this! For those of you who don't know, I have recently posted a new story called 'The Trouble with Rosie Curtis' about a much younger Curtis sister. I am working on the third chapter of that story at the moment, so if you like the sound of it do take a look and let me know what you think! Thanks for reading, hope you enjoy this chapter.**_

Chapter 34

**Meet the family**

As usual being grounded was a bore and Pony was having to endure it this time as well. He took to being alone in his room a lot better than I did though, although Darry would be really mad at him if he knew he was smoking in there too. Pony liked nothing better than to be left in peace with his book or his sketchpad. I liked to be around people, so grounding was the worst kind of punishment for me. I always felt like I was being left out or missing out on something important when I could hear Soda and the others in the living room but wasn't allowed out to join in.

On Friday Darry finished work at 2.00 and came to pick me up early from school as I had to go to the hospital to get my cast removed at last! I couldn't wait to get rid of the itchy, smelly thing! Darry was in a good mood, which was nice and we chatted about school and stuff. He was obviously looking forward to seeing Rose again that evening, in fact we would see her at the fracture clinic, as we were gonna wait around for her shift to finish at 4.00 and give her a ride home to our place, since she was coming for dinner. It made me feel all warm inside to think that Darry had something to be happy about for once. I was anxious for them to move things along, I didn't see the point in a long drawn-out period of dating. If they really liked each other, why didn't they just go ahead and get married? Then she could come live with us and it would be so great. I smiled to myself riding to the hospital, as these thoughts went round in my head.

"What are you grinning about?" asked Darry with a smile.

"Oh, nothing, just glad it's Friday and looking forward to getting this thing off my arm." I lied, well it was all true, but that hadn't been why I was grinning.

"I bet you are, it'll be nice to stop being itchy the whole time, huh?"

I nodded in agreement. "I can't wait to see Rose again either, I'm glad you finally asked her home to dinner."

Darry gave a half-smile "Hmmm, well she needed time to prepare for the complete chaos we live in. She lives alone and she ain't used to having to deal with a bunch of hoodlum teenage boys and their crazy antics, not to mention even crazier teenage girls…"

"Hey!" I protested with a grin and hit his arm. "I take that as an insult."

"Good, it was meant to be." Darry grinned back. "Nah, I told ya, she works funny hours at the hospital and this was the first Friday evening she could do. For some reason she's dying to meet Soda and Pony and see you again too. I told her not to expect too much, but she still seems excited at the idea of meeting you all…"

I laughed. It wasn't often Darry was playful like this, he was always having to be the grown up and be serious so it was real nice to see him joking and teasing like that. We arrived at the hospital and I went to my appointment. When the cast came off my arm underneath was really gross and I was glad I had a jacket to cover it up, as I couldn't show it in public like that. The skin was dry and peeling, my arm had gone all skinny where I hadn't been using the muscles and it just looked plain revolting. The nurse reassured me that it would be back to normal within a couple of weeks of using it again and not to worry.

We sat in the waiting room and waited for Rose to finish her shift. I went to look at the fish tank while Darry sat and read the newspaper. Eventually Rose came out. She had changed out of her uniform and had obviously showered, as her hair was slightly damp. She looked really cute in a blue skirt and blue and cream sweater. Darry rose to greet her as soon as he noticed she was there.

"Hi Rose, you look lovely." He complimented as he stooped to kiss her on the cheek. She blushed slightly and smiled.

"Hi Darry" she said warmly and he put his arm around her shoulders. "Hey Becky, it's lovely to see you again." She said turning her attention to me.

"Same here, I'm so glad you're finally coming for dinner. I told Soda and Pony how great you are, but they don't believe me that Darry could be so lucky, so it'll be good for them to meet you."

Rose laughed and Darry gave me a slight warning glare. I smiled innocently back at him and noticed his lips twitch. He wasn't really mad.

"Well, thank you Becky, that's sweet of you, but I think I'm the lucky one, not Darry. Your brother is quite a catch ya know?" Rose said with a wink.

It was Darry's turn to blush now. "I think that's enough of that you two, let's go get the car and go home." He said stiffly guiding Rose towards the door and grabbing my hand and pulling me behind him.

We arrived home to find Soda's car already there and we could hear the sound of rough-housing coming from the living room. I saw Darry tense up, unsure as to how Rose would react to the gang that we all grew up with. I knew he wouldn't hide them away, but he also didn't want them to embarrass him and for Rose to think he was some kind of hoodlum greaser because of them. Rose wasn't fazed though. She laughed at the racket coming from inside.

"Sounds like we're missing out on all the fun!" she exclaimed and I saw Darry relax slightly as he held her hand walking up the porch steps.

"Cut it out guys!" Darry yelled as he walked in to find Soda being pinned down by Two-Bit and Pony, who were trying to get him to holler uncle. The card game they had been playing had been abandoned and the cards were strewn all over the floor, as the table was lying on its side, presumable having been kicked over in the ensuing brawl. All three surprised by Darry's voice got up, looking slightly guilty as they saw Rose next to Darry.

"Sorry Dar, we'll clean up the mess." Said Two-Bit, smoothing things over. "Just a game of poker that got a bit out of hand." He grinned and his gaze turned to Rose. "You must be the lovely Rose, we've heard so much about. Keith Matthews.." he said holding out his hand and shaking Rose's "but everyone calls me Two-Bit."

Rose grinned back at Two-Bit and I could tell that she instantly liked him and had him worked out right as a good guy. "Pleased to meet you Two-Bit, interesting card game, usually when I play cards they stay on the table and no physical contact is required." She joked.

Two-Bit laughed, enjoying her teasing, "Well, we're just gonna have to teach you our version ain't we? It's a lot more fun and good exercise too. Well, I'll be heading off now and leave you all to get acquainted. See you again Rose, nice to finally meet ya. See ya Darry, Bex." Two-bit tipped an imaginary hat at us and left, jumping down the porch steps in typical Two-Bit fashion.

"Well, he's a bit of a whirlwind!" Rose exclaimed.

"Yeah, you get used to him." I said.

"I thought he said he was gonna clean up the mess!" Darry complained "I guess that leaves it to you two." He glared at Soda and Pony.

"Yeah, sorry about that Darry, we got a bit carried away there." Soda said "Not quite the welcome we had planned for you Rose, sorry." He gave his winning smile and I knew that Rose would not hold anything against him anyway. Nobody could hold anything against Soda.

"You must be Sodapop?" she smiled.

"Yeah, that's me and this here is Ponyboy." He grabbed Pony's arm and pulled him over to come and shake Rose's hand.

"Pleased to meet you both."

"Hi Rose." Pony said shyly. He was always shy around new people and especially girls, so I wasn't surprised to see him blush.

"You're the writer and the track star right?" Rose asked him.

"Well, not exactly a star but I am on the team."

"Don't listen to him, he's really good." Soda said rubbing Pony's hair affectionately and Pony pushed his hand away blushing even redder.

Rose smiled softly, "I know, Darry told me all about the State competition. Soda, you work at the DX right?"

Soda saluted "Yep, grease monkey at your service." I knew he always felt self-conscious when he first met people about not being good in school like me and Pony and working at a gas station, although he loved it and it suited him down to the ground. He was just real good with cars.

"My Dad has an old T-bird in his garage, I'll have to get you to come and take a look at it some time. He'd love to get it running again. Darry tells me you're a whizz with cars."

Darry smiled fondly at Rose, I could see he was pleased with how she was connecting so easily with our brothers, like she had already with me. Soda's eyes lit up at the mention of the T-Bird. "That would be real tuff! I'd love to." He grinned, almost jumping up and down with excitement.

I was surprised how much Rose seemed to know about my brothers and how Darry had boasted about both of them to her and what they were good at. I wondered what he had said about me. Probably that I was his pain in the butt little sister and always getting into trouble! I didn't get a chance to ask though as Darry suddenly remembered that both Pony and I were meant to be grounded and in our rooms.

"Pony, what are you doing out here in the living room, you're meant to be in your room, remember? You're still grounded."

"I was just waiting to meet Rose." He muttered.

"Okay, well now you met her, you can go back in your room till dinner, that goes for you too Becky. I'm sure you both have homework." Darry said sternly.

"Oh Darry, it's rude for us to be in there when we have a guest." I said, trying to take advantage of the situation.

Darry just gave me a hard glare, which I knew meant no argument. "Don't push your luck Bex, off you go and give us some peace and quiet."

"Soda's still here remember, not much chance of peace and quiet with him around.." I sassed back.

Soda gave me a playful smack on the butt. "Not so much of your cheek young lady!" he said, pretending to look stern. I quickly ran off to my room giggling before he could get me again.

I could hear Rose and Darry go off to the kitchen to start getting dinner ready and Soda picking up in the living room. I decided to get on with my homework in the hope that maybe I could persuade Darry to let me out in the living room after dinner if I had finished it. I was just finishing my final math question when Soda banged on my door about an hour later.

"Dinner's up, buttercup!" he quipped.

I rolled my eyes, "Okay, I'm coming." I followed him out to the kitchen and sat in my usual seat next to Pony. Soda sat opposite Pony and Rose sat opposite me with Darry sitting at the end of the table in between her and me.

"Yum, tacos, my favourite!" I yelled.

"No need to yell!" Darry scolded.

"He's trying to pretend that we are usually all polite and nice here." Pony said to me in a fake whisper.

Darry glared at him and Soda and I laughed. Rose just smiled and put a hand on Darry's leg. "Well, I hope you're not too polite or I won't fit in." she said.

Darry gave her hand an appreciative squeeze. "Tuck in!" he said and we all loaded our plates.

"I'm impressed that you cook so well Darry, I bet your Mom and Dad would be proud of the way you look after everyone." Rose said quietly.

Darry blushed and I could tell he was flattered by her words. She really was sweet and I could see that Darry was absolutely smitten.

"Just don't come round when it's Soda's turn to cook." I said.

"Yeah, you don't know what you might end up with. Could be green pancakes or blue chicken. Or you could end up with marshmallows in your pasta…never a dull moment when Soda's in the kitchen." agreed Darry.

"They just don't appreciate an original chef, Rose, you wait till you taste my special pasta sauce, you'll love it!" Soda grinned, not at all offended by our comments about his peculiar cooking!

Everyone chatted comfortably over dinner, having Rose there was not at all strange or awkward and it felt as if she was already part of the family, as I hoped she would one day be. Rose talked a bit about her sister, Isabelle who was 25, so a few years older than her. Rose was 21, so the same age as Darry, but her family had lived in Oklahoma city when she was growing up, so she didn't go to high school in Tulsa. Isabelle was also a nurse, but she recently got married and was pregnant with her first baby, so was going to stop working in a few months. Rose had moved with her sister to Tulsa once she had finished training to be a nurse, but she now had her own apartment near the hospital. She liked being close to her sister but also having the freedom of living alone. You could tell she loved her job from the way she talked about it and was doing some extra courses at college at the moment so that she could be a paediatric nurse, cos she really loved children. She chatted easily about her family and her job and she seemed interested in all of us, asking Soda about his work and Pony and me about school. I could see Darry was real proud of how great she was and how we all liked her.

"Well, that was delicious, let me do the dishes to say thank you." She said pulling her chair back to stand up.

"No way, you're the guest and anyway Becky and Pony are on dishes for the next few weeks as part of their punishment, so I ain't letting them get away with that."

I rolled my eyes, embarrassed for Rose to know that Pony and I were being punished. Rose gave me a sympathetic smile, as Pony and I started clearing the dishes away. Soda, Darry and Rose went to sit in the living room, leaving Pony and me to get on with the dishes.

"So, what do you think of Rose?" I asked Pony once they were out of earshot.

"I like her, she seems real nice."

"Yeah, she's great isn't she? You see why I liked her so much?"

Pony gave me a playful splash with the soapy water and grinned at me, he had been the one I had been raving to the most about Rose, so he was probably tired of my enthusiasm on the subject.

"Yeah, I get it, she's wonderful, Darry is gonna marry her and have 10 kids and a dog and we're all gonna live happily ever after." He teased.

I huffed, annoyed at him making fun of my dream. "Well, it could happen. Maybe not the 10 kids, but the rest of it." I said sulkily.

Pony just laughed. "It could, but don't hold your breath okay? Life just never seems to quite work out like that round here, hadn't you noticed?"

"I thought you were meant to be the dreamer, when did you get to be so cynical?"

"Maybe I grew up a bit and realised life ain't like the movies or like in books."

"Yeah, well maybe I don't wanna lose the hope that it can be, I think it still can be. Darry deserves it if anyone does."

"I won't argue with you on that." He said laying a hand on my shoulder.

"Hey! You're getting me all wet! Get off me!" I shoved his hand off, but since I knew he was trying to be nice I had forgiven him about shattering my dream-ending for Darry and Rose. I knew he was only trying to be realistic.

"Sorry" he said with a grin and accidentally on purpose sloshed a whole cup of water over my top.

"Pony! Right, you asked for it. I grabbed a handful of bubbles and rubbed them into Pony's hair.

"Not the hair!" he complained loudly.

"What the heck's going on in there?" Darry yelled from the living room.

Pony and I just burst into laughter. "Nothing!" Pony yelled back still laughing. We dried ourselves off a bit with the tea towel and finished up the dishes, still laughing on and off. Once we were done I decided to try my luck and join Darry and Rose in the living room. I didn't wanna be stuck in my room when Rose was here and miss out on getting to know her some more. I was basically in love with her almost as much as Darry and it would really suck to be shut away in my room when she was there. I cautiously sat on the couch next to Rose. She and Darry were sitting at one end of the couch and Soda was lounging in the armchair. There were watching 'Dream of Jeannie' and I was counting on them being too engrossed to notice me not being where I was supposed to be. Of course Darry is not one to forget these things, so almost straight away he called me out on it.

"What do you think you're doing Bex? You know you're meant to be in your room."

I looked over at him sheepishly "Darry! Please can't I just stay out here tonight? I've done all my homework and Rose is here. I really think we should all be together, it's rude otherwise."

"Well, you shoulda thought about that before you got yourself into trouble, huh?" he looked at me sternly and I was about to give up and stomp off to my room when Rose piped up.

"Ah Darry, go on, let her stay. I'd like to spend the evening with all your family and I can't if Bex and Pony are shut away in their rooms. It's only one evening, it ain't gonna hurt, they can go back to being grounded tomorrow. Don't be such an old grizzly." She teased, rubbing his chest.

I tried to fight the smile that was coming to my lips, but I couldn't. It was funny seeing Darry with a girl and being bossed around by her. None of us would dare, but Darry didn't get mad at Rose, he just smiled fondly at her.

"Okay, just for you." He said "But don't get used to it." Said Darry, trying to regain some of his authority. "It's for one night only and just cos Rose is here."

"Thanks Rose." I said beaming at her.

"No problem Bex." She winked at me and briefly squeezed my hand. "I didn't realise Darry was so strict!"

"Yeah." I sighed "We can't get away with anything!" I complained.

Darry snorted "I'm sure you get away with plenty that I don't know about, that's what scares me."

"Ah, but you're just a big softy really ain't ya?" Rose teased and Soda burst out laughing. Darry just glared at him.

"Yeah, he's a big old teddy bear." Soda grinned, raising his eyebrows at me. I laughed too.

"Just be quiet and watch the show." Darry snarled, but his expression softened when Rose kissed his cheek and snuggled into him.

In the end we spent the evening playing cards, which was really funny cos Rose cheated almost as much as Two-Bit normally did and was almost as obvious about it. I can't remember an evening when we had all laughed so much together and it was so good to see Darry joining in. Normally when it was just the gang and us around he would be off in the kitchen sorting out bills or sitting reading his paper, old before his time. Rose was just what he needed to remind him he was young and to give him something to enjoy in life. Darry sent Pony and I off to bed at 10.00 and Soda discreetly went off to bed as well, saying he was tired, although he never went to bed before midnight usually. I was still awake at 11.00 when I heard Darry leave to take Rose home, but I didn't hear him come back in, so I must have fallen asleep. I hoped they had had plenty of goodnight kisses and I really hoped Rose would come around more often. I really liked having a big sister to balance out all the testosterone I had to live with, especially if she was gonna be such a good influence on Darry and turn him into a teddy-bear instead of a grizzly when it came to our punishments! I really loved that idea.


	35. Chapter 35 - The ranch

_**Thanks to all those who read and reviewed the last chapter. This one is a little shorter than usual, as otherwise it would have got mega long if I had carried on to her seeing Matt again at last. For those who are waiting for her reunion with Matt I promise it will happen next chapter! Hope you enjoy this one!**_

Chapter 35

The ranch

After Rose's first visit to our house she was around a lot more. I think Darry had been nervous about how she would find us, but she genuinely seemed to like being around us and to fit right in. She was fun and a great balance to Darry's over-serious side, but at the same time she was gentle and sweet and a real calming influence over our household, especially when Soda, Steve and Two-Bit were having one of their crazy poker games or bull-sessions. They definitely toned things down in the presence of a lady! I also loved the way she took up for me and Pony when Darry was being too strict with us. If Soda ever tried to do the same thing Darry would have just told him to shut up, but he actually listened to Rose. She had saved me from being yelled at at least twice in the past few weeks and I loved her even more now than I did before!

Pony had finished his grounding now and I was on my final week at long last. Pony had planned to go out with the gang to the drive-in that weekend to celebrate, but I wasn't joining them as I was focussed on getting ready for my trip to Denver. We would be leaving the following Sunday morning and I couldn't believe the wait was finally over and I was actually going to see Matt again in just under 2 weeks' time! It didn't seem real and I got butterflies in my stomach every time I thought about it. That week at school I was a bit distracted because it was all I could think about. Tara and I were chatting in science class and when Mr Blake called on me for the third time with no answer he gave me a detention for the next evening. The rest of the day I tried a bit harder to concentrate. Darry was already gonna be really mad at me and I didn't want to do anything else to make it any worse.

I was surprised and pleased when Rose came for dinner that night. She usually worked late on a Wednesday, but she had swapped shifts with a friend and would be working late on Friday instead. Darry had picked her up from the hospital on his way home from work.

"Hey everyone!" Darry called as he came through the door. "Come say hi, Rose is here for dinner!"

I didn't need to be asked twice and came running out of my room, excited that Rose was there, but also pleased to be let out of my room a little bit early. Pony made an appearance too.

"Hey Rose!" I exclaimed and ran straight over to hug her.

Darry smiled indulgently and shook his head. "Well, at least you're pleased to see _one _of us!"

I let go of Rose and smiled at Darry "You wanna hug?" I asked and moved to hug him too,

"No, no, it's not the same if you have to ask for it." Darry protested, pretending to be offended and blocking my hug.

"Sorry Darry, but Rose is just much more huggable than you."

"Well, I won't disagree with you on that one." He laughed and put his arm round Rose's shoulder. He was becoming more relaxed about being affectionate towards Rose in front of us, whereas before he was really embarrassed about it. She was a tonic for the whole family, cos Darry being more relaxed was good for all of us!

"Hey Becky, hey Pony. Did you both have a good day?" Rose asked.

Pony just nodded and I shrugged "Well, it was school." I wasn't ready to get into it about my detention just yet, so I was happy when Soda changed the subject by yelling from the kitchen.

"Dinner's up guys!"

"Well, that was good timing." Smiled Rose.

"You may not think that when you taste Soda's offering." Joked Darry.

Pony groaned "I think he made his chicken and banana again."

"Yum! That's one of his best ones." I said heading for the kitchen. Pony looked at me like I had lost my mind.

"Well, thank you Bex, at least one of you appreciates my cooking." Soda grinned and gave me a big sloppy kiss on the cheek.

"Yuck Soda!" I complained wiping my cheek furiously.

We all sat to eat and chatted generally about our days. Rose had been in the emergency room that day and amongst other things had had someone come in with a metal dog super-glued to his hand and a child with a peanut up their nose. All in a day's work!

"So, how was school today Bex?" Darry asked. "Did you have that history test?"

"Yeah, it was okay. Had all the stuff in it I had learned, so I think I did fine."

"That's good."

I thought I would seize the moment and bring up the detention while Darry seemed in a relatively good mood.

"Erm, actually, I need you to sign something before tomorrow."

"Oh Bex, what is it this time." Darry asked, his face falling.

"Just a detention, no big deal." I muttered.

"No big deal?!" Darry yelled. "Is that what you think?"

"Well, it's not a big deal, it was just one of those things and it won't even go on my permanent record, not like a suspension or something."

"Yeah, well you shouldn't be getting into trouble at school, so it is a big deal little girl."

"What did you do Bex?" Soda asked, trying to tone the conversation down a bit.

I was looking down at my plate feeling smaller and smaller, trying to avoid eye contact with Darry. "Tara and I were just chatting and we didn't hear the teacher ask us a question."

"Darry, it doesn't sound so serious Honey. I'm sure you did stuff like that when you were at school." Rose soothed.

"Yeah," he replied in a gentler voice than before, but obviously still annoyed "but my Mom and Dad woulda had something to say about it too if I came home with a detention. Becky has been in enough trouble at school this year…"

"Sorry Darry. I didn't mean to get into trouble." I mumbled, trying to stop myself from crying. I didn't like that the focus was all on me and that Darry was so mad. I had hoped by bringing it up at the table, with everyone so relaxed and happy it would dampen the blow and that Darry would move on more quickly. It turned out I was wrong about that.

"You never do mean to! I have a good mind to stop you going to Denver. I don't want you ignoring the teachers there and not listening, you could get hurt like that on a ranch."

"You're not serious Darry?! I have to go!" I exclaimed in horror. He couldn't be taking it away from me now, not when it was so close and not over something so trivial.

"No Sweetie, he's not serious, are you Darry?" Rose prompted and gave him a meaningful look.

Darry sighed, knowing he was defeated, he couldn't deny Rose anything. "You're lucky Bex, cos if Rose weren't here I'd seriously be considering it. You can go to bed straight after dinner, no arguments and consider yourself lucky that's all the punishment you're getting, since you're already grounded. But that means lights out, no reading and no radio, got it?"

I resisted the urge to roll my eyes. Man he could be so over the top, all over a stupid little detention. Going to bed at 6.30, what was I, three years old?! "Got it Darry." I pouted, but not before I gave Rose a thankful smile. Boy was I glad that she was there for dinner that night. She had saved me from a fate worse than death as far as I was concerned.

After doing the dishes, which was getting really old having done it every night for the past 3 and a half weeks, I said goodnight to everyone and slouched off to my room. I thought twice about slamming my door since I didn't want Darry to come marching in there and start yelling at me again. I got ready for bed and read my book, since Darry hadn't come in to check on me yet and make sure my light was out, but I was only ten minutes in when Darry poked his head round the door and told me to turn the light off. I tossed and turned for about an hour before finally drifting off to sleep for the want of anything else to do.

The following week at school was the slowest I had ever known because I was so impatient for Sunday to come around. I tried to be on my best behaviour at school, not wanting to jeopardise things and managed to get through the week unscathed. At home I was scatty and jittery, feeling over-excited and nervous about the plan. There was so much that could go wrong, but if it went well it would all be worth it. Darry noticed I was twitchy and yelled at me several times for silly things I did because I was so distracted.

"If I have to tell you one more time to pick up your school things and put them in your room I swear I will ground you again Rebecca, what is with you this week? Your head is in the clouds!" he said to me that Friday evening.

I came rushing out into the kitchen where my stuff was all strewn about. "Sorry Darry, I got it!" I rapidly scooped it all up and put it into my school bag. "I'm just thinking about next week that's all."

"I know you're excited to be going away but please try and listen will ya? I don't like having to repeat myself so many times." He said more gently.

"I will Darry." I smiled and gave him a quick hug before running back to my room with my schoolbag. I could hear Darry muttering something like "Can't she ever walk anywhere these days?!" as I flew out of the kitchen. I just grinned to myself and went back to my packing.

I was nearly done and had made sure I had at least one good outfit for my trip into the city. I was beside myself at the thought of seeing Matt again. I had had a letter from him the week before telling me all about the competition and as promised he had sent me a programme telling me when he would be on stage. He was performing two of his songs, but it looked like he would have quite a bit of free-time and so if I timed it right I could be with him for several hours before I had to go back to the ranch and before he had to perform again. I read and re-read his letter which was as sweet as always and I almost hugged myself with glee as I thought of how surprised he would be when I turned up and how happy to see me. I wished I didn't have to wait till the end of our week there to see him, I wasn't sure I would be able to concentrate on riding horses and learning cowgirl skills, though I was kinda looking forward to that too. At least my new cowboy boots would get put to proper use for once.

Finally Sunday arrived. Darry, Soda and I went off to the high school to put me on the bus while Pony stayed behind at home with strict instructions to get his ass out of bed and get dressed. 8.00 on a Sunday morning was early for all of us. Darry was still fussing around me making sure I had everything I needed.

"You got your toothbrush?"

"Yes Darry."

"You got that money I gave ya so you can call us if ya need to?"

"Yes Darry."

"What about your pyjamas?" he asked and I rolled my eyes, but couldn't help smiling. He was sweet when he was being such a fusspot.

"Man, quit being such a mother hen!" groaned Soda "Bex has everything under control. It's too late now if she forgot something anyway, she'll be fine." Soda said slapping him on the shoulder.

"I hope so." Darry muttered. I knew he was nervous about me going away for a week and so far. It was the longest I had ever been away without one of my brothers or Mom and Dad. I had only ever been away for a night's sleepover at Tara's before, so this was a big deal. I knew he was gonna find it hard not being able to know what I was up to and be able to know I was safely tucked in bed at night. It was really hard for him to let me go on this trip.

I gave him a big hug to try and reassure him "Darry, don't worry so much, I'll be just fine. It's not like I'm going somewhere without adult supervision. The teachers will be there and the ranch staff and it ain't really so far away. It's not like I'm even leaving the country! I'm a big girl, I can look after myself ya know?"

"I know you think that, but it doesn't stop me worrying."

"I know and I will miss you all, but I'll be fine. I promise I'll call if I'm allowed to, okay?"

"Okay Becky, I can't believe I'm letting you do this.."

But he had no more time to think about it as the teachers were rounding us up to get on the bus. Soda gave me a hug and Darry guided me over to the door of the bus, squeezing my hand and giving me a kiss on the top of my head before I clambered on. His parting words were, "Be good Bex, we'll miss you!"

I sat near the back of the bus next to Tara and waved furiously at my brothers as the bus pulled away, feeling a mixture of excitement and fear. I was really gonna miss them. Tara and I spent the next few hours chatting and playing games to pass the time. We stopped after about 4 hours at a roadside diner for some lunch and we still had 6 hours journey ahead of us. We only had one more comfort stop scheduled about 3 hours ahead and we would be arriving at the ranch around 8pm for dinner, so I was glad I brought a good book and Darry had loaded me up with plenty of snacks for the journey, which Tara and I shared.

When we finally arrived we were all pretty exhausted, but the excitement of finally being there gave us a second-wind and we were eager to explore our lodgings and look around. There were 15 girls on the trip and we were split between 2 large cabins with bunk beds. They were not exactly luxurious, but quite cosy and clean and at least Tara and I were in the same cabin. We bagsied our beds and then went off to dinner, which was chilli and bread, eaten outside. Thankfully there was a fire and we all sat around on hay bales with blankets wrapped round us and chatted. One of the ranch hands, Robert, had a guitar and played some songs. It was so cool, like being in a cowboy movie or something. I loved it and almost forgot about my real motive for being there, since I was enjoying it all so much. Of course, the guitar and the singing made it hard to get Matt completely out of my mind!

The rest of the week was really hard work, but good fun. Like Soda, I always loved horses and it was great to be around them every day. We had a rota for mucking out the stables and tacking up. Every day we did some riding and we were shown how to use the lassoes to rope the cattle. In the afternoons we did some jumping, as in the show on the last day there was gonna be some barrel racing for those who had got good enough. Every night we ate outside, like the first night and we all went to bed around 10.00 totally exhausted from our active day. I really loved this kind of outside life and could have stayed there quite happily forever. I wished we could move to the country and have a life like that, instead of being stuck in Tulsa with all its troubles. Maybe one day that would happen. Of course, Darry needed to work and that's where the work was, so chances were we would not be moving out to our own ranch any time soon.

We were allowed to call home on the Wednesday evening, so I spoke to my brothers, reassuring them that I was still alive and behaving myself. Darry sounded so relieved to hear me and he chatted more than usual, telling me that Rose and he were going out to the movies that evening with Soda and Sarah. Pony happily told me he was staying home to get some well-needed alone time. He was strange like that and preferred his own company a lot. I would be feeling hard done by and left out if that were me and the rest of them were going out. Soda asked me all sorts of questions about the horses and was impressed when I told him all the things I could do after only 3 days. He got vicarious pleasure from my interaction with the horses, I knew he wished it could be him.

I had gotten pretty good at the jumping by the end of the week so they were gonna put me in for the barrel racing, but I claimed I was too scared and didn't wanna do it. There wasn't a lot of chance of going unnoticed if I was in the race. Thankfully they let me off and I was only in the group display and the rest was just watching the real rodeo folk do their stuff so I wouldn't be noticed if I was missing from that.

That Friday night I reminded Tara of the plans for the next day.

"So straight after breakfast I'm going to slip off, If Miss Barnes notices I'm missing you can tell her that I've got a migraine and have taken my medicine and gone back to sleep."

"Sure, Bex don't worry. I don't think they'll notice with all the stuff going on to get ready for the rodeo and then it'll be on all afternoon. I think you'll get away with it."

"I hope so! I just need to walk to Bailey general store. The bus is at 9.30 and gets to the high school at 10.15. Matt should be free until 12.00 so all I've gotta do is find him."

"He's gonna be so amazed to see you, I wish I could be there to see it!" Tara grinned.

I squealed in a very uncharacteristically girly way and laughed at myself "Oh my gosh, I am so over-excited, I'm never gonna sleep tonight!"

"You gotta look your best for tomorrow though, you don't want huge bags under your eyes. Matt won't recognise ya if you're looking like a zombie!"

"Hey!" I nudged her, pretending to be annoyed and she just cracked up.

"He'll love ya whatever you look like, you know that!"

"I hope so, what if he doesn't wanna see me?" Until then that hadn't crossed my mind, but maybe he wouldn't be at all pleased to see me popping up out of nowhere when he wasn't expecting it.

Tara raised her eyes at me and looked at me like I was crazy. "Don't be a dork, he's gonna be so happy to see you. It's so cool that you kept it a secret all this time!"

Just then Miss Barnes came into the cabin to tell everyone to stop talking and go to sleep, so we settled down. I did actually sleep although I was tossing and turning for a good half an hour before I dropped off with my stomach doing flips of excitement and a big grin on my face. I dreamt that I turned up to the high school on a horse and had a jousting match with Miss Barnes while Matt and Tara cheered me on. Very strange and hopefully not exactly a premonition of how things were gonna go down the next day!


	36. Chapter 36 - Matt

_**Thanks so much to all those who read and reviewed the last chapter. Finally Becky has her reunion with Matt in this chapter. I hope I haven't disappointed you too much! Let me know what you think.**_

Chapter 36

**Matt**

After a fairly sleepless night I woke early, impatient for the day to begin. I had to wait till 7.30 to get up and dressed, as breakfast was not till 8.00. Tara woke around 7.45 to find me already washed and dressed and sitting on my bunk fidgeting. She grinned at me

"Morning Bex, how are you doing?"

"I feel sick." I complained, my stomach was violently churning with all the nerves. I could not wait to get on that bus and get going. The time seemed to really be dragging.

Tara laughed "You're s'posed to be happy."

I smiled back at her "I am happy! I'm just really nervous, well more excited than nervous I guess. I think I'll be alright once I get on that bus and am actually on my way with nothing to stop me." We spoke in hushed tones so the other girls in our cabin couldn't hear us. We couldn't risk one of them working out what I was up to and letting it slip to one of the teachers.

Tara squeezed my hand, sharing my excitement and she went off to get dressed. At breakfast I didn't really have to fake feeling unwell as I could barely eat a thing. I was just too jumpy and eager to get it over with. Miss Barnes asked after me,

"You look rather pale Becky, are you feeling okay?" Well, this gave me the perfect opportunity to lay the foundation for my excuse for my absence that day so I seized it with both hands.

"Well, I may have a migraine coming on. I've got my medicine with me so is it okay if I just rest this morning? Usually if I just sleep and get some peace and quiet it goes away."

"Okay. Will you go with her back to your cabin Tara and make sure she's okay?"

"Sure Miss Barnes." Tara said linking her arm through mine as we went back to the cabin. "Well, I didn't even have to lie for you." Tara grinned, speaking in a whisper as we got back to the cabin. "You did it all for me!"

"That went better than I could have hoped. I'm gonna head out the back way so hopefully no-one will see me. I just need to get changed and then I'd better head off. It'll take me about 20 minutes to get to the bus stop from here."

"What are you wearing?"

"This." I held up a blue and green flowery mini-dress that I'd picked up at the thrift store last summer. It still fitted me and looked good even with my battered sneakers. I quickly put my hair into two braids and clipped the loose bits back with a big green flower clip.

"Gorgeous!" commented Tara. I raised my eyebrows at her flippant comment "Seriously, I mean it, you look really good. You're gonna knock him dead Bex." Tara gave a little squeal of excitement, "Oh I really wish I could be there to see his face when you just show up unannounced!"

I laughed "Yeah, I hope he doesn't keel over from the shock! I guess I'd better go." I said my stomach doing somersaults again as I knew this was really it now. I was going through with the plan and so far everything was falling into place. In just a matter of hours I would be seeing Matt again.

"Good luck Becky. I'll cover for you if anyone asks." Tara said giving me a hug.

"Thanks Tara, you're the best." I said as I made my way out the rear door of our cabin. I walked cautiously round the back of all the ranch buildings and found my way out onto the dirt track, which lead onto the road after a couple of hundred metres. I managed all this without seeing another soul, which was great. My heart was pounding with the anticipation of getting caught and I breathed a sigh of relief when I hit the main road, as it was only another 15 minute walk along there to the General Store, where the bus went from.

It was quiet on the road and nothing passed me except one tractor driven by an old bearded man, who beeped his horn at me in a friendly way as he went past and I waved. I arrived at the bus stop at 9.15 so I had only 15 minutes to wait for the bus to the high school. I checked and rechecked my money and glanced nervously around me, expecting at any moment to be spotted by one of the ranch workers or one of the teachers coming into the small town for supplies. My track record for pulling these kind of things off was not great. But for once I was getting away with it. The bus pulled up and I got on and paid my fayre with a feeling of exhilaration. Nothing was gonna stop me getting there now and I was gonna see Matt. I couldn't get the smile off my face as the bus drove on through Bailey and then onto the outskirts of Denver. The bus stopped every 10 minutes or so to let passengers on and off and finally, after about 50 minutes the bus arrived at South High School and I jumped off.

There were signs up publicising the Inter-State Young Composers competition and helpful arrows guided me in the right direction. It was a fairly large campus, so I was grateful for the signs. The competition was being held outside in the football stadium and as I came closer I could hear loud music and applause. I cautiously made my way onto the bleachers and scanned around, trying to look like I was meant to be there. Each of the schools represented had banners up where they were sitting, so I looked around till I found the one for Santa Monica Catholic High School. They were on the opposite side of the stadium to where I was, so I made my way back down the bleachers and walked around the outside until I came to the entrance on the far-side. There was a choir singing on the stage as I approached the steps again. But I could also hear various others practising on different instruments or singing themselves, obviously getting ready for their turn.

Faintly I thought I could hear Matt's voice singing, it was coming from underneath one of the tiers of bleachers. I grinned and my heart sped up as I approached the sound. I couldn't see him but now I realised not only was his voice familiar but so was the song. It was the one he had written for me. I was really touched that he had apparently chosen that song for his entry to the competition, that was so sweet. I followed the sound and finally there he was. He had his back to me, but I knew straight away it was him, apart from the fact that he was playing the guitar and singing that song. He looked the same as I remembered him, his short dark hair and his broad shoulders. He was wearing his familiar brown leather jacket. My heart leapt and I walked towards him, enjoying listening to that song and hearing his beautiful voice again.

I was in heaven, but in one short moment everything changed. I noticed that he wasn't there alone. Sitting by him, to his left was a red-haired girl, who was smiling and looking at Matt with awe and adoration. It reminded me of the way he made me feel when I looked at him and how I felt the first time he sang that song to me. Then I realised that although the song was almost exactly the same, there was one small but significant difference, where he had sung 'Becky' to me, now he was singing 'Martha' instead. He wasn't singing _my_ song at all, this was _her _song, that girl who was sitting there drooling and fawning over him. I wondered if he had told her he wrote the song for her like he did me. I wondered if he told her he loved her like he did me. I froze where I was and didn't know what to do. I felt completely sick to my stomach and couldn't hold back a squeak of pain as I tried to stop myself from collapsing into sobs as I stood there. The girl, whose name I guess was Martha, must have heard me. She turned her head towards me and frowned. Matt saw her glance move from him and turned round to see who was there. His face fell as he saw me. If I had any doubts about his guilt on this matter then they were washed away completely when I saw the look on his face. I have never seen anyone look more guilty or tongue-tied.

"Becky!" was all he could say. Well, obviously my surprise had worked. He was completely shocked to see me standing there and to have been discovered in his betrayal. He suddenly came to his senses a bit.

"Becky, wow, you're here, it's so good to see you." He said with a huge smile and if I hadn't seen the other girl there I might have believed he was pleased to see me.

"Yeah, I guess I should go." I croaked out, my throat closed up with the threat of tears.

"No, Becky, don't go. Did you come all this way to see me?" Matt asked with a hint of arrogance.

I shrugged, well obviously I did. Why else would I be at some singing competition in Denver?! "I'm staying at a ranch down the road in Bailey and thought I'd surprise you. I just didn't expect to be interrupting." I said stonily. Tears were falling silently down my cheeks now, but I was managing to hold back the sobs which I wanted to let out. I wanted to lie on the floor and wail I felt so much pain right then. How could he treat me like this? He told me he loved me, that he wanted us to still be together, to work out. It was obviously all just lies, lies and more lies. I didn't know how to handle this, I had been expecting a wonderful reunion, this was the last thing on earth I had expected.

"Oh, you weren't interrupting. This is my friend from Santa Monica, she goes to the school next to mine and she's here for the competition too."

"Hi, Becky is it?" the girl said cautiously.

"Yeah, I guess you must be Martha?" I couldn't keep the bitterness out of my voice.

"Yeah, how did you…."

"I heard the song." I interrupted. "How could you Matt?!" I yelled, finally shifting from paralysis to rage and finding my voice.

"I….I…" he stuttered, "It's still your song Becky, I _did_ write it for you." He reached a hand out towards me and I took a step back.

"What?!" exclaimed Martha, putting her hands on her hips. "You told me you wrote it for me!"

Matt was caught between a rock and a hard place. He couldn't make himself come out of this smelling of roses no matter what he did. It was obvious to me and to Martha that he was a lying, untrustworthy, piece of work and he had lead both of us on.

"Well, I mean I wrote the original tune and stuff for Becky, she was my girlfriend in Tulsa. Then I rewrote it especially for you Martha. It still means the same." He pleaded.

"I _was _your girlfriend? I thought you said you wanted it to work, that you were gonna try, you wrote me all those letters saying how much you missed me and loved me. Why did you do all that if you didn't mean it? Why did you lie to me?" I railed at him.

"Come on Becky calm down." He said.

"Don't you dare patronise me! Why should I calm down?! Just to make you feel better? You are a cheat and a liar and I can't believe I ever trusted you. You really had me fooled." I yelled, my voice cracking. Matt came towards me and tried to put his arm around me, but I pushed him away. "Don't you dare touch me, I don't want you anywhere near me." I turned and ran as fast as I could to get as far away from him as possible.

I ran all the way across the high school campus and ended up on a playing field where I flopped down at the edge next to a small copse of trees, breathing heavily from all the running. And now the tears came. I slumped down leaning against a tree and just buried my face in my arms sobbing and crying in a way I hadn't done since my parents died. It just hurt so much. I had loved Matt and I thought he felt the same, that's what he had told me after all and yet he obviously didn't feel anything real for me or he wouldn't have been able to cheat on me with another girl. He apparently had a thing for redheads and he obviously enjoyed the idea of romance and wooing girls. To him it was just a game. I couldn't believe I had been taken in, but he had seemed so genuine, so caring, so lovely. Was it really all just a ruse? And if so, why would he do that? What did he get out of it? Maybe he just had problems and couldn't control himself from going after another girl since I was so far away. That was the most charitable explanation I could come up with.

All of these thoughts were whizzing round my head as I sat there under the tree. Gradually my tears slowed. I knew I couldn't just sit there all day, though it was all I wanted to do. Actually I just wanted to lie down and sleep and wake up from this whole nightmare. I didn't want it to be real, but I had to now face up to reality and had to get away from Denver and back to Bailey before anyone noticed I was missing. I wiped my cheeks and nose on the sleeve of my sweater and pulled myself up. My legs felt shaky and there was an immovable lump in my throat. My eyes were sore from all the crying and I knew I must look a real mess. I took a swig from the water bottle in my bag in an attempt to wash away the lump, but of course it didn't work. I stumbled along trying to find my bearings, I realised I was at the back of the school now and had to make my all the way round to the front in order to get back on the road and to the bus stop. I looked at my watch, surprised to find it was already 12.00, so I would have 45 minutes to wait for the next bus. I decided instead of waiting I would walk as far as the next bus stop.

I really needed time to think, to clear my head. I just couldn't take in what had happened, all my hopeful plans and all my excitement were for nothing. I played and replayed the events in my mind, seeing him, realising he wasn't alone, hearing the words of the song changed for some other girl's benefit, listening to his feeble attempt at justifying himself. As I thought about it, I realised he hadn't even said he was sorry. He was too busy trying to make himself come out of this untarnished, trying to make that other girl believe he loved her regardless of what was in front of her face, regardless of his blatant lies and deception. It came to me then that he was a coward, a weak, pathetic coward who wasn't even man enough to own up to what he had done. I was a fool to have ever thought him kind and wonderful. I was a fool to have believed his charade. My thoughts wouldn't stop and they did nothing to console me of course. During the whole walk along the dusty road tears fell slowly and mostly silently down my cheeks. I had to tell myself to keep moving because what I really wanted to do was just lie down where I was and give in to the ache inside me, to wail and shout and scream. Another wave of tears overtook me as I hopelessly watched the bus go past me. I had gone past the next stop, but hadn't reached the third. Could this day get any worse? Now I would have to wait another hour for the next bus to come along, so I decided I may as well just keep walking. I couldn't risk getting back to the ranch too late or I would definitely be found out.

I walked for another hour and finally, perched on the bench at the next bus stop, physically and emotionally exhausted. From there it was only a 30 minute drive into Bailey, so I would arrive back at the ranch just before 3.00 all being well. I hoped that I could just sneak back into my cabin and into bed, continuing my fake migraine. Well, apparently this day _could_ get worse after all. As the bus pulled up outside the general stores I spotted one of the ranch hands, Marcus and Miss Barnes waiting expectantly. I saw their eyes eagerly scanning the passengers on the bus and knew my chips were up. I had not managed to get away unnoticed and I had just piled up a huge heap of trouble for myself. For a moment I considered ducking down in my seat and carrying on to the next stop, but frankly I was too exhausted to contemplate walking much further and I was almost pleased when Miss Barnes spotted me. Her look of relief turned to a stern glare and I hung my head as I made my way off the bus.

"Rebecca Curtis, what on earth were you thinking?!" she demanded grabbing me into a hug. I guessed she must have been dreading the call home to Darry saying I was lost if they hadn't managed to find me.

"I'm sorry Miss Barnes." I managed to croak out. My throat was dry and sore from all the tears and I was thoroughly tired and miserable.

"I'm just so glad you are in one piece." That's not quite true, I thought to myself. I knew one part of me that was completely broken and right then I didn't know if my heart would ever recover. "Do you know we've had everyone out looking for you? Tara eventually admitted that you had gone to visit a friend by bus, but to begin with we didn't know where on earth you could be. What in heaven's name possessed you to go off on your own like that?"

"I…." I couldn't actually come up with a good reason. I couldn't very well say the truth, that I had gone to visit my boyfriend, who was now no longer my boyfriend and that I had planned it all in secret because my family didn't want me to see him and it was the only way I ever had a chance to be with him. I couldn't tell her that, I knew it would only make my situation worse. As I was reminded of Matt tears welled in my eyes and despite everything Miss Barnes took pity on me.

"Okay Becky, you look exhausted, let's get you back to the ranch and you can explain when we get there."

I nodded and followed her and Marcus to the truck they had come in. We all squeezed into the front seat for the bumpy and tense journey back to the ranch. When we got there Miss Barnes guided me into the lounge and sat me down on the couch, whilst she sat opposite me in an armchair. I avoided her gaze and stared down at my hands. My head was aching, I was emotionally and physically wiped out and I could barely even think let alone come up with a good explanation for what I had done.

"Let me tell you that everyone here has been out looking for you for the past 2 hours. We checked on you at lunchtime and found you gone. Tara said you may have gone for a walk round the ranch to clear your head, so we didn't worry too much, but you were still gone an hour later we really thought something bad had happened to you. It was only when we were talking about dredging the lake here that Tara confessed that she knew more than she had been letting on and that you had gone off on the bus by yourself. Do you know how dangerous that was? Not only going off all alone, in a place you don't even know, but not telling any adults where you were going. What if something had happened to you, how do you suppose we would have felt? How do you suppose your brothers would have felt? It was a very foolish and inconsiderate thing to do and you have got yourself into a whole heap of trouble over it too, Rebecca. Have you got anything to say for yourself?"

I shook my head, feeling bad for having let Miss Barnes down when she was such a nice teacher, one of the best. "I'm sorry, I just went to visit a friend in Denver and I didn't say anything cos I didn't think I would be allowed to go and it was my only chance to see them. I would never do anything like this again, I promise Miss Barnes, I'm sorry I worried everyone."

She nodded, acknowledging my apology. "Okay Rebecca, I just need to go call your brother Darrell and let him know that you've been found. He will be so relieved. You must be hungry, I'll get you some soup and bread."

"Thanks Miss Barnes."

My stomach turned over as I took in the information that Darry knew I had gone missing. When he found out what I had been up to he was gonna be furious. He'd never let me go anywhere ever again. I closed my eyes and rested my head on the back of the couch. 10 minutes later Miss Barnes came back with a large mug of tomato soup and a hunk of bread.

"Here Rebecca, eat this."

"Thanks Miss Barnes."

"Now let me explain what's gonna happen. For the rest of the time here you are on lockdown, that means you will have to be with one of the adults the whole time and you will not leave their side. You will sleep in my room tonight and you will sit with one of us tomorrow on the bus on the way home. You cannot be trusted to be alone in case you decide to disappear on us again."

"I promise I won't."

"Well, we have to be sure of that and this is the only way. Next Monday when you come into school you will report to the Principal's office to find out what your punishment is gonna be. I will do my best to persuade him not to suspend you, as I know it's not what you need on your record with social services keeping such a close eye. If he agrees then it will probably be detentions and maybe some yard work. It will up to Principal Roberts in the end though."

"I understand." I said in a small voice. I was less worried about the trouble I would be in at school than the trouble I would be in at home. I knew Darry was gonna be disappointed in me and angry and I couldn't take that on top of the hurt I was already feeling. I would come clean with him and explain what had happened and what Matt had done. I knew he would be mad at me for going behind his back to see him but I wanted him to understand why I was such a mess. I wouldn't be able to hide my pain and hurt from my brothers. They knew me too well.

I had finished my soup, which was delicious and exactly what I needed, though I hadn't even realised I was hungry. "Okay come along with me then Rebecca and we will watch the end of the show. It's a shame you missed out."

It struck me that Miss Barnes had planned this whole trip for us and done everything to plan for this rodeo show that afternoon and she had to miss practically the whole thing because of me. Instead of watching she had been out searching and worrying about where I was. I felt terrible at how selfish I had been. "Miss Barnes, I'm so sorry that you had to miss most of the show cos of me. I didn't mean for that to happen."

"I know Rebecca, thank you. I am just very glad that you are here and unharmed."

I nodded, again thinking to myself that I wasn't exactly unharmed. I felt damaged and aching from the events of that morning. I kept remembering parts of what he had said and feeling the hurt all over again. I wished I could just switch my mind off and stop thinking about it, but I couldn't. Nothing else seemed to matter much. I watched the show, feeling very detached from the whole thing. Tara spotted me in the seats and gave me an apologetic glance. I knew she would be feeling bad that she had told them where I was, but I understood that she didn't have a choice. She couldn't very well let them go to the effort and expense of dredging the lake or the worry of believing me dead, when she knew full-well where I had gone and the lake had no part to play in it. I gave her a reassuring nod and she frowned. She could see I was upset and I hoped she realised that I wasn't annoyed with her, but just upset about my meeting with Matt.

That evening passed by in a blur. I was forced to sit with the teachers round the fire that evening and I was more or less tuned out of their conversation. I had found if I just focused on the flames in the fire, counting the sparks and repeating to myself the colours the flames made, I could keep my mind switched off from Matt and the hurt. I slept in Miss Barnes' cabin, which was strange but I was glad not to have to face the questions of all the other girls in my cabin, although I would have liked to talk to Tara. I knew she would be dying to talk to me about what had happened. She was in trouble too for covering for me, but she was not on lockdown like me. The next day I was forced to sit next to Mr Rogers on the bus and Tara had to sit by Miss Barnes. I stared out of the window, trying to distract myself by counting telegraph poles or cars or clouds. Anything to stop myself thinking about you know who. It didn't work very well and I was feeling utterly miserable when we stopped after 4 hours at a diner for lunch.

I wasn't feeling remotely hungry, my stomach was a mass of nerves and I actually thought I might throw up if they forced me to eat too much. I was forced to sit with the teachers but Tara who was sat with our friends at the table kept on glancing anxiously over at me. I saw her get up to go to the bathroom and she indicated with her eyes to follow her.

"Erm, Miss Barnes, I need to use the bathroom. Can I go?" I asked, expecting her to insist on accompanying me.

"Okay Rebecca. I'm trusting you to go straight in and come right back afterwards. I can see the door from here."

"Thanks." I said and went off to the bathrooms. Tara was waiting by the sinks.

"Finally Bex, we can talk. You look awful, what happened?" she asked anxiously.

"I'm sorry, I'm on lockdown and I couldn't get away from the teachers all yesterday. It was a complete disaster Tara." I said and I couldn't stop the tears now.

Tara looked concerned and put her arm around me. There was a small seat with foam cushions in the bathroom and she guided me over to sit down. The cubicles were all empty, so for now we had some privacy. "What happened Bex, was Matt not there?"

I sobbed and then tried to pull myself together to speak. "He was there." I sniffed "But I found him singing that song he wrote me to another girl and he'd put her name in it. He's not who I thought he was and he's moved on to someone else. He's been lying to me all this time.." I broke down again, unable to carry on.

Tara looked shocked "Oh Bex, I'm so sorry. I really can't believe it."

"I'm so stupid." I shook my head.

"Well, if you're stupid then so am I, cos I believed him too. He either really did love you or he a pretty amazing actor. Maybe he just missed you too much and imagined it was you there he was singing to."

"Tara, I know you are trying to make me feel better, but I need to face facts. He is a liar and a cheat and I was taken in by him cos I wanted to believe he loved me as much as I loved him."

Tara sighed. I think she realised that nothing she said right now would make me feel any better, so she just gave me a big hug and I cried into her shoulder. She rubbed my back and said,

"You'd better go back Bex, the teachers will be thinking you ran off again and you'll get in trouble. I'm so sorry I had to tell on you."

"Don't be sorry, I totally understand, you had to." I sniffed and sighed. "I just wish they hadn't had to call Darry though. He's gonna kill me. He trusted me and I let him down and he won't be impressed when I tell him the reason…" I angrily brushed away fresh tears as they fell.

"Bex, I wish I could help. Maybe Darry won't be so mad at you when he hears what happened. He'll be too busy being mad at Matt."

I gave her a half-smile "Maybe. I'd better go. Thanks Tara, I'm so glad I could talk to you."

"Sorry it didn't work out how we thought." Tara said, as I got up to go. I nodded and waved to her as I went out the door and back to the table.

I tried to sleep for the rest of the journey, reluctantly getting out at the next comfort stop. I managed to fall back to sleep again, glad of the oblivion it provided. Before I knew it I opened my eyes to find it was dark outside and we were driving through the familiar streets of Tulsa. As we pulled into the parking lot at the high school I spotted Darry's truck amongst all the other parents' vehicles and I saw Darry and Soda leaning up against it. Darry had his arms crossed and Soda looked anxious. Butterflies overtook my stomach again and my heart began to race. I wasn't ready to face Darry. I didn't think I ever would be. He had every right to be angry and disappointed with me but all I really needed and wanted from him right now was one of his suffocating hugs. I needed him to make it all better and I hoped he would allow me at least one hug before he started yelling.

We clambered off the bus and Darry waited by the side to collect my bag. Soda came up and gave me a welcoming hug, making my heart feel slightly less heavy. "Welcome back Becky, it's really good to see ya." I couldn't help getting tearful again. It was such a relief to be back with my brothers. I needed their familiarity and their love to get me through this pain I was feeling. I needed them, even if they were gonna be mad at me. "Hey, Becky, no need to cry." He soothed and squeezed his arm around my shoulders. "What're ya crying for?" he asked as he lead me over to the truck.

I sniffed and shook my head, unable to explain right them, but just leaned into Soda's side, glad of his warmth and his protective arm. Darry came over then with my luggage and threw it in the back. Once he was free of bags I threw myself at him, surprising him with my voracity.

"Darry." Was all I could say through my tears. Darry rubbed my back and thankfully returned the hug. So maybe he didn't hate me then, even if he was mad. He still cared that I was upset.

"Hey Bex, calm down." He said gruffly but not unkindly. "I'm so happy to see you here in one piece, I was so worried about you." He squeezed me tighter as he said this.

"I know, I'm sorry." I murmured. I was so glad he wasn't yelling at me, at least not yet. I must have looked pretty miserable for Darry to have gone so lightly on me so far.

"Let's get home and we can talk about it all when we get there." He said ominously. I wasn't looking forward to that talk but it wasn't exactly unexpected.

We drove along in silence until Soda turned the radio on. He kept glancing back at me with concern and taking sideways glances at Darry. He was worried about me and was worried that Darry was gonna be too hard on me when I was obviously already so low. Soda could always tell when I was upset and I think he had an inkling that my tears were not just about me being in trouble but about something more. We all got out of the truck, Darry grabbing my luggage again and we went inside. The place was empty.

"Where's Pony?" I asked

"Went to the Dairy Queen with Two-Bit. Should be back soon." Soda explained. "He won't be late, he missed ya." Soda winked at me and I couldn't help a small smile.

"Ya hungry?" Darry asked.

I shook my head "Nah, not really."

"Take a seat then, we need to talk." He said indicating the couch with his arm. I swallowed and sat down. This was probably where he was gonna start yelling, but I deserved it I guess. I flopped down on the couch and looked up at Darry who was sat opposite me on the coffee table.

"So you wanna tell me what the heck you were thinking when you ran off yesterday?" he demanded, getting straight to the point.

"I went to visit a friend in Denver." I said quietly.

"A friend? Who? Who do you know in Denver?"

"Erm, well they don't live in Denver, they were just there for this competition and it happened to be at the same time I was there at the ranch, so it seemed like a good opportunity to meet up."

"A good opportunity?" Darry said incredulously. I shrugged, unsure what he wanted me to say. "And you thought it would be just fine to hop on a bus all by yourself and head off without telling me or anyone from school where you were going or that you were going at all?"

I looked down at my hands and didn't answer.

"Answer me damn it?!" he had been holding his temper so far, but now he was yelling. "Did you really think that was a good idea, that that would be an okay thing to do?"

I shook my head, pinching my lips together trying to stop myself from crying again, but an errant tear found its way down my cheek anyway.

"Who was this friend anyway?" Oh no, the dreaded question. I steeled myself to tell him and my heart raced, knowing this was the piece of information that he was really not going to like at all.

"It was Matt." I more or less whispered, glancing up at Darry again to see his reaction.

Darry blinked hard and looked confused "I'm sorry, who?"

"Matt." I said louder this time and averted my gaze, tensing up as I waited for the tirade.

"As in Matt Carter, the kid who moved to California?" Soda asked, he was leaning against the armchair and had been just observing up till now.

I nodded. "What the heck? How did you even know he was gonna be there? You were not meant to be in contact with him? Tell me!" Darry demanded, his eyes flashing and his jaw tight. He was really mad, as mad as I had ever seen him and it was what I had expected.

"We wrote each other and talked on the phone a few times." I squeaked, unable to speak properly as my throat was so tight with fear and threatening tears.

"You wrote to each other when I told you not to, you called him. I distinctly remember saying you were never to be in touch with him again and that it was over." Darry snarled.

"I know Darry and I'm sorry, you were right." My voice broke on my last few words and I began to cry silently.

"I can't believe you would lie to me like that, all that time. Then I trusted you to go away with the school and this is how you behave, this is how you repay my trust? You run off behind everyone's backs to see your boyfriend who you have been told to steer clear of. Well, young lady, you've only shown me that I can't trust you at all. This is last time you go anywhere without one of us for a long time to come. I don't know how I'm ever going to be able to trust you again."

I started to sob now. "Darry, I'm so sorry."

"And what's more, while you and your 'boyfriend' were making out and having a high old time, the rest of us here and your teachers were going crazy looking for you and not knowing where you were?"

"We weren't making out. He was with another girl." I managed to croak out before flinging myself face down on the sofa and giving into my wails of agony.

"What?" Soda said "He was cheating on you?" he sounded angry now.

I turned my face towards him and gave a small nod. "He was singing that song he wrote for me to some other girl and he didn't even try to say sorry. He tried to make out he was innocent." I stuttered through my tears.

Darry's face softened slightly. He was still mad at what I had done, but I know he hated to see me hurt and to see me so broken. He sat down next to me on the sofa and pulled me up next to him.

"That really stinks Bex, sorry he hurt you like that."

"I wish he was here, I'd go beat his ass right now." Soda growled, sitting down on the other side of me and rubbing my leg.

"Well, you were right about him Darry. He wasn't like I thought." I said bitterly, wiping my face with the back of my hand, embarrassed to have bawled like a baby over a mere boy.

"Well, I ain't happy I was right about him. I don't like to see ya so upset." I snuggled myself into his side. Glad at least for now the yelling was over and that I was being comforted by my brothers instead. I had thought they would be too angry that I had carried on being with Matt when they had told me not to, to want to comfort me now that he had cheated on me. I sighed, feeling very sleepy despite having slept for several hours on the bus.

"Why don't you go get into bed and I'll bring ya a hot chocolate." Darry suggested.

"And a piece of chocolate cake." Soda added with a smile. I smiled back, feeling a hundred times happier now that the truth was out and my brothers still hadn't killed me.

"Thanks Darry, thanks Soda." I went off to my room and got ready for bed, still feeling awful about Matt, but somehow lighter with the anticipation of telling my brothers and facing my punishment no longer hanging over me. A few moments later Darry knocked on my door with a steaming mug of hot chocolate and a slab of chocolate cake for me. Suddenly I was starving,

"Thanks Darry." I said eagerly taking a huge bite of the cake and a large gulp of the creamy hot chocolate. It was exactly what I needed.

"Okay Bex, try and sleep when you've finished that. We'll talk tomorrow about your punishment for all this." Darry sighed then and I felt sorry to have burdened him with yet more trouble.

"Okay Darry, sorry I let you down again."

Darry rubbed the top of my hair and then bent down to kiss me. "We'll talk tomorrow Sweetie. I'm just real glad you got back safely to us, but I'm sorry that kid hurt you."

"I love you Darry."

"I love you too Baby. Sleep good." He said closing the door behind him as he went out. I sipped my hot chocolate and finished my cake mulling over everything. I couldn't believe just how understanding my brothers had been and that they hadn't simply yelled at me for putting myself in danger just to see the boy they had banned me from seeing. At the moment I felt I was getting off lightly, apart from the ache in my heart. I expected Darry had in mind to spank me over this though so my butt would soon be hurting too, maybe it would be a good distraction! I would probably be grounded forever as well, but I didn't mind too much. I just felt like hibernating anyway and would be glad of the excuse not to go anywhere or see anyone for a while. I snuggled down to sleep, glad to back in my bed and safe with my brothers. I was determined not to let Matt have the power to hurt me anymore. That's what I kept saying to myself anyway, maybe at some point it would work.


	37. Chapter 37 - Just rewards

_**Thanks so much to all those who reviewed the last chapter. I'm not that happy with this next chapter, but wanted to get it out there before too long a gap. Please read and review. It makes my day when I hear from you!**_

Chapter 37

**Just rewards**

I woke up the next morning at first feeling disorientated, before it dawned on me that I was back home and then of course all the other things that sleep had momentarily removed from me came flooding back in. It took me all my strength not to just burst into tears as I thought again of Matt and his betrayal and experienced a tangible physical pain in my stomach. I sighed as I also remembered Darry's promise that we would talk about my punishment that day. I knew he had every right to be mad at me. I knew it had been stupid to go off on my own like that in a strange place without anyone's permission. With hindsight I really couldn't believe that I had ever even contemplated doing what I did, but at the time seeing Matt was the all-encompassing thought and any sensible objections to the plan were easily side-lined. I knew Darry was gonna have a lot to say about my still being in touch with Matt all that time as well. I had really let him down big-time and wouldn't be surprised if he never trusted me again. Well, that was the last time I would let a boy make me behave so stupidly. I was never gonna trust another boy as long as I lived, so that should make Darry happy at least. No more worries about dating rules anymore.

It was already 6.00 and I had school that day so I dragged myself out of bed and into the bathroom. By the time I was ready I could hear my brothers setting about their usual morning business. Pony was just heading to the bathroom when I ventured out of my room to get some breakfast.

"Hey Bex, welcome back, you'd already gone to bed when I got back last night."

I smiled at my brother "Hey Pony, yeah I was pretty exhausted. I don't know how much Darry and Soda told you…." I began awkwardly.

"They told me what happened. I'm so mad at Matt, he promised never to hurt you. I wish I could see him and give him what for. He wouldn't have dared to do this if he was still in Tulsa cos he knows he'd have all of us to deal with. I wish I had stopped him at the beginning…"

"Pony, none of this is your fault. You know me, you wouldn't have stopped me seeing Matt even if you had tried to. This was all my stupid fault."

Pony surprised me by pulling me into a hug "It's his fault, not yours. You did nothing wrong." His kindness made tears pool in my eyes again. Then he pulled back from me, "Well nothing except running off across Colorado all on your lonesome." He smirked at me.

"I guess that wasn't the smartest idea I ever had."

"Darry was beside himself when they called and said you had gone. He was all set to drive up there straight away but Soda said to wait."

"I didn't mean to worry anyone, nobody was ever meant to know I had even gone." I confessed sheepishly.

"Well, I figured that much. We're all just glad that you are back and not lost or dead in a ditch somewhere."

I rolled my eyes "That's a bit over dramatic Pony."

He looked serious for a moment "Seriously Bex, we were all real worried about you. We didn't have a clue where you could be and we thought something bad must have happened for you to disappear like that."

"Sorry. You'd better go get ready." Pony nodded as he closed the bathroom door behind him. I was filled with guilt as I realised just how much worry I had put my brothers through by running off. I hadn't thought till now that they would have been imagining the worst. I knew all that would only make Darry even madder and was not looking forward to talking about it. At least I would have to go to school so there wouldn't be time to 'talk' till he got back from work that evening. I wasn't sure if that was better or worse, as not knowing how he was planning to deal with me was also making me anxious.

"Morning Bex." Said Soda as I came into the kitchen and grabbed myself a bowl of cereal. He was already sat at the table munching some toast. Darry was pouring himself some coffee.

"Morning Soda, hey Darry." I sat down nervously and started eating.

"You sleep okay?" Darry asked.

"Pretty good." I said, though it had taken me a while to drop off with my thoughts always returning to Matt and the hurt I was feeling.

"Steve is gonna take you and Pony to school this morning and Tara's gone with her sister, cos Two-Bit's taking his mom to the hospital."

"Why? Is she okay?"

"Yeah, it's nothing bad, it's just a routine thing."

I wasn't too happy that Steve was taking me, as I knew he'd have a few choice words for me for having worried my brothers. He always liked to take the opportunity to get on his high horse and point out my faults.

"Okay." I noticed Darry was not behaving like he was mad with me and was trying to be gentle, but underneath I could tell he was itching to bring up what had happened and was holding back so as not to have a blow-up before school.

"I'll be back by 5.00 tonight Rebecca and then we're gonna have that talk." He said ominously.

"Okay Darry." I agreed meekly. All things considered I was just glad he was even talking to me and wasn't just yelling and throwing things. I guess I had Matt breaking up with me to thank for Darry's uncharacteristic leniency. Well, I hope Matt wasn't expecting a thank you card for that one. I would rather have Darry yelling at me than feel the hollow ache inside that Matt's betrayal had left me with.

Altogether I was not feeling like there was even a bright side to look on. Not only did I have to look forward to facing Darry that evening, but I had to face the principal that morning. I just hoped that Miss Barnes had managed to persuade him not to suspend me or that would just be more fuel for Darry's anger. Steve arrived and beeped his horn outside and we all leaped into action. Pony ran out of his room, his shirt still undone and grabbed a piece of toast on his way past the table, I snatched up my schoolbag and took a last gulp of orange juice before shouting a goodbye to Darry, and Soda quickly slipped his feet into his shoes, leading the way as we all ran for the door. Steve was not known for his patience and had driven off without one or more of us in the past.

"Come on kids, you're gonna make us late for work. Next time be ready to go." Steve predictably complained as we got into the car.

Pony and I just looked at each other and rolled our eyes as we threw ourselves in the back seat, happily leaving Soda to ride shotgun.

"I see the fugitive has returned." Steve remarked snarkily. "What the hell were you thinking kiddo? Do you know how worried your brothers have been?"

I shrugged, not feeling obliged to explain anything to him.

"Can't you stay out of trouble for more than 5 minutes girlie? You do nothing but cause problems." He said nastily with a shake of his head.

I bit my tongue, not wanting to reward him with an answer, despite the urge to yell something sarcastic back at him. I hated when he called me 'Girlie', like I was some little kid.

"Lay off her Steve." Soda said and then started chatting to Steve about some plans they had to go to the rodeo when it was on in Oklahoma. I was thankful for Soda for sticking up for me and for taking the spotlight off of me. I was not in the right frame of mind or feeling emotionally strong enough to take a battering from Steve. Normally I could hold my own, but I was feeling pretty fragile right now and was just as likely to burst into tears if he had carried on. Soda and Pony both knew me well enough to realise that. Pony gave my hand a squeeze.

"Just ignore him Bex." He said in a low voice. "He's just an ass."

I gave him a faint smile back and was glad to see we were at the Junior High. "Bye Pony, bye Soda, thanks for the lift Steve."

"Two-Bit will pick you up as usual, be out in the parking lot." Soda yelled after me. I raised my hand to acknowledge him and then turned to go into school and face my doom with the Principal.

As instructed by Miss Barnes I went straight to his office first thing to find out my fate. I was told to wait outside his office and could hear voices inside. After a few moments Miss Barnes came out and gave me an encouraging smile.

"Principal Roberts will see you now Rebecca." She said and motioned for me to go in. I really hoped she had done a good job of persuading him to go easy on me.

"Miss Curtis." He said in a steely voice as I went in and he pointed to the chair in front of his desk. "Take a seat."

I sat down and reluctantly made eye contact with him across the desk. "Miss Barnes has just been relaying to me everything that happened during the field trip to Colarado and quite frankly I am shocked and disappointed at your irresponsible behaviour. It was extremely foolish and dangerous to venture off on your own, in an unfamiliar place and especially to do so without anybody knowing where you were. Your teachers were responsible for you while you were in their care and if something had happened to you it would have put all of us in a very difficult position, apart from the upset it would have caused your family. Do you have anything at all to say in your defence?"

I swallowed, not exactly sure that anything I had to say would make any difference but thought I owed it to myself to try "I'm really sorry for worrying the teachers and I will never do anything like that again. I went to see a friend and I did tell one other person where I was in case anything happened, but I got back okay. I realise now it was not a good idea and I am sorry." I meant it too, I was sorry that I had ever gone, although if I hadn't goodness knows how long it would have been before I found out Matt's true character…

"Yes, I'm glad you are sorry Miss Curtis. I had in mind to suspend you for this but Miss Barnes has a put a word in in your favour. Instead of a full suspension you will serve 2 weeks of in school suspension. That means you will do all your work at a desk here in the school office and you will also spend recess here. In the lunch hour you will be on garbage collection around the grounds or will be given other jobs around the school. You will have no contact with the other students within school hours and you will also be given 2 weeks of detentions once the suspension is over. I hope you are clear Miss Curtis that what you did was very serious, very dangerous and I hope you will take your punishment seriously as well. I am thoroughly disappointed that you let your school and yourself down in this way. Is that all clear?"

"Yes sir." I nodded, inwardly groaning. These next 2 weeks were going to be painfully slow and boring but at least I would be saved the agony of having to talk to anybody about Matt. I didn't really want to see anybody except for Tara anyway. If I wasn't grounded then I would be able to see her after school, but I knew that it would be a miracle if Darry didn't put me on house arrest for the rest of my life.

"Go to your locker and pick up your things and then I will make sure you have a list of assignments for each of your classes. Off you go now. And don't forget to thank Miss Barnes for protecting your permanent record. You are lucky I was feeling generous."

"Yes sir, thank you." I said automatically and then went off to collect my things. I was put at a desk in the corner of the secretaries' office and told to keep quiet and get on. I sighed and set to work diligently. Doing what I could and leaving the bits of work that I really didn't get till last. I wasn't sure who to ask for help if I got stuck.

The secretaries were obviously not very pleased to have a student in the office, curtailing their chat and preventing their usual gossip about the staff. They gave me lots of dirty looks and busied themselves importantly until they realised I wasn't interested in noticing what they were doing. So, after a while I apparently blended into the background and it was a bit of light relief to hear them airing their opinions about the teachers and their private lives. I got lots of interesting tit-bits to share with my classmates as long as I feigned deep concentration and didn't appear to be listening at all. The morning went slowly though and I was glad when I was escorted to the canteen by the receptionist to buy lunch. I was told to eat quickly before being shown to the geography classroom and given a ruler in order to scrape all the gum off the underside of the desks. This was a tedious and unrewarding job and I broke 2 rulers before the lunchbreak was over and I was called back to my desk. The afternoon was much the same as the morning. I managed to complete all my work, although I wasn't sure about my English essay on Macbeth. I had to show all my work to Principal Roberts before leaving. He gave it a cursory glance before nodding and telling me to come straight back to my desk the next morning.

I went out into the parking lot to find Two-Bit waiting. "Finally Bex, I thought you'd run off again." He teased.

I was feeling tired and grumpy after my day, so wasn't much in the mood for Two-Bit's teasing "Sorry, I had to see Principal Roberts before I was allowed to leave." I grumbled.

"Bexster, you are turning into a hardened criminal. There was a time when the Principal didn't know you were, now you're on his most wanted list." Two-Bit grinned. I didn't find it funny, cos it was too close to the truth. I just grunted.

"Don't look so miserable little Bex, it can't be so bad, at least you didn't get suspended. One less thing for Darry to yell at you for."

"What did you get?" Pony asked gently.

"I got a 2 week in-school suspension and then 2 weeks of detentions after that, plus I gotta do loads of chores around the school every lunchtime."

Two-Bit whistled "Well, they ain't letting you off lightly, still you're here and you're alive and that's the main thing, that is at least until Darry deals with you this evening. I'm sure he has in mind to warm your butt for ya."

I blushed as I threw myself in the back seat. "Shut up Two-Bit, it ain't funny and I ain't in the mood."

Two-bit just laughed and jumped in the front.

"Where's Tara?" I asked Pony.

"She's got detention all this week so Sam is picking her up."

"Yep, that's what she gets for befriending a convict like you Bex." Two-Bit teased.

I crossed my arms and sighed. I felt bad that Tara had got into trouble cos of me and my plan. I didn't need Two-Bit to rub it in. I chose not to answer him, feeling too miserable to come up with a good enough response. Two-bit laid off me a bit after that, as he must have noticed I wasn't in the mood for too much ribbing.

When I got in I threw myself down on the couch and turned the tv on. I guessed this may be my last chance to do so for a while, as I was sure to be grounded and restricted to my room with no TV. I glanced out of the window as I heard a big clap of thunder. A storm had been brewing all day and it looked like it had finally got here. That meant I wouldn't have long before facing Darry, as rain always put a stop to his work. I was glad he wasn't allowed to stay out there balancing on a slippery roof in risk of being struck by lightning. It was risky enough in good conditions, so his boss always sent them home. Sure enough 20 minutes later Darry came home to find Pony and me flopped on the couch watching Mister Ed.

"Hey guys, had a good day at school?" he looked meaningfully at me. I knew Principal Roberts had already called him to discuss my punishment, so I didn't know why he was asking me.

"It was fine." Said Pony. "We have some mock exam papers next week, so we just did loads of revision."

"Shouldn't you be in your room studying then Pone?"

Pony sighed and shrugged getting reluctantly up from the couch and trudging off to his room, which was Darry's main intention since he wanted to talk to me alone.

"I guess Principal Roberts spoke to you about my punishment at school?" I asked.

"Yeah, you're very lucky that Miss Barnes took up for you that way. He was well within his rights to suspend you for what you did, so count yourself lucky you just got an in-school suspension."

I held back the urge to roll my eyes. I wouldn't exactly call it lucky to be stuck in the school office all day and doing all the dirty jobs around the school, but I bit my tongue and resisted comment.

"I guess we need to have that chat now Rebecca, why don't you go to your room and I'll be along in a minute. It's more private there."

My stomach flipped as I had a strong feeling what the chat would involve and I was dreading it, but I did as I was told and went off to my room to wait. My nerves made it impossible to keep still and I paced in my room waiting for Darry to come. He knocked on my door a few minutes later and came in, motioning for me to sit down on the bed, while he stayed standing.

"I'm not gonna repeat myself Rebecca, I've already said how disappointed I am in your behaviour and the danger you put yourself in, as well as how you have abused our trust in you by carrying on the relationship with Matt. It hurts that you did what you did and I cannot tell you how worried we all were when you went missing like that."

I just looked down at my lap and nodded, avoiding eye contact with Darry, as I was sure I would start crying if I looked at him right then. The mere mention of Matt on its own was enough to put me on the edge of tears, but at that moment it was more the idea of having worried and disappointed Darry and Soda, and I guess Pony too. I had managed to rebuild some of their trust after the party fiasco and now I had lost it all over again.

"Look at me Becky." Darry commanded. So I looked up, meeting his eyes and my lip quivered as I saw his serious expression. "I want you to know that we all love you and we couldn't do without you in this family. It would have killed us if something had happened to you while you were off on your own. You put yourself in a very vulnerable position and it's just lucky nothing bad did happen. I'm sorry that you got hurt by that boy, but that doesn't mean I'm gonna go easy on you with your punishment cos this is serious Rebecca. You can't go round doing things like that. You are grounded for 3 weeks and you will not be going anywhere without either myself, Soda or one of the gang for a long time to come. Until we feel we can trust you again." The tears were coursing down my face again.

"I'm sorry to have scared you Darry, I didn't mean to and I promise I won't do anything like that ever again. I know now that it was stupid. I've learned my lesson Darry, you really don't need to spank me."

Darry pursed his lips "Sorry Baby. I'm glad you realise what you did was wrong, but you still need to take the punishment. It's the only way I know to make you remember."

"Please Darry…" I wheedled, desperate to avoid going across his knee again.

"Enough Rebecca!" he snapped "I'm not discussing with you about this." He sat down next to me on my bed and patted his lap "Come on, let's get this over with."

Reluctantly I postioned myself over his lap, with my upper body draped across the bed. I was wearing a skirt so all he had to do was flip it up and he began straight away causing me to yelp as his huge hand fell firmly on my butt. There was no let up and barely a pause between each smack and I lost count after 25 since I was crying too hard.

"Ouch Darry, no more please." I pleaded, but he hardened his heart and ignored me, carrying on for a couple more minutes before finally stopping and rubbing my back consolingly.

"It's over Baby. Let's just move on now and make a fresh start." He pulled me up so that I was standing between his legs, purposely avoiding any contact with my burning rear end. I sobbed into his shoulder as he wrapped his big arms around me. I hated getting spanked by him, but it was one of the few times that he ever really hugged me like that, so I enjoyed the feeling of being safe and loved in his arms. I knew he didn't spank me to hurt me, but to teach me, to help me, to try and do his job as my surrogate parent. I knew all that and the hug just helped to reinforce it. Even when the tears had subsided I resisted when he tried to push me out of the hug and he indulged me for a couple more minutes. I was almost falling asleep on his shoulder when he finally made a move.

"Okay Sweetie, I have to go and take a shower before dinner. Are you okay?"

"Yes Darry, I am sorry, really. I love you."

"I know you're sorry and I love you too Bex. Seeing as you're grounded, you'd better stay in your room till dinner. Do you have homework?"

I shook my head "No, I got it all done at school. It's real boring sitting there by myself outside the office, so I did all my homework as well as the stuff from class."

"Well, maybe you should stay there all the time." Darry grinned.

I scowled at him "Bad idea! I would die of boredom and become a lonely old hermit with no friends."

He laughed "So dramatic!"

"It's true! I didn't speak to anyone except the Principal all day today. It was such a long day!"

"Well, that's why it's a punishment. I'm still just glad he didn't suspend you. It's not what we need on your record with social services on top of us the whole time."

I rolled my eyes "Yeah, yeah, I know. It still sucks though."

"Well, if you don't do anything stupid it'll never happen again will it?" he said more sternly, I knew he was annoyed at my eye roll.

"Go have your shower then Darry, I'll just read my book till dinner." I said ushering him out before I made him mad again.

"Trying to get rid of me? Okay I can take a hint. Be good." He said pointing a finger at me, then went out closing the door behind him. I threw myself back on my bed, wincing as my sore butt hit the mattress and turning onto my side to avoid any further contact. Despite the sting I felt that I had gotten off lightly. I knew, despite what Darry had said, that he was going easy on me because of Matt and the punishment could have been a lot worse considering what I'd done. Suddenly I was overwhelmed with tiredness and a feeling of melancholy. I closed my eyes, trying to block out the thoughts of Matt which overwhelmed me whenever I had a moment to myself. I still felt a physical pain whenever I remembered him and that was often. I hoped it wouldn't last, but didn't see how I could ever feel happy again or move on from this. I fell asleep, glad of the respite from my thoughts.


	38. Chapter 38 - Closure

_**I'm sorry for the delay in posting this chapter. I just have not had a moment to sit and write with in-laws visiting from abroad etc. etc. I hope you enjoy this next chapter. Thanks for all who reviewed the last one. Please read and review, I love to hear from you!**_

Chapter 38

**Closure**

That week at school was the longest and most excruciating I have ever experienced. I hated being on my own the whole time. I had thought I would be able to manage to snatch a moment with Tara, as I was desperate to talk to her, but it never seemed to work out and her sister had been taking her to school the whole week because she had broken up with her boyfriend and had to drive herself anyway. The closest I came to seeing was when I caught a glimpse of her out of the cafeteria window when I was picking up garbage in the school yard as part of my punishment. She had waved and I waved back, but I was accompanied by a teacher, so she couldn't come out and talk to me.

I was fed up with the situation at school of course, but most of all I was feeling generally miserable because of what had happened with Matt. I couldn't help feeling that it was my fault. That I must be totally unlovable and unattractive to have made Matt go after someone else, as well as being gullible and foolish to have fallen for Matt's charade, if that's what it was. I couldn't stop remembering all the times he had told me he loved me and made me feel special and pretty. Were those all really a lie or did he mean it at the time? I wanted to believe that he had meant it, but surely if he had then he wouldn't have so easily strayed to someone else once I was out of sight. I wished I could just forget him and get on with my life, which once this punishment was over would not be much different minus Matt, than it had been for the past few months when he had been gone anyway. But of course even though he had been away from me physically he had been there in my thoughts and in my heart. I had not stopped loving him the way he had me. I didn't love him now, but he had the power to hurt me still and I so wished he didn't.

Darry, Soda and Pony had noticed how down I was and despite enforcing my grounding and not letting me go anywhere without one of them, they were being kind to me. I had more hugs from Soda that week than I had had in the last month and Pony had even offered to help with my extra chores. Darry had let me off washing up a couple of nights and told me to go rest. I wasn't sleeping well and was constantly tired with big bags under my eyes. I knew I looked almost as bad as I felt. That weekend I steeled myself for a tedious time of being stuck in my room reading or listening to the radio, which is basically what happened that Saturday morning. I even got so bored I tidied my room, which had been somewhat neglected in my state of melancholy. I was tidying my bed up when I discovered all Matt's letters and it was like a stab to my heart. My stomach turned to ice and I flopped down on the floor beside my bed. I turned them over in my hands and I couldn't stop myself from reading them. The reminder of his apparent sweetness and his kind words just made it all so much worse. I was still there, clutching the letters, with tears rolling down my cheeks when Soda came to get me for lunch.

"Oh Baby." He said on seeing me. He leaned down and pulled me up to sit next to him on the bed. "I'm sorry Sweetie, I wish I could do something more to help." He hugged me to him and I clung on to him, sobbing freely by then.

"It just hurts." Was all I could choke out through my tears.

"I know it does Baby, but it will get easier, I promise you." Now I had started crying I couldn't stop and he must have stayed there with me holding onto him like that for at least 5 minutes until my sobs finally turned into shudders and my tears had soaked his t-shirt. I vaguely registered my door opening in the middle of it all and guessed it must have been Darry coming to find out why we hadn't come for lunch yet. I felt Soda nod, presumably telling Darry he had it under control. Finally I pulled away and noticed the huge wet patch on Soda's shirt.

"Sorry." I muttered brushing over it with my fingers.

"No problem Honey. I needed to change after work anyhow." He grinned. "I know how I was after Sandy. Crying is good and time will help, I promise. You don't need him, Bex. You are beautiful, smart and kind and you're still so young Sweetie. One of these days, or preferably one of these years, you'll meet someone else, someone who will love you and treat you how you deserve. I found Sarah didn't I? Sandy broke my heart, but Sarah has helped put it back together and she loves me. You'll find someone like that when you're ready and Matt will be totally insignificant. I know it doesn't feel like that now." Soda stroked my hair and I nodded. "Are you ready for some lunch? Are you feeling any better?"

Strangely I was. It was good to finally let it all out and though I was still sad a good cry and a hug and some brotherly advice from Soda had worked wonders. "Yeah, I feel a bit better, though I bet I look pretty gross right now." My eyes felt sore and my nose was snotty and my hair was dishevelled where Soda had been stroking my head.

"Pretty much." He said and grinned as I pouted and gave him a shove.

"I need to go clean myself up in the bathroom, Can you tell Darry I'll be along for lunch in a minute?"

"Sure. Hey Bex, you know what we should do after lunch?"

"What?" I asked, having no idea what he could be thinking.

"We should burn those letters. That might help you feel better too." He said gesturing to the offending letters which were now abandoned on the floor.

I smiled back at him and nodded "That sounds like a good plan." I agreed before heading off to the bathroom to take care of my blotchy and tear streaked face.

I heaved a deep sigh of relief as I washed my face and tried to tame my hair. I felt a bit more like myself after some of the load had been lifted by sharing it with Soda. I was grateful again for him and my other brothers. They were on my side, they were there for me and they were doing all they could to help me through this. Soda knew what it was like, he had been through it with Sandy. Darry understood too, his girlfriend had dumped him when he had changed his college plans after Mom and Dad died, nice, right? Pony was yet to have a girl, but he had always been sensitive and I knew he felt my pain even if he didn't understand it as much as the others. Half the time it really sucked to be the youngest but at times like this, when I was surrounded by so much love and protection, it was hard not to feel blessed instead. I was determined for them that I would try and pull through and cheer up, even if I didn't feel like it inside. I knew it killed them to see me hurting, so for the sake of my brothers I was gonna try and put a brave face on things as much as I could. I took in another deep breath and braced myself as I headed to the kitchen for lunch.

"Hey Bex, you feeling okay now?" Darry asked, the concern showing fully on his face.

I smiled to reassure him "Yeah, I'm feeling a bit better Dar, thanks. Sorry I've been so miserable."

"Hey, don't apologise Becky, we get it. You have a right to feel that way ya know?" he reassured me.

I nodded. "I know, but I wanna stop feeling like that. I wanna get back to my old self."

Darry gave me a sad smile "You will Baby."

"Do we have to have the old Becky back?" Soda teased "Can't we have a less sassy one or one who doesn't turn all feral on us once a month?"

I whacked him on the arm and he laughed, joined by Darry and Pony.

"Yeah, a new improved version would be good, can you work on that one Bex?" Pony added with a grin.

"As soon as you work on not being a wise-ass!" I grouched back, but I wasn't really annoyed.

"Hey! Language Bex!" Darry scolded me, but there was no heat in it, as he was still grinning.

I grinned back at him. It was good to be the butt of my brothers' jokes again and to be able to laugh. Matt couldn't take any of that away from me, I thought with some satisfaction. Predictably in the middle of lunch Two-Bit turned up and joined us for soup and bread. As usual his presence was uplifting. He had done his fair share of trying to cheer me up all that week, but to not much avail, so he was happy when I actually joined in and raised a laugh at his jokes too.

"You're looking a bit more like the old Bexster we know and love." He commented.

"Yeah, Soda and I had a heart to heart and I know I need to move on."

"Too right, I'm here for ya whenever you're ready." He said holding his arms out towards me.

I rolled my eyes. I did love Two-Bit, but definitely not in that way and I know he didn't feel that way about me either, thankfully. "Yeah right, I'm sad, not desperate." I sassed.

"You wound me Bex." He said putting his hand over his heart. "And here I was about to offer to take you out for that ice-cream I owe ya. Remember? I promised to shout you an ice-cream months ago, but you've been too busy with all your drama to take me up on it. How about it shortie?"

I had forgotten his promise of free ice-cream after that time he ratted me out about Matt being in the house with me. That seemed like years ago, but was really only a few months. "I can't Two-Bit, I'm grounded remember?"

"That's okay Becky, if you wanna go I'll let you off for the afternoon. You deserve a treat." Darry said, unexpectedly lenient for once. Usually there was no bending with his punishments, but I think he could see how much I needed cheering up and knew that Two-Bit could be a real tonic for me. "Don't get used to it though, you'll be back on restrictions after this afternoon." He added, just so I knew he wasn't letting me off completely.

"Thanks Darry." I smiled and leaned over to kiss him on the cheek, making him smile back. "Okay then Two-Bit, I'll take you up on that."

"Tuff enough. When shall we go?"

"Well, Becky and me had something we wanted to do first, right Bex?" Soda reminded me and I remembered his idea to burn the letters. It felt like the right thing to do if I was really gonna try and put this all behind me. I wanted Matt gone from my life.

"Yeah, Soda, let me just get all the stuff from my room." I ran off to my room, grabbing an old grocery bag from the kitchen on my way. I stood and looked round my room and then started collecting together everything that linked me to Matt. The letters, my record, the photo, even my necklace. I hesitated about that, thinking maybe I should try and sell it, but I wasn't sure if I wanted to even use the money if I did manage to do that. I didn't want to be connected to him in any way anymore. I went back into the living room with the bag and Soda stood up.

"Let's go out back and use the barbecue huh?" he suggested.

I nodded. I felt emotional but also determined to follow through with this and I followed Soda down the porch steps and round the back of the house, where we had an old rusting barbecue. He had some lighter fluid and a box of matches with him.

"Okay baby, put everything onto the grill."

I felt nervous for some reason. It was just a symbolic act, but somehow it felt huge. I was about to destroy my memories and all the good things I had had with Matt, as well as putting his hurtful actions behind me. It wasn't an easy thing to do and Soda understood my hesitation.

"Take your time Honey." He encouraged and I delved my hand into the grocery bag, bringing out the bundle of letters. I placed them on the grill, adding the record on top and the photo of Matt and me, taken at his birthday party. Last of all I draped the necklace over the pile.

"Is that everything Sweetie?" Soda checked. I nodded, unable to speak through the lump in my throat. "Okay, do you wanna do the honours?" he asked, handing me the lighter fluid.

I took it from him and squirted it liberally all over the heap of memories and Soda handed me the box of matches. My hand was shaking and my eyes were blurry as I struck the match and threw it on top. I was surprised by how quickly the flames took. Soda and I took a step back and Soda stood with his arm around me, gently rubbing my shoulder as the tears ran down my cheeks. "Bye Matt." I whispered as I saw the flames burn through our faces on the photo. We stood there and watched for several minutes as the pile turned to ash. All that was left was a blob of molten gold where the necklace had once been. I breathed a huge sigh and wiped my tears away with the back of my arm. I felt strangely tired, but also calm and less knotted up inside than I had for the past week. I felt like I had let Matt go and that felt right and good, not bad or sad now that it was done.

"Thanks Soda." I said smiling as I turned to hug him "That really helped."

"I'm glad Sweetie. I hope it did help, I hope you can put him in the past now. Your life will be much better without him."

I nodded, for the first actually agreeing with that idea. I would be better off without Matt. I could just be me now. I went back inside to find Two-Bit.

"All done with the ceremony?" he asked with a grin.

"Yep."

"Okay, let's go celebrate then."

"Can I come?" Pony asked.

"Nuh-uh." Two-Bit said "I never promised_ you_ no ice-cream young Curtis. This is between me and Bexster. It's kinda like a date." He said raising one eyebrow and winking.

"No it ain't!" I said indignantly, slapping him on the arm, which only made him laugh.

"See, she can't keep her hands off me."

I rolled my eyes, but couldn't help laughing. In fact, now that I was all cried out I felt happier than I had in ages and I could barely keep from smiling right then.

"Come on then." I said grabbing his arm and dragging him to the door.

"So eager." Two-Bit teased again. "See ya later guys."

"Bye!" I yelled, anxious to leave before Two-bit got carried away and embarrassed me completely with his silly antics.

Two-Bit and I had a lot of fun in the Dairy Queen. He bought me an enormous chocolate sundae, which was heavenly and he basically had me laughing the whole time with his far-fetched stories about him and some other greasers who had nearly got caught trying to get into the rodeo for free a couple of weeks ago. I about wet myself when he told how he had had to hide under a heap of hay and horse manure in order to avoid getting arrested and how he almost got caught when the horse added another poo to the pile while he was under it and he had had to stop himself from yelling out. Of course, he also spent half the time at the Dairy queen trying to chat up Hannah, our waitress, who, to her credit, took it all in good spirit. Even his flirting didn't annoy me that afternoon, it was always amusing to watch Two-Bit trying to chat up a girl, he really was funny.

"What about you and Cathy?" I asked as he drove me home. "I thought you were an item?"

"Kinda, ya know, she's my girl, but I like to keep my options open. I can't deprive other girls of my scintillating conversation just cos I got a girl can I?"

"Two-Bit! You're terrible, That's as bad as what Matt did to me."

Two-Bit looked shocked at the comparison. "That ain't the same thing. Cathy knows what I'm like and she likes it. She likes flirting with other guys when I ain't around too, so we both know how the land lies. We still love each other though, that's all that matters, huh?"

I shook my head "Well, if I ever have another boyfriend, which I don't plan to right now, I ain't gonna let him treat me that way."

"Glad to hear it Bex, you can do better than someone like me." He said in all seriousness.

I smiled fondly at Two-Bit "I dunno Two-Bit, I could do a lot worse too."

"Are you chatting me up young Bexster?" he said in mock surprise.

"Shutup Two-Bit. You know that ain't what I meant. I just mean you're a good friend and a good person even if you are the world's biggest flirt."

"Well, I'll take that as a compliment young Bex, thank you!" he said with a wink and we both laughed.

An afternoon with Two-Bit was like some kinda therapy session. I felt revitalised and positive and I didn't even mind that I had to go stay in my room again once I got home. I felt an inner contentment and was glad how things had turned out that day. Soda's suggestion to burn Matt's stuff had really helped, a cathartic removal of Matt from my life and my time with Two-Bit was the kind of medicine I had needed to remind me of all the good things in life even with Matt gone.

My mood in general lifted over the coming days. I still had moments of sadness over Matt, but I really found it easier now that I had made a conscious decision to move on, to leave him in the past and to get on with my life without him hanging over me. Everything was easier now that he was no longer dragging me down, so when a letter arrived for me in the mail the following Wednesday, I wasn't sure how to react. Of course, it was from Matt, who else would be writing to me? I recognised his hand writing straight away.

"Do you want me just to get rid of it?" asked Pony, who had brought the mail in from the mailbox.

I shook my head. "I think I oughta read it." I muttered, unsure if that was really what I should do.

Pony nodded "Okay. Do you want me to sit with you?" he offered.

I was grateful for Pony's thoughtfulness and sensitivity, I knew he felt awkward about how to handle the whole Matt situation, but he still offered to help.

"S'okay Pone, thanks. I'll go read it in my room."

"Took him long enough to get round to writing." Pony commented in a scathing tone. He was still really mad at Matt over what had happened and was disgusted with the way he had treated me.

"Yeah." Was the only response I could muster, as I made my way into my room, closing the door behind me. I sat on my bed looking at the envelope in my hands. My heart was racing and I felt nauseous. "It's only a letter." I muttered to myself. "It doesn't mean anything."

I steeled myself as I ripped open the letter, pulling out the sheet of blue writing paper. I read his words:

_Dear Becky,_

_I am sorry it has taken me this long to write to you, it has taken me this long to think of what to say and I still don't think I have it right. I hope you will read this and not just throw it away, which is all I deserve, I'm sure. I know you must hate me right now and I deserve it. _

_I was so surprised to see you there in Denver, I wish I had known you were coming so that we could have spent some time together, instead of what did happen. I am really sorry that you had to find me like that with Martha. I want you to know that I really did write that song for you and it was your song, I don't want you to think that I lied to you about that or about the way I felt about you. I did love you Becky and I meant all the things I said. You are a special person and I am sorry for hurting you. _

_I missed you so much when I moved away to California and I wanted so much to make it work, but it was just too difficult. When I met Martha, she reminded me of you with her beautiful red hair like yours and her green eyes. I know it's no excuse for what I did, but she was a substitute for you Becky and she couldn't compare to the real thing. I am sure you can't forgive me and I get that we are over because of what I have done, but I wanted you to know that I am sorry, that I did, and still do, really love you and I will never forgive myself for hurting you. I wish I could make it all better and that you could forget what you saw, but I know I don't deserve that and that it would be too much to expect you to ever trust me again after what I did._

_I hope you are happy and that you don't doubt how special and lovely you are. I miss you and wish I could take everything that happened back, but I know that is impossible. I wish you a happy life and hope you won't hate me forever._

_Love, Matt_

I felt tears running down my cheeks as I read the letter. It wasn't sadness though, I felt relieved. I hadn't been such a fool, I believed him when he said he had meant those things. I had felt it at the time and now I knew I had been right. He had loved me, it was real and now I could move on completely. He was wrong about one thing though, I _could_ forgive him. Now I knew that he wasn't setting out to deceive me or hurt me, now I knew that he had just been weak and lonely, I could forgive him. He was in the wrong of course, but knowing that I had been right about his love for me was more important to me than any of the other things. I didn't hate him, I didn't love him anymore and I didn't want to be with him, but I could forgive him and that made moving on so much easier. I sighed with relief and wiped away my tears. The last that I would cry over Matt, I hoped. I looked at the letter in my hand. Should I burn it, along with everything else, or hold onto it to remind myself that he was forgiven? I wasn't sure what was the right thing to do.

Soda came home an hour later and Pony must have told him about the letter, as he came and knocked gently on my door almost straight away.

"Come in Soda." I called.

He looked at me cautiously as I lay sprawled on the bed reading my book. "How are you doing Becky?"

I smiled at him "I'm okay Soda, really. I guess Pony told you about the letter from Matt. Here, you can read it if you want to." I said holding the letter out to him. He took him from me and silently read it. He looked up from the letter at me.

"Do you believe him?"

I nodded "Yeah, I do and I forgive him."

Soda raised his eyebrows. "You do?"

"Yeah, I do. Now I know he did love me, I can forgive him and I feel much better Soda, I really do."

He smiled. "That's great Baby, I'm so glad." He sat by me on the bed and put his hand to my cheek before kissing me on the head.

"Soda?"

"Yes, Honey."

"Do you think I oughta burn this letter, like the others?"

"I don't know. If it makes you feel better to keep it, then keep it, but if keeping it reminds you of all the hurt, then burn it."

"I think I'm gonna keep it. It doesn't remind me of all the hurt, it just reminds of the good bits of what we had. I think it's good to remember those."

"I think you're right Bex. You're quite a wise old bird for someone so little." He said, giving me a nudge in the ribs. I jolted back, as he got me right on my most ticklish spot. This only served to remind Soda of how ticklish I am and he launched an attack, tickling me all over until I was screaming for mercy and tears of laughter were running down my cheeks.

"Some things never change, no matter how wise and grown up you get!" Soda said with glee. "You're still always at risk of a tickle attack from one of your brothers and don't you forget it!"

I stuck my tongue out at him, but I was still grinning. "I really need to pee now." I complained "That's all your fault!" and I left Soda laughing as I darted to the bathroom.


	39. Chapter 39 - Endings and beginnings

**Thanks to FrankElza, MiniHorseMeadow and Ponygirlrunner25 for reviewing the last chapter. I am sorry it wasn't to everyone's taste. I feel like I have partially lost the feel for this story and am drawing it to a close with this chapter since I get the impression that not many people are reading or enjoying it anymore and I am finding it hard to get motivated to write! I really appreciate the support of my regular readers and hope you enjoy this last chapter. If I re-find my enthusiasm I may write a sequel about Becky's first year at high school and maybe a blossoming new relationship with Caleb, also maybe Darry and Rose will tie the knot and maybe Tara and Pony may start to see each other in a new light?….those are just some ideas, so I may come back to this if anyone is interested to read more. Please read and review and thanks as always for taking the time to read this!**

Chapter 39

**_Endings and beginnings_**

My grounding was finally up, as well as my enforced solitary confinement at school. Life was getting back to normal. The first thing I did on that Sunday once Darry said I was free was to call Tara and arrange to go round to her place that afternoon. I was in desperate need of some female company and of Tara's wise words and listening ear. I knew she had been just as desperate to see me too and find out all the details of what had gone on with Matt and since then. I really hadn't had a proper chance to talk to her since our conversation in the bathroom at the diner on the way back from Denver. That seemed like aeons ago!

I knocked at her door and within seconds she was there flinging the door open and grabbing me in a tight hug.

"Oh my gosh Bex, I have missed you so much!" she squealed.

I laughed at her enthusiastic welcome. "Yeah me too, Tara. I can't believe we have not even been able to talk for so long. It's been killing me!" I said as Tara finally released me and grabbed my hand, dragging me to her room, so we could talk in private. Her Mom was in the kitchen and Sam was probably around somewhere too. "I thought I would get a chance to catch you at school, but with you not hitching a ride with Two-Bit anymore and me being on lockdown there it's been impossible! I can't wait to get back to classes next week and away from those whiney secretaries – man they spend their whole time gossiping about the teachers and about the kids and anything else under the sun!"

We flopped down on Tara's bed.

"So, how are you doing Bex?" Tara said looking at me anxiously. "I wish I coulda been there for you, I know you must be hurting so bad after what Matt did to you."

I smiled "Thanks Tara, I know you would have been there if you could. Darry was being real strict about my grounding and not even letting me call anyone. But, actually I'm doing okay now. I was really miserable when I got back from Denver and couldn't stop crying half the time. I just felt so hurt and stupid and like it was because of me…."

"No way Bex, none of this was your fault." Tara jumped in.

"Yeah, I do know that now. It took a while and he wrote me a letter."

"He did? What did he have to say for himself?" She said sceptically.

"He said sorry and that he had meant the things he said when we were together, but basically just admitted he was weak and stupid…."

"We'd already worked that one out." Tara interrupted in a scathing tone.

"It did make me feel better though. To know that it wasn't because he had lied about liking me, just that he was too weak to stay faithful, not that he hadn't cared and just forgot me. I don't why, but it really helped me be able to forgive and forget and move on. I still don't wanna ever see him again or be near him, but I feel like he's in the past and I don't have to feel sad about it."

"I think I get it. It was obvious to anyone that he really did love you. I don't think I could be so forgiving though if it were me. _I_ haven't forgiven him for hurting you, but I'm happy if it helps you to be able to do that. Were Darry and Soda really mad when you got back from Denver?"

"Pretty mad. Darry gave me a whooping and of course I've been grounded, but actually they have all been pretty sweet and kind cos of what happened with Matt. They didn't just say 'I told you so', which I guess they coulda done. I've just been real glad of all my brothers this past couple of weeks.."

"For once you see how good it is to have all those boys protecting you, huh? I've always been saying how lucky you are, finally you get it."

I laughed "Yeah, right now it's good, but other times it's a pain in the ass, you know that!"

"Sure, sure. Can you believe in a few weeks it's finals and then we're done at junior high? We're gonna be in high school!"

"That seems so grown up, I don't feel like I'm ready, do you?"

"Yeah, I'm more than ready for all those football players and senior boys. Let me at 'em."

I rolled my eyes and shook my head with a grin "Tara! You are so bad, is that all you think about?"

She grinned back "Well, not all the time, just most of it. It's good to have focus, isn't that what they say?"

"I don't think they are talking about being focussed on boys when they say that. So what's happening with you and Craig?"

Tara smiled "Well, we went on another date Friday night and I think he may ask me to go steady. He seems quite keen."

"And what about you, are you keen on him too?"

"Yeah, I do really like him. He's a great guy, but I don't know if I like him enough. I like hanging out with him and going on the odd date, but I'm not sure if I really want to go steady with him."

"So, if he asks you, what will you say?"

Tara groaned and put her hands over her face "I haven't figured that one out yet, what do you think I should say?"

"I don't know, maybe just that you wanna go on a few more dates first before you agree to going steady. If you're not sure then you definitely shouldn't just say yes because he's asking, that would not be fair to him and then you'll be stuck in an awkward situation if you realise it's really not what you want…"

"I guess so, but what if he loses interest if I say no? I still like him and I don't wanna stop going out with him and stuff, I'm just not sure I can commit to him and him alone right now."

"I guess, if he wants to be with you enough to ask you to go steady then he'll be willing to accept your terms. He won't wanna stop seeing you if he likes you that much just cos you don't feel ready to make that step with him. He's not like Carl is he?"

"No, you're right, he's not like Carl, but I guess I am worried about it because of what happened with him. As soon as I said no to him he lost interest, I don't want that to happen with Craig."

I gave her a sideways hug "I don't think it will, but you have be true to what you want anyway, even if it risks him not wanting to go on dates any more. I don't think that will happen, but you can't just say you wanna go steady with him for that reason."

"You're right, I know you are. I just needed to hear you say it! I cannot tell you how much I missed having you to listen and talk to these past couple of weeks."

"Same here. I am so over being grounded. From now on I will be on my best behaviour cos I feel like I've been grounded practically the whole time since I turned 13!"

"Actually, that's not far from the truth. You have turned into a real teenage rebel these days." Tara teased.

"It's all down to your influence of course. I'm surprised Darry hasn't banned me from keeping company with such a hood."

"Hey!" Tara gave me a hard nudge in the ribs.

"Ouch that hurt!" I complained.

"Serves you right!" she said shoving me again and making me topple off the bed, but I dragged her with me and we both ended up lying on the floor convulsed in laughter.

"You are such a dork!" I said through my laughter.

"Takes one to know one." She said

"Hey girls…" her Mom began coming into the room, she stopped mid-sentence as she saw us in a heap on the floor, "What on earth are you girls up to?!"

This only made us laugh even harder and Tara's Mom shook her head and smiled at our silliness. "I was just gonna ask if you wanted some cookies and milk. I just made a batch of peanut butter and chocolate chip." Tara's Mom loved to bake, but rarely got the chance as she was always working so much.

"Thank you Mrs Horton." I managed to say as I tried to pull myself together and we picked ourselves up and headed for the kitchen, following the delicious scent of melting chocolate.

I have never been so happy to go to class as I was that following week. It was so good to be back with my fellow classmates and be able to have a joke and a laugh as well as cramming for the upcoming finals. Darry was on at me non-stop about studying, but other than that things were pretty okay at home too. Darry had been seeing a lot of Rose and it was a regular thing now for her to join us for dinner at least once or twice a week. I loved having her around, not just because she was such a great person, but also because she made Darry so happy. He was different around her, more relaxed and less weighed down with all the worries he had to carry as the head of the household. She was good for him and seemed to love him just as much as I knew he loved her.

Soda was still with Sarah too, who I was starting to like a bit more now that she had stuck around for a long time and hadn't hurt Soda yet. Pony still showed no interest in any girls, not since his little crush on that Soc, Cherry. I know he liked her a lot, but he was also realistic and never expected it to come to anything. She was a super-Soc and he was a greaser. That was never gonna work, not in Tulsa.

Finals came all too fast. I was my usual bad tempered self during the exams and got into more fights than usual with my brothers. Darry tried to be understanding, but I couldn't really expect him just to put up with me snapping at him every two minutes and not get mad. So, I wasn't the only one who was relieved when the exams were finally over. I had studied hard, thanks to Darry's nagging and I felt happy with the way they had gone. We had to wait 2 whole weeks to find out how we did though and that was torturous!

Tara was of course keen to celebrate the end of the school year and the end of finals! There was a school dance and she was going with Craig and attempted to set me up with one of his friends, but I really did not want to go. The last school dance I had been to was when I had met Matt and although I was definitely over him I still wasn't quite ready to relive that memory and bring everything back up to the surface again. Tara reluctantly agreed to stop badgering me and I stayed at home that night.

Darry and Rose agreed to a game of Monopoly with me and Pony. Soda was out with Sarah and the rest of the guys. It was a really fun evening and for the first time ever I beat Pony to win the game. Usually Pony won every time and wiped us all out, but I must have learned some of his tactics and one by one I bankrupted my opponents. It was awesome, especially as Pony was really annoyed to have to relinquish his champion status! He sulked for the rest of the evening and went to bed early to get away from my gloating.

The results arrived by mail the following week and Soda retrieved them from our mailbox. I was flopped on the couch reading when he came in holding the envelope.

"Uh-oh Bex, what have you been up to now? There's a letter here for the parent or guardian of Miss Rebecca Grace Curtis."

I jumped up from the couch "Oh no, it's the results of the finals!" My heart was pounding and I felt sick to the stomach. I really hoped I had done okay. "Let me see." I held my hand out for the letter.

"Sorry Bex, it's not addressed to you, it's for your guardian, you'll have to wait till Darry gets home." Soda teased.

"Soda! Don't be a pain, give it to me!"

He carried on teasing me by holding the letter up above his head, out of my reach. It sucked being so much shorter than the rest of my family! But, I had learned my own tactics for dealing with annoying brothers and I knew exactly what Soda's weak spot was. I started immediately poking him on his sides and he instantly dropped his arms in order to protect himself and I took advantage and grabbed the letter out of his hand, laughing triumphantly as he finally stopped squealing like a girl!

"That was a low move." He complained with a grin and I just laughed.

"You may be taller, but that don't mean you can defeat me." I bragged.

"I'll give you that this time." He said cuffing me gently on the back of the head. "Well, come on then, open them up."

"I'm not sure if I want to now."

"What, after all that effort you went to to get the envelope?! Come on Bex, I'm dying to know how you got on. Bet you're top of the class like always."

"Hardly!" I said as I sat back down on the couch and started ripping the envelope open. I sighed with relief as I saw a row of As and only one B in English, I mean a B in English, that was a miracle in itself! I couldn't believe it and there was also a note in there to say I would be receiving the prize for Math for our class at the upcoming graduation ceremony.

"Well? Don't keep me in suspense!" Soda complained and I shoved the letter towards him so he could read it for himself.

"It's all okay." I said with a smile.

"Okay? Are you kidding me, you're a genius! Top of your class in math? That's real tuff. How did I get such a smart kid sister?" he grinned and he wasn't just faking it, I could tell he was real proud of me and that made me feel a rush of warmth inside. For once I had done something to make my family proud instead of disappointed or exasperated! That felt good.

Pony and Darry were just as proud when they came home and I showed them the letter too. Darry was overflowing with praise and gave me a huge hug.

"I'm real proud of you baby, you worked hard and you deserved this. I knew you could do it. I say we all go out to Dairy queen to celebrate, what do y'all think?"

"That is the best idea you've had in months Darry." Soda teased with a grin and ran out the door to avoid a cuff to the head from his big brother. "Let's go!" he yelled as he slammed the door behind him.

Graduation was the following week and to be honest I wasn't looking forward to it. The last time we had been to a graduation was Pony's and Mom and Dad had been there and made a real big thing of it. If I could have done I would have liked not to even go at all, as it was occasions like that which really reminded me of the big hole left behind by my parents' death. But Darry and Soda would not hear of it of course. Their approach was the opposite. They wanted to make a huge deal of it so that I wouldn't feel the absence of Mom and Dad as much. I don't know which approach was right or best, but I apparently didn't have any say on which we would do anyway. Darry and Soda arranged a party at our place for afterwards, with Two-Bit, Steve, Tara and her family and of course Sarah and Rose all invited. I was kinda dreading it, but I pretended to be pleased to make my brothers happy.

The ceremony itself went okay, although it was a little embarrassing when I got what must have been the loudest cheer of anyone when my name was called to come up for my certificate. I blushed and couldn't help grinning when I saw my brothers and the rest of the gang all standing up, whistling and hollering when I was up on the platform. They made even more noise when I had to go up again for the Math award. Anyone would think I was getting a PHD or something! I felt a small pang of sadness at Mom and Dad not being there, but mostly I felt loved and glad to have those guys in my life.

We all congregated back at our house for the party. It was different to the last party at our house of course, no booze for me and Tara for starters, although of course Two-Bit and Steve, and even Darry, had a beer or two. It was actually pretty good fun. Towards the evening Tara, Pony and I sat out on the porch while he had a cigarette and we chatted. While we were out there we watched a new family moving into the house opposite ours. There seemed to be a Mom and two boys, one about my age and another around Pony's age or a little older. They were hauling boxes and furniture off the back of a big truck and we decided to do the neighbourly thing and offer to help.

Pony went ahead of us and spoke to the older boy, "Hi, I'm Ponyboy Curtis, I live just across the street. This is my sister Becky and our friend Tara."

"Hi." Said the boy, who was tall, about the same height as Soda, with sandy brown hair and brown eyes. He shook hands with each of us "I'm Joshua Baxter, we just moved here from Dallas. My Mom got a new job at the hospital in town."

"Nice to meet ya. We wondered if you wanted any help unloading before it gets dark." I said.

The boy smiled. "Well, that's real nice of ya. We could sure use a hand. My Mom can't manage anything too heavy and my kid brother ain't much more help either."

"Hey!" complained the other boy, who was slightly shorter than his big brother with the same eyes, but darker hair. His brother just gave him a playful punch on the arm.

"This is Caleb. He must be about your age." Joshua said, looking at me and Tara.

"Hi." Caleb said "You live nearby?"

"I live right across the street, this is my brother Pony and my friend Tara just lives a couple of blocks away. We just graduated Junior High today." I answered him. Pony went off with Joshua to get a couple of boxes from the truck.

"Well, at least I'll know someone when I start at the high school after the summer. It's real good to meet ya. I'd better go and carry some more stuff in before my brother starts nagging me." He said with a wink and a grin. He had freckles and a cute dimple on his right cheek and I found myself blushing when he winked. I admonished myself for even thinking he was cute, since I had promised to swear off boys forever. He seemed nice and I was sure we could all be friends. I definitely did not want another boyfriend just yet and anyhow I was getting ahead of myself, he probably wasn't interested anyway.

"He seems nice." Tara whispered to me and waggled her eyebrows.

"Yeah, he's okay." I said dismissively and Tara just looked at me knowingly. She knew me too well and had noticed my tell-tale blush. "Stop it!" I told her and marched off "Come on, let's go help."

Between us Tara and I carried a table into the house and then a few chairs and soon enough the truck was empty.

"Hey, do you guys wanna join us for a drink and some barbecue? My brother's just cooking now. We're kinda having a party to celebrate Bex's graduation."

"You sure your folks won't mind?" asked Joshua.

"Erm, our folks aren't around anymore, it's just us and our two older brothers. The eldest, Darry, he's our guardian and he kinda looks after us." Pony explained reluctantly.

"Oh, I see. Our Dad passed away 6 months ago, so it's just us and our Mom. It must be hard with both parents gone." Joshua sympathised.

Pony and I just nodded. There wasn't much to say to that, because yes, it was hard, but that was life.

"I'll just go check with Darry if it's okay." I said and ran across the street to tell him about our new neighbours. Of course he said that was fine. If there was one thing we had learned from our parents it was to be hospitable and generous. They were always welcoming our neighbours in for food or mending their fences or cooking them meals when they were sick. Some of that had rubbed off on us kids and we all tried to be like them.

Joshua and Caleb fit in just fine with the rest of the gang. Their Mom, Peggy, said she would stay behind and start unpacking a few boxes. She seemed nice, but was quiet and must have been pretty exhausted after the long trip and hauling boxes all afternoon. It was nice to have some new faces to talk to and it would be good to have some more kids our age to hang out with over the summer. Normally I hung out quite a lot with Pony during the summer break, but this year he had got himself a part-time job at the library over the vacation. Usually we ended up getting on each other's nerves and driving Darry and Soda crazy with our bickering anyway. Tara would be away for at least a couple of weeks at her Grandparents in Delaware, so I would be glad of Caleb and Joshua's company. I could show them around and introduce them to folk. Of course there was always Two-Bit but as much as I loved him I didn't envisage the two of us hanging out for the whole of summer. He was a friend but I guessed at 19 he didn't really want to be hanging out with a 13 year old girl the whole time. That could seriously cramp his style.

Tara and I lay out on the porch late into the night once the Baxter boys had gone home. It was hot and sticky and was nice to be outside, despite the mosquitoes. Darry, Rose, Soda and Sarah were inside chatting and playing cards. Pony had trailed off to bed and the rest of the gang had gone their separate ways. It was quite peaceful out on the porch with just the dull hum of the voices from inside and the odd cicada. Most of the local hoods must have still been out causing trouble in town and hadn't yet started their noisy drunken journeys home.

Tara had fallen asleep and I glanced away from her to look up at the stars and try to spot the constellations that Pony had told me about before. He knew about all that stuff, he was so smart. He had told me about looking at the stars with Johnny when they were at that church in Windrixville and that made me think again about all that had happened in such a short time. So many people we loved dying; Mom, Dad, Dally and Johnny. Yet we had survived. We were carrying on like they would have wanted us to. I missed them all dreadfully, especially Mom and Dad, but they were still with us, influencing how we lived as a family. How we loved each other. Darry trying to bring us up right, to keep us out of trouble. Soda working hard to keep us afloat and keeping us centred, making us laugh at ourselves despite it all. Pony quietly and gently grounding us with his wisdom and his understanding of things. I wasn't sure where exactly I fit in or what role I had in this family, but I knew they needed me too. Maybe I was there to distract them by doing crazy things like throwing parties, running off in the middle of nowhere, having secret boyfriends….well, hopefully that wasn't my real role. Maybe I was there to remind them of Mom or to be the baby and give them someone to look after. Whatever it was, I knew that I was grateful for my family and my life, despite all its problems. I sighed and smiled at the anticipation of the summer break ahead of me and the scary but exciting beginning of a new chapter as a high school student. I was ready for a change and a new adventure.


End file.
